The Bert Show – Vault: Phil and Lottery Numbers

Date: October 29, 2025
Main Cast: Bert Show Host, Phil Turana, Intern Tracy, Burt Show Producer
Episode Theme:
This episode delivers a hilarious and unconventional attempt by the Bert Show team to “scientifically” pick lottery numbers for their listeners. The team sends their newest member, Phil Turana, to a laundromat with ping pong balls and an industrial dryer, aiming to select lottery numbers in the most chaotic and entertaining way possible.

Episode Overview

The Bert Show brings comedy and chaos to their effort to choose lottery numbers for listeners. The star of the episode, Phil Turana, finds himself inside an industrial dryer at a laundromat, spinning (literally) for the sake of radio. What ensues is a blend of slapstick antics, on-the-fly improvisation, and classic Bert Show banter—all to pick a series of random numbers for that night’s lottery drawing.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Introducing the Lottery “Science” Experiment

• [01:42] The Host recalls when the lottery jackpot soared to “hundreds of millions of dollars” and proposes the Bert Show officially-endorsed numbers, humorously claiming their “scientific” selection method.
• [01:59] Phil Turana is dispatched to a laundromat with ping pong balls numbered 1–50 and is challenged to use an industrial dryer as a makeshift lottery machine.

2. Phil Entering the Dryer

• [02:48] Phil Turana doubts the stunt:

  “Bert, I’m about a buck 90. I don’t know if this is... I don’t know if this is gonna work.”
  - Phil Turana [02:48]

• [02:58] The Host urges him on:

  “Totally serious. I mean, it’s... this is for the listeners. Think of the listeners. For a good cause.”
  - Burt Show Host [02:58]

• Intern Tracy is on scene, ready to assist—adding to the absurdity as she helps cram Phil into the appliance.

3. The Ping Pong Ball Draws Begin

• First Ball:
  • [04:07] As the dryer spins, Phil exclaims:

    “Oh, hey, look, I’m rolling now. Ow. Let me try to... Darn it. Ow. Hold on. I fell on my head.”
    - Phil Turana [04:07]

  • Result (first number): 7
• Second Ball:
  • [05:19] The situation escalates as Phil reports:

    “We’re getting yelled at. We’re getting yelled at. We’re getting yelled at. He’s not liking this one.”
    - Phil Turana [05:19]

  • Result: 24
• Third Ball:
  • [05:45] Amid chaos, Phil hurriedly grabs the next ball.
  • Result: 20
• Fourth Ball:
  • [06:06] The tension ramps up:

    “Okay, I got another one. I got another one. I’m not here. 26. 26 and...”
    - Phil Turana [06:06]

  • Result: 26
• Fifth Ball:
  • [06:15] After another tumble:

    “Oh, God. I’m on my head. Hang on. I don’t know if that’s my spine or my neck. Oh, okay, last one. 29.”
    - Phil Turana [06:15]

  • Result: 29

4. The Laundromat Owner Picks the Powerball

• [06:32] The host suggests the laundromat owner pick the “big money” ball (Powerball equivalent).

  “Why don’t we have the guy at the laundromat pick the Powerball for us?”
  - Burt Show Producer [06:27]

• Reluctantly, Nick (the owner) draws:
  • [06:55] Intern Tracy confirms:

    “23.”
    - Intern Tracy [06:55]

  • Nick engages briefly and bemusedly with the team on air.

5. Closing Out the Lottery Stunt

• [07:24] The host recaps:

  “Okay. All right, so once again, these are the numbers to play... According to the industrial dryer and Q100, they are 7, 20, 24, 26, 29.”
  - Burt Show Host [07:24]

  • Powerball: 23

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Phil’s reluctance and willingness to sacrifice for the show:

  “Think of the listeners thinking about my neck when it breaks.”
  - Phil Turana [03:03]

• Physical comedy and authenticity:

  “Do you want the ping pong ball under my leg or up my butt?”
  - Phil Turana [04:29]

• Live chaos and interruptions from the laundromat owner:

  “We’re getting yelled at. We’re getting yelled at. He’s not liking this one.”
  - Phil Turana [05:19]

• Host’s tongue-in-cheek guidance:

  “Totally serious. I mean, it’s... this is for the listeners. Think of the listeners. For a good cause.”
  - Burt Show Host [02:58]

• Interaction with the laundromat owner Nick, and his visible confusion at the antics:

  “He is not happy. He is not happy.”
  - Phil Turana [06:35]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:42] – Setting up the lottery number selection premise
• [02:48] – Phil hesitates to enter the dryer; physical comedy ensues
• [04:07] – First spin, Phil tumbles and retrieves first ball
• [05:19] – Owner confronts, rapid picks for numbers two and three
• [06:32] – Laundromat owner picks Powerball; brief on-air cameo
• [07:24] – Full results recap for the “lucky” Bert Show numbers

Lottery Numbers Drawn (Bert Show-Endorsed)

• Main numbers: 7, 20, 24, 26, 29
• Powerball: 23
  Methodology: One sweating morning radio personality, one industrial dryer, and a disapproving laundromat owner.

Episode Tone & Takeaway

In true Bert Show style, the episode fuses irreverence, slapstick, and team camaraderie, offering listeners both laughter and a set of “scientifically” chosen lottery numbers. Phil’s physical commitment and the team’s banter stand out, embodying the real and funny brand that makes the show a morning staple.

This summary captures the energy, humor, and mayhem of the Bert Show’s lottery experiment, making it equally entertaining for those who missed the live chaos.