Vault: Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell Interview 9 years ago

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell Interview (Originally Aired 9 Years Ago)

Original Air Date: August 10, 2026
Episode Theme: A nostalgic throwback to The Bert Show’s interview with American Idol’s iconic judges Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell during the show’s season one heyday. The episode revisits their unforgettable chemistry, behind-the-scenes stories, and honest reflections on the reality TV phenomenon.

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Episode Overview

The Bert Show opens its vault to replay an interview from nine years ago, speaking with American Idol legends Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. The cast revisits the high energy, playful banter, and insightful commentary that defined the first season of the show and the two judges' dynamic relationship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rarity of Getting Both Judges Together

• [01:02] Host Bert describes how having both Abdul and Cowell on the phone together was a lucky accident, emphasizing how rare such an opportunity would become.
  • “It’s impossible now to get Paula Abdul and Simon on the phone at the same time in an interview. Couldn’t happen. But back then, we were double booking accidentally.” — Host (Bert) [01:26]

2. Paula’s Role as the Panel’s “Conscience”

• [02:33] The team commends Abdul for her empathetic approach, in contrast to Simon’s notorious candor.
  • "You pretty much were the conscience on that judging panel because, you know, you here tried to let the people down easily, you know... and the other guys are like, ‘You suck.’" — Commentator [02:33]
• Abdul explains the value of diversity in criticism style:
  • “That’s the cool part of the show, is that there’s three separate and distinct ways of doing constructive criticism.” — Paula Abdul [02:50]

3. Addressing Rumors about Paula and Simon’s Relationship

• [03:07] The co-hosts playfully probe into the rumors of sexual tension between Paula and Simon.
  • “What I’ve read is Simon thinks that there’s sexual tension between us that... I don’t know what dream he is having. I seriously don’t know.” — Paula Abdul [03:10]

4. The Grueling Audition Process

• [03:25] Paula reveals the exhausting nature of traveling and judging, noting they visited eight or nine cities and heard thousands of hopefuls.
• When asked about the talent quality:
  • “There was a good percentage that was just bad. There was a larger percentage that was good but not above average.” — Paula Abdul [03:48]

5. Behind-the-Scenes – Conflicts and Camaraderie

• [04:00] Bert asks Paula if there was more happening off-camera during Simon’s harsh critiques.
  • “Ask him if his arm has a permanent bruise… if you’re sitting to the right or left of me has a permanent dent.” — Paula Abdul [04:17]
  • “I can appreciate his candor and being brutally honest, but… it’s his truth.” — Paula Abdul [04:29]

6. Simon Joins the Call — Classic Banter and Teasing

• [05:10] Simon immediately launches into playful antagonism:
  • “This girl is haunting me across America. This is the girl who used to claw outside my bedroom door, begging to be let in at night.” — Simon Cowell [05:10]
  • “Oh, you wish, Simon.” — Paula Abdul [05:22]
  • “You admit it, darling. You’re gonna have to give way eventually.” — Simon Cowell [05:24]

7. On-Screen vs. Off-Screen Dynamics

• [05:49] Simon jokingly corroborates Paula’s earlier remarks:
  • “I swear to you, Bert, I came out of this show black and blue. This girl has very, very sharp elbows.” — Simon Cowell [05:49]
• They laugh about their contrasting judging methods, with Simon pushing for more honesty and Paula defending her supportive approach:
  • “He always said that to me.” — Paula Abdul [06:10]
  • “I used to shake her at the end of the day and just say, look, speak your mind. But you know, she is a nice person.” — Simon Cowell [06:11]

8. Would Paula and Simon Box on TV?

• [06:32] The hosts joke about a “Celebrity Boxing” match:
  • “Yes, I’ll do it. Because I’d rather take on Paula than Randy Jackson.” — Simon Cowell [06:48]

9. Simon on the Realities of the Audition Process

• [07:13] Simon details the brutal honesty required in auditions, and how American Idol’s auditions compare to the real industry:
  • “We do talk to them as a group beforehand to say we are looking for something better than normal. If you don’t like criticism, then I would suggest you leave this audition now because we will tell you the truth.” — Simon Cowell [07:13]

10. Simon’s Ranking of Audition Cities

• [07:44] Simon offers his thoughts on which city’s talent stood out:
  • “I thought Atlanta was probably second or third... they just had naturally good voices. There was a girl who came from Atlanta who I think I described as not having the X factor, but the Z factor. I thought she was sensational.” — Simon Cowell [07:44]
  • Adds that Atlanta contestants showed more honest enthusiasm than those in Los Angeles.

11. The Promise of More Access

• [08:26] Simon leaves the door open for future interviews:
  • “Whenever you want to do something, you know, I’d be delighted to.” — Simon Cowell [08:28]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What I’ve read is Simon thinks that there’s sexual tension between us... I seriously don’t know.” — Paula Abdul [03:10]
• “This girl is haunting me across America... claw outside my bedroom door, begging to be let in at night.” — Simon Cowell [05:10]
• “I swear to you, Bert, I came out of this show black and blue. This girl has very, very sharp elbows.” — Simon Cowell [05:49]
• “We do talk to them as a group beforehand to say we are looking for something better than normal. If you don’t like criticism, then I would suggest you leave this audition now because we will tell you the truth.” — Simon Cowell [07:13]

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Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Summary | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:02 | Introduction and setup of rare Abdul-Cowell joint interview | | 02:33 | Discussion of criticism styles and show dynamics | | 03:07 | Joking about Simon and Paula’s rumored off-screen chemistry | | 03:48 | Paula talks about the audition process quality | | 04:17 | Behind-the-scenes disagreements and playful violence anecdotes | | 05:10 | Simon enters, launches playful “haunting” banter | | 05:49 | Simon and Paula recall bruising interactions and honest judging | | 06:32 | “Celebrity Boxing” joke between judges | | 07:13 | Simon on the reality of auditions | | 07:44 | Simon ranks Atlanta high among audition cities | | 08:26 | Simon invites the show to continue reaching out |

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Tone & Chemistry

• The interview features witty, flirtatious banter, staying lighthearted but also offering unique, personal insights into the American Idol experience.
• Both judges’ personalities shine, with Simon leaning into his “mean one” persona and Paula counterbalancing with warmth and wit.
• The hosts keep the conversation rolling with playful prodding and references to pop culture moments of the era (e.g., Celebrity Boxing).

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Summary

This vault episode captures a rare moment in reality television history, with American Idol’s most beloved judges together on air in their early days. Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell’s camaraderie, sharp banter, and contrasting styles are on full display, providing listeners with hilarious behind-the-scenes stories and deeper understanding of the audition process. Fans of the show—and anyone curious about reality TV’s golden age—will find this episode both nostalgic and highly entertaining.

Transcript

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[Host (Bert)]

You're on the Birch show. We are going American idol vintage here in just a second. Birch O Q100. Live from the Nokia theater for American Idol finale week. But what I mean by vintage is we're gonna go back to season number one. This was a coup. We didn't realize how much of a coup it was back then.

[Co-host]

It was just cool because it was a hot show on TV and we had two of the stars joining the bird show. So that was cool.

[Host (Bert)]

I mean, when you have Paula. It's impossible now to get Paula Abdul and Simon on the phone at the same time in an interview. Couldn't happen. But back then, we were double booking accidentally. So we had Paula on one phone and then this dude from England, that new judge, the English guy, the guy with the accent, you know, the mean one. The mean one, yes. He's calling in at the same time. So let's save ourselves some money some time and get them both on at the same time and then we'll just move on. So we got Paula and Simon on at the same time. And Jeff said in listening back to it, like, the tone of it is very different back then than it is now.

[Co-host]

It's like flirty friendly. You'll hear it. Flirty friendly is it seems like toward the end it got a little caustic friendly. Okay, but this one's nice.

[Host (Bert)]

I said this was Paula Abdul. She was booked and then Simon was booked on the show also. They overlapped, so we put them on together. What, nine years ago on the Birch show. Hey, Paula Abdul. Hey, how are you this morning?

[Paula Abdul]

I'm doing great. How are you?

[Host (Bert)]

Oh, you're a little tired, aren't you?

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, just a little bit, yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah. Are you out in la?

[Paula Abdul]

Yes, I am.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah. I think, I think you've got a hit here.

[Paula Abdul]

Yeah, yeah. Good, Bad and Ugly. We do.

[Host (Bert)]

That's what we're calling our show today also, actually.

[Commentator]

And I have to say, all morning we've been talking about how you pretty much were the, the conscience on that judging panel because, you know, you here tried to let the people down easily, you know. Yeah. You didn't sing too well, but, you know, get some lessons, you know, try harder. And the other guys are like, you suck.

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You're awful.

[Paula Abdul]

Yeah, well, I just think that that's the cool part of the show, is that there's three separate and distinct ways of doing constructive criticism.

[Co-host]

Now, Paula, do you, in real true life, do you have any dislike for Simon? You can be honest with us. It's just, you know, it's just the

[Host (Bert)]

four of us, you know, he would tell us if he disliked you.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, I think no. What I've read is Simon thinks that there's sexual tension between us that really just touched. Of course he does. I, I don't know what dream he is having. I, I seriously don't know.

[Host (Bert)]

So how many of these did you have to sit through? Every single audition?

[Paula Abdul]

Pretty much. So we, we went. For the past month, we've been traveling all around the country. I think believe eight or nine cities and listen to hundreds, if not thousands.

[Host (Bert)]

Would you say the majority were bad or the majority were good?

[Paula Abdul]

I would say there was a good percentage that was just bad. There was a larger percentage that was good but not above average.

[Host (Bert)]

And you were really looking for a superstar here. Even some of the train wrecks were great to watch. I'll say the line to me, though, was the crying when Simon was so mean, he made women cry and some guys cry too. Was there anything going on between you and Simon that we didn't see on camera? Like, were you chewing him out a little bit more aggressively?

[Paula Abdul]

Ask him if his arm has a permanent bruise or if his left or right leg given on any city, if you're sitting to the right or left me has a permanent dent.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paula Abdul]

I mean, it's, you know, I can appreciate his candor and being brutally honest, but it's, you know, it's brutally honest according to Simon. Just because Simon is brutally honest, it's his truth. You know, there were plenty of times that both myself and Randy Jackson Would completely disagree. But, you know, it's just. It's the way he feels, not necessarily the way we are. And you can see there's so much going on. And to fit it into an hour or so, it's difficult.

[Host (Bert)]

Well, this is kind of cool for us because Simon is here now also. Paula. Hey, Simon.

[Simon Cowell]

Hi, Bert.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, we've got, we got Paula. Yeah, that's Ms. Abdul right there.

[Simon Cowell]

This girl is haunting me across America. This is the girl who used to claw outside my bedroom door, begging to be let in at night.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, my God.

[Simon Cowell]

Admit it, Abdul.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, you wish, Simon.

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah, you admit it, darling. You're gonna have to give way eventually.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, you're back in America. Please.

[Simon Cowell]

No, I'm not. I'm in London.

[Paula Abdul]

You are?

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

Is that enough mileage between the two of you?

[Simon Cowell]

We haven't even started yet. But I've got stories about this girl.

[Paula Abdul]

Are you really? I can't wait to hear them.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Simon, Paula was telling us that she put a couple of really deep marks in both of your arms.

[Simon Cowell]

Do you know, I swear to you, Bert, I came out of this show black and blue. This girl has very, very sharp elbows.

[Host (Bert)]

Was there ever a time there? And Paula, we know you gotta take off in a second. Simon, Was there ever a time there you just really felt like going, paula, you know, you just can't be that nice to these people.

[Simon Cowell]

Oh, permanently.

[Paula Abdul]

He always said that to me.

[Simon Cowell]

Permanently. I used to shake her at the end of the day and just say, look, speak your mind. But you know, she is a nice person.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, yes. But, you know, you tried attacking me, saying that I was patronizing, and I think you really got a big elbow in there.

[Simon Cowell]

No, I got a fist at that one actually, Paula. That was actually a smack in the mouth.

[Co-host]

Simon and Paula, you guys know that Fox has a show called Celebrity celebrity boxing and I'm just throwing it out there. I know Fox people are probably listening. Write it down, think about it, mull it over, Send me a royalty check.

[Simon Cowell]

Yes, I'll do it. Because I'd rather take on Paula than Randy Jackson.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Paula, we're gonna let you go, but Simon, don't take off anywhere, okay?

[Simon Cowell]

Paula, missing you already.

[Paula Abdul]

Oh, I miss you so much, Simon.

[Simon Cowell]

Bye, darling.

[Host (Bert)]

Now, is it really as tough? Cause I mean, the people in this room have never gone on one of these big time auditions. But is it really as tough as you make it appear to be? I mean, are people as brutally honest as you are in an ordinary audition?

[Simon Cowell]

Certainly all the auditions I've ever attended. Because anyone who comes to one of our auditions, as we did with American Idol, we do talk to them as a group beforehand to say we are looking for something better than normal. If you don't like criticism, then I would suggest you leave this audition now because we will tell you the truth.

[Host (Bert)]

In the overall, like, ranking of cities that you had the auditions in, where did Atlanta fall as far as the talent comes to the other cities? Like, there was Dallas, there was Chicago, there was Seattle, Miami, New York, Louisiana, Louisiana.

[Simon Cowell]

I thought Atlanta was probably second or third. Wow. Yeah. And I'll tell you why. Because they just had naturally good voices. There was a girl who came from Atlanta who I think I described as not having the X factor, but the Z factor. I thought she was sensational.

[Host (Bert)]

I think that was Tamyra, probably.

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah. Really? Really. And what was also good about Atlanta was, is that there was a lot of enthusiasm from the people compared to, say, la, you know, which was a bit flat.

[Host (Bert)]

Oh, and they're so arrogant out there, too.

[Simon Cowell]

Well, I think they're too used to going to auditions and Atlanta. They were genuinely excited, and I think that was good for us.

[Commentator]

Yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

Well, Simon, it's been great talking to you.

[Simon Cowell]

Likewise.

[Host (Bert)]

Congratulations on what I really think is gonna be a big hit, man.

[Simon Cowell]

Well, thank you very much.

[Co-host]

And can we talk to you a bunch of times throughout the year?

[Simon Cowell]

Whenever you want. I'm gonna be there for the next three months on and off. So, you know, whenever you want to do something, you know, I'd be delighted to.

[Co-host]

Excellent.

[Simon Cowell]

As long as I'm not in hiding.

[Co-host]

We'll let you know next time Paul is on with us.

[Simon Cowell]

Okay, cool.

[Host (Bert)]

You take care, son.

[Simon Cowell]

Good to talk to you all.

[Host (Bert)]

Listen, it's the vert show.

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