Vault: One Junior Listener Gives Teens Some Good Advice

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault — One Junior Listener Gives Teens Some Good Advice

Podcast Host: Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Episode Date: January 30, 2026
Episode Theme: A 12-year-old listener, Annie, offers blunt, no-nonsense advice to fellow teens and preteens calling in with their everyday struggles.

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Episode Overview

In this unique "Vault" episode of The Bert Show, the hosts spotlight Annie, a confident 12-year-old listener, inviting her to dish out tough-love advice to other young callers. Annie’s candid and relatable responses spark laughter and reflection among the hosts, young callers, and even the parents who join in. Through a series of heartfelt and sometimes humorous conversations, the show reveals the universality of adolescent dilemmas and how surprisingly sage advice can come from even the youngest voices.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Annie’s Background & Blunt Advice Style

• The episode opens with the recap of Annie’s memorable first call, where she told an adult listener to stop taking things personally when friends keep secrets.
  • Quote [00:23] Annie: “Like, she doesn’t have to tell you. It’s really none of your business anyway.”
• The hosts are struck by Annie's mature, unfiltered confidence, leading them to feature her as a recurring “tough-love” advice-giver for young listeners.

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2. Teens' Real-Life Problems, Annie’s Tough-Love Solutions

A. Parents Fighting & Fear of Divorce

Caller: Allie, 13
Problem: Her parents, Andrea and David, have been fighting for a long time—she’s worried about them divorcing.
Annie’s Advice:

• Annie emphasizes not taking responsibility for parents’ unhappiness, suggesting separation may be healthier if the parents aren’t happy together.
  • Quote [02:27] Annie: “Yeah, that must really suck. But your parents, like, if they're not like happy together, then like, you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated... they’ll both be happier and you won’t have to hear them fighting all the time.”
• The hosts reflect on how kids are more aware than parents realize—fighting impacts them regardless of intent.
  • Host [03:42]: “You kids are picking up on it.”

B. Dealing with a Mean Teacher

Caller: Alexa
Problem: Her science teacher is harsh, sometimes losing assignments even when Alexa maintains a 97 average.
Annie’s Advice:

• Keep responses simple and don’t accuse the teacher directly; keep copies of assignments as backup.
  • Quote [04:39] Annie: “If your teacher is just like, ‘oh, you’re not doing anything,’ just be like, ‘yeah.’ And then they don’t know what to say.”
  • Quote [06:03] Annie: “Teachers don’t like to hear that they lost stuff... don’t ever say that the teacher lost it because they’ll get mad.”
• Hosts chime in with practical adult suggestions about backing up work and advocate for Annie’s approach to avoid confrontation.

C. Managing Overbearing Friendships

Caller: Raven, 14
Problem: A girl at school claims to be Raven’s best friend, but Raven doesn’t feel as close. It’s awkward, but she can’t just stop greeting people. Annie’s Advice:

• Set subtle boundaries—acknowledge the person only when necessary, limit engagement.
  • Quote [07:46] Annie: “If she calls you by the nickname, just don’t even acknowledge her. And then she says your real name, turn around and say, ‘hey.’”
• Raven’s mom jumps on the line, humorously pointing out that she gives advice for free, but the hosts joke that teens often ignore parental guidance.
  • Raven’s Mom [08:44]: “These teenagers are lost. They frack a knackle mind.”

D. Rumors at School

Caller: Randy, 15
Problem: There are rumors circulating at school that he picks his nose and wets the bed. Annie’s Advice:

• Annie finds the rumors unimpressive and turns the focus on the kids spreading them.
  • Quote [09:57] Annie: “Are kids at your school lame? ... If you’re gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don’t start a lame one.”
• The hosts support Annie, joking about rumor quality.

E. "Copycat" Friends

Caller: Tiana
Problem: A new friend constantly imitates her interests (singing, piano), which feels invasive. Annie’s Advice:

• Be direct; if it bothers you, confront her about copying, or ask whether she can come up with her own interests.
  • Quote [11:55] Annie: “That gets, like, really annoying... I guess you could just be like, like, why are you copying me? Like, can you not come up with your own ideas?”
• The hosts observe that these dynamics don’t change with age—it’s a universal, lifelong struggle.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [00:23] Annie: “She doesn’t have to tell you. It’s really none of your business anyway.”
• [02:27] Annie: “If they're not happy together, then you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated.”
• [07:46] Annie: “If she calls you by the nickname, just don’t even acknowledge her. And then [when] she says your real name, turn around and say, ‘hey.’”
• [09:57] Annie: “Are kids at your school lame?... If you’re gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don’t start a lame one.”
• [12:06] Annie: “Why are you copying me? Can you not come up with your own ideas that you have to steal mine?”
• [13:19] Jordan (18): “I just think the fact that you are so confident to get out here and help other kids is awesome... Gosh, I would never have had the confidence to do that at 12 years old.”

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Highlights & Timestamps

• 00:23: Annie lays down her signature tough-love about friendship boundaries.
• 02:27–03:01: Annie gives honest, empathetic advice on divorce, impressing hosts.
• 04:39–05:11: Annie offers cheeky strategies for dealing with difficult teachers and keeping grades protected.
• 07:46–08:12: Annie’s practical advice for managing friendships, with help from a humorous parent cameo.
• 09:57–10:12: Annie calls out childish rumor-mongering at school.
• 11:55–12:06: Direct confrontation about copycat friends.
• 13:19–13:47: Annie receives praise from an 18-year-old caller for her bravery and confidence.

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The Hosts’ Reflections & Closing Thoughts

• The adult perspective is woven throughout, often marveling at how teen problems mirror adult experiences.
• The Bert Show team repeatedly notes Annie’s composure and insight, often contrasting it with both adult and peer reactions.
  • Host [13:56]: “I like that. Ask Annie. She got it together, man, to come on the radio like that.”
  • Host [14:02]: “At 12 years old. She got us together.”
• Listeners and hosts alike are encouraged by Annie's directness and wish for her return.

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Summary

This episode offers a refreshing, humorous, and heartwarming look at teen life through the eyes of Annie—a poised 12-year-old whose sincere and assertive advice resonates well beyond her age. Whether the problem is parents’ fights, tricky teachers, or sticky friendship situations, Annie's straightforward approach both entertains and enlightens listeners of all ages. The episode drives home the point that sometimes, the best advice comes from someone who truly “gets it”—no matter how young.

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For more real, funny, and relatable moments, tune in daily to The Bert Show.

Transcript

[A]

Listen, it's the Virt show, all right? You remember last week we had Annie on, I think, a virtual listener, an adult was calling up and she was having a tough time because she thought that her best friend. There was some really serious personal stuff going on in her best friend's life and her best friend wasn't confiding in her. And this 12 year old calls up and goes, just get over yourself already. 12 years old. Morning, Annie. You're on the Burt Show. Q100.

[B]

Hi. I just wanted to say that, like, she doesn't have to tell you. It's really none of your business anyway.

[C]

Hey, Annie, how old are you?

[B]

I am 12.

[A]

Does she need her opinion's any less valid?

[D]

No, your opinion was just as valid.

[B]

We were just curious.

[A]

Like, Annie, how would you handle this situation if you would.

[B]

It happens to me like all the time. I really don't care. They don't have to tell me.

[A]

So like, if your best friend had a secret and she was telling other people and not you, you wouldn't be offended by that?

[B]

Not really.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like she doesn't have to tell me. Like if she wants to tell me, then she'll tell me, but I'm gonna find out anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

[A]

Alright, So I wanted to try something new this morning. Normally what we'll do is if you're an adult, we'd have and have the 12 year old give you advice. What I'd like to do now is because I'm really interested to find out, like, what's stressing out people under the age of 15.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

So you guys call us up and Annie will give you do the best she can to give you some straight tough love advice because she obviously has that kind of confidence, right? 404741. Q100. Good morning, Annie. Hey, how are you today?

[B]

Good, how are you?

[A]

I'm good. Now, Annie, are you the girl, like in your group that generally just you say what's on your mind and people come to you for advice?

[B]

Um, I think so.

[E]

I hope so.

[A]

You sure seem like you got it together.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

Most of the time.

[D]

Ask me a question, I'll answer it.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Do you have your radio turned all the way down?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, perfect.

[A]

All right, I'm gonna put you on with Allie first. She's got the first question for you. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Allie.

[B]

Hmm?

[A]

Hey, how old are you?

[B]

Thirteen.

[A]

Thirteen. All right, Allie, why don't you tell Annie what's bothering you right now. We'll see if Annie can give you some tough love advice. Okay?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right, go ahead.

[B]

Well, my parents names are Andrea and David Smith. And they have been fighting for the most longest time that I can imagine.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And my parents, I don't want them to get a divorce because most of my friends parents are divorced or getting divorced.

[A]

I'm sorry, that's gotta stress you out. Boy, that's a heavy one to start with right there, Annie.

[B]

Yeah, that must really suck. But your parents, like, if they're not like happy together, then like, you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated. Because if they get separated, they obviously like aren't like happy together.

[A]

That's really good advice right there. So she's saying rather than, you know, like, you're getting all stressed out, your parents fighting, but maybe in the long run, Is that what you're saying, Annie? That it might be better that they.

[B]

Just separate and then if they get divorced, like, they'll both be happier and you won't have to hear like them fighting all the time.

[A]

That help at all there, Allie?

[B]

Uh huh. Thank you.

[A]

Okay. Thank you for calling.

[D]

Good luck. I'm sorry.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Bye bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Now, for some of you adults that.

[C]

Call up, you know, mom or dad's gonna have a really weird conversation with her in a couple hours.

[A]

That one's gonna be tough.

[C]

Did you call Q100?

[A]

No, it wasn't me.

[D]

I was trying to get y' all not to laugh though. Cause it's our parents.

[C]

I'm very serious.

[A]

But yeah, just when she called the names out was the only thing that I thought was funny about it. But for you parents, there's something to learn here too. Because how many times have we taken calls from virtual listeners that are parents that are staying together just for the kids and they're miserable in their relationship and they just keep saying, you know what, so long as we can keep the family together, we'll be all right. You kids are picking up on it.

[D]

Yeah. I don't understand why adults never think this child knows what's going on. They certainly know what's going on regardless. They don't even have to be 13, younger than 13. But you really have to look at the environment that you're creating for your kids. And if you're fighting all the time, then is it really worth it?

[A]

Annie, that was a tough first one. I think you did really well.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I was like scared because I didn't know what to say, because that's a sensitive subject.

[A]

Yeah, it's a tough one right There. Annie, where do you go to school?

[B]

Lovinggood.

[A]

Okay. Good morning, Alexa. You're on Q100.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. You have a question for Annie?

[B]

Yeah. Well, I have a teacher in science that absolutely hates me, and I have, like, a 97 in her class.

[F]

And.

[B]

She'Ll, like, embarrass me in front of my friends, and I do, like, most of a project, and she'll say, I'm not doing anything. Oh, my goodness. I have, like, a million of those teachers. Okay, so if your teacher is just like, oh, you're not doing anything, just be like, yeah. Just say, yeah. And then they don't know what to say. Just be like, yeah. Just be like, I do stuff.

[A]

But, you know, because Alexa, she's giving you the good grades that you deserve, right?

[B]

Well, because she'll lose some of my projects, and I'll turn them in, and I'll even make copies of them and turn them in, but she won't accept them late, and I'll already have turned them in. So what's your deal?

[A]

Say that one more time, Annie.

[B]

Just be like, I turned it in. So it's the problem, because I really need a good grade in her class.

[C]

Well, you have a 97, right?

[B]

Yeah, but every time I turn something in, it'll get lost or missing, and I'll get a zero on it, and it'll pull my grade down.

[C]

Well, it's not pulling it down that bad. Like, 97's okay, and the year's, like.

[B]

Almost over, so you just gotta stick it out till the year's over and just tell people. Just, you know, to be aware of her meanness. Okay. For next year.

[A]

All right, Alexa, good luck.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Now, as the adult, I'm interpreting that like, you know what? You may be getting a tough time about it, but you're still getting a 97, so stop griping.

[D]

And the first thing I thought about is, like, make copies of all your assignments and have a copy back up so that you can prove that you turned it in.

[A]

But that's probably a great suggestion.

[D]

Yeah. Because if you're. I mean, if she's getting zeros and it's 97, then, I mean, it could by the. By the end of May or whenever, you know, that school gets out. I mean, it could drop her grade down, so I'd make copies.

[B]

Yeah. And teachers don't like to hear that they lost stuff. So, like, if you turn something in and they lose it, and you're like, well, turned it in, you lost it. They don't like to hear that. So don't ever say that the teacher lost it because they'll get mad.

[A]

So just put it on yourself is what you're saying.

[B]

Well, don't put it on yourself, but just be like, oh, I don't know what happened to it because I turned it in. Don't ever say that they lost it.

[A]

I see what you're saying. Don't directly, like, put them on defense.

[B]

Yeah, I gotcha.

[A]

Hey, Raven, how old are you?

[B]

14.

[A]

You're 14?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I have a question. I changed my question. I have this friend, like at my school. I'm kind of. I'm cool with a lot of people. I'm just, you know, a general nice person. At least I like. And there's this girl, she swears she's like my best friend ever. And we really not that close. We were kind of close last year because we had a mutual friend, but now it's just like, hey, how you doing? What's up? Nothing. It's not really. Oh my God, you have to turn the radio down. I'm trying to tell my momma to turn the radio down.

[A]

My mom.

[B]

What can I do?

[F]

Because I don't want to just like totally blow her off. Be like, oh my God, I really don't like you. But then, I mean, she's not that bad.

[B]

Well, you don't have to be friends with her. Like, if you don't want to be friends with her, just stop saying hi. You could've asked me that question.

[F]

No, I couldn't have.

[B]

Okay?

[F]

And, but see, my thing is I can't just like stop saying hi to people because all the people in my school will tell you. Because it's only like 240 of us. All the people in my school will tell you. It's just my thing to just like know everybody by name and say hi and good morning. Yeah, but she just wanted to make it this big, long, drawn out thing. She got a nickname for me and she asked me about all these questions. She wanted to be in on all of my inside jokes. And I'm just like, it's not working like that. Like, what is the problem?

[B]

Well, like if she. Okay, so like you're walking down the hall and she goes, hey. And she calls you by the nickname. Just don't even acknowledge her. And then she says your real name and turn around and say, hey.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Cause like if you like. And really, like, if she tries to be in your inside jokes and she's like, oh, yeah, who is this? Or like she walks up and you're talking about somebody. And she goes, oh, who are we talking about? Just be like, nobody and change the subject. Okay.

[F]

That was great.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

I love the verse.

[C]

Hold on a minute. What's your mom yelling about?

[B]

Give me this phone. She's not yelling. Give me the phone. Oh, mama.

[A]

Here comes mama.

[D]

Hey, Mama.

[E]

Good morning.

[B]

I am riding in this car. That child could have asked me that for free and not use my cell phone. I'm a force you can. She's gonna take the advice of another teenager. And I've got 44 years of experience.

[A]

See, you know how it is, though. No one wants to listen to mom or dad. You guys don't know anything.

[B]

These teenagers are lost. They frack a knackle mind.

[C]

What advice would you have given her?

[B]

I would have told her to speak and keep it moving. Don't stand and hold the conversation and speak. Hey, how you doing? Keep it moving. It takes five seconds to say good morning. That wasn't even five seconds. That was one good morning. Two seconds.

[A]

That's pretty much exactly what Andy said right there.

[D]

You know what? But parents are out of touch.

[A]

Yeah, man, you haven't had to go through that in a long time. That's why Annie's on top of it.

[C]

And just so you know, we've moved on from when you got your cell phone. It's no longer a quarter a minute.

[A]

Good morning, Randy.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

Hey, how old are you?

[G]

I'm 15.

[A]

15. All right. What do you got for Annie?

[G]

I just have a lot of rumors going around about me at school. Just saying that I picked my nose and I wet my bed. Stuff like that.

[A]

Do you?

[G]

Sometimes.

[A]

Well, then they're not rumors, are they?

[G]

But I don't want people knowing about it.

[A]

You're just jacking with us, right?

[G]

Say what?

[A]

You're just jacking with us. You don't have any rumors at school, do you?

[G]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

Seriously?

[G]

About wetting your bed and picking my nose?

[A]

All right, Annie, how are you gonna handle that one?

[B]

Are kids at your school lame? Because I feel like they are. Who starts a rumor that you pick your nose and wet your bed? Who are these kids?

[G]

I don't know.

[B]

That's a lame rumor. If you're gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don't start a lame one.

[A]

I think that's solid advice.

[C]

So the problem isn't with you. It's with the losers at your school. The best they can come up with is you pick your nose.

[A]

Good morning, Tiana. You're on with Annie.

[E]

Hey, Annie. How you doing? I'm really happy that we have somebody younger who understands. Anyway, I have a group of friends because I don't like to have too many friends. So there's like, four or five of us, and we're really close. But then there's this one girl who just seems to, like, be jealous of, like, our group because she just came in and, like, it's like, every time we go to do something, she does it. I don't know if it's to fit in. Like, when I learned how to play the piano, she started to learn. When I start singing, because I like to sing, she started singing, and it's just like, really, I don't know what. And her friendship means everything to me, but I just don't know.

[B]

Well, like, obviously, if she's copying you, she wants to be in your group, and she wants to be your friend. Is she, like, mean or, like, is there a problem that y' all had that's, like, you don't like her, she doesn't like you, or.

[E]

We've always been cool since, like, the sixth grade. We was always cool, but we just really got entwined to each other.

[B]

Like, you kind of, like, started to butt heads on some things.

[E]

No, we just kind of, you know, started hanging out more because we got closer.

[B]

And then she started to, like, copy you.

[E]

Yeah, she just started doing everything I'm doing, and then it's just like, I can understand if you want to learn. I could teach you, but it's like, I sing, and then that's something that's close to me. And then she goes and do it, and I'm like, you don't even like singing as much as I do.

[B]

Yeah, that gets, like, really annoying. And, like, I don't know. I guess you could just be like, like, why are you copying me? Like, can you not come up with your own ideas that you have to steal mine?

[E]

Like, yeah, I've talked to her about it because, you know, I'm really opinionated, so I'm like, you know, could you just please just, you know, stop? Cause, you know, this is something that's close to me, not you, So I don't know what the problem is, but, you know, she doesn't stop. It's ridiculous.

[A]

You know, we take. You know what it makes me realize is that we take the exact same calls for adults that we do for kids.

[D]

Right?

[A]

I mean, this is a call that we took not too long ago from one roommate saying the same thing about the other roommate. They were, like, 24 years old. The exact same thing.

[B]

Remember?

[C]

We had that grown up.

[B]

I can't understand it with kids, but with grownups, that's just being whiny. Like, for real. You're a grownup. Handle it, Andy.

[A]

It never changes. I still don't believe anybody ever really evolves past the ninth grade. I swear I do. I really look at Paris Hilton. You're way more mature than Paris Hilton is.

[C]

And I remember once I got mad at Burt, so I told everybody he picks his nose and wets the bed.

[D]

But he knows.

[C]

Now I'm embarrassed to find out. That was a lame rumor.

[B]

It is a lame rumor. Like, who starts that rumor? That's stupid. Like, start a rumor that he made out with this girl or something. Don't say that he wets the bed and picks his nose.

[C]

Nobody would believe that Burt made out with a girl.

[A]

Hey, Jordan, real quick. You're on with Annie.

[B]

Hey. Yeah, Annie, I just wanted to tell you, first off, I'm 18, and I just think the fact that you are so confident to get out here and help other kids is awesome. Oh, thank you. I mean, I really do like you. Wow. I mean, you're 12 years old. That's. Yeah. Gosh, I would never have had the confidence to do that at 12 years old. That's awesome.

[A]

Annie, I think you did a great job for your very first time on the radio. I think you did a really, really, really, really great job.

[B]

Thanks, guys.

[A]

Thanks for coming on with us. Will you do it again with us in a couple of weeks?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

All right, Annie, we'll talk to you in a couple of weeks. Thank you for joining us.

[B]

All right, guys.

[A]

Bye. Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

I like that. Ask Annie. She got it together, man, to come on the radio like that.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

At 12 years old. She got us together.

[C]

Listen, it's the Bird Show.