The Bert Show: Vault — One Junior Listener Gives Teens Some Good Advice

Podcast Host: Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Episode Date: January 30, 2026
Episode Theme: A 12-year-old listener, Annie, offers blunt, no-nonsense advice to fellow teens and preteens calling in with their everyday struggles.

Episode Overview

In this unique "Vault" episode of The Bert Show, the hosts spotlight Annie, a confident 12-year-old listener, inviting her to dish out tough-love advice to other young callers. Annie’s candid and relatable responses spark laughter and reflection among the hosts, young callers, and even the parents who join in. Through a series of heartfelt and sometimes humorous conversations, the show reveals the universality of adolescent dilemmas and how surprisingly sage advice can come from even the youngest voices.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Annie’s Background & Blunt Advice Style

• The episode opens with the recap of Annie’s memorable first call, where she told an adult listener to stop taking things personally when friends keep secrets.
  • Quote [00:23] Annie: “Like, she doesn’t have to tell you. It’s really none of your business anyway.”
• The hosts are struck by Annie's mature, unfiltered confidence, leading them to feature her as a recurring “tough-love” advice-giver for young listeners.

2. Teens' Real-Life Problems, Annie’s Tough-Love Solutions

A. Parents Fighting & Fear of Divorce

Caller: Allie, 13
Problem: Her parents, Andrea and David, have been fighting for a long time—she’s worried about them divorcing.
Annie’s Advice:

• Annie emphasizes not taking responsibility for parents’ unhappiness, suggesting separation may be healthier if the parents aren’t happy together.
  • Quote [02:27] Annie: “Yeah, that must really suck. But your parents, like, if they're not like happy together, then like, you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated... they’ll both be happier and you won’t have to hear them fighting all the time.”
• The hosts reflect on how kids are more aware than parents realize—fighting impacts them regardless of intent.
  • Host [03:42]: “You kids are picking up on it.”

B. Dealing with a Mean Teacher

Caller: Alexa
Problem: Her science teacher is harsh, sometimes losing assignments even when Alexa maintains a 97 average.
Annie’s Advice:

• Keep responses simple and don’t accuse the teacher directly; keep copies of assignments as backup.
  • Quote [04:39] Annie: “If your teacher is just like, ‘oh, you’re not doing anything,’ just be like, ‘yeah.’ And then they don’t know what to say.”
  • Quote [06:03] Annie: “Teachers don’t like to hear that they lost stuff... don’t ever say that the teacher lost it because they’ll get mad.”
• Hosts chime in with practical adult suggestions about backing up work and advocate for Annie’s approach to avoid confrontation.

C. Managing Overbearing Friendships

Caller: Raven, 14
Problem: A girl at school claims to be Raven’s best friend, but Raven doesn’t feel as close. It’s awkward, but she can’t just stop greeting people. Annie’s Advice:

• Set subtle boundaries—acknowledge the person only when necessary, limit engagement.
  • Quote [07:46] Annie: “If she calls you by the nickname, just don’t even acknowledge her. And then she says your real name, turn around and say, ‘hey.’”
• Raven’s mom jumps on the line, humorously pointing out that she gives advice for free, but the hosts joke that teens often ignore parental guidance.
  • Raven’s Mom [08:44]: “These teenagers are lost. They frack a knackle mind.”

D. Rumors at School

Caller: Randy, 15
Problem: There are rumors circulating at school that he picks his nose and wets the bed. Annie’s Advice:

• Annie finds the rumors unimpressive and turns the focus on the kids spreading them.
  • Quote [09:57] Annie: “Are kids at your school lame? ... If you’re gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don’t start a lame one.”
• The hosts support Annie, joking about rumor quality.

E. "Copycat" Friends

Caller: Tiana
Problem: A new friend constantly imitates her interests (singing, piano), which feels invasive. Annie’s Advice:

• Be direct; if it bothers you, confront her about copying, or ask whether she can come up with her own interests.
  • Quote [11:55] Annie: “That gets, like, really annoying... I guess you could just be like, like, why are you copying me? Like, can you not come up with your own ideas?”
• The hosts observe that these dynamics don’t change with age—it’s a universal, lifelong struggle.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [00:23] Annie: “She doesn’t have to tell you. It’s really none of your business anyway.”
• [02:27] Annie: “If they're not happy together, then you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated.”
• [07:46] Annie: “If she calls you by the nickname, just don’t even acknowledge her. And then [when] she says your real name, turn around and say, ‘hey.’”
• [09:57] Annie: “Are kids at your school lame?... If you’re gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don’t start a lame one.”
• [12:06] Annie: “Why are you copying me? Can you not come up with your own ideas that you have to steal mine?”
• [13:19] Jordan (18): “I just think the fact that you are so confident to get out here and help other kids is awesome... Gosh, I would never have had the confidence to do that at 12 years old.”

Highlights & Timestamps

• 00:23: Annie lays down her signature tough-love about friendship boundaries.
• 02:27–03:01: Annie gives honest, empathetic advice on divorce, impressing hosts.
• 04:39–05:11: Annie offers cheeky strategies for dealing with difficult teachers and keeping grades protected.
• 07:46–08:12: Annie’s practical advice for managing friendships, with help from a humorous parent cameo.
• 09:57–10:12: Annie calls out childish rumor-mongering at school.
• 11:55–12:06: Direct confrontation about copycat friends.
• 13:19–13:47: Annie receives praise from an 18-year-old caller for her bravery and confidence.

The Hosts’ Reflections & Closing Thoughts

• The adult perspective is woven throughout, often marveling at how teen problems mirror adult experiences.
• The Bert Show team repeatedly notes Annie’s composure and insight, often contrasting it with both adult and peer reactions.
  • Host [13:56]: “I like that. Ask Annie. She got it together, man, to come on the radio like that.”
  • Host [14:02]: “At 12 years old. She got us together.”
• Listeners and hosts alike are encouraged by Annie's directness and wish for her return.

Summary

This episode offers a refreshing, humorous, and heartwarming look at teen life through the eyes of Annie—a poised 12-year-old whose sincere and assertive advice resonates well beyond her age. Whether the problem is parents’ fights, tricky teachers, or sticky friendship situations, Annie's straightforward approach both entertains and enlightens listeners of all ages. The episode drives home the point that sometimes, the best advice comes from someone who truly “gets it”—no matter how young.

For more real, funny, and relatable moments, tune in daily to The Bert Show.