Vault: One Woman's Desperate Plea to Do the Right Thing"

Summary

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The Bert Show: “Vault: One Woman's Desperate Plea to Do the Right Thing”

Date: March 27, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode centers around a caller named Joanne, who is at a critical crossroads in her marriage. She grapples with her feelings of unfulfillment and temptation towards another man, debating whether to pursue an affair while her husband is away. The Bert Show team and several callers weigh in with candid advice and hard-hitting personal stories about infidelity and its repercussions.

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Main Discussion Points

Joanne's Dilemma

• Joanne, the caller, shares that she’s been married four years, loves her husband, and feels close to her five-year-old stepdaughter, but admits:

  “I’ve never felt in love with him.” (Joanne, 01:18)

• She describes her relationship with her husband as more of a friendship, lacking stimulation and romantic connection.
• Joanne reveals she’s developed intense feelings for a man she’s met through work. Their chemistry is palpable, and she has planned a date with him while her husband and stepdaughter are away.
• Both Joanne and her potential date are aware she is married; there’s an unspoken understanding that the dinner could turn into more.

  “We're both thinking dinner and possibilities. And that's been said more or less.” (Joanne, 03:24)

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The Panel's Tough Questions & Guidance

• The hosts and panelists probe the roots of Joanne’s dissatisfaction, questioning whether she’s tried addressing these issues with her husband.
• One panelist notes:

  “I think that there’s... you’re at the stage where you feel that these are two separate issues… But I feel like they’re totally connected and one is coming from the other. So you have to complete one before you can move on to the other.” (Voice Disguiser Panelist 1, 05:40)

• The Bert Show team unanimously advises against going through with the affair, planning to bring in callers who can share how affairs negatively impacted their own lives.

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Personal Stories & Emotional Impact

Tina’s Call: The Child’s Perspective

• Tina, a listener, passionately tells Joanne:

  “My parents went through the exact same thing… as a child, I have no trust. I’ve had serious trust issues… you will destroy someone. You have an obligation to go about this in the right way, if you’re even considering it. This... will ruin her trust in relationships. This is setting the stage for her.” (Tina, 06:30)

• She reminds Joanne of her stepdaughter’s innocence, urging her to think beyond herself.

April’s Story: Regret After an Affair

• April recounts becoming involved with a man at work as her marriage crumbled. Despite hopes for love and a new life, things fell apart.

  “Did I really do everything I could do to fix [my marriage]? And now I’m alone, unmarried, and the guy that I potentially ruined my life for, I haven’t heard from him in months.” (April, 08:09)

• Her experience serves as a cautionary tale about trading stability for a fleeting romance.

Jason’s Regret: Long-Term Consequences

• Jason openly admits to cheating on his wife of 15 years:

  “Now I’ve been divorced for nine years. My kids look at me different, my parents look at me different… it’s an emotional scar that I’ve carried with me for nine years, and it’s affected every relationship I’ve tried to have since the divorce.” (Jason, 08:43)

• He warns:

  “It was fantastic for about a month, and now I’ve been living with it for about nine years now. Honey, don’t do it.” (Jason, 09:48)

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Key Insights and Takeaways

• Infidelity’s Fallout:
  Panelists and callers repeatedly underscore the lasting, widespread damage that infidelity causes—not just to marriages, but also to children and families. Trust issues, lasting emotional pain, and ruined relationships are common themes.

• Decision vs. Mistake:

  “Should I text him back? Should I call him back?... Those aren’t mistakes. If you say yes to those, you can’t look back and say, ‘I just made a mistake for one night.’” (Host of Voice Disguiser, 12:00)
  The show emphasizes that engaging in an affair is not a simple lapse in judgment but a series of conscious decisions with serious consequences.

• Temptation Is Hard to Resist:

  “If you continue your conversations with this guy and go to dinner, you will not be able to resist the temptation.” (Voice Disguiser Panelist 1, 11:36)

• Impact on Children:
  Multiple voices stress the ripple effect on children, particularly Joanne’s stepdaughter, who looks up to her.

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Joanne’s State of Mind

• At the beginning: “I was, like, 99% sure I was gonna go [on the date].” (Joanne, 11:27)
• By the end: “Now I’m like half and half.” (Joanne, 11:27)
• She promises to update the show in the future about her decision.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This woman is so incredibly selfish for even considering such a thing… You will destroy someone.” – Tina (06:30)
• “Now I’ve been divorced for nine years… I was conceived. And, sweetie, I would highly recommend separating yourself from the situation. It’s not a burden that’s carried lightly.” – Jason (08:43)
• “It was fantastic for about a month, and now I’ve been living with it for about nine years now. Honey, don’t do it.” – Jason (09:48)
• “You’re about to make five decisions probably today. And these aren’t mistakes… you made decisions. They were bad decisions, but those weren’t mistakes and you’re gonna have to live with those.” – Host of Voice Disguiser (12:00)
• “You have a child that is looking up to you. Whether she is yours or not, she looks up to you… this will ruin her trust in relationships.” – Tina (06:30)

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Timeline of Key Segments

• 01:18 – Joanne describes her marriage and lack of passion.
• 03:06 – Joanne details her feelings for the other man and the planned dinner.
• 04:16 – Discussion on whether it’s genuine love or infatuation.
• 06:30 – Tina delivers a passionate appeal from the perspective of a child affected by infidelity.
• 07:46 – April shares her story of regret post-affair.
• 08:43 – Jason recounts his personal experience and long-term regret.
• 11:27 – Joanne’s resolve wavers; she is “half and half” on going through with the affair after hearing the stories.
• 12:00 – Hosts reiterate that these are deliberate choices, not mere mistakes.

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Conclusion

With raw authenticity, The Bert Show tackles a deeply personal, morally complex issue, illustrating the real-life consequences of betrayal through personal stories and thoughtful panel discussion. The show’s message is clear: fleeting passion cannot outweigh the devastating, far-reaching impact of unfaithfulness—and every decision counts. Joanne ends the episode at a true crossroads, her mind changed by the honest voices of experience.

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Transcript

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[Host of Voice Disguiser]

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[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Kanchowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Spiegel]

This is the Birch Show.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Joanne wants to be on the Voice Disguiser. Good morning, Joanne.

[Joanne]

Hi.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Hi. How are you?

[Joanne]

I'm okay. How are you guys? Okay.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

Curious.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

This is a. This is. Joanne emailed us and said it's pretty much a make or break weekend for her.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

Okay.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

She's got a lot riding on the line and she's teetering on a decision she has to make, basically. Okay, go ahead.

[Joanne]

Okay. So I've been married to my husband for about four years, and I have a stepdaughter. She's five years old, and I love her so much. And my husband and I are. We get along really well. He's a really good guy. He's a really good guy and he's fantastic. But I don't feel in. I've never felt in love with him.

[April]

I just.

[Joanne]

I love him and so I feel sort of half satisfied all the time.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Okay.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

And you've never been in love with him?

[Joanne]

That sounds awful, but no.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

Okay.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Joanne]

But I love him and I care deeply about him. Feels more like he's my best friend. I don't feel stimulated by him.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

Okay.

[Joanne]

So that's fact. And I have met this man that I work with. He's not in my company. He's in another company. And we've met and, you know, we've had. We've had lunches together, business lunches, but just the two of us. And we really. And it's just like sparkling. It's like this beautiful thing. And nothing has happened between us but yet. Or at all. And. But my husband is going out of town this weekend and my stepdaughter is Going to be with her mother. And this man that I have met and I have been planning to go to dinner tonight. And there is. It is implied that it's a date. And I. And I don't know.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

Does the guy that you're going to dinner with know you're married?

[Joanne]

He does.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

So it's sort of like it's progressed to a point where you guys have. Even if you haven't said it, you're attracted to each other. There's something there. Does he know that your husband is going out of town this weekend?

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Okay, so he's thinking dinner and possibilities.

[Joanne]

We're both thinking dinner and possibilities. And that's been said more or less,

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

back to your relationship with your husband. Have you talked to him about the problems you're having? Obviously, it's in the bedroom.

[Joanne]

It's actually not really in the bedroom. It's.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

You guys are having a regular life together that's intimate and romantic.

[Joanne]

It's intimate in the literal sense, but I feel like I'm five miles away. And he doesn't even know that, which scares me. He doesn't even sense that I'm not really there.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

You know, she's just unfulfilled. I mean, she's married a guy that she's not in love with. She's unfulfilled. She's living in a house where she just doesn't have a lot of love there. And now she's found a guy that's sparking her interest. Are you in love with this guy or is this just like, wow, really exciting and you're just.

[J]

You're restless, you know, I feel like,

[Joanne]

how can you know? Cause there's so much lust. There's so much that hasn't happened. But I feel more in love than I've ever felt. I feel like this is what it's supposed to be. And I didn't know that it could be.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

So what exactly are you looking for from us?

[Joanne]

I guess I almost want you to tell me. Don't, you know, like, don't do it, or, you know, okay, I'll tell you

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

don't do it, if that's what you need to hear. But you're not going to. But you're not going to follow that advice.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

You know, I thought about this last night, and universally in here, we're going to tell you not to do it. What I thought would be the most impactful thing to do is put people on the voice disguiser that have done this and have had horrible experience. They couldn't live with themselves. Their guilt just overrode them. They knew it was the wrong thing to do, but they did it anyway. And what the next day was like, and the next week was like. The first time that they saw their husband's face. The first time that they saw their wives face. I want somebody to shock you into not doing this this weekend.

[Joanne]

Okay. Are you planning to stay with your husband after the fact? Like as soon as he gets back? I don't know. It feels like a test, you know? Like I don't know what I'm planning. I don't have a plan. So you're gonna test drive him and if it goes good, then you're gonna stay with him?

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

If it doesn't, go test drive what she's doing.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

Yeah, I just wheeling him around the lot. Gonna hit on the head on the highway real quick.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

I just never feel. I mean, I think that there's. You're at the stage where you feel that these are two separate issues. That you're with this guy at work or you're lusting after him and that your husband at home is this dud in your heart. But I feel like they're totally connected and one is coming from the other. So you have to complete one before you can move on to the other. Like, if you were not in love with your husband, you're not being fulfilled. That's an issue in itself. And this guy at work is a part of that.

[Joanne]

I almost want to do it and then realize how much I love my husband or something. Or I wanted to like, validate that or something.

[J]

I don't.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Yeah, I don't know. That's gonna happen here is not exactly what I was looking for, but could be pretty shocking too. Tina, do you want to be on the voice disguiser? No, go ahead.

[J]

This woman is so incredibly selfish for even considering such a thing. My parents went through the exact same thing. My mother was cheated on by two different husbands. And the impact that it has on her, that it's had on our family. And as a child, I have no trust. I've had serious trust issues. And it's. I don't know. How can you. How could you even consider that without even thinking about everyone else involved? This is not about just you. You have a child that is looking up to you. Whether she is yours or not, she looks up to you. This is just selfish. You need to be more mature, more responsible, and go about things in the right manner and realize that you will destroy someone. You have an. An obligation to go about this in the Right way, if you're even considering it, this will. This will ruin. Ruin her trust and relationships. This is setting the stage for her.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Okay, so what Tina is saying here is, are you willing to live with the scar that you might put on your stepdaughter after this weekend? April, you're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Joanne]

Good morning.

[April]

I just wanted to tell the caller I just came out of a situation like that about maybe two or three months ago, my marriage was on the rock, and I met this guy at work, and I began to have feelings for him, and he began to have feelings for me. And we talked about being together, what it would be like when we got. When I got divorced and this, that, and the other.

[Joanne]

And so I went ahead and I

[April]

did it, and it went on for a while, and. And I thought we were in love and got divorced. And then he started to pull away from me. And so now I'm left wondering what would have been of my marriage. Did I really do everything I could do to fix it? And now I'm alone, unmarried, and the guy that I potentially ruined my life for, I haven't heard from him in months.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Jason, go ahead. You're on Q100. And do you want to be on the Voice Disguiser?

[Jason]

No, I don't need to be.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Okay, go ahead.

[Joanne]

Hey.

[Jason]

I would highly discourage the caller. I was married 15 years, had a good marriage, and gave in to somebody at work and thought I knew this person, thought there was a great, wonderful friend and. And gave in. And now I've been divorced for nine years. My kids look at me different, my parents look at me different, my friends and associates look at me different. And it's an emotional scar that I've carried with me for nine years, and it's affected every relationship I've tried to have since the divorce and all in all the affair after the divorce, I thought, well, okay, at least this is going to come, take off and go now. She actually turned into a completely different woman. I didn't know her. I was conceived. And, sweetie, I would highly recommend separating yourself from the situation. It's not a burden that's carried lightly. TV and movie stars, everybody makes it look so wonderful. And I'll be honest with you, it was fantastic for about a month, and now I've been living with it for about nine years now. Honey, don't do it.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

So it's intoxicating at first, so you might have a great time on Saturday or Friday night or whatever. You might have a great time. It's intoxicating to You. But what he's saying is he's nine years later, and he thinks that his friends look different at him, his family looks different, his kids are looking differently at him. That's what is all riding on the line on Friday night for you.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

It's very similar to this show. Like, in the beginning, everybody's like, wow, you guys are part of the bird show. And now people look at me different. They judge me, they stare at me.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

But there, I mean, I have friends who are children of cheating parents. And it does affect them the rest of their lives. It affects what they feel that they're capable of doing. And if they're able to be in a trusting relationship and if they're able to 100% trust other people. And I mean, it is. The repercussions of it, I don't think are worth it. I mean, it's just. And again, I mean, it's not fair to your husband to do it to him. Why?

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

I mean, we could get into your relationship with your husband and attack this from a million different ways. We just don't have the time to do it. The truth of the matter is, I've got five people on the line that are telling you that if you do it this weekend, even if the affair just lasts three or four weeks, the effects of it are going to affect you for a long, long, long, long, long time. And you may be affecting your child also. You know, so.

[April]

Right.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

What are the chances that you're going tonight? Percentage. What were the chances before you got on the phone with us, and what are the chances now?

[Joanne]

The chances of four were. I was, like, 99% sure I was gonna go, and now I'm like half and half.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

Because the thing. The thing is, if you go, if you continue your conversations with this guy and go to dinner, you will not be able to resist the temptation.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Yeah, you've got a lot of decisions to make today. You're not gonna make a mistake today. You're not gonna look back at this and go, I just made a mistake. You're about to make five decisions probably today. And these aren't mistakes. These are. Should I text him back? Should I call him back? Should I go to dinner tonight? When you're at dinner tonight, should I take him back to my place? Those are four right there. And those aren't mistakes. If you say yes to those, you can't look back at it and say, I just made a mistake for one night.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 1]

Because you consciously made that decision.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

You made decisions. They were bad decisions, but those weren't mistakes and you're gonna have to live with those.

[Voice Disguiser Panelist 2]

And don't forget things that you do drunk don't really count.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Joanne, will you give us some real honesty if we talk to you about the same time?

[Joanne]

Sure. Thanks guys.

[Host of Voice Disguiser]

Alright, bye bye.

[Josh Spiegel]

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