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Mrs. Claus
Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.
Drew Ski
Zoey, this thing weighs a ton.
Kimber
Drew Ski, lift with your legs man.
Host (possibly Birch)
Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?
Drew Ski
He's talking to you britches.
Host (possibly Birch)
I'm not.
Mrs. Claus
Of course he did.
Host (possibly Birch)
Right Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.
Drew Ski
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Mrs. Claus
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Host (possibly Birch)
Or give it as a gift.
Mrs. Claus
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Drew Ski
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Host (possibly Birch)
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Drew Ski
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Host (possibly Birch)
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Host (possibly Birch)
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Mrs. Claus
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Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, the Birch Show. I was working on the show over the weekend and I told you guys I haven't been diagnosed with it, but I know I've got ADD because there's no way that I can focus on one thing for more than two minutes. So while I'm working on the show on Sunday, I have the TV on and I'm like not even watching. But I'm channel surfing but I'm not even watching what's going on. And every now and then I'll look over at the tv, then I look over at the computer and I look over at the TV and I sit stop in my tracks when an old 80s movie comes on called Three O' Clock High. Now you're gonna have to be old school to remember this. This movie.
Jen
Do you remember it?
Host (possibly Birch)
You do?
Jamie
Waiting. Waiting for the fight.
Host (possibly Birch)
That's right. This total geek ticks off the school bully and the whole movie is about how this guy tries to get out of the fight. It's a cheesy 80s, funny mindless movie and it's all about the bully wanting to kick his butt at 3 o' clock and it, the bully ends up like knocking out the principal and knocking out the sheriff and the bully finally gets his butt kicked at the end of the movie. But it's just one of those mindless 80s flicks that whenever it's on and I'm channel surfing, I absolutely must stop on. Yeah, alright, so what I did was I put together the top ten mindless movies of all time. All right.
Jen
Okay.
Host (possibly Birch)
You guys ever see a movie called North Shore? Dude from Arizona wins a surf competition in a surf pool and they send him to Hawaii and he ends up winning like a professional surfing tournament. You guys never saw that one? All right, that's an old school one.
Jen
Also definitely not on the all time top 10 list. I'll have to rebut that one.
Host (possibly Birch)
Maybe a west coast one. Better off dead.
Jen
Oh yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
Come on, man.
Lucas
My favorite all times.
Host (possibly Birch)
If that thing is on TV and you are channel surfing, you are stopping on John Cusack. Is that the one with I want my $2?
Lucas
Yes, I want my $2. And then of course, you know, he's got his part time job at the burger place and he fantasizes about the Van Halen song and the burgers turn into these claymation.
Host (possibly Birch)
That's right.
Lucas
You know, man burger, woman burger and the romance and it. I love that movie.
Host (possibly Birch)
Great movie. True genius.
Jen
I don't know that.
Jamie
Real genius.
Host (possibly Birch)
Real genius. Yeah, real genius with Val Kilmer.
Lucas
Yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
Great movie, Lucas.
Lucas
Oh, see, that was. That was Charlie Sheen and the.
Host (possibly Birch)
What was that little kid's name? Corey something.
Lucas
Corey. The one of the names.
Host (possibly Birch)
If Lucas comes on. You never saw that movie, Jen. Oh, he's like this little itty bitty guy and he's trying to get the chick and he drives the football team.
Lucas
And Charlie Sheen's like the star football player and. Yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
10 Things I Hate about you.
Jen
Oh, yes.
Lucas
Now is that eight?
Host (possibly Birch)
That's not 80, that's 90s. These don't have to be 80s, okay.
Jen
Yeah, none of mine are 80s.
Host (possibly Birch)
Okay. 10 things I hate about you.
Jamie
2002.
Jen
You know, those old movies from last year.
Host (possibly Birch)
And I also put can't hardly Wait on that on that list.
Lucas
That movie? Yes. The only time I've ever liked Jennifer Love Hewitt was in that movie.
Jen
That was a good one.
Host (possibly Birch)
Can't hardly win. What would be on your list?
Lucas
Well, I put another Val Kilmer in because again, this is mindless. And it's one that I would never choose to rent or choose to watch. But then when it's on, I just kind of like, huh, is that top secret? It's like the predecessor to Airplane where he's like, the secret agent is like a goofy thing. So I think that was one of Val Kilmer's first movies, but now this one, I love this. And then this taps into my whole sci fi thing. Do you remember the last Starfighter? The kid who lives in the trailer park, and they have an arcade game in the trailer park. Then he's sent into space by the guy that played the music man. What's that guy? You know, a Victor Victoria guy. And he comes in a trench coat and top hat and he sends him out to space and he becomes the last starfighter to help this other guy.
Host (possibly Birch)
I've never seen it. Never seen it.
Lucas
Oh, my God.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah.
Lucas
This trailer park kid lives a video game. So anyway, Last Starfighter, Office Space. Yes.
Jen
That's all.
Host (possibly Birch)
It's up. You have said that movie before, and I have never seen it.
Lucas
It is mindless. It's Jennifer Aniston's first feature film. And. And it's on like, it's. It's on cable right now.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Derek, you agree with that?
Kimber
Oh, gosh, yes. It's the best quote movie. I mean, it talks about everybody's life in the office. If you work in like a cubicle space area.
Jen
Exactly. It's like, yeah, I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday? Yeah, that'd be great, boss.
Lucas
Yeah, it is a great movie. And then just one more that this is almost makes me mad because, I mean, because I don't like to sit and watch it, but you remember hiding out with Jon Cryer where he was the adult that went back in the high school? He's hiding out from some.
Host (possibly Birch)
Did that come out right after, like, Pretty in Pink? Wasn't he. Wasn't he Ducky in Pretty in Pink? Okay.
Lucas
Came after. After Pretty in Pink. And he. For some reason. Because if he does his hair in different color, didn't he do pink? You know, pink in the 80s, when you do the slash of color in your hair and thought that was cool. Well, you know, somehow he's gonna shave his beard and put pink in his hair and get him back into high school in his late 20s, and somehow nobody's gonna notice, so.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Jamie, you're on all the hits. Q100.
Kimber
Morning, guys.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hi. Greatest mindless movie of all time.
Kimber
Revenge of the Nerd.
Jen
Oh, yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
I do like that movie. I do like that movie. I do. The first one was great.
Lucas
Oh, yeah, the Pies. Yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah. All right. Great one.
Kimber
Hey, Stephanie, have you ever heard of a movie called Heaven Help Us? It has Andrew McCarthy and Kevin Dillon where they're in a Catholic school back in the. I think, the 50s.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yes.
Kimber
And at the end, they end up getting in a fight with the priest. And it's awesome.
Lucas
I don't know if that's such a mindless movie, though.
Kimber
But it's a classic that every time it's on, you're like, okay, I'm not moving.
Host (possibly Birch)
Gotta watch it.
Lucas
Yeah, yeah, it's.
Host (possibly Birch)
Good morning. All the hits. Q100.
Kimber
Have y' all ever seen Roller Boogie with Linda Blair?
Host (possibly Birch)
Roller Boogie?
No.
Kimber
It came around 39 and 80, and my sisters and I used to watch it all the time. Like when I roller skated all the time.
Host (possibly Birch)
Rollerbugging. I'll tell you, another one that comes on in the same kind of vein is Electric Boogaloo.
Lucas
Oh, yes.
Jamie
Breaking two.
Host (possibly Birch)
Breaking two.
Lucas
That's breaking two. Electric Boogaloo.
Host (possibly Birch)
Electric Boogaloo's gotta be on the list. You got a couple of these, Jen.
Jen
Yes. You know what's on the top of my list is Clueless, the one with Alicia Silverstone. And Paul Rudd is in it, and he's. I will get sucked into that every single time. And another one is Friday, you know, with.
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, that is funny.
Jen
Friday is a freaking funny movie. And it's just mindless I mean, there is nothing to it.
Jamie
But Friday is funny.
Jen
Frickin hilarious. Those two are definitely at the top of my list. And then what Melissa said. Office Space. Oh, love it.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Amy, you're on all the hits. Q100.
Kimber
Hey there. Good morning. Okay, my ultimate, top favorite mindless movie is Howard the Duck. I get sucked into it.
Lucas
Oh my God.
Jen
Oh, really?
Host (possibly Birch)
To me, that's one of the worst movies that I've ever seen in my life.
Kimber
I know, but oh my God, do you not watch it every time it's on, honey?
Lucas
I mean, no. What was that actress's name in it? And she. Leah Thompson sleeps with a duck in the movie.
Mrs. Claus
I'm kidding.
Kimber
How mindless is that?
Lucas
I mean, it is mindless. That is true.
Jamie
Aflac.
Host (possibly Birch)
High Q100.
Kimber
Hey, how are y'?
Host (possibly Birch)
All?
Kimber
Good, Good. I had say anything with John Cusack.
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, that is not mindless. That is pure gold.
Kimber
That is the best movie of all time.
Host (possibly Birch)
That is pure gold.
Kimber
Him with the boombox outside the girl's.
Host (possibly Birch)
Window or out in front of the Sip and Serve talking to all the loser guys about how he should be picking up on more ch.
Kimber
Exactly.
Drew Ski
Exactly.
Lucas
And I love his friend who writes all the songs for ex boyfriend. You know, it's great.
Host (possibly Birch)
If you guys know so much about chicks, why are you sitting outside the Sipping Serve on a Friday night? You have any of these?
Jamie
Yeah, my top five is in backwards order. Five would be Learning to Drive.
Jen
I don't know.
Host (possibly Birch)
That one never saw.
Lucas
Was that Bill Murray's younger brother in that or is that a different movie?
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, I don't know.
Jamie
Learning to Drive is with. I think it had both of the Coreys in it. And it's when the guy gets his license and he wants to take out the hot chick.
Host (possibly Birch)
I did see this.
Jamie
Four would be any of the National Lampoons, especially the first one.
Host (possibly Birch)
Okay.
Jamie
Three Camp or Short Circuit.
Lucas
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jamie
Any. Any movie with a song by DeBarge in it.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Johnny, he said, and he tried to look the other way.
I still like that song.
Jamie
2 would be can't Buy Me Love.
Jen
Yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, anything with. With that dude Dempsey in it. Isn't he Patrick Dempsey? Anything with him in it. You gotta watch.
Jamie
And the number one. And I can't believe nobody said this. And this is definitely the undisputed champion. And I challenge anyone to beat it. Ferris Bueller's Day off.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah, Always sucks.
Drew Ski
You right.
Host (possibly Birch)
I will at least watch it all the way up until the parade scene where he sings Dankoche. And then I'll take off.
Lucas
I just love when his friend is in bed and he thinks he's dying. I just love watching him get in the car. I'm not going.
Host (possibly Birch)
I'm not going.
Lucas
You know, I just. Yeah, I love it.
Jamie
Good morning.
Host (possibly Birch)
All the hits. Q100.
Kimber
Hey, good morning.
Host (possibly Birch)
Morning.
Kimber
I can't believe no one said this yet. Footloose with Kevin Bacon.
Host (possibly Birch)
Footloose. We've debated Footloose before. This is a movie to me that just does not stand the test of time. Like, it was great back in the day, but you watch it now and you're like, how cheesy is this thing?
Kimber
But, I mean, I have it on video that I taped off of TV back when I was in, like, my first high school. And I watch it all the time.
Jen
I love it.
Lucas
We can't start debating the intellect of these movies because, I mean, again, Last Starfighter, I'm playing a video game, and all of a sudden I'm in space. But I'll sit and watch it.
Jamie
Does anybody remember the movie about the kid who. Was there something wrong with him? But he. Was it called the Boy who Could Fly?
Host (possibly Birch)
I don't remember.
Lucas
I don't know.
Jen
I think I remember.
Jamie
And the girl lived next door to him, and he used to stare at her through the window. And at first it spooked her, but then she started to like him. Then they ended up on the roof together in the whole neighborhood. Because there's a. You know, of course, when they end up on the roof together, there's a neighborhood picnic in the backyard of the house and the roof they're on. So, you know, everybody looks and goes, oh, my God, they're on the roof. And everybody points. And then he takes her hand and they fly away.
Host (possibly Birch)
It's based on a true story, you know. Oh, here's another one. Weird Science.
Jen
You remember Weird Science always sucks you in.
Host (possibly Birch)
Morning all. It hits Q100.
Kimber
Hey, how's it going?
Host (possibly Birch)
Good, T.C. what's going on?
Lucas
All right.
Kimber
The Breakfast Club.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah. See, to me, that's mindless.
Jamie
I never got into any of those movies.
Host (possibly Birch)
Really? Any of the John Hughes movies?
Jamie
None of them. I think they came out at a time where I was too focused on pretending my pillow was Blair from Facts of Life.
Lucas
And I was making oh, well, 16 candles. Anytime that comes on, I am so. I will watch 16 candles the whole way.
Host (possibly Birch)
Freddie and Pink is another one.
Jen
Sure.
Lucas
Have you ever made out with a.
Jamie
Pillow and pretended it was Blair from Facts of Life? Yeah, I did a lot more than make out with it.
Jen
I pretended my pillow was a new kid on the block.
Host (possibly Birch)
Did you?
Jamie
My guess is my pillow is still fertile.
Host (possibly Birch)
The last place you want to bring a black life.
Jamie
Exactly.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Tommy.
Kimber
Hey.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, man. Finish it off for us.
Jamie
Raising Arizona.
Host (possibly Birch)
A classic. Classic mindless movie. That is a great movie, man. Thanks for calling. Okay, man. Bye.
Jen
Bye.
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, no. This one. I don't know if this one somehow fits into this category. Hey, Rita.
Kimber
Hey.
Host (possibly Birch)
Mindless movie.
Kimber
My Cousin Vinny.
Host (possibly Birch)
That is a good one, too. That is a movie you have to stop on. Yeah. Yeah.
Kimber
That's one of my favorites.
Lucas
When she's on the porch and she's talking about her biological clock and she's stomping on the porch. It's a great movie.
Host (possibly Birch)
Hey, Rhonda.
Mrs. Claus
Hey.
Kimber
I'm gonna show my age but Fast times at Ridgemont High.
Host (possibly Birch)
I got the dvd. It's great.
Kimber
It's awesome.
Host (possibly Birch)
Thank you.
Lucas
Thanks.
Host (possibly Birch)
Morning. All the hits Q100.
Hello.
Kimber
Hello.
Jen
Hey.
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Kimber
I got a movie for you.
Jamie
Okay.
Kimber
Little Shop of Horrors.
Host (possibly Birch)
Little Shop of Horrors.
Lucas
I have seen that. Yeah.
Host (possibly Birch)
Any good?
Lucas
It's okay.
Jamie
You've never seen it?
Jen
It's been mindless.
Jamie
Really?
Host (possibly Birch)
Never seen it. Morning. All the hits Q100.
Kimber
I can't believe you guys haven't mentioned it yet. It's the spoof of Star Wars.
Host (possibly Birch)
Spaceballs. Totally mindless and stupid.
Lucas
That's a great movie.
Host (possibly Birch)
Totally mindless and stupid.
Jamie
Mocha vegan.
Host (possibly Birch)
Thanks, Cory. See you, man.
Drew Ski
Hey, the Bird Show.
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Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Cast & Guests: Bert (Host, possibly Birch), Jen, Lucas, Jamie, Kimber, Drew Ski, and various listeners
A laugh-filled discussion on everyone's favorite "mindless movies"—those effortlessly watchable, often nostalgic films you just can't pass by when channel surfing. The hosts and listeners share and debate their top picks, swapping memories, hilarious stories, and iconic movie quotes. It’s a breezy, relatable episode perfect for anyone who loves comfort flicks and a dose of '80s or '90s pop culture.
Casual, energetic, and loaded with nostalgia. The hosts and callers reminisce, tease, and compete affectionately for the most gloriously mindless movie pick—sometimes derailing into side tales (pillow crushes, anyone?) but always coming back to the love of “just one more watch.”
Takeaway:
If you crave background laughs or film recs that ask zero brainpower, this is your episode. It’s brimming with cult classics, guilty pleasures, and the shared joy of mindless movie marathons.
For More:
Listeners are encouraged to call in or visit thebertshow.com to join the conversation or share their own “mindless favorites.”