Summary4 min read

The Bert Show: Vault - One Man's Burger King Order Turned Into a Police Matter

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Overview of the Episode

In this episode of The Bert Show, the crew dives into a wild 911 call from a man in Boynton Beach, Florida, who called emergency services after a less-than-ideal drive-thru experience at Burger King. The cast uses the moment to launch into a broader, often hilarious, discussion about inappropriate 911 calls—from missing lemonade to "overdosing" on brownies, and even calls reporting UFOs. True to The Bert Show style, the episode blends real-life absurdities with the hosts' sharp-witted commentary and relatable banter.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Burger King 911 Call

[00:43 - 05:34]

Background: A man calls 911 from a Burger King drive-thru after being told they are out of lemonade. He’s frustrated that the cashier didn’t let him know earlier and claims he’s being made to wait 15 minutes because he “talked too much.”
911 Operator’s Patient Response: The operator calmly tries to reason with him, repeatedly emphasizing that running out of lemonade or slow service isn’t a police matter.
Customer’s Perspective: The caller, Jean, insists he’s being treated unfairly as a customer and wants the police to arbitrate.
Key moment: The operator explains the gravity of using 911, “Customer service is not a reason to call 911. 911 is if you’re dying. Do you understand that?” (04:36, 911 Operator)

Hosts’ Reactions

[02:32, Host Robert]: “As a 911 operator, having to explain that to me…”
The hosts are both amused and baffled that someone would even consider dialing emergency services for fast food complaints.
Host Sean muses: “Fast food phone calls to 911. Would you ever let that cross your mind? I would never.” (02:51)
Discussion expands on the public’s misunderstanding of what 911 is for. (02:57 - 03:04)

2. Classic and Silly 911 Calls

[05:37 - 12:48]

Segue to More Calls: The cast reminisces about other calls where people phoned 911 for trivial reasons, including someone asking for the time.
Legendary Stoned Cop 911 Call:
- [07:03 - 12:27]
- Story: A police officer, after making and consuming marijuana brownies with his wife, calls 911 convinced they’re dying, claiming, “I think we're dead. I really do.” (07:55, 911 Caller)
- Notable moment: The officer gets lost in time, saying, “Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.” (08:20, 911 Caller)
- Memorable diversion: As the call meanders, he asks, “What’s the score in the Red Wings game?”—checking if it’s real or a hallucination. (11:42, 911 Caller)
- Host Robert’s Take: “[It’s] so sad when he says, ‘I think we might already be dead.’” (12:53)
The cast and listeners revel in the absurdity, pondering: “Who are you more disturbed to see? Your mother-in-law or the police?” - Host Sean, (12:33 - 12:38)

3. Real 911 Operator Caller: UFOs and Wild Calls

[13:01 - 14:26]

Guest 'Robert' Calls In: A former military 911 operator shares stories of strange calls, notably an old lady convinced there’s UFO activity over her house.
- “She was adamant that there was a UFO hovering over her house…she wasn’t even in our jurisdiction…She really wanted to talk to somebody.” — Robert, [13:32 - 13:36]
Hosts’ Response: They joke about transferring the call to the Army Airfield or the Air Force, and riff on the woman possibly ingesting the same brownies as the earlier cop.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The police will come. You cannot dial 911 because you're unhappy with your burger. Okay? Do you understand that?”
— 911 Operator, [02:11]
“Customer service is not a reason to call 911. 911 is if you’re dying. Do you understand that?”
— 911 Operator, [04:36]
“I think we're dead. I really do.”
— 911 Caller (Stoned Cop), [07:55]
“Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.”
— 911 Caller (Stoned Cop), [08:20]
“Who are you more disturbed to see? Your mother-in-law or the police?”
— Host Sean, [12:33]
“She was adamant that there was a UFO hovering over her house.”
— Robert (911 Operator Caller), [13:32]

Timestamps for Key Segments

Burger King 911 Call & Hosts’ Reactions: 00:43 – 05:34
Discussion on Silly 911 Calls & 911 as a Public Service: 05:37 – 06:17
Stoned Cop Marijuana Brownie Call: 07:03 – 12:27
911 Operator Guest, UFO Story: 13:01 – 14:26

Tone and Style

The episode is light-hearted, conversational, and mocking in a friendly, relatable way. The cast freely riffs and builds on each other’s jokes, keeping the mood playful despite the absurdity and occasional frustration embedded in the stories. Their authenticity and humor invite listeners to consider the logic (or lack thereof) in these real-life 911 misadventures.

Summary

This Bert Show episode delivers a hilarious, sometimes cringe-inducing look at how everyday frustrations can spiral into emergency calls, providing both comic relief and a subtle lesson in common sense. Between the incredulous Burger King customer, the out-of-his-mind cop, and a UFO caller needing reassurance, the cast reminds us of the spectrum of “emergencies” and the humanity—and patience—of the 911 operators who answer them.

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Transcript243 lines

[00:00]
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[00:28]
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[00:43]
Host Sean
Listen, it's the vert show.
[00:45]
Host Robert
This is pretty unbelievable. We want to share this 911 call with you guys because I heard this
[00:51]
OnDeck Announcer (repeat)
story yesterday and I couldn't find the audio. So I'm excited.
[00:54]
Host Robert
Yes, this is a guy in Boynton Beach, Florida, who has called 911 to complain about the service at Burger King because he found out they didn't have lemonade. Let's listen to what this guy sounds like.
[01:07]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Hello?
[01:08]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
You're at Burger King?
[01:09]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yeah, I'm in the Burger King. Beach Boulevard.
[01:12]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
1521 West Point Beach Boulevard.
[01:16]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
I don't have the address.
[01:17]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
What's going on there?
[01:19]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
I'm coming here to buy something. I place another when I get there. I'm in the window. I tell the lady I want the lemonade, pink lemonade. She say, I don't have. We don't have any money. I say, why you didn't say that to me before?
[01:33]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay, now are you in. Listen to me. Are you in the drive in or are you inside the store?
[01:38]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
I'm driving the drive in.
[01:40]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
All right. Are you blocking the customers?
[01:43]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
No, I'm going. She said she's going to let me make me stay with you for 15 minutes. That's what she says. Okay. Before she give me the food.
[01:52]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay. If the food's not done. Sir, the food's not done.
[01:55]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
The food is done. The food is done. She says she's going to mute me, stay here for 15 minutes because I'm talking too much with her. That's what she said. I come from work, I'm hungry. I come to here to buy something. She says she's going to make mistakes.
[02:09]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
What's your name? Jean.
[02:11]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yes.
[02:12]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
If they want you to move from the window. I need you to move from the window, okay? The police will come. You cannot dial 911 because you're unhappy with your burger. Okay? Do you understand that?
[02:24]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
What about the 45? What about this?
[02:26]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
If it takes 15 minutes to cook, it takes 15, 15 minutes to come, okay? You don't need to call 911 as
[02:33]
Host Robert
a 911 operator having to explain that to me.
[02:36]
Host Sean
And, you know, if we. The phones are all lit up now with guys calling for the Philips cooking package. But if the phones were open, we could take calls, I guarantee you, from 911 operators in Atlanta who have to deal with phone calls like this all the time.
[02:50]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
Oh, yes, I bet.
[02:51]
Host Robert
Fast food phone calls to 91 1. Would you ever let that cross your mind? I would never.
[02:57]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
I think if anybody. I think there are some people that truly believe if there's anything going on that's wrong, they call 911.
[03:04]
Host Robert
Yes.
[03:04]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
You know, like, who do I call? I have to complain?
[03:08]
Host Sean
911, we've had people. We've had audio before from cities where people have called up and said, hey, can you tell me what time it is?
[03:15]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
No.
[03:16]
Host Sean
Yes. Because they just think. It just gets in their head. Do you have. Sean, can you find the 911 call from the crazy old lady? Because that needs an encouragement.
[03:24]
Host Robert
There's a second part to this Burger King. Call it lady.
[03:27]
Host Sean
Yeah, we fire up the second part before you look for that.
[03:33]
Host Robert
Here we go.
[03:34]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Have you given them any money?
[03:36]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
No.
[03:37]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
No. Have they given you any food?
[03:39]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
No.
[03:40]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
No. Okay, then you can drive away, sir.
[03:43]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
No, I. Move the car.
[03:44]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay, move the car then.
[03:46]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
If I'm hungry. Why? She thinks he's not going to give me the food.
[03:49]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Sir. Come on. Come on. I know you don't seriously think that the police need to make Burger King give you food faster? I cannot believe that.
[04:04]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
She's washing people. That's the way she is.
[04:06]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay, sir, well, the police are gonna come, so just wait in the parking lot. You can't block their drive through, though. Okay? Do you understand that? Are you still in the parking lot?
[04:16]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yeah.
[04:17]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Do you want the police to come and talk to you?
[04:19]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yes. I don't like the way she's acting with the customers. I'm a customer. I'm coming here to buy something, to buy some food. If she has some problem. Wrong. When she's coming here, she's supposed to be nice with people.
[04:37]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay, I understand that, but that's not a police matter, sir. Customer service is not a reason to call911. 911 is if you're dying. Do you understand that? Don't call 911 because you're unhappy with somebody's customer service. I understand that you don't think she should be rude to you, but you can't call 911 for that.
[05:02]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
And he's probably disappointed. Like,
[05:05]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
okay, all right, so don't do that anymore. Okay. Because it's only for people that have a life or death emergency.
[05:11]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Okay.
[05:12]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
All right, hold on one second.
[05:14]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yeah, what? I'm coming here to buy some food. Yeah. I get the window, and she's asking me what I need. I say, I need number seven, lemonade. She said, okay. When I get the window, she said, we don't have limonet. I have. I need coke. I have Coke. I said, I don't need Coke. Give me the lemonade.
[05:34]
Host Robert
He won't give it up.
[05:38]
Host Sean
Okay, who's he talking to at the end?
[05:40]
Host Robert
It sounds to her.
[05:43]
OnDeck Announcer (repeat)
Or at the drive through, Somebody at the drive through because he got mad
[05:46]
Host Sean
because he can't have lemonade. And you know what he did is he got off the phone with her, you know, and called whoever, his cousin, his friend, and said, I just called 911. And they were just as bad as the no lemonade Burger King customer service.
[05:57]
Host Robert
It was terrible.
[05:58]
OnDeck Announcer
Yes.
[05:58]
Host Robert
But so funny.
[05:59]
Host Sean
And could you imagine, like, if I was the manager of that Burger King? I almost want the cops to come.
[06:04]
Host Robert
Right.
[06:05]
Host Sean
All right, can you tell me what happened with the gentleman outside in the car?
[06:07]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
We were out of lemonade.
[06:08]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Yes.
[06:08]
Host Sean
We ran out of lemonade, so I offered him a Coke instead. And then he called you? What else happened? That's it.
[06:17]
Host Robert
That's all.
[06:17]
Host Sean
That's it. And when's the last time we played the stoned cop calling 911?
[06:22]
Host Robert
Oh, no, that one is hilarious.
[06:24]
Host Sean
Find the 911 cop. Sean's actually excited. This is a guy who.
[06:30]
Host Robert
This is so funny. Awesome.
[06:32]
Host Sean
He calls 911 because he and his wife had gotten into some brownies.
[06:36]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
He's stoned and he's freaking out, and he calls 911 again. It doesn't matter whether you are sober or not. If you have a problem, you call 911.
[06:44]
OnDeck Announcer (repeat)
But didn't he take this stash from
[06:46]
Host Robert
the, like, the evidence room?
[06:48]
Host Sean
Yes. And he didn't know how good or
[06:49]
Host Robert
bad it was, dummy.
[06:53]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
Funny. 911 calls.
[06:55]
Host Sean
Please still be in there. Please still be in there.
[06:57]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
Sean is searching.
[06:57]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
I have both, actually now.
[06:59]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
The pay it lady and the.
[07:00]
Host Sean
Okay, all right, let's skip. Play it lady. We'll Put her online. Let's go right to stone.
[07:04]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
911, Cop Heights emergency.
[07:07]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah, can you please send rescue to. I think I'm having an overdose that as so as my wife.
[07:13]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, you and your wife?
[07:15]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yes.
[07:16]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Overdose of what?
[07:17]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Marijuana, but I don't know if it had something in it. Okay, can you please send rescue?
[07:23]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. How old are you?
[07:24]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I'm 28. 29 years old and my wife is 26. Please come.
[07:30]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
26?
[07:31]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yes, please.
[07:32]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Have you guys been drinking also?
[07:33]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
What?
[07:34]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Have you guys been drinking today too?
[07:36]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No. That's it?
[07:37]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
No. Is there any weapons in the house?
[07:40]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No. Please come.
[07:41]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, we're on our way. Are you guys like. Do you guys have fever or anything?
[07:46]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No, I'm just. I think we're dying.
[07:49]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
How much did you guys have?
[07:52]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I don't know. We made brownies and I think we're dead. I really do.
[07:55]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, how much did you put in the brownies?
[07:58]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I don't know.
[07:59]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Was it a bag? Who made the brownies?
[08:03]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
My wife and I did. Cuba, come here.
[08:06]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, get her.
[08:08]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
She's under. She's on the living room ground right now.
[08:10]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Is she breathing?
[08:12]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
She's barely breathing.
[08:13]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Is she awake?
[08:14]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I think so.
[08:16]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. Can you look?
[08:18]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Pardon?
[08:19]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Can you look?
[08:20]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Can I. Yeah, I could feel her. She's laying right down in front of me. Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.
[08:26]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
I'm on the phone with you. Do you know how much you bought and put in the brownies?
[08:31]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Pardon?
[08:32]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
How much did you buy?
[08:33]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I don't. I just. Please send rescue.
[08:36]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
They're on the way, but I'm trying to figure out how much you bought and put into the brownies. Sir.
[08:40]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Probably like a quarter ounce total.
[08:41]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
A quarter ounce total into the brownies. Did you guys eat all the brownies?
[08:46]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah, we did.
[08:46]
Host Sean
You wouldn't believe what we ate.
[08:49]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Cheetos. Okay. And you ate all of them? How many? Was it a big batch? A little batch?
[08:55]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
It was a quarter ounce.
[08:57]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, but brownie wise, how many pieces do you guys think you guys had?
[09:01]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I don't know. I probably had like a small chunk. Please come. It's. What time is it?
[09:07]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
It's 9:37. When did you guys last eat the brownies?
[09:11]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Probably like an hour and a half ago.
[09:14]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. Is your wife still. Is your wife still breathing?
[09:17]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah, she is. She's sitting. She's kneeling down in front of me. Okay, I know we have to wait.
[09:22]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. And is she Stacy Sanchez?
[09:25]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yes.
[09:26]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
What's your name?
[09:27]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
My name is Edward.
[09:28]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Your Edward Sanchez. Okay. And did you guys have any other Sort of drugs you know of?
[09:35]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Pardon?
[09:36]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
You know. Did you guys do anything else today besides marijuana?
[09:40]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No, that's it. But I don't know. What was it? The marijuana? Could have been. There could have been something in the marijuana.
[09:46]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, Are you guys in any sort of prescription pills? You guys take any sort of other medication?
[09:51]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No, I don't. My wife takes Vicodin, though.
[09:56]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
And did she take any today?
[09:58]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No, I don't think so. Okay.
[10:01]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Where's the Vicodin?
[10:02]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
The Vicodin is. I don't. It's in our medicine cabinet.
[10:07]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, but how many? Does she take it on a regular basis? Yeah, how many does she take on a regular basis? Two, four, eight.
[10:14]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Like, I don't know, like five a day. Please call.
[10:16]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
She takes about five a day? Yeah, they're on the way and they've been enrolled for two minutes. It's now 9:38.
[10:23]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Okay.
[10:25]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
She takes about how many? Eight, five a day?
[10:27]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
What's that?
[10:28]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
How many does she take a day?
[10:30]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
She takes like, I don't know, like, six.
[10:33]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Six a day?
[10:33]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Like five a day? I don't know. She. We got into a car accident in Dearborn Heights last year.
[10:38]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. And you don't know how many she's taken today?
[10:42]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No.
[10:44]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. Is there. Is there any animals in the house?
[10:47]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Is there any.
[10:48]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
What do you need Dog? Pets?
[10:49]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
I'll put them away for you.
[10:51]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay. Is the front door open?
[10:53]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah, the front door is open. Come here.
[10:54]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Porch light on?
[10:56]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Pardon?
[10:56]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Is the porch light on?
[10:58]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yes, the porch light is on.
[11:00]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Are there any weapons in the house?
[11:02]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
You already asked me that.
[11:03]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
And what'd you say?
[11:05]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah. Well, no, there is.
[11:07]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Where is it?
[11:08]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
It's in my closet.
[11:10]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Is that in the back bedroom?
[11:11]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah. In the front bedroom?
[11:12]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
In the front bedroom?
[11:13]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah.
[11:20]
Host Sean
Okay.
[11:21]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay.
[11:22]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Come on, Ginger. Where's FD at right now?
[11:28]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
They're on the way, sir. Do you guys do this on a regular basis?
[11:34]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
No, this is the first time that we've ever done it.
[11:36]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
And you've never done marijuana before?
[11:39]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah, I have.
[11:40]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
You have.
[11:40]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
And you've never had this reaction to it before?
[11:43]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Ever? What's the score in the Red Wings game?
[11:48]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
What?
[11:49]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
What's the score in the Red Wings game?
[11:50]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
I've got no clue. I don't watch the Red Wings.
[11:53]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Oh, okay. I just want to make sure this isn't some type of, like, hallucination that I'm having.
[11:57]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
Oh.
[11:58]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Why?
[11:58]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
What's the score say?
[12:00]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
3 to 3.
[12:02]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
When channel is it on?
[12:04]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Channel. It's 2 to 2. Huh?
[12:11]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
It's 2 to 2.
[12:12]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Okay. Your police. Tell your officers they just passed me.
[12:15]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay? They just passed you?
[12:16]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Yeah.
[12:17]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Okay, but you're up. Okay, well, we'll let them know. Okay, Go outside and flag them down. Okay.
[12:23]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Okay. My mother in law just got here too.
[12:25]
911 Operator (Burger King Call)
Okay.
[12:26]
911 Operator (Marijuana Overdose Call)
Alrighty.
[12:27]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Alrighty. Bye.
[12:28]
911 Caller (Burger King Customer)
Bye.
[12:28]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Bye.
[12:29]
Host Sean
That right there. Who are you,
[12:33]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
buzzkill?
[12:34]
Host Sean
Who are you more disturbed to see? Your mother in law or the police?
[12:39]
Host Robert
Mother.
[12:39]
Host Sean
Mother in law. You know, he called her first.
[12:44]
911 Caller (Marijuana Overdose)
Oh, that's.
[12:45]
Host Sean
And it was the same conversation.
[12:46]
Host Robert
Please come.
[12:47]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
I think we're dead.
[12:48]
Host Sean
I think we're dying. What time is it? Because time is going really, really, really, really, really, really slowly.
[12:54]
Host Robert
Oh, it's so sad when he says, I think we might already be dead. Hey, Robert.
[13:01]
Host Sean
Welcome to the show.
[13:02]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
Hey, guys.
[13:03]
Host Sean
What's going on?
[13:04]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
I was a 911 operator in Texas with the military. And you know, we got called all the time and I guess we would get particularly crazy ones because people think, well, this is the military, so if, you know, I mean, White Sands, New Mexico is right down the. You know, down the way from us. And we would get UFO calls all the time. And an old lady called and she was adamant that there was a UFO hovering over her house.
[13:34]
Co-host or Guest Commentator
Oh, poor thing.
[13:37]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
I mean, she was. She was freaking out about it and she was, you know, just going crazy and. And you know, she wasn't even in our jurisdiction and so we couldn't really send anybody out and we, you know, she. There was. There was nothing really going on. We looked up her information and everything and actually had a neighbor go on go over it and check on her. And she. She really, really wanted to talk to somebody. So I. I transferred her to the Air Force Command.
[14:11]
Host Robert
She wanted you guys to do a UFO investigation.
[14:14]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
And so I said, well, you know, it's not really the Army's purview of UFOs. You, I'll transfer you to. To Biggs Army Airfield.
[14:21]
Host Sean
Maybe she's eating the. Maybe she's eating the same brownies as the other dude.
[14:26]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
Well, you know, now that I think about it, we were next to white sand, so she might have been telling the truth. I'll never know.
[14:34]
Host Sean
Thanks for the call, Robert.
[14:35]
Robert (911 Operator Caller)
Thanks.
[14:36]
Host Sean
Thanks. Listen, it's the Birch Show.
[14:38]
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Tyler Redick
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SimplePractice Announcer
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