Vault: Melissa plays the trombone in-studio

Summary

The Bert Show — "Vault: Melissa Plays the Trombone In-Studio"

Air Date: June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around Melissa Carter’s unexpected journey into the world of high school marching band music, specifically her first attempt at playing the trombone. Motivated by a long-time dream to attend the Rose Bowl Parade in person, Melissa is invited by Central Carroll High School (Carrollton, GA) to join their band as they head to the prestigious parade. The catch? She must perform on a major instrument—the trombone—which she’s never played before. The episode is filled with candid humor, nostalgia, and classic Bert Show banter as Melissa attempts her very first trombone note live on air.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Melissa’s Rose Bowl Dream (01:02–02:13)

• Background: Melissa shares her personal tradition with her mother of watching the Rose Bowl Parade each New Year’s Day, describing her admiration for the parade’s requirement that all floats are made of organic materials.
  • “Every float you see has to be made out of organic material. So it is just so fascinating.” — Melissa Carter (01:17)
• Invitation to Parade: Central Carroll High School, having earned a rare spot in the parade (1 of only 12 high school bands selected nationwide out of hundreds of applicants), invites Melissa to join them for the 2011 parade.
• Band Selection: Instead of a simple role, Melissa is assigned to learn and play the trombone—a pivotal band instrument.

The Trombone Challenge & On-Air Antics (02:14–06:24)

• Surprise at Instrument Choice:
  • “I thought maybe as an honorary band member, they’d give you something really easy, like the triangle or cowbell… The trombone is, like, major in the band.” — Host/Interviewer (02:55)
  • Melissa expresses both gratitude for the faith placed in her and trepidation for learning a new, challenging instrument.
• Getting the Trombone: Melissa thanks Ken Stanton Music for loaning the instrument and helping her set up—though she admits to zero experience, not even knowing how to assemble it initially.
• Nostalgia and Relatable Band Stories: The cast reminisces about high school band experiences, case-carrying rites of passage, and the stereotypical “girls play flute or clarinet” trope.
• First Assembly: Melissa struggles humorously with the assembly process, requiring help from a cohost and even an intern searching “how to hold a trombone” on YouTube (05:40).
  • “There’s pieces, parts to trombone. Hold on. I wouldn’t even know how to put this together.” — Melissa Carter (03:58)
• Moment of Truth:
  • The studio goes silent in anticipation as Melissa attempts her inaugural note.
  • “All right, let’s all be silent while Melissa Carter gives us her very first sample.” — Host/Interviewer (05:21)
  • The note is produced—awkward and challenging, but a true radio moment. Melissa turns red and jokes about the physical effort (“my lips feel a little funny”).

Live Listener Interaction & Parade Insights (06:36–07:57)

• Caller Encouragement:
  • A listener, Kelly, phones in to encourage Melissa, sharing her own experience attending the parade thanks to her brother’s band participation (06:38).
  • “We got to go up and actually touch—well, we’re not supposed to touch them—but be next to the floats and see the different materials they used… It’s amazing.” — Caller/Kelly (06:56)
• Melissa Explains the Parade’s Artistry: Melissa expands on the creative rules and how colors on parade floats are achieved organically (e.g., mustard seed for yellow), showcasing her genuine enthusiasm for the event and experience.

A Final Fanfare (07:57–08:01)

• At the host’s urging, Melissa is asked to play one more note as a hopeful precursor to her new “career as a tromboner player.”
• The segment closes with the cast’s supportive laughter and teasing, marking the end of this lighthearted and memorable in-studio moment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa on her new challenge:
  “That’s the beginning of my career as a tromboner player.” (06:24)
• Host’s reaction to the first trombone attempt:
  “She’s turning red.” (06:09)
• Co-Host poking fun:
  “Every girl plays flute or clarinet, don’t they?” — Co-host/Commentator (05:01)
• Melissa’s hopeful spirit:
  “They obviously have more faith in me than the people here in this room…” (03:15)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Melissa’s Rose Bowl tradition and dream: 01:12–02:13
• Surprise about the trombone assignment: 02:55–03:20
• Assembling and holding the trombone: 03:45–05:43
• Melissa’s first trombone note: 05:54–06:12
• Listener call about Rose Bowl Parade: 06:36–07:26
• Melissa explains creative float construction: 07:26–07:57
• Second trombone attempt (“fanfare”) before entertainment news: 07:57–08:01

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Summary

This Bert Show episode delivers classic morning show fun as Melissa Carter embarks on her trombone adventure. The combination of Melissa’s sincere excitement, the hosts’ playful teasing, and the unique challenge of learning a complicated instrument on-air creates an authentic and humorous experience for listeners. Whether or not Melissa becomes an accomplished “tromboner,” her journey is a resonant reminder of shared dreams, new challenges, and the laughter found in embracing both.

Transcript

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[Host/Interviewer]

All right, let's hear what Carter has here. Central Carol High School in Carrollton, Georgia in Carrollton, Georgia has made the offer to one Melissa Carter. Melissa Carter had a dream.

[Melissa Carter]

That's right.

[Host/Interviewer]

And her dream was to. To go and actually just see the Rose bowl parade, correct?

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, that. My mother and I and if you're a big Rose bowl fan or even if you're a big gardener, the Rose bowl parade is different than any other parade because every single thing in the Rose bowl parade is organic. So every float you see has to be made out of organic material. So it is just so fascinating. And HGTV does the best coverage of it. So if you're a big gardener, you should watch the Rose bowl parade on New Year's Day. But my mother and I, it's tradition that every year we do that. So I mentioned on here, I said I've never been to the Rose bowl, never seen it live. One day I would love to see it live. And I said this on air. And then the kind folks at Central Carroll High School said to me that they were going to be in the Rose bowl parade for 2011. They are one of just like what, a dozen or so high school bands across the country that applied and was accepted into the Rose bowl parade.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And the only they said hundreds applied and only 12 were accepted. That's huge.

[Melissa Carter]

And so they are representing Georgia in the Rose bowl parade.

[Host/Interviewer]

So let's correct.

[Melissa Carter]

That is correct.

[Host/Interviewer]

That is correct.

[Melissa Carter]

And so they have invited me to be part of the band. But one of the things was. Look, but we want to assign you the instrument. We want to be able to let you know the instrument, and that way you can learn to play it this year, and then we can highlight you in some performances as some fundraisers, because, of course, the kids have to raise money for their trip to the Rose bowl parade. And so yesterday, they came in and they let me know that it was the trombone that they wanted me to play. Okay. And I've never once played the trombone, Never picked it up. I've seen it. Now, I will say that my. One of my best friends growing up, we were college roommates. She played trombone in high school and for the University of Tennessee, pride of the Southland Marching Band. So it could have been osmosis that I watched her perform. And I have the gift.

[Caller/Kelly]

I have.

[Lady Luck]

I was.

[Host/Interviewer]

I said this yesterday, but I'll say it again today, that I am really surprised that. Because I thought maybe as an honorary band member, they'd give you something really easy to play. Something sort of. I don't know, a throwaway, you know, like the triangle.

[Melissa Carter]

Right. The cowbell.

[Host/Interviewer]

Cowbell. Something where you couldn't mess up. The trombone is, like, major in the band.

[Melissa Carter]

They have obviously. They obviously have more faith in me than the people here in this room that I've seen.

[Host/Interviewer]

I think you're gonna be fine eventually. I'm just really surprised that they gave you such a major instrument.

[Melissa Carter]

It's a challenge. This year, I do have to learn how to play the trombone to give a special thanks to Ken Stanton Music, because they did not laugh at me out loud when I explained to them what was going on yesterday. Now, Ron over at Ken Stanton Music and Marietta was kind enough to loan me this for this morning. And did he tell you how to even. Do you even know how to hold it?

[Lady Luck]

Do you know how to.

[Commercial Voice]

You know what?

[Melissa Carter]

Don't worry about that.

[Host/Interviewer]

Well, first she's got to worry about the small. You got to look at the big picture, Jen.

[Melissa Carter]

I would not even know how to hold it. Wendy, will you hold this for a second?

[Caller/Kelly]

You know what?

[Co-host/Commentator]

I bet. I'm guessing you can figure it out a lot quicker than Melissa can.

[Melissa Carter]

Will you hold this, Wendy, for a second? There's part. There's pieces. Parts to trombone. Hold on. I wouldn't even know how to put this together. And I have to say that I walked in this morning. Everybody's been to high school, I hope. I mean, in Georgia and everybody.

[Host/Interviewer]

That's no assumption.

[Lady Luck]

Here?

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Sorry.

[Melissa Carter]

And the hallways. You've seen people with the big black, you know, cases, like, it's pretty funny. The Drombone case does look like a Tommy Gun case from the old gangster movies, but. So I walked in this morning with my case. Now, I played sax. Well, I tried to play saxophone in junior high school, middle school now. And wasn't too good at it, but it did remind me here. Winnie, I'm sorry. Oh, that's fine. Pieces, Parts. I have to figure out how to put this together. Don't worry about it, okay? Just don't worry about how I'm putting this together. Never put a trombone together, so. But, yeah, I tried to play in middle school, the saxophone, but I just brought back memories of carrying that case. If you ever. Wendy was in the band, right? I was in the band.

[Host/Interviewer]

You were?

[Lady Luck]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What'd you play?

[Melissa Carter]

I played the flute.

[Spin Quest Announcer]

Did you?

[Melissa Carter]

I'm calling myself out. Well, your face wasn't too heavy, though. No, it was like a little mini briefcase.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Every girl plays flute or clarinet, don't they?

[Caller]

Indeed.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Except for some.

[Melissa Carter]

I don't know how to. Band camp. God, I loved when that movie came out. What in the world?

[Co-host/Commentator]

It looks cool.

[Host/Interviewer]

Melissa, man, this is major. Dude, I'm kidding.

[Melissa Carter]

Hey, I put it together. Look at that. I don't think that's how to hold it, though.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I don't think that's right. Is it?

[Host/Interviewer]

What's wrong with it?

[Lady Luck]

No, that's right.

[Melissa Carter]

Is that how I. Yeah.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yep. Right.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, let's all be silent while Melissa Carter gives us her very first sample.

[Co-host/Commentator]

It doesn't seem right.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, it's right for now.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, that slider thing is supposed to be like this, isn't it?

[Melissa Carter]

I don't know, but I'm gonna get a noise out of this. We'll turn it to the side like that.

[Co-host/Commentator]

There. There you go. You're holding it wrong. And that goes on your shoulder.

[Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Melissa Carter]

This. Like this?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yes.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, wait. Intern Brandon showing.

[Host/Interviewer]

What is he on YouTube right now?

[Melissa Carter]

Showing her a video how to hold up a trombone. All right, I'm sorry, this is not video, so you can't see what I'm doing. Okay. Are you ready?

[Host/Interviewer]

Do your thing, girl.

[Caller/Kelly]

Woo.

[Host/Interviewer]

This is our starting point right here.

[Melissa Carter]

My first ever trombone note. All right, here we go.

[Host/Interviewer]

You're going to hit the mic. There it is. So that's our starting point right there.

[Spin Quest Announcer]

Wow.

[Melissa Carter]

Excuse me.

[Host/Interviewer]

She's turning red.

[Melissa Carter]

Wait, hold

[Commercial Voice]

that.

[Melissa Carter]

Wore me out a little bit. I don't know how. How long is the Rose Bowl? Route. It's like.

[Host/Interviewer]

Like nine miles. It's like nine miles from Pasadena down to the Mexican border.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, my lips feel a little funny, but yeah, there you go. I got a noise out of it. Okay, so that's the beginning of my career as a tromboner player. Hey, Kelly.

[Spin Quest Announcer]

Good morning.

[Host/Interviewer]

You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Caller/Kelly]

Hey, Melissa. That was great.

[Host/Interviewer]

No, you liar. You're gonna lie to us.

[Co-host/Commentator]

We're not gonna believe anything you say now, just so you know.

[Caller/Kelly]

Well, I just want to let you guys know, I actually got to go one year because my brother played in the Rose Bowl.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, cool.

[Caller/Kelly]

And it was so cool because we. I don't know if you'll get to. But we got to go up and actually touch. Well, we're not supposed to touch them, but we got to go up and, like, be next to the floats and see the different materials they used and everything. And let me tell you, it is so different from what they see you see on tv, what you actually see in person. And it is. It's amazing.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah. I mean, like, what she's saying, and it may be for some who may not understand. Like, imagine a float in a parade. Well, every color has to be, like, for instance, yellow in a parade. You know, like, if you got a face in yellow, they have to take, like, mustard seed and spread it to create the color. They cannot use paint. They cannot use anything other than plant material. So it. To me, it's just so artistic and creative, and so that's one of the reasons I love it. And so I look. Thank you, central Carol, for letting me be close enough to the, you know, floats to be able to see it for myself come January.

[Host/Interviewer]

Give us one more note before we go into the entertainment bus.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah.

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