The Bert Show: “Vault: One Woman's Desperate Plea to Do the Right Thing”

Date: March 27, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode centers around a caller named Joanne, who is at a critical crossroads in her marriage. She grapples with her feelings of unfulfillment and temptation towards another man, debating whether to pursue an affair while her husband is away. The Bert Show team and several callers weigh in with candid advice and hard-hitting personal stories about infidelity and its repercussions.

Main Discussion Points

Joanne's Dilemma

• Joanne, the caller, shares that she’s been married four years, loves her husband, and feels close to her five-year-old stepdaughter, but admits:

  “I’ve never felt in love with him.” (Joanne, 01:18)

• She describes her relationship with her husband as more of a friendship, lacking stimulation and romantic connection.
• Joanne reveals she’s developed intense feelings for a man she’s met through work. Their chemistry is palpable, and she has planned a date with him while her husband and stepdaughter are away.
• Both Joanne and her potential date are aware she is married; there’s an unspoken understanding that the dinner could turn into more.

  “We're both thinking dinner and possibilities. And that's been said more or less.” (Joanne, 03:24)

The Panel's Tough Questions & Guidance

• The hosts and panelists probe the roots of Joanne’s dissatisfaction, questioning whether she’s tried addressing these issues with her husband.
• One panelist notes:

  “I think that there’s... you’re at the stage where you feel that these are two separate issues… But I feel like they’re totally connected and one is coming from the other. So you have to complete one before you can move on to the other.” (Voice Disguiser Panelist 1, 05:40)

• The Bert Show team unanimously advises against going through with the affair, planning to bring in callers who can share how affairs negatively impacted their own lives.

Personal Stories & Emotional Impact

Tina’s Call: The Child’s Perspective

• Tina, a listener, passionately tells Joanne:

  “My parents went through the exact same thing… as a child, I have no trust. I’ve had serious trust issues… you will destroy someone. You have an obligation to go about this in the right way, if you’re even considering it. This... will ruin her trust in relationships. This is setting the stage for her.” (Tina, 06:30)

• She reminds Joanne of her stepdaughter’s innocence, urging her to think beyond herself.

April’s Story: Regret After an Affair

• April recounts becoming involved with a man at work as her marriage crumbled. Despite hopes for love and a new life, things fell apart.

  “Did I really do everything I could do to fix [my marriage]? And now I’m alone, unmarried, and the guy that I potentially ruined my life for, I haven’t heard from him in months.” (April, 08:09)

• Her experience serves as a cautionary tale about trading stability for a fleeting romance.

Jason’s Regret: Long-Term Consequences

• Jason openly admits to cheating on his wife of 15 years:

  “Now I’ve been divorced for nine years. My kids look at me different, my parents look at me different… it’s an emotional scar that I’ve carried with me for nine years, and it’s affected every relationship I’ve tried to have since the divorce.” (Jason, 08:43)

• He warns:

  “It was fantastic for about a month, and now I’ve been living with it for about nine years now. Honey, don’t do it.” (Jason, 09:48)

Key Insights and Takeaways

• Infidelity’s Fallout:
  Panelists and callers repeatedly underscore the lasting, widespread damage that infidelity causes—not just to marriages, but also to children and families. Trust issues, lasting emotional pain, and ruined relationships are common themes.

• Decision vs. Mistake:

  “Should I text him back? Should I call him back?... Those aren’t mistakes. If you say yes to those, you can’t look back and say, ‘I just made a mistake for one night.’” (Host of Voice Disguiser, 12:00)
  The show emphasizes that engaging in an affair is not a simple lapse in judgment but a series of conscious decisions with serious consequences.

• Temptation Is Hard to Resist:

  “If you continue your conversations with this guy and go to dinner, you will not be able to resist the temptation.” (Voice Disguiser Panelist 1, 11:36)

• Impact on Children:
  Multiple voices stress the ripple effect on children, particularly Joanne’s stepdaughter, who looks up to her.

Joanne’s State of Mind

• At the beginning: “I was, like, 99% sure I was gonna go [on the date].” (Joanne, 11:27)
• By the end: “Now I’m like half and half.” (Joanne, 11:27)
• She promises to update the show in the future about her decision.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This woman is so incredibly selfish for even considering such a thing… You will destroy someone.” – Tina (06:30)
• “Now I’ve been divorced for nine years… I was conceived. And, sweetie, I would highly recommend separating yourself from the situation. It’s not a burden that’s carried lightly.” – Jason (08:43)
• “It was fantastic for about a month, and now I’ve been living with it for about nine years now. Honey, don’t do it.” – Jason (09:48)
• “You’re about to make five decisions probably today. And these aren’t mistakes… you made decisions. They were bad decisions, but those weren’t mistakes and you’re gonna have to live with those.” – Host of Voice Disguiser (12:00)
• “You have a child that is looking up to you. Whether she is yours or not, she looks up to you… this will ruin her trust in relationships.” – Tina (06:30)

Timeline of Key Segments

• 01:18 – Joanne describes her marriage and lack of passion.
• 03:06 – Joanne details her feelings for the other man and the planned dinner.
• 04:16 – Discussion on whether it’s genuine love or infatuation.
• 06:30 – Tina delivers a passionate appeal from the perspective of a child affected by infidelity.
• 07:46 – April shares her story of regret post-affair.
• 08:43 – Jason recounts his personal experience and long-term regret.
• 11:27 – Joanne’s resolve wavers; she is “half and half” on going through with the affair after hearing the stories.
• 12:00 – Hosts reiterate that these are deliberate choices, not mere mistakes.

Conclusion

With raw authenticity, The Bert Show tackles a deeply personal, morally complex issue, illustrating the real-life consequences of betrayal through personal stories and thoughtful panel discussion. The show’s message is clear: fleeting passion cannot outweigh the devastating, far-reaching impact of unfaithfulness—and every decision counts. Joanne ends the episode at a true crossroads, her mind changed by the honest voices of experience.