Vault: Phil in Wheelchair

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode: Vault: Phil in Wheelchair

Date: October 30, 2025
Theme: "What Happens When Nobody Talks Back?" – Phil's First Assignment in a Wheelchair

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Overview

This episode features a bold and comedic social experiment: new Bert Show stunt guy Phil Turana is sent out to a busy Atlanta MARTA station, using a wheelchair, to test social boundaries by offering blunt and sometimes rude comments to passersby. The goal? See if the public will talk back to a guy in a wheelchair, or if they’ll stay silent—no matter what he says. What unfolds is an awkwardly funny, revealing look at politeness, taboos, and the empathy (or avoidance) embedded in daily interactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Premise and Setup

• The hosts explain [00:02–00:20] that with a new team member, Phil, on board, the classic Bert Show approach is to "put him in the most uncomfortable situation."
• Host B: "The truth of the matter is it kind of backfired on us because... [Phil] was saying the rudest things. And everybody was so nice to him." [00:05]
• Location: Outside a MARTA station, Phil in a wheelchair, tasked to elicit reactions from passersby by making pointed remarks.

2. Phil's Attempts and Audience Reactions

• First Jabs:

  • Phil (A): "I'm in a wheelchair, but, man, I'd hate to be old. It is not fun in a wheelchair. But at least I'm not ugly, Ma’am." [00:50]
  • Result: Silence.
  • Host C: "Anything?"
  • Phil (A): "Nothing." [01:08–01:09]

• Escalating Insults:

  • Phil (A): "I don't know what rolls more, man. My wheels or your stomach." [01:12]
  • Still, no reaction.
  • Hosts' Observation: "They just think you're a bitter guy in a chair." [01:23]

• Chasing a Crowd:

  • Phil tries to get more attention—"I look like a freaking gimp. I'm going as fast as I can. I'm chasing these people down. They're looking at me." [01:28]
  • He keeps up with remarks: "I may be handicapped, but at least I can match my outfits." [01:43]
  • Only receives "evil stares" but still silence. [01:49]
  • Host C: "Not a word. Not a word." [01:54]

3. Hosts Coach Phil to Dial Up the Rudeness

• Host E: "You're almost saying them too politely... I think you need to be a little more angry." [01:56–02:01]

• Phil complies and increases the edge:

  • "Don't look so pissed off. I'm wearing the freaking wheelchair." [02:10]
  • Result: Still nothing.

• Phil, more frustrated:

  • "Hope you are enjoying walking. It would be nice. Okay. Run off. It would be nice if I could." [02:20]

• Last Attempt:

  • "Are you blind? Do you have a mirror? Look at you. Look at that. I'm in a wheelchair. Nothing." [02:34]
  • Still, no verbal response.

4. Debrief and Final Reflection

• The hosts and Phil realize nobody will confront or respond negatively to a person in a wheelchair, no matter how provocative.
• Phil (A): "God, I hate being ass level." [02:45]
• Phil (D): "This stinks." [02:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host B: "We sent him out in a wheelchair to see if a guy in a wheelchair could say anything to anybody. And it's true. He was saying the rudest things. And everybody was so nice to him." [00:05]
• Phil (A): "I'm in a wheelchair, but, man, I'd hate to be old. But at least I'm not ugly, Ma'am." [00:50]
• Phil (A): "I don't know what rolls more, man. My wheels or your stomach." [01:12]
• Host E: "I think you need to be a little more angry." [02:01]
• Phil (A): "God, I hate being ass level." [02:45]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 — Introduction to the stunt and Phil’s first assignment
• 00:33 — Phil sets the scene at the MARTA station
• 00:49–01:23 — Phil makes first series of remarks; no reactions
• 01:28–01:49 — Phil chases a crowd, escalates comments
• 01:53–02:19 — Phil and hosts debrief each attempt, with feedback
• 02:34–02:46 — Final round of insults, still no public response
• 02:45–02:46 — “God, I hate being ass level…This stinks.”

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Overall Tone

The episode maintains The Bert Show's characteristic style: candid, irreverent, and observationally humorous, poking fun at social awkwardness while ultimately reflecting on the layers of politeness and discomfort that shape everyday human interaction.

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In summary:
Phil's first assignment is an irreverent, eye-opening social experiment that reveals just how far people will go to avoid confrontation—especially when the potential offender is in a socially protected position. Despite increasingly rude barbs, Phil can't get a single comeback, prompting both laughter and a bit of reflection from the crew and listeners alike.

Transcript

[A]

The Burt Show.

[B]

This was a lot of fun. We had a new stunt guy, Phil Turana, join the Burt Show. So we thought, okay, what's the most uncomfortable situation we can put him in? Well, the truth of the matter is it kind of backfired on us because we sent him out in a wheelchair to see if a guy in a wheelchair could say anything to anybody. And it's true. He was saying the rudest things. And everybody was so nice to him.

[C]

So we've got Phil. He's the latest member of the morning show.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

And this is his first assignment, and I thank you.

[B]

Welcome to the Burt Show, Phil.

[C]

So, Phil, you're out in front of a MARTA station, correct?

[D]

Correct.

[C]

In wheelchair.

[D]

In wheelchair.

[C]

All right.

[D]

And there's a handful of people walking back and forth in front of me getting off the MARTA train.

[C]

Whenever somebody passes in front of you, feel free to start launching something and see if we can get a reaction, because my guess is nobody's gonna say anything back.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

I'm in a wheelchair, but, man, I'd hate to be old. It is not fun in a wheelchair. But at least I'm not ugly. Ma', am.

[C]

Anything?

[A]

Nothing.

[C]

Nothing. They go right by it.

[A]

I don't know what rolls more, man. My wheels are your stomach. Nothing.

[C]

Nothing. They just think you're a bitter guy in a chair. Ye.

[A]

Here comes a crowd of people. I look like a freaking gimp. I'm going as fast as I can. I'm chasing these people down. They're looking at me.

[E]

So not only you're chasing them down for the purpose of insulting them, Ma'.

[A]

Am, I may be handicapped, but at least I can match my outfits.

[D]

Oh, evil stare.

[A]

Look away, look away, look away.

[C]

Nothing.

[D]

Nothing.

[C]

Not a word. Not a word.

[E]

You're almost. I think you're almost saying them too politely. It's like. Ma', Am, excuse me. Hi, Ma'.

[A]

Am.

[E]

I may be in a wheelchair, but at least I can match my clothes. I think you need to be a little more angry.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right. Let's go a little more angry on this one.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Ma', am, don't look so pissed off. I'm wearing the freaking wheelchair.

[C]

Nothing.

[D]

Nothing.

[C]

Oh, my God. Nothing.

[A]

Yeah. Hope you are enjoying walking. It would be nice. Okay. Run off. It would be nice if I could.

[C]

All right, one last one.

[A]

Are you blind? You blind? Do you have a mirror? Look at you. Look at that. I'm in a wheelchair. Nothing.

[C]

Not one. Nobody said anything to you?

[A]

God, I hate being ass level.

[D]

This stinks.

[A]

The Birch Show.