The Bert Show: "Vault: Mindless Movies"

Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Cast & Guests: Bert (Host, possibly Birch), Jen, Lucas, Jamie, Kimber, Drew Ski, and various listeners

Main Theme

A laugh-filled discussion on everyone's favorite "mindless movies"—those effortlessly watchable, often nostalgic films you just can't pass by when channel surfing. The hosts and listeners share and debate their top picks, swapping memories, hilarious stories, and iconic movie quotes. It’s a breezy, relatable episode perfect for anyone who loves comfort flicks and a dose of '80s or '90s pop culture.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Genesis: The Host's Mindless Movie Experience

• Host shares a personal story about having "ADD" while working on the show, getting constantly distracted by the TV, and being unable to ignore "Three O'Clock High" when it appeared on-screen (02:04).
  • “Whenever it's on and I'm channel surfing, I absolutely must stop on.” (02:45)
• Theme announced: Host put together a “top ten mindless movies of all time” list.
• Definition emerges: Mindless movies are those that are easy to watch, comforting, and you can’t resist finishing when they’re on.

2. Building the Ultimate List: Picks, Debates, and Hot Takes

Early Favorites & Debate

• "Three O’Clock High" (02:45) - Classic bullied-nerd '80s movie.
• "North Shore" (03:23) – Arizona surfer in Hawaii, not universally embraced.
  • Jen’s rebuttal: “Also definitely not on the all time top 10 list. I’ll have to rebut that one.” (03:39)
• "Better Off Dead" (03:42) – Beloved John Cusack comedy
  • Lucas: “My favorite all times.” (03:47)
  • Host: “If that thing is on TV and you are channel surfing, you are stopping on John Cusack. Is that the one with ‘I want my $2?’” (03:48)
  • Lucas: “Yes, I want my $2!... Then of course, he's got his part time job at the burger place and... fantasy about the Van Halen song...” (03:54)
• "Real Genius" (04:13) – Classic Val Kilmer role.
• "Lucas" (04:24) – Underdog love story with Charlie Sheen; nostalgic debate.
• "10 Things I Hate About You" & "Can't Hardly Wait" (04:40, 05:06) – Expanding into '90s mindless comfort films.
• "Top Secret!" (05:09) – Val Kilmer again; a spoof favorite.
• "The Last Starfighter" (05:35) – Sci-fi kids' adventure.
• "Office Space" (05:50, 06:08) – Endlessly quotable satire of office life.
  • Kimber: “It’s the best quote movie. I mean, it talks about everybody’s life in the office.” (06:08)
• "Hiding Out" (06:24) – Jon Cryer hides in high school after 'Pretty in Pink.'

Listener Calls & Extra Picks

Notable Listener Contributions

• "Revenge of the Nerds" (07:10) – Classic nerd empowerment.
• "Heaven Help Us" (07:21) – Andrew McCarthy & Kevin Dillon in Catholic school.
• "Roller Boogie" & "Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo" (07:47, 08:09) – Roller disco and breakdancing oddities.
• "Clueless" & "Friday" (08:13) – '90s and urban cult classics.
  • Jen: “Friday is a freaking funny movie. And it’s just mindless...” (08:28)
• "Howard the Duck" (08:41) – Universally panned but oddly addictive.
  • Host: “To me, that’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life.” (08:48)
  • Kimber: “I know, but oh my God, do you not watch it every time it’s on, honey?” (08:51)
  • Lucas: “Leah Thompson sleeps with a duck in the movie.” (08:54)
• "Say Anything" (09:10) – Debated: mindless or masterpiece?
  • Host: “Oh, that is not mindless. That is pure gold.” (09:15)

Jamie’s Top 5 (09:42)

5. "Learning to Drive"
6. "Any National Lampoon’s" (esp. original)
7. "Short Circuit"
8. "Can’t Buy Me Love"
9. "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off" – crowned the “undisputed champion”
   • Jamie: “And the number one... Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” (10:26)

• Host: “I will at least watch it all the way up until the parade scene where he sings ‘Danke Schön’. And then I’ll take off.” (10:37)
• Lucas: “I just love when his friend is in bed and he thinks he’s dying...” (10:43)

More Beloved and Ridiculous Picks

• "Footloose" (10:55) – Deemed “cheesy” but comforting.
• "The Boy Who Could Fly" (11:25) – Obscure feel-good film.
• "Weird Science" (11:55) – Ultimate ‘80s adolescent fantasy.
• "The Breakfast Club," "16 Candles," "Pretty in Pink" (12:05-12:25) – John Hughes classics debated: Mindless or not?
  • Lucas: “Anytime that comes on, I am so... I will watch ‘16 Candles’ the whole way.” (12:19)
• Pillow confessions (12:28) – Off-topic but hilarious digression about teenage crushes and pillows.

Final Listener Rounds

• "Raising Arizona" (12:50) – Declared as “classic mindless movie.”
• "My Cousin Vinny" (13:05) – Required watching for many.
  • Lucas: “It’s a great movie. When she’s on the porch and she’s talking about her biological clock and she’s stomping on the porch..." (13:12)
• "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (13:18)
• "Little Shop of Horrors" (13:34)
• "Spaceballs" (13:46) – Declared “totally mindless and stupid” with affection.
  • Host: “Spaceballs. Totally mindless and stupid.” (13:51)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If that thing is on TV and you are channel surfing, you are stopping on John Cusack. Is that the one with ‘I want my $2?’” – Host (03:48)
• “It’s the best quote movie. I mean, it talks about everybody’s life in the office.” – Kimber, on "Office Space" (06:08)
• “Oh my God, do you not watch it every time it’s on, honey?” – Kimber, on “Howard the Duck” (08:51)
• “Oh, that is not mindless. That is pure gold.” – Host, on “Say Anything” (09:15)
• “And the number one... Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” – Jamie (10:26)
• “You remember Weird Science always sucks you in.” – Jen (11:59)
• “Anytime that comes on, I am so... I will watch ‘16 Candles’ the whole way.” – Lucas (12:19)
• “Spaceballs. Totally mindless and stupid.” – Host (13:51)

Timestamps for Importants Segments

• 02:04 – Intro to the “mindless movie” rabbit hole
• 03:23-05:06 – Core cast’s favorites and passionate mini-debates
• 07:10-09:15 – Listener calls, new titles, and friendly disagreements
• 09:42-10:43 – Jamie’s official top 5 countdown, crowned by “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”
• 11:55-12:25 – John Hughes movies and confession tangents
• 12:50-13:55 – Final picks and wrap-up, “Raising Arizona,” “My Cousin Vinny,” “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” “Spaceballs”

Overall Tone and Language

Casual, energetic, and loaded with nostalgia. The hosts and callers reminisce, tease, and compete affectionately for the most gloriously mindless movie pick—sometimes derailing into side tales (pillow crushes, anyone?) but always coming back to the love of “just one more watch.”

Takeaway:
If you crave background laughs or film recs that ask zero brainpower, this is your episode. It’s brimming with cult classics, guilty pleasures, and the shared joy of mindless movie marathons.

For More:
Listeners are encouraged to call in or visit thebertshow.com to join the conversation or share their own “mindless favorites.”