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Jeff
Get that Amex gold cart ready. I'm way too tired to cook tonight.
Wendy
You read my mind. With the gold cart, we can get up to $120 a year in statement credits. Are you feeling the Cheesecake Factory? Five guys. Either of those sound good?
Jeff
Yes.
Wendy
Which one?
Jeff
Both.
Wendy
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Jeff
n the bird show. We gotta get producer Joanna in here. Cause she's already making claims that she can crush this, this Christmas scene better than Jeff can and she doesn't even know what scene he's doing.
Randy
Is she gonna do that for all of us? Is she gonna redo all of our monologues?
Joanna
She knows. Cause here's the deal. I sent it to her. Let me find it. Because she sent it by instant message. I sent her the monologue or the scene or whatever and asked her to print it for me and she said, oh nice. If you want me to do this for you, let me know. I'm an amazing actress.
Randy
That's awesome.
Jessica
I like.
Jeff
It's funny, you know, I was having a conversation with her a couple of days ago because Joanna wants to be in radio and all, you know, so she's gonna be looking for like a full time morning show gig after January 1st. So I said, I'll sure try to help you out with it, but I'll critique her from time to time and she'll send me stuff and I'll say the only thing you gotta watch out here for Joanna is that I think sometimes you turn people Off. Cause you're so confident, you know that? You know, you gotta get along with women and men on the radio. Especially if you're gonna be on a radio station that caters to women.
Joanna
Let me know if you want me to do this for you. I'm an AM actress and she says, really?
Jeff
I don't see myself that way. I'm really not all that confident. So she's not confident in. Her confidence is the only thing she's not confident in.
Monica
I just. I think that. I don't know, I say these things where I'm joking, but everyone takes it as I'm being serious. So I just run with it and I just hope for the best.
Joanna
You know what? I admire that, actually.
Jeff
I just said, you know what? Let them like you before they really get to know you.
Randy
Well, why.
Monica
Why not just let you know from the beginning and you can despise me for the right reasons.
Jeff
I agree. Run with that. Just totally run with that.
Joanna
You know what, actually, now that I keep reading this instant message, she has to say she's a better singer than Jennifer Eisenberg. We get a couple breaks out of her.
Monica
I prove with my Shakira song not too long ago. I'm not sure why you guys are denying that.
Jeff
So what we're gonna do, each one of us this week, we are taking a Christmas scene out of a popular movie and we will try to reenact that scene and we will put these all up online and are we doing a vote on it or at this point, do we even care?
Joanna
I think. I mean, there's gotta be a winner.
Jeff
There's gotta be a loser. It's Christmas, people.
Joanna
I'm hoping that there will be a clear cut winner.
Jeff
It's probably gonna be Joanna.
Joanna
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Jessica
Why are we.
Joanna
Yeah, we're not gonna vote because Joanna already won.
Jeff
Why are we even doing it?
Joanna
But we will.
Monica
I think you'll have a runner up. You're saying I'm the winner?
Jeff
At this point, we're all going for honorable mention.
Joanna
If Joanna wants to go today, you could just do it as a head to head thing. And then y' all can decide who did it better, Joanna or I. And then that's today's winner. And then you could just do two a day and there's a head to head competition and we'll have a finals
Jeff
and Joanna has to do one every day. Everyone that we knew, Joanna. That's the way I like it. All right, so the scene, Jeff, that you're doing and Joanna, that you're going to be doing is.
Joanna
Why don't you explain it, Joanna?
Monica
It's a scene from It's a Wonderful Life, right?
Joanna
Which scene is it?
Monica
Where he's talking to Mr. Potter.
Joanna
And when did you find this scene?
Monica
When you emailed it to me.
Jessica
Okay.
Jeff
Have you ever seen the movie?
Monica
No.
Jeff
But you are sure you can crush Jeff in it?
Monica
Yeah.
Joanna
Should we actually have her go before you even play it? Cause you have the audio of the scene, how it's supposed to sound, right?
Jeff
So you say Joanna, then play the scene, then you.
Joanna
Then I'll go. Yeah.
Monica
Oh, wow. I didn't know. Let me take off my sweater. It's gonna. Stretching.
Jeff
Yeah.
Joanna
Just so you know, Joanna, that stretching is not gonna help you. It's radio, honey.
Jeff
Actually, it did with me. You won?
Hayden
That's awesome.
Joanna
There's your script.
Hayden
Oh, she's going first?
Joanna
Yeah.
Hayden
Oh, I thought you were.
Joanna
She said she's got it. Didn't even need to hear it.
Monica
I need to prep. Come on, every good actor needs to prep. I need to get some inspiration. So you need to hear the scene?
Jeff
Yeah, I think that's fair. Okay.
Jimmy Stewart (Character Reading)
You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap Penny Annie building alone, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character. Because his whole life was. Why, in the 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save enough money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter. And what's wrong with that? Here, you're all businessmen here. Don't make them better citizens. Doesn't make them better customers. You said that. What'd you say just a minute ago? They had to wait and save their money before they even thought of a decent home.
Jessica
Wait? Wait for what?
Jimmy Stewart (Character Reading)
Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down that you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, their cattle? Well, in my book, he died a much Richer man than you'll ever be.
Jeff
All right, that's your scene right there.
Joanna
Is it just me, or did that. Did that feel like it was 45 minutes long?
Jeff
It was 60 seconds.
Joanna
It didn't feel like that to me.
Jeff
It was a really long clip. Now, Jeff, I think you should go first.
Joanna
All right, good.
Jeff
And then we'll save the finale for Joanna.
Joanna
I like that because I just heard it. It's fresher in my head.
Randy
All right, Jimmy Dollar, you think the minute.
Joanna
Jimmy Dollar.
Jeff
Yeah, I have. Again, I have never seen this movie from beginning to end.
Randy
Oh, my God. Oh, this is a. Am I the only one in the room that has seen this movie?
Joanna
No, I saw it.
Randy
It is wonderful.
Jeff
Like, you'll sit down with your family and watch it from beginning to end.
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Randy
This is a fantastic movie. Sometimes older movies are far better than the ones now.
Hayden
I usually turn on that tcm that Turner Classic Movies and put that in the background when I'm wrapping gifts, but I never know which one.
Joanna
Just to get you in the mood, I, for the longest time got.
Jessica
What's the movie you want to do, Wendy? America on 34th Street.
Joanna
I always got those two and Wonderful Life confused for years. But Bert, let me set the scene for you.
Jeff
Okay.
Joanna
All right. Mr. Potter is. He runs the big bank in town, and Jimmy Stewart's character runs the little savings and loan, you know, so he's like, for the common folk. And Potter's like the big corporate. He's corporate America, right?
Jeff
Yeah.
Joanna
So now this is Jimmy Stewart in the boardroom with all of the board members of Potter's bank. And he's trying to convince Potter to stop being, you know, a shady, big corporate America guy. He is just one of the people, right? Yeah, I thought of that, too.
Jeff
Did you connect with this store?
Joanna
Yeah.
Jeff
It's weird how you picked this one out.
Jimmy Stewart (Character Reading)
Shocking.
Joanna
Yeah. You know, that came to me this morning, actually. I kind of laughed at myself. I should have gone with Lampoon.
Monica
Christmas vacation.
Joanna
We'll give this one a shot.
Jeff
I think you'll definitely have more heart behind this one than you would the National Lampoon one.
Jessica
So are you nervous?
Hayden
Cause you look like a little boy right now. You have, like, that little.
Joanna
I am. I. Seriously, I was just doing crap yesterday and totally forgot about this. And then 9 o' clock last night and then sat in my office and I started. I was like, by myself. And I said, you're right when you say my father was no businessman. And Jessica's like, who are you talking to? And I shut the Door. And I'm trying to enunciate, and she's like, what?
Jessica
I can't hear you.
Jeff
Once Jen and I found out that it was a competition, we both hired a acting coach that's been coming by.
Hayden
I picked up my Stanislavski book again.
Joanna
I should have called Hayden.
Jeff
Yeah, he knocked us out.
Joanna
Can you work me through this?
Jeff
You were stalling.
Randy
You're stalling.
Joanna
Sorry.
Jessica
It's Bird.
Joanna
Here's the scene I've just stood up in the boardroom. You guys are all the board members, right?
Hayden
And scene.
Jessica
You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap Penny Annie Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can
Joanna
say anything against his character.
Jessica
Because his whole life was. Why, in the 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save enough to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter. And what's Potter and what's wrong with that? Why, here, you're all businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You said. What'd you just say a minute ago? They had to wait and save their money even before they ought to think of a decent home. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down that you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Is it too much to have them work and play and live and die in a couple of decent rooms in a bath? Well, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him, but to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. And in my book, he died a
Joanna
much richer man than you'll ever be.
Jeff
Oh, he crushed that. Oh, Joanna.
Randy
Good job.
Jeff
Oh, Joanna, are you sure you wanna go? He crushed that.
Monica
He did a great job.
Jeff
You sure you wanna try that?
Monica
I mean.
Jeff
Yeah, he crushed it.
Hayden
I don't know, Joanna, don't you?
Jeff
I really think he did a really, really good job.
Hayden
Yes, I was in the boardroom, man. I was in there.
Joanna
I was actually thinking of Mr. LaRose, who was my drama coach in high school. And right out of high school, as
Jeff
soon as you started speaking, everything in the room became Black and white to me. There was no color left. It was an all black and white.
Joanna
I did feel an odd compulsion to do the Jimmy Stewart kind of accent. Like her little Sean Connery though, right there.
Jeff
Is that what you were gonna go with? Joanna? You gonna try that?
Monica
I wasn't gonna do an accent. I like to stick with what I know, which is my normal accent.
Jeff
Good luck with this.
Monica
Oh, so you do want me to do this?
Randy
I was really hoping you had to
Jeff
find how much stronger I did.
Randy
Joanna, I'm just joking.
Jeff
You can't come on that strong and then back out.
Hayden
We want you to do it, though.
Jeff
That'd be fun.
Joanna
Then she could just make stuff up and we'll go. That's great.
Monica
Exactly. Okay.
Randy
Ready?
Jeff
It's already uncomfortable, isn't it?
Randy
It is.
Monica
Can you see my heart beating from my chest?
Joanna
You're sweating.
Jeff
Shh.
Monica
Okay. You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap penny ain't Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anyone else can say anything against his character. Because his whole life was. Why in 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of the slums, Mr. Potter. And what's wrong with that? Why? Why? Here are all businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You. You said what? Say, just a minute ago, they had to wait and save their money before they ever thought of a decent home.
Wendy
Wait?
Monica
Wait for what? Until their children are grown and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down they say. Don't you know how long it takes for a working man to make $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this ramble you're talking about. They do most of the work and paying in this living and dying in this community while it's too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath. Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. Don't you? A warped, frustrated old man. They're cattle. Well, in my book, he died a much richer man than you'll ever be, Joanne.
Hayden
Great job, Joanne.
Jeff
Great job for just getting the script. It was good. I felt like you lost interest at about the 45 second mark.
Monica
I was just so nervous. I kept losing Where I was for
Jeff
just getting the script, though. Pretty damn good.
Hayden
It was good.
Monica
Let me practice it and I'll come back to you.
Joanna
All right. Every day, Joanna's gonna take someone on. Just get her your script ahead of time.
Randy
No, not ahead of time. It's gotta be right ahead.
Monica
Yes.
Jeff
Hey, Randy.
Joanna
Good Morning.
Jeff
You're on Q100.
Caller Jeffrey
Good morning, Jeffrey. Shot that one right out of the studio. You can always go acting. I hate to say it, but Joanna, even though you're a female and I want to vote for you, I gotta vote for Jeff.
Joanna
Sorry about that.
Jeff
Joanne. Good morning. Monica, you're on Q100. Hi. I gotta say, neither of you brought it. I'm sorry.
Randy
She votes for Jimmy Stewart.
Jeff
You just weren't feeling it all right around the room. Wendy, who won competition round one.
Randy
Oh, we're not supposed to vote.
Jeff
Yeah.
Randy
Yeah.
Hayden
Because I want to win.
Jessica
I guess I guarantee them to you. I'm gonna tell you who's better than the other one, so you all better cough it up.
Jeff
Jeff, you got my vote.
Joanna
Thank you.
Hayden
Yeah, Jeff, you got my vote today.
Randy
Yeah, Jeff.
Monica
Jeff.
Jessica
I'm going to Hollywood.
Joanna
Get it.
Jeff
The bird show.
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Episode: Vault: Movie Act Off: It's a Wonderful Life
Date: May 28, 2026
In this lively and comedic segment, The Bert Show cast kicks off their "Movie Act Off" holiday competition, where each member reenacts a famous Christmas movie scene. For this round, the focus is on a dramatic scene from the classic film It's a Wonderful Life, specifically the confrontation between George Bailey and Mr. Potter. Jeff and Joanna face off in a spirited head-to-head performance, engaging the rest of the cast in playful banter and critique as they strive for the show's acting crown.
"Let me know if you want me to do this for you. I'm an amazing actress." —Joanna (01:42)
"Mr. Potter is... the big bank in town, and Jimmy Stewart's character runs the little savings and loan, you know, so he's like, for the common folk. And Potter's like the big corporate... He's corporate America, right?" —Joanna (07:18)
"You can't come on that strong and then back out." —Jeff (10:57)
Audio of the original scene is played for inspiration (05:14–06:21).
"As soon as you started speaking, everything in the room became black and white to me. There was no color left. It was all black and white." —Jeff (10:32)
"He did a great job." —Monica (10:12)
"I was in the boardroom, man. I was in there." —Hayden (10:22)
"Great job for just getting the script. It was good." —Jeff (12:32)
"I was just so nervous. I kept losing where I was." —Monica (12:37)
"I gotta say, neither of you brought it. I'm sorry." —Caller Monica (13:08)
"Jeff, you got my vote." —Joanna (13:36)
"I'm going to Hollywood." —Jessica (13:41)
This episode showcases The Bert Show’s hallmark mix of wit, camaraderie, and audience interaction as the team embarks on a holiday-themed acting showdown. Jeff emerges as the winner of the day, but the real highlight is the authenticity, laughter, and community spirit as the cast supports (and roasts) each other in their attempts to channel some classic Hollywood magic.