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A
Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.comb for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borhears.com the
B
first show it's no secret that parents who have babies or children you've essentially purchased yourself when you did that deed, when you consummated the relationship and created the child, you also got with that an excuse for 18 years.
C
Every infant's middle name should be excused.
B
Yes, permanent excuse.
C
That's a good one.
B
I can't remember what Bert, you once gave a percentage for some reason. I think it was 50%. I asked you years ago, how often when you say you can't do something because of child, how often is it really child related? And I think your number was like 50%.
C
Could have been in the beginning with Hayden. Probably 50%. Probably now down to about 20.
B
Right? Because they're getting older, it's harder to do that. But in the beginning you could just be tired and go, yeah, kid's not feeling well. That kid's sound asleep. Ben's sound asleep for four hours. Gonna sleep for four more.
C
Gotta leave early. The sitter can only stay till 10. Even though the sitter could have been there till 2 in the morning.
B
Why not even with a sitter? Didn't you just keep hating in a
C
closet in the car?
B
Yep. So I Joke about that. So friends of Jessica's and mine have had babies. We have like three or four babies around us right now. And Jessica and I obviously don't have any kids right now. So I've gone ahead and used other people's children for excuses. Like what?
A
And how have you done that?
B
Well, like when situations come up where people are like, hey, can you. Are you available for lunch? For example, I use this one back in December, before the holidays. You know, it's just. It's just crazy over the holidays. It's busy. You want you doing your last minute Christmas shopping. You got it? Always got. Every day you go to Target for something busy. So when a good friend asks you to lunch, it sounds crappy to say, I can't. I'm just running around, you know what I mean? For like three days in a row. So. So I used Tracy's kid, Ella. What'd you say? God, I would love to, but you know, Ella's got a cold and Tracy's got a bug out every day right at like 10 o'. Clock.
C
So you're covering for Tracy, So you're using her.
B
So I used Ella as an excuse. Yes.
A
Nice.
B
So I used Ella as an excuse.
C
Very nice. Really good.
B
And then we had another situation where we had a couple different invites to do different things over the holidays. You know, the Christmas time. And this is when all the, you know, job stuff was going on and I didn't really feel like being around people and telling the story a hundred times and blah, blah, blah. So it was just Jessica and I hanging out with a couple close friends. All these close friends have kids. So when somebody said, hey, what are you guys doing for the holidays? And we would say, oh, we're gonna do this. And we might go up to the, to the lake and just hide out up there, say, well, why don't you leave a day later and do this? I threw out. Well, our friends. We told our friends we'd watch their kid for one night because they were gonna go out and have a date night. There was no date night.
C
That'll start to play on you though. Cause somebody may legitimately have a reason that they can't hang out with you because of their kid. And then once they use it, you will assume they're blowing you off even though they're not, because I've already taken the excuses.
A
Or do you think these parents are gonna ask you to babysit their kids? Cause they think you're so great with kids, Right?
C
You use the kids as an example. All the Time. Go.
B
So guess what? Oh, I'm sorry. You want me to come over and watch Hayden? I can. I'm watching Ella Grace. Sorry.
C
Well, I mean, two is basically the same as one. So just.
B
You know what? You and Jessica just drop Hollis off at Tracy's house, and when I get there, I'll watch them both.
C
I would. Tracy with one, two, or three kids. Good morning, Joshua. You're on the Bert show. Hi.
B
Hey, Bert.
C
Thank you, sir.
B
Hey, a couple of weeks back, you were talking about considering participating in a reality show, and I just was interested in knowing what the outcome of that was.
C
There is no outcome. There has been no update yet. I am just waiting for the creator to tell me if they want me on the show or not.
B
The creator of the TV show. Not God,
C
not a capitalized C. Yeah, and I got a couple of texts from her a couple of days ago that indicated that I would have to start making a decision, because the tone of the. Of the texts were just like, you're gonna get picked. So maybe you should start thinking about it. I got a voice. We exchanged voicemail messages yester that sort of make me feel like this is something that I'm gonna have to make a decision on over the next couple of days.
B
You're gonna do it?
C
I'll be honest with you. Like, you're gonna do it. I want to do it, but I'm really looking at it logically. I. My. My gut says no. My heart says yes, but my gut says don't do it. So once we have the contract in front of us and we can really, you know, sort of connect some of the dots logically and make a decision for the family once they offer it, then we'll do that, and then it'll be like a 24 or 48 hour process.
B
Just for the record, your gut and your heart are irrelevant. What does your wife want?
C
Stacy was leaning towards doing it.
B
You're gonna do it? Yeah.
A
Stacy wants to do it.
C
I don't know. I really don't know.
B
And I gotta watch Ella Grace later.
C
Joshua. I will let you know as soon as they say yes or no to me. And it's a definite. I'll fill you guys in on what comes up next, all right? But right now, there's nothing.
B
Appreciate it.
C
Okay, man.
B
Bye.
C
Bye.
B
Take care, guys. Get it.
C
The bird show.
Date: June 8, 2026
Main Hosts: Bert, Kristin, (other cast: Abby, Cassie, Tommy)
This episode focuses on how people (particularly those without kids) often leverage other people’s children—and the excuses that come with parenting—for social escapes and dodging obligations. With their characteristic humor and honesty, the cast shares personal anecdotes, playful teasing, and reflects on the wider cultural trend of “using the kid excuse.” The segment also features a listener call-in that sparks a side conversation about a possible reality TV opportunity.
Permanent Excuse Acquisition: The hosts joke that having a child comes with a built-in social “get out of jail free” card.
Excuse Stats Over Time:
Confession Time: Bert admits he’s used his friends’ children as his own excuse even though he and Jessica don’t have kids.
The Ethical Quandary of Excuse Inflation:
Live Fan Interaction: Listener Joshua calls in, referencing recent talk of a possible reality show appearance.
Unresolved Cliffhanger:
Authentic, humorous, and playful—typical of The Bert Show. Conversations are spontaneous, packed with self-deprecation, and lightly tease societal conventions about parenting and friendships. The hosts maintain a relatable, confessional air, engaging both with each other and with listeners directly.
Summary:
Whether you’re a parent milking the ever-useful “kid excuse” or a child-free friend pondering the ethics of borrowing that excuse, this episode is full of laughs, admissions, and a dash of reality TV suspense. The cast keeps it real, reminding listeners that everyone’s just trying to navigate the social calendar—with or without a stroller in tow.