Vault: Melissa joined a high school marching band

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: Melissa Joined a High School Marching Band" (June 29, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, The Bert Show crew dives into a unique and humorous adventure: Melissa Carter, a regular cast member, is invited to join the Central Carroll High School marching band. The story unfolds with plenty of laughs, self-deprecation, warmth, and a deep appreciation for the arts. The episode centers around Melissa’s journey—from her bucket list wish to attend the Rose Bowl Parade, to actually marching in it—culminating in her acceptance into the band and the reveal of the instrument she'll play.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Melissa’s Bucket List and the Rose Bowl Parade

• Melissa shares her dream: Watching the Rose Bowl Parade with her mother has long been a cherished tradition. She’s always wanted to attend in person.
  • [01:20] Melissa Carter: "One of the things I want to do on my bucket list sometime before I die, I want to attend the Rose Bowl Parade. Because I just think it's... so creative and so neat."
• Background on the Parade: The crew highlights the uniqueness of the Rose Bowl Parade, including its requirement that all floats be decorated with organic materials.
  • [02:13] Melissa Carter: "Everything is organic in the parade, so all the floats have to be made from organic materials."

The Invitation from Central Carroll High School

• How it happened: Melissa is offered a spot in the Central Carroll High School band after mentioning her bucket list on air. The band heard her and reached out, making her part of their journey to Pasadena.
  • [04:03] Melissa Carter: "They actually heard me say that on air and contacted me and offered me a position in their band so that I could be in the Rose Bowl Parade with them."

Behind the Scenes: The Band’s Achievement

• Significance of the Invitation: Central Carroll High School's selection for the parade is highlighted as a tremendous achievement, with only 12 high school bands in the U.S. accepted out of over 100 applicants.
  • [03:03] Band Member: "There were over 100 across the country that apply for it. And we're one of 12 high school bands in the United States."

Melissa’s New Role: Marching and Playing

• What's next for Melissa: She must join band rehearsals and will be given an instrument chosen by the band. The group anticipates what this will mean for her (and her patience, and her girlfriend’s patience).
  • [04:04] Melissa Carter: "The stipulation was that they got to choose the instrument for me."
  • [04:27] Co-host 1 (joking): "Sorry for your girlfriend because she has to listen to you practice all year."

The Big Reveal: Melissa Will Play Trombone

• Instrument selection: Central Carroll High selects the trombone for Melissa, prompting plenty of jokes from the hosts and band members.
  • [06:48] Host: "So what do you got, Luke? She's gonna be playing trombone."
  • [07:13] Melissa Carter: "Well, I am proud to play trombone with the Central Carroll High School marching band."
  • Reaction is a mix of encouragement and comic relief about the challenge ahead.

The Challenge and Dedication

• Melissa’s determination: Despite jokes about her musical inexperience (and short arms!), Melissa is seriously committed to learning and marching.
  • [08:58] Melissa Carter: "But I can do it. It's a challenge. I can take this."
  • [06:22] Melissa Carter: "I have been practicing walking for a long time. I can do this. I can kick, roll, kick, step, roll. I can do that."
• Band members’ seriousness: Central Carroll band members stress the importance of the opportunity and making sure Melissa takes it seriously.
  • [06:01] Host to band member Luke: "Melissa here can't just come in and take this lightly. She's got to take it very, very seriously."
  • [06:01] Luke: "Yeah, pretty much."

Anticipation and Next Steps

• Melissa promises to practice: She's expected to bring her trombone into the studio the next morning to give the team her "day one" performance.
  • [09:21] Host: "You got to come in here tomorrow morning and just give us our first sample."
  • [09:31] Melissa Carter: "Okay."
• Logistics and Lessons: Band members discuss where to get a trombone and offer to work with Melissa.
  • [09:34] Melissa Carter: "I don't know. People can email me about music stores in the Sandy Springs area."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Melissa’s Age and Ambitions
  • [01:57] Melissa Carter: "All my life I thought, I'm not going to make it to 40. So I still haven't made it to Thursday yet, but I'm getting close."
• On Band Selection Jitters
  • [03:33] Host: "Is it a little ... like when you call a radio station, 'Be caller 100,' you do it, but you don't ever really think you're going to get through?"
• On Practice and Jokes
  • [06:29] Co-host 3: "Melissa, you fell off a curb at Disney World and broke your ankle six months ago."
  • [06:33] Melissa Carter: "Passed. Jeff, that's in the past. Let it go."
• On Playing Trombone and Nicknames
  • [07:56] Host: "This is the most ironic moment we've ever had on the show. The fact that Melissa is going to be a tromboner."
  • [08:08] Co-host 3: "And that will be your nickname, just so you know, from now until I don't know you anymore."
• On Commitment
  • [08:23] Melissa Carter: "...I am taking this seriously. And I will practice all year, and by January 1st, I'm gonna be crazy."
  • [08:43] Host: "This is a big deal. I mean, I'm assuming you just can't pick up a trombone and just emulate. Copy somebody that's next to you. This is gonna take a lot of time."

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Key Timestamps

• [01:20] – Melissa talks about her dream to attend the Rose Bowl Parade.
• [03:03] – Central Carroll Band reveals the exclusivity of their parade invitation.
• [04:03] – Melissa explains how she was invited to join the band.
• [06:01] – Central Carroll band member gets serious about the challenge.
• [06:48] – The trombone is officially assigned as Melissa’s instrument.
• [07:56] – The hosts joke about Melissa’s new title: “tromboner.”
• [09:21] – Melissa is challenged to bring her trombone to the studio next day.

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Conclusion

This episode is a playful, heartwarming deep dive into what happens when a radio host’s on-air wish intersects with a high school’s once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Melissa’s journey from parade commentator to parade participant is both hilarious and touching, laced with good-natured ribbing from her colleagues and enthusiasm from the Central Carroll High band. As she embarks on learning the trombone, listeners are invited along for the ride—promising more music, more jokes, and the fulfillment of a bucket-list dream.

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Transcript

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[Host]

play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. It's the vert show. All right, Melissa Carter, you're gonna have to guide me through this because all I saw on the schedule was Melissa Carter has joined a high school marching band. And I thought, creeper.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, first of all, don't insult me, okay, because I'm just supporting the arts. But no, I.

[Host]

When a 30 something year old woman wants to go back to high school to join, I mean, if it's a guy, you're like creepy.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, first, I appreciate you calling me 30 something this week, but. No, But it was last. I guess it was last year sometime that we were. Oh, you know what, it was after the holidays, this is what happened. So we, my mother and I for years had watched the Rose bowl parade. So it was when we were going on vacation and all the, you know, bowl games were going on. And when we got back, I had said that, that one of the things I want to do on my bucket list sometime before I die, I want to attend the Rose bowl parade. Because I just think it's.

[Host]

And now that you're looking at 40 years old, that bucket list really seems a little bit bigger today, doesn't it?

[Melissa Carter]

I'm hoping I make it to 40. All my life I thought, I'm not going to make it to 40. So I still haven't made it to Thursday yet, but I'm getting close.

[Host]

So.

[Melissa Carter]

But the Tournament of Roses parade, if you've never seen it or I mean you've heard of it, Rose bowl. Each bowl has a parade, but theirs is unique one because it's the first bowl.

[Co-host 1]

And.

[Melissa Carter]

And it's the first parade. And it's also. Everything is organic in the parade, so all the floats have to be made from organic materials. So I just think that is so creative and so neat. So I happen to say on air that there is someday I want to go to the Rose bowl parade. Okay, so that's where it started.

[Host]

Well, to go to.

[Co-host 1]

Just to see.

[Host]

To go.

[Melissa Carter]

To see it. I want to be in Pasadena. I want to see the Rose bowl parade. Well, it ends up that one of our own marching bands is actually going to be in the Rose bowl parade in 2011. And I'm talking about Central Carroll High School in Carrollton.

[Host]

Okay. Now, how exclusive is something like that?

[Co-host 2]

It's a huge deal.

[Melissa Carter]

It is a huge deal. They can. Because I forgot how many schools. Because we have Central Carroll High School. We have some representatives of the marching band here today. And how many schools apply to be in the Rose bowl parade, and how many are actually in it from high schools around the country?

[Central Carroll Band Member]

There were over 100 across the country that apply for it. And we're one of 12 high school bands in the United States. So we're selecting.

[Co-host 1]

Whoa.

[Audience Member]

Wow.

[Host]

And is that all based on, like, a video audition or how is that done?

[Central Carroll Band Member]

Yeah, we sent in a video. It's about a year in the process. We sent in a video application that covered everything about our band program, our community, our school. Sent in videos, audio recordings of the band, letters of recommendation, references from all over.

[Host]

Is it a little. It's got to be a little bit like when you call a radio station A B caller 100, you do it, but you don't ever really think you're going to get through.

[Melissa Carter]

Right. Exactly.

[Host]

And then you get this acceptance letter in the mail or something.

[Central Carroll Band Member]

You're like, wow, it was pretty awesome when we got the phone call.

[Host]

I bet. I bet.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, Now, I did not. So I found out that Central Carroll High School was going to the rose bowl parade. Not because I was being a creeper or going and searching out, but no, they actually heard me say that on air and actually contacted me and offered me a position in their band so that I could be in the Rose bowl parade with them.

[Host]

Literally playing in the band.

[Melissa Carter]

In the band. Yes. And the stipulation was that they got to choose the instrument for me. So I. When we talked about it last time, I don't know what instrument I'm going to play. And one of the reasons they're here today is to tell me what instrument I'm going to be. Purchasing. And I'm going to be learning this year so that come January, come New Year's Day, I can be in Pasadena in the Rose bowl parade with them.

[Co-host 3]

Why don't they have you sing I'm

[Co-host 1]

sorry for your girlfriend? Because she has to listen to you practice all year. Regardless of what instrument it is, it's going to sound like a dog dying. At least at first. I'm sorry. At least at first.

[Melissa Carter]

I mean, let's. Let's Leslie play for you in December, and it'll be completely. It'll be like birds singing. It'll be beautiful.

[Host]

Well, let's embrace this for a second, because you're not just going out there to see the parade. You're actually going to march with these guys in the parade.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, I will be on the street with Central Carroll High School.

[Co-host 1]

Are you going to get the uniform and everything, Luke? Is she going to get the uniform?

[Geico Advertiser]

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[Host]

they've got Central Carol pride.

[Central Carroll Band Member]

They're not doing that.

[Melissa Carter]

We worked too hard for this to ruin it with her. This is funny, but.

[Host]

So where are you going to hide her? Like, I mean, if she's not going to be in your uniform, is she, like, gonna be in the front, in the middle somewhere? How do you hide her?

[Melissa Carter]

Well, you sound like I'm huge. Like, you sound like.

[Host]

I mean, these are experienced kids, and this is a once in a lifetime, and you're gonna be in it.

[Co-host 2]

So coordination.

[Co-host 1]

What do you think would be best for her to be in the front or the back?

[Host]

We could put her in the lion costume. There you go.

[Co-host 1]

Now that is a fantastic idea.

[Melissa Carter]

It would be hard for me to manipulate the instrument if I was in some furry without opposable thumb.

[Host]

So you. I mean, Luke, you got to take this very seriously. You've probably been playing instruments your entire life here, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So Melissa here can't just come in and take this lightly. She's got to take it very, very seriously. Yeah, pretty much.

[Melissa Carter]

See? Yeah, it looks very intimidating. I mean, he's giving me the eye. He's going to be my coach. But yeah, I mean, I. I don't know why you don't think I take it seriously.

[Co-host 2]

Well, there's so much coordination. Y' all have to be in sync. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, on the beat while playing an instrument that you have to have memorized. Cause you can't have a script of music in front of you, so you have to memorize the song, too. All of that together.

[Melissa Carter]

I have been practicing Walking for a long time. I can do this. I can kick, roll, kick, step, roll. I can do that.

[Co-host 3]

Melissa, you fell off a curb at Disney World and broke your ankle six months ago.

[Melissa Carter]

Passed. Jeff, that's in the past. Let it go.

[Host]

It's going to have to be an instrument that. It has to be like a salt shaker or some kind of one of those little things. A little triangle.

[Melissa Carter]

It is up to Central Carroll High School, what I'm going to play in the Rose bowl parade.

[Host]

All right, so this is a very important decision here because it has to be something that she can obviously pick up. So what do you got, Luke? She's gonna be playing trombone. That's like a.

[Melissa Carter]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Host]

That's like sliding.

[Melissa Carter]

That's major, though, right?

[Host]

I mean, it takes something.

[Melissa Carter]

It's like a brass instrument. Fun.

[Co-host 1]

Come on.

[Melissa Carter]

It's like a jazz band instrument. It's cool.

[Host]

That's like a really big part of the band, right? Yeah, that's the best part of the band.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. 76 trombones lead the big break.

[Co-host 1]

Is that why. Why do you say that? Is that. Will you play? Yeah, that's the best part.

[Host]

So you're going to be her coach for the next year or whatever on trombone.

[Co-host 2]

Dude, that's.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm excited.

[Host]

I'm nervous for you.

[Melissa Carter]

Because imagine. I mean, like, they're. They're allowing me to be part of the Rose bowl parade for them, but imagine my career after that. This could be the beginning of a whole new musical career for me.

[Co-host 3]

Career. Name one professional tromboner.

[Melissa Carter]

You just want. These are high school kids.

[Co-host 1]

She could start. She could start.

[Co-host 2]

Racist.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, no, that's a bugle.

[Radio Announcer]

Because that's.

[Co-host 3]

That is going to. That's going to be your.

[Host]

This is the most ironic moment that we have ever had on the show. The fact that Melissa is going to be a tromboner.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, I know.

[Host]

Is the most ironic moment we've had in nine years.

[Melissa Carter]

In the story studio. Guest in the studio.

[Co-host 3]

And that will be your nickname, Just so you know, from now until I don't know you anymore.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I am proud to play trombone with the Central Carroll High School marching band.

[Co-host 1]

You're gonna have a new one, right? Not.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, I'm going to get it. Today I will have a brand new

[Co-host 1]

trombone, not a rusty one.

[Melissa Carter]

And I will begin to play this. I mean, you know what? Y' all can just make jokes all you want, peanut gallery, but I am taking this seriously. And I will practice all year, and by January 1st, I'm gonna be crazy.

[Host]

Do you know how to read music or anything like that yet? Nothing.

[Co-host 1]

Are you gonna be her tutor, like, after school?

[Co-host 2]

Sure.

[Host]

This is a big deal. I mean, I'm assuming you just can't pick up a trombone and just emulate. Copy somebody that's next to you. This is gonna take a lot of time.

[Co-host 3]

Especially Melissa. Yeah.

[Host]

She's never been a tromboner before.

[Melissa Carter]

That is true.

[Host]

This is gonna be difficult.

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[Melissa Carter]

But I can do it. It's a challenge. I can take this.

[Host]

All right. Good luck for that. Now, don't you.

[Co-host 3]

Have you noticed that Melissa has unusually short arms?

[Melissa Carter]

I don't. I don't, But I. But I will. You know what? I'm happy to let you see my progress as the year goes on.

[Host]

Okay, so that's our starting point. So I think today you got to go out and get the trombone.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Host]

You got to come in here tomorrow morning.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Host]

And just give us our first sample.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Host]

So at least we'll have something to compare it to at the very end before you get to.

[Melissa Carter]

I don't know why Mr. Carroll's laughing right now.

[Co-host 3]

Where do you get a trombone?

[Melissa Carter]

I don't know. People can email me about music stores in the Sandy Springs area.

[Host]

Ask Luke. I mean, he plays trombone. Where do you get that? Just a music store.

[Co-host 3]

Do you have an extra one? No, not for her to use.

[Host]

All right, so when does. When is her first official rehearsal with you guys?

[Melissa Carter]

They'll be discussing it with me after. After the show.

[Host]

These guys are so casual about it.

[Melissa Carter]

I know they're not. Yeah, they're not nervous.

[Co-host 3]

They have a feeling they're gonna tell. I have a feeling they're gonna tell. Melissa, the flight leaves on December 29th when it really leaves on December 28th. Yes, that's how all going to come down.

[Host]

Melissa, why don't you represent us in the Alamo bowl? And we're going to do the Rose bowl by ourselves.

[Melissa Carter]

Didn't you know the Rose bowl is in Texas?

[Co-host 3]

You're going to be like Baton Bob, walking through midtown, but with a trombone. You're going to be trombone or Melissa.

[Central Carroll Band Member]

All right, Central.

[Host]

Carol, thank you very much for. For allowing Melissa Carter this opportunity. That's huge, you guys. Thank you.

[Melissa Carter]

Thank you, my bandmates. And congratulations for being in the Rose Bowl. I will be in Pasadena with them.

[Co-host 1]

It's awesome. Congratulations, Central Carroll High School.

[Host]

All right, tomorrow morning, you bring the trombone, and we'll see what we're starting point.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, Perfect.

[Host]

Okay.

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[Melissa Carter]

I have definitely already been here. Now, was it left right or right left? Well, maybe I'll cut a path out and find my way back later.

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But it wasn't like that. I filed a claim in under two minutes on the Geico app and they handled it from there. It was taken care of almost as quickly as it happened.

[Co-host 3]

It feels good to get help quick.

[Melissa Carter]

It feels good to geico este cuatro

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[Melissa Carter]

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