The Bert Show – Episode: Vault: Phil in Wheelchair

Date: October 30, 2025
Theme: "What Happens When Nobody Talks Back?" – Phil's First Assignment in a Wheelchair

Overview

This episode features a bold and comedic social experiment: new Bert Show stunt guy Phil Turana is sent out to a busy Atlanta MARTA station, using a wheelchair, to test social boundaries by offering blunt and sometimes rude comments to passersby. The goal? See if the public will talk back to a guy in a wheelchair, or if they’ll stay silent—no matter what he says. What unfolds is an awkwardly funny, revealing look at politeness, taboos, and the empathy (or avoidance) embedded in daily interactions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Premise and Setup

• The hosts explain [00:02–00:20] that with a new team member, Phil, on board, the classic Bert Show approach is to "put him in the most uncomfortable situation."
• Host B: "The truth of the matter is it kind of backfired on us because... [Phil] was saying the rudest things. And everybody was so nice to him." [00:05]
• Location: Outside a MARTA station, Phil in a wheelchair, tasked to elicit reactions from passersby by making pointed remarks.

2. Phil's Attempts and Audience Reactions

• First Jabs:

  • Phil (A): "I'm in a wheelchair, but, man, I'd hate to be old. It is not fun in a wheelchair. But at least I'm not ugly, Ma’am." [00:50]
  • Result: Silence.
  • Host C: "Anything?"
  • Phil (A): "Nothing." [01:08–01:09]

• Escalating Insults:

  • Phil (A): "I don't know what rolls more, man. My wheels or your stomach." [01:12]
  • Still, no reaction.
  • Hosts' Observation: "They just think you're a bitter guy in a chair." [01:23]

• Chasing a Crowd:

  • Phil tries to get more attention—"I look like a freaking gimp. I'm going as fast as I can. I'm chasing these people down. They're looking at me." [01:28]
  • He keeps up with remarks: "I may be handicapped, but at least I can match my outfits." [01:43]
  • Only receives "evil stares" but still silence. [01:49]
  • Host C: "Not a word. Not a word." [01:54]

3. Hosts Coach Phil to Dial Up the Rudeness

• Host E: "You're almost saying them too politely... I think you need to be a little more angry." [01:56–02:01]

• Phil complies and increases the edge:

  • "Don't look so pissed off. I'm wearing the freaking wheelchair." [02:10]
  • Result: Still nothing.

• Phil, more frustrated:

  • "Hope you are enjoying walking. It would be nice. Okay. Run off. It would be nice if I could." [02:20]

• Last Attempt:

  • "Are you blind? Do you have a mirror? Look at you. Look at that. I'm in a wheelchair. Nothing." [02:34]
  • Still, no verbal response.

4. Debrief and Final Reflection

• The hosts and Phil realize nobody will confront or respond negatively to a person in a wheelchair, no matter how provocative.
• Phil (A): "God, I hate being ass level." [02:45]
• Phil (D): "This stinks." [02:46]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host B: "We sent him out in a wheelchair to see if a guy in a wheelchair could say anything to anybody. And it's true. He was saying the rudest things. And everybody was so nice to him." [00:05]
• Phil (A): "I'm in a wheelchair, but, man, I'd hate to be old. But at least I'm not ugly, Ma'am." [00:50]
• Phil (A): "I don't know what rolls more, man. My wheels or your stomach." [01:12]
• Host E: "I think you need to be a little more angry." [02:01]
• Phil (A): "God, I hate being ass level." [02:45]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 — Introduction to the stunt and Phil’s first assignment
• 00:33 — Phil sets the scene at the MARTA station
• 00:49–01:23 — Phil makes first series of remarks; no reactions
• 01:28–01:49 — Phil chases a crowd, escalates comments
• 01:53–02:19 — Phil and hosts debrief each attempt, with feedback
• 02:34–02:46 — Final round of insults, still no public response
• 02:45–02:46 — “God, I hate being ass level…This stinks.”

Overall Tone

The episode maintains The Bert Show's characteristic style: candid, irreverent, and observationally humorous, poking fun at social awkwardness while ultimately reflecting on the layers of politeness and discomfort that shape everyday human interaction.

In summary:
Phil's first assignment is an irreverent, eye-opening social experiment that reveals just how far people will go to avoid confrontation—especially when the potential offender is in a socially protected position. Despite increasingly rude barbs, Phil can't get a single comeback, prompting both laughter and a bit of reflection from the crew and listeners alike.