Vault: Melissa's egg freezing update.

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – Melissa’s Egg Freezing Update (July 7, 2026)

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Overview

Main Theme:
This episode centers on Melissa’s candid and insightful update about her journey with egg freezing and embryo creation as she and her partner Katie pursue the path of building their family. The conversation digs into the emotional, medical, and financial realities of fertility treatment, ending with reflections on vulnerability, hope, and celebration at every stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Egg Freezing? (01:32–02:34)

• Melissa shares that the conversation about children began a few years ago with Katie, who hoped to use Melissa’s DNA for their potential family.
• They learned from their doctor that embryos are more viable than eggs for freezing, prompting them to plan for embryo creation instead of just egg freezing.
• Financial Challenge: Insurance did not cover the costs, so they saved money for years before proceeding.

2. The Process and Its Taboo Nature (02:34–03:20)

• Social Stigma:
  Jen and Melissa discuss how both straight and queer couples often hide their in vitro journeys, partially due to perceived failure or embarrassment about fertility challenges.
  • “It’s either straight couples don’t talk about it at all...like some sort of forbidden secret...” – Jen (02:34)
• Atmosphere at Clinics:
  The emotional toll on couples is stark; most are solemn and drained after years of trying and disappointment.

3. Melissa’s Medical Journey (03:20–04:01)

• Detail of Hormone Treatments:
  For six weeks, Melissa underwent hormone injections and pills, instructing her body to produce as many eggs as possible.
• The Egg Retrieval:
  She underwent surgery yesterday and produced seven eggs—a strong result for her age.
  • “I produced seven eggs." – Melissa (03:58)
  • “That’s a good number, especially for a 40-year-old...that’s above average for my age.” – Melissa (04:01)

4. Embryo Creation and Next Steps (04:22–05:04)

• After retrieval, eggs were fertilized with donor sperm (from someone Melissa and Katie know), and they’re waiting to learn how many embryos were successfully created.
• “We both selected the sperm donor...it is somebody we know.” – Melissa (04:36)

5. Decision About Carrying the Baby (05:04–05:52)

• Due to Melissa’s age and her history as a kidney transplant recipient, she will not be the one to carry the pregnancy.
• “I thought, I cannot be pregnant and then be worried the whole time about this.” – Melissa (05:26)
• This involved careful coordination with doctors to even permit the egg retrieval procedure.

6. Couple Dynamics and Emotional Moments (05:52–06:28)

• Katie supports Melissa through the emotional aspects; they refrain from celebrating until embryos are confirmed.
• “You’ve done everything you can as a woman to reproduce...” – Katie (06:13)
• Lighthearted banter about raising the children and the hard work of the process.

7. Embryo Photos: A Family Portrait (06:28–06:50)

• Melissa requested photos of the embryos—a “first family portrait”—before they’re frozen.
• “However many they were, they’re going to take a picture of them before they put them in the freezer.” – Melissa (06:43)

8. Vulnerability, Sharing, and Hope (06:51–08:31)

• Jen commends Melissa for her openness, noting how rare and brave it is to share such a personal process.
• Melissa admits she only revealed her plans to the group when she knew the process could proceed.
• They reflect on the fact that while some outcomes are uncertain, each step forward is a victory.
  • “Seven eggs, I’m proud of that...If they turn into children or not, that’s not up to me.” – Melissa (08:21)

9. Wrap-Up Reflections & Humor (08:31–08:56)

• Katie admits she’s been rather clueless about the scientific details and vows to take a sex ed class.
• The team pokes fun at themselves and each other, balancing the episode’s emotional depth with humor.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the emotional burden and silence:
  • “There’s a sense of failure...so a lot of couples don’t want anybody to know.” – Melissa (02:43)
• Clinic vibes:
  • “When I’ve been to the fertility clinic...all the other couples are very solemn and very...they don’t even look each other in the eye.” – Melissa (03:05)
• On success after retrieval:
  • “That’s a full starting basketball team and two players coming off the bench!” – Katie (04:17)
• On process and uncertainty:
  • “This is all for nothing, but...it’s not all for nothing because we are celebrating every phase of it.” – Melissa (08:19)
• On sharing openly:
  • “I’m so proud of you for sharing and being so honest with this typically very private process...” – Jen (06:51)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction to Melissa’s journey: 01:32
• Social stigma in fertility clinics: 02:34
• The hormone regimen and surgery: 03:20–04:01
• Embryo creation and results: 04:22–05:04
• Decision about who will carry: 05:04–05:52
• Emotional reflections and embryo photos: 06:43
• Candid reflections on sharing: 06:51–08:31
• Wrap-up and humor about sex ed: 08:31–08:56

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Recap

Melissa’s update is heartfelt, humorous, and highly informative—offering listeners an authentic look into the egg-freezing process, the layered emotional experience, the practical obstacles, and the ways families can be built beyond traditional paths. Her willingness to share the gritty details and emotional ups and downs provides encouragement and connection for anyone navigating fertility challenges. The cast, especially Jen and Katie, offer warmth and wit, making this sensitive journey relatable and uplifting for all.

Transcript

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[Melissa]

I was out because. Long story short, because Burt just came in. Hey, Bert. To update him on what's been going on. But it was a couple years ago that Katie and I started discussing children. And one of the things that Katie wanted was to include my DNA, to include my offspring in our brood. A potential brood. So she said, I'd like you to consider freezing your eggs so that we can use them. We learned that it's better to freeze embryos than freezing eggs because it's because they're more resilient. They are proven to be able to be frozen and unfrozen and used. And eggs are not proven to have as much of a success rate. So in the past couple years, we have not only found the sperm donor, but we have also had to save money for it because our insurance does not cover this procedure, which is very expensive. And so the past six weeks I've been going through the process of getting hormones. The basic premise of I and Jen brought up a good point earlier that we usually don't hear about it unless it's Octomom or Kate Gosselin, because a lot of couples don't want to talk

[Jen]

about it because it's either straight couples don't talk about it at all. It's like some sort of like forbidden secret that nobody's allowed to know they're doing in vitro.

[Katie]

What's the taboo with it?

[Melissa]

I think there's a sense of failure. Either he has a low sperm count or she does not have a high egg count or high egg potential. And so I think a lot of couples don't want anybody to know because it is fascinating. Even when I've been to the fertility clinic and gone into the lobby and sat in the lobby, like Katie and I are the talking and joking, have a good time. And you know, and all the other couples are usually very solemn and very.

[Jen]

Don't look at anybody in the eye.

[Melissa]

They don't even. Sometimes they'll look each other in the eye. I mean, it is an awkward thing.

[Katie]

They're probably years into trying, so they tried traditionally for so long and went through that very frustrating period and then the sad period, realizing it can't happen that way. So they're so far ahead of this.

[Melissa]

They're so emotionally drained. Yeah, they're so emotionally drained by the time they're in the lobby. But. But yeah. So it is a, it is to me a fascinating because I've never really delved into this. So it's a fascinating process and I love science that they can do this for these couples and for us. And so for six weeks I've been doing shots and pills to basically tell my body, you know what, at this ovulation, don't make one egg, make as many as you can. And so yesterday I went through the procedure of going to grab those eggs. And it's a surgical procedure where I had to have anesthesia and they went, you know, theythey went through, you know, my female parts to go get them. Andand so we found out yesterday that I produced seven eggs.

[Katie]

That's a lot, right?

[Melissa]

And that is a good number, especially for a 40 year old. I gotta say that I loved Also the fact they're bragging on me because they're like, that's above average for my age. So thank you very much. Always a competition. Yes, Always a competition.

[Friend/Commentator]

Honey, you can spend two years on Farmville taking care of all your crops and still not come up with seven eggs.

[Melissa]

That's right. That's right.

[Katie]

That's a full starting basketball team and two players coming off the bench.

[Melissa]

Hello.

[Host]

That's awesome.

[Melissa]

But now the thing that happened yesterday is they took those eggs and then I went home, and then they put the sperm and the egg together and they put it in a pet. Today I will find out.

[Jen]

And the sperm is from somebody that you both selected.

[Melissa]

That we both selected.

[Jen]

It is somebody you know.

[Melissa]

It is somebody we know. And so we will find out today which one of those seven eggs started splitting, started actually becoming an embryo. And then those embryos are the ones that they will put in the freezer. So there's a likelihood that not all seven will make it, but we will find out today which of the seven will make it. Hopefully any of the seven will make it into the freezer. And those are our potential children.

[Listener]

Wow.

[Jen]

And then you have to talk about later, the later plan for implantation and what you said Kati said to you

[Melissa]

when y' all were going to bed last night. Yeah, so I, you know, I am in my 40s now. I mean, I can say that I am in my 40s now and also a kidney transplant recipient. So we've made the decision that I'm not going to carry because there were even concerns throughout this process. We. Everything we had to do, including yesterday, the anesthesiologist and the doctor doing the procedure and my nephrologist, my kidney doctor, were all having to coordinate together to make sure I could even take some of the anesthesia because I've never. I haven't had anesthesia since my transplant. So I was mentally concerned throughout the whole process of how it was going to affect my kidney. And I thought, I cannot be pregnant and then be worried the whole time about this. There's plenty of women who are transplant recipients of all organs that are successfully carry a baby, but we just decided that for the combination of the age.

[Jen]

So you've got two women. You got an option.

[Melissa]

We have an option. So we decided that I'm not going to be the one to carry it. So last night, Katie, who's just been. She's been wonderful. And yesterday there were tears, and there weren't tears because I keep telling her to wait until they're in the freezer before we pop the champagne, because we have a champagne bottle ready for ton. And so she last night said, you know what? You realize that since that you're not gonna get pregnant, that you've done everything you can as a woman to reproduce, like, except, you know, not raise the children. But when it comes to physically reproducing,

[Friend/Commentator]

she doesn't want you to raise the children.

[Katie]

If you want to go right to the raising stage, you could take Olive for the next three weeks.

[Melissa]

You know what? I went through a lot to get these eggs out. So if I can, I'm gonna use these eggs that I've worked so hard, but. Oh, another thing. And then that one of the things that they can do that that I requested is they can take pictures of the embryos.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa]

So my first family portrait is going to be. However many they were, they're going to take a picture of them before they put them in the freezer.

[Katie]

That's great.

[Melissa]

So I will show those to you.

[Jen]

It's been, like, really, really fascinating following. And I told Melissa earlier, like, I'm so proud of you for sharing and being so honest with this, like, typically very private process, you know, because there is some vulnerability, actually a lot of vulnerability in it and in sharing and sharing the process. But we've gotten to learn so much, like, along the way, because you've been able to be vulnerable about this, and, like, you're gonna tell us, like, how many embryos go and, like, when you. Eventually, however many years down the road it is that you guys do the in vitro, like, whether it takes or not, right?

[Melissa]

And there's, like, potential.

[Jen]

There's potential disappointment in that, and there's a lot of conformability in that. And so I commend you for being so honest and, like, bringing everybody into that process, because that's hard to.

[Melissa]

Well, I didn't share with. And thank you, Jen. I didn't share with these guys until last week that I was doing this, because it wasn't until last Thursday that we had the go or no go, you know, because I've done the hormones for this long. But some women, the hormones don't take, and they don't grow eggs, and they can't go to this point. So it was Thursday when they started scheduling the last part of the process. And that's when I shared it with you guys, because I'm like, well, at least now there's hope that I can do it. And then yesterday was a huge deal because so many elements have to come together for the procedure to even take place. And we did it. And like I said today, I'll find out if I got any embryos. And then, you know, like Jen said in a couple years, whenever we decide to have children, that that's another part of the step and that hopefully the embryos will take because it could be this is all for nothing, but to me, but Katie and I were like, it's not all for nothing because we are celebrating every phase of it. So seven eggs, I'm proud of that. The embryos today, I'm proud of that. And if they turn into children or not, that's not up to me. That's the decision. Yeah, absolutely.

[Katie]

I'm going to go online today and seriously taking a sex ed class to see how well I do because throughout this whole process, well, you got two

[Friend/Commentator]

kids, so you're not sleeping well.

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[Katie]

But I mean, that's the basics throughout you talking about this entire thing. I have sat here embarrassed now for weeks, really not knowing exactly how the whole process works. Either I never knew it or I've forgotten it. But I'm going online today to see how bad I am.

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