Vault: One Woman's Desperate Plea to Do the Right Thing Did Not End Well

Summary

The Bert Show: "Vault: One Woman's Desperate Plea to Do the Right Thing Did Not End Well"

Air Date: March 30, 2026
Host and Cast: The Bert Show

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, The Bert Show follows up with Joanne, a listener struggling with marital dissatisfaction and the temptation of an emotional affair. After previously opening up about her plans to go out with a coworker she feels strongly about—while her husband is away—the hosts and listeners weigh in on the complexities of love, infidelity, and the quest to "do the right thing." Joanne returns to discuss her actions and the aftermath, navigating guilt, desire, and uncertainty.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Background Recap and Joanne’s Dilemma

• Joanne, married for four years with a stepdaughter, feels "half satisfied" in her marriage and admits she never truly fell in love with her husband.
• Develops an intense connection with a man from work (planning what’s clearly a date while her husband is away).
• Joanne’s initial plea: "I almost want you to tell me, don't do it." (00:48)
• The cast and callers urged her not to go through with the date.

2. Listener and Host Reactions

• Callers share personal stories about the consequences of infidelity, especially from the viewpoint of children affected by parents' affairs.
• Notable quote (Host): "Most were calling up saying, look, this is not going to be a one time thing here...they think about it every day for their entire life." (01:42)

3. Joanne’s Update – Did She Go Through With It?

• Joanne describes the lead-up to the dinner:
  • Set ground rules for herself (only one glass of wine, full personal accountability).
  • Despite listener pleas, goes to dinner with the coworker.
• Joanne: "I know the message I got from all the people on your station and everything, but sort of felt like it was something that I just had to do." (03:25)
• She frames the dinner as a form of closure, not an affair:
  • "We had a great time. But that was really...that was it." (04:20)
  • She believes seeing him helped her "close it off."
• Admits a "soft, quick peck on the lips" ended the night. (06:56)

4. Hosts’ and Co-hosts’ Critiques and Concerns

• Mixed reactions:
  • Some praise her restraint; others criticize even having the dinner.
  • Repeated concern that the pattern will continue if contact isn't fully cut off.
• Host: "If you don't cut it off 100%, you're for sure gonna go down the path." (06:39)
• Emotional infidelity is addressed:
  • Co-host: "Yeah, you didn't sleep with him, but you're cheating on your husband emotionally for sure." (12:03)

5. Joanne’s Uncertainty and Defense

• Joanne admits she still loves the other man, but doesn't know if her marriage is over.
• Expresses hope for marriage counseling and gives a candid summary:
  • "My heart does want to be with someone else right now...but I hope to go to marriage counseling if he will...that would be the goal." (11:12, 09:53)
• Acknowledges the pain if her husband were to hear her true feelings.
• Co-host: "You can't have both. The thing is, in the end, you cannot have both." (11:43)

6. Listeners' Advice and Final Thoughts

• Callers and hosts generally urge honesty and decisive action—either end the marriage or cut all ties with the other man.
• Criticism of Joanne’s passive approach:
  • Co-host: "You're trying to create an environment in which everything's happening to you...take responsibility for what you've done." (08:19)
  • Host: "But if you continue to put yourself in this situation, it's only a matter of time." (11:58)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Joanne (about her stepdaughter):
  • "I might scar my stepdaughter forever." (03:00)
• Host:
  • "If you keep putting yourself in this situation, you know, where it's gonna end up." (08:43)
• Joanne (on her feelings):
  • "If my life were different, then it would be the beginning of something. It can't be, and I know that." (05:02)
• Co-host (about emotional honesty):
  • "Didn't you say, I hope that after this is all said and done that he'll be back?" (08:54)
• Joanne:
  • "My secret dream is that stars would work out, that we'd find our way back to each other." (10:54)
• Co-host:
  • "You're cheating on your husband emotionally for sure." (12:03)

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Important Timestamps

• [00:48-01:36] – Joanne’s initial setup and listener reactions
• [02:25-04:20] – Joanne describes going through with the dinner
• [05:54-06:56] – Details of the emotional confrontation and how the date ended
• [08:19-09:48] – Tough listener and co-host criticism, and discussion of taking responsibility
• [11:03-12:03] – Joanne’s raw admission about complicated emotions and host reflections

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Tone and Language

The show is candid, conversational, and emotionally frank, with moments of humor and teasing among the hosts. The tone is supportive but confrontational—challenging Joanne’s rationalizations while acknowledging the pain and complexity of her situation.

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Summary Conclusion

This episode offers an honest, sometimes painfully real exploration of infidelity—not just as an act but as an emotional journey. Joanne stands at a crossroads between her yearning for passion and her family commitments, while The Bert Show and its listeners force her—and, by extension, the audience—to confront uncomfortable but vital truths about love, longing, and loyalty. The collective message: Do the difficult right thing, not the easy wrong one.

Transcript

[Tyler Reddick]

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from 2311 racing another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail] let's Chumba.

[Host (Bird Show)]

No purchase necessary VTW group void where prohibited by law CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba

[Tyler Reddick]

Casino the Bird show previously on the Bird Show.

[Joanne]

I married my husband for four years. I have a stepdaughter. My husband and I, we get along really well. He's a really good guy. But I never fell in love with him. I just, I love him and so I feel half satisfied all the time. And I have met this man, we've had lunches together and it's just like sparkling. Nothing has happened between us yet. And my husband is going out of town this weekend. This man and I have been planning to go to dinner tonight. It is implied that it's a date. We're both thinking dinner and possibilities. And that's been said more or less. I feel more in love than I've ever felt. I feel like this is what it's supposed to be. I guess. I almost want you to tell me, don't do it.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So that was Friday on the show and a bunch of you guys called up saying, just don't do it.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, there was a lot of really passionate people. One woman called up and said that she had been affected for the rest of her life because of her parents affairs.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But most were calling up saying, look, this is not going to be a one time thing here. Some were calling saying they got away with it, but they think about it every day for their entire life. So we told her, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

The truth is that her husband was out of town and she sort of had a free pass. So did she go through with it or not? And we even said on Friday, like, if you do it, you can't really say it was a mistake.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, she's been building a relationship with this guy at work. So it's not like it was just her husband's out of town, and she was gonna hook up. It was this guy that she was already flirting with and having suggestive text with and conversations with. So she was already kind of building this relationship up with this guy at work. And they were just going to finish it off this weekend while the husband was out of town.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So it was a series of bad decisions, but you couldn't look back at it and go, I just made a mistake. So Joanne is back, and she is on the voice disguiser. Joanne, when we got off the phone with you on Friday, did anybody say anything to you that really sort of jolted your system?

[Joanne]

Yeah, the woman who was talking about how she was affected by her parents cheating or her mother, I can't remember which one, cheated, but that it changed her life and she felt she has trust issues. And all that really, really got me.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Because you're starting to think, look, if I do this, I might scar my stepdaughter forever.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I did.

[Caller/Listener]

Because your stepdaughter, you said, is like a daughter to you.

[Joanne]

She is. I mean, she's with me and my husband most of the time, so she's a huge part of my life.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Well, take us through the day. Then we get off the phone with you, and it's early. And then I'm sure either you were started to text him or he started texting you, telling you how excited he was about Friday night, or you were texting him. So take us through the whole day.

[Joanne]

Okay, so we actually spoke on the phone to talk about what time we were going to meet up and everything. And I sort of didn't explain how nervous I was. I know the message I got from all the people on your station and everything, but sort of felt like it was something that I just had to do. And I know that everybody thinks that that's wrong. We made a time that we were gonna meet up. I got ready to go out, obviously, and we met up for dinner.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So hold on one sec. So hold on, hold on, hold on. So you call him, and he calls you, and you say that you're excited about Friday night, and never once do you say to him, look, maybe this isn't something that we should do. Maybe we should just think about this.

[Joanne]

No, I thought it in my head a million times, but it didn't come out of my mouth.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Okay. All right, so you go ahead and you set the Friday night dinner up. Okay.

[Joanne]

So I was very nervous. I decided in my head, I said, you know, I knew that we would probably have drinks, and I said, a glass of wine, tops for me. I didn't want to be clouded by having had too much to drink or I didn't want to be able to blame anything on anyone but myself. So we ended up meeting for dinner, and I had a glass of wine, and we had a great time. But that was really. That was it. I think somewhere in me, I knew I needed to see him and sort of maybe close it off in my mind. See him one time like that. And that was really it.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So did you close it off? Like, is it done?

[Joanne]

I think so. I hope so. I mean, we had an amazing time. Look, I love this man. If my life were different, then it would be the beginning of something. It can't be, and I know that.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And how did the night end? Like, what last five minutes of the evening?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Because, you know, he was thinking that as soon as dinner's over and I got a little whining, or that this thing's gonna progress in the way it sure looks like it's going to, right?

[Joanne]

I don't think that he thought that

[Co-host/Commentator]

exactly, because, yes, he did.

[Joanne]

Well, we discussed it. We discussed it at dinner. Once we were at dinner, we had a lot of great other conversations, but I told him how I was feeling, and I felt like I was gonna throw up all over the table.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Like, what's one of the things that you were talk. Talking about at dinner while he was thinking of your boobs?

[Joanne]

I don't know how to answer that.

[Host (Bird Show)]

How did you say it to him that this wasn't going to happen tonight?

[Joanne]

I said, you know, look, I'm amazed by you. You floor me. But this is too complicated. And I'm. I said, I know I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt everybody involved in this because there's no clean way to do it. And I just feel like I gotta figure my stuff out. And I hope that you're here when I get back, or I hope I figure it out the other way. But I feel like I'm just dragging you along.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Good for you. I mean, I think this has gotta be praised. I mean, you went, but you didn't. I mean, go all the way. You didn't pull the trigger on it. So Melissa's looking at me like there's no praise. That should be.

[Co-host/Commentator]

My concern is the more time you spend with him and the more conversations you have with him, you are going to go in that path.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You for sure are. If you don't cut it off 100%, you're for sure gonna go down the path.

[Co-host/Commentator]

She. I mean, you're the. Well, I hope this is the end. I hope. Well, you know what? It's up to you, and you don't sound definitive, so you won't be able

[Host (Bird Show)]

to be strong like this forever.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Did you kiss him at the end of the night?

[Joanne]

Yeah. He drove me home, and at the door, he gave me, like, a soft, quick peck on the lips, and it felt more like a closure than anything else. It was almost like a fret. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't passionate or anything like that.

[Co-host/Commentator]

We understand that because Lindell just left for Australia, and we gave her all a quick, soft peck on the lips.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yours lingered a little longer than the

[Co-host/Commentator]

rest of ours, but, yeah, it's a sense of closure. Bye, Lyndall.

There was also her hands trying to push you off of her, and you just would not let her go.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But it felt like closure.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I know. She walked out the door, and Jeff's like, I guess no really does mean no, huh?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, that's closure.

She was calling 911 at the time, but you didn't pay attention to that.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I mean, everybody is calling up to rip on her here. But the truth of the matter is, the end of the date happened, and she didn't sleep with this guy. At least a little bit of that.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But they still went out. But they still went out to go on the date.

If I'm your husband. If I was your husband listening into this entire conversation, like, yes, he's gonna be hurt.

[Host (Bird Show)]

For sure he'd be hurt.

[Co-host/Commentator]

She is not into this.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Latoya. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Joanne]

Good morning. She's ridiculous. She's gonna continue to see this Man Friday. I kinda have some sympathy for her, but I don't know.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Well, you definitely got to cut this thing off. You do sound a little middle of the road, but if you continue to text, I mean, you got to break up with this guy, like, today.

[Co-host/Commentator]

See, what you're doing is you're trying to create an environment in which everything's happening to you, so you hope this is over. It's almost as if. If something happens, then. Well, I just couldn't help myself. I just couldn't help myself is, to me, the most irritating sentence ever spoken because you knew exactly what you were doing. Take responsibility for what you've done and. And then end it. Or don't end it. End it with your husband or end it with this dude, but you can't have both.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah. If you keep putting yourself in this situation, you know, where it's gonna end up. You already know that before it happens. You can only say no so many times. But the more you hang out with this guy, the more intoxicated you're gonna be with him. And it's gonna happen.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I mean, didn't you say, I hope that after this is all said and done that he'll be back?

[Joanne]

That he'll still be there?

[Co-host/Commentator]

He'll still be there. He'll still be there for you?

[Joanne]

I basically said that I don't know which way it's gonna go. And that's just the truth. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to work it out with my husband. I want to and I plan to, but I don't know that that will be the end. And I hope that if it doesn't work out, that somehow I will find this man from work, that we'll be able to work it out. But I think the question that I can't. I know that he can't promise me that, and I know that I can't ask that of him. And I feel like everyone is just so tunnel visioned. It's sort of like I understand that the whole situation sucks and that I did something wrong and I totally take responsibility for that. But it's a very complicated situation. It's not easy. And I feel like I've made a pretty good decision in the end.

[Caller/Listener]

I think the question you need to ask yourself, is your relationship with your husband already over?

[Joanne]

Yeah. And I'm saying I don't know the answer to that. I hope not. I plan to talk to him. I hope to go to marriage counseling if he will, hope to figure it out, to find a spark back in it. And that would be the goal. And then if that doesn't work, then we'll see. You know, I don't know. We have years behind us. I can't answer that question in one second.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But here's the thing, is, if you are honest in your appraisal that it may not be over with your husband yet, then you're not giving it a fair chance. If you're still seeing this guy on the side, you can't fully resolve things with your husband. If you always know that you had this backup plan, a text or a phone call away.

[Joanne]

I don't plan to be seeing this guy on the side. I have to see him at work and there's nothing I can do about that. But I don't plan to continue having Friday night dinners and I don't plan to text him anymore. All I was Saying was that I, you know, if things don't work out, that my secret dream is that stars would work out, that we'd find our way back to each other. And that's just the truth. I make up my mind that's the

[Co-host/Commentator]

language, that my secret dream is that the stars would align and we. I mean, it just. It's kind of like what Jim was saying. It sounds like you have given up.

[Host (Bird Show)]

It's inevitable. I think you're trying to do the right thing because you. You know what the right thing to do is, but your heart wants to be with somebody else.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I mean, imagine your husband hearing you say that.

[Joanne]

No, it would kill me, but my heart does want to be with someone else right now. But like you were saying the other day, that it has a lot to do with what's going on within my relationship right now. And so I don't know, if I were to go in and if we were to dig into that together, my husband and I, for. For our sake, for my stepdaughter's sake, that maybe that that would change right now. That's how I feel. What am I supposed to do?

[Host (Bird Show)]

I'd be willing to bet in a couple of months, if we check back with you, you're gonna be in the same situation.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But you can't have both. The thing is, in the end, you cannot have both.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But at least for the weekend, I mean, it sounds like it was a band Aid, but at least for the weekend, she didn't do anything.

[Joanne]

But.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, I'm glad you didn't do anything.

So do you say congratulations for that?

[Host (Bird Show)]

I mean, I think that's the.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No,

[Host (Bird Show)]

she didn't sleep with the guy this weekend. But I think if you continue to put yourself in this situation, it's only a matter of time.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, you didn't sleep with him, but you're cheating on your husband emotionally for sure. Because, I mean, you went on the date and. I mean, the stars align and you went and had wine, had a great time. I mean, it just.

[Caller/Listener]

You put your.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You're putting yourself continuously in the situation that's tempting you.

[Host (Bird Show)]

We gotta run, Joanne, but I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Thanks a lot. All right, good luck. The Bird Show.

[Tyler Reddick]

Tyler reddick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail]. let's Chumba.

[Host (Bird Show)]

No purchase necessary BTW group void. We're prohibited by law. CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

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[Josh Spiegel]

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