The Bert Show

Vault: Phone Scam – Boyfriend Drama

Air Date: December 10, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)

Episode Overview

In this classic "Vault" episode, The Bert Show brings back one of their signature phone scams, this time involving a suspicious "wireless fraud investigator" and a listener’s very personal relationship drama. The prank targets Mary, whose sister Melanie orchestrates the call, and quickly escalates as Mary discovers just how much the fake investigator supposedly knows about her love life. The episode is a blend of sharp improv, cringe comedy, and escalating reactions—exactly the brand of relatable humor and genuine surprise that defines The Bert Show's legendary prank segments.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introduction to the Phone Scam (01:34)

• Jacob (Prank caller): Pretends to be from a phone carrier’s fraud department, calling to discuss Mary’s wireless phone account.
• Jacob claims there has been "unusual activity" on Mary's phone, introducing suspicion and confusion from the very start.

2. Escalating the Scam: The “Investigation” Deepens (02:42)

• Jacob accuses Mary of repeatedly calling one number—supposedly her ex-boyfriend Glenn.
• He claims to have listened to the conversations, crossing privacy boundaries for comedic effect.
• Jacob references specific details: "You used to date him for like a year and a half, and then you guys broke up just before the holidays..." (03:06)
• Quote (03:28): Jacob: “I'm listening to the conversations that you have with him, and I'm about to freak out.”

3. Mary’s Alarm and Legal Concerns (03:18–04:46)

• Mary grows increasingly anxious and skeptical, questioning Jacob’s legal right to access this information.
  • Quote (03:28): Mary: “I want to ask my lawyer if he could be a third party on this, because I don't understand how legal this is.”
• Jacob heightens the prank by bringing up Mary's sister Melanie and alleging that even Melanie “makes fun” of Mary during calls.
  • Quote (04:31): Jacob: “Often after you and her talk, [Melanie] will call someone else. And I mean, at times, she’s almost making fun of you.”

4. Taking It Too Far: Family & Personal Life Exposed (05:07)

• Jacob brings up Mary’s mom and questions Mary’s patterns in dating.

• Mary loses patience and demands to speak to a supervisor, threatening legal action.

  • Quote (05:11): Jacob: “Your mom is very concerned because she sees a pattern.”
  • Quote (05:28): Jacob: “Can I ask you one more question? I've only known you over the phone for about two weeks.”
  • Quote (06:06): Mary: “I'm not answering that question. I plead the feds. You are totally invading my life, and I'm so... Oh my God. I'm so taking you to court right now because you're going to jail, mister. You are going to jail. You are so done. You are so done!”

5. The Reveal: “You’re On The Radio!” (06:33)

• Jacob drops the act and reveals he’s with The Bert Show, not a phone provider, and that this was a prank orchestrated by her sister.
  • Quote (06:43): Jacob: “I work for a radio station in Atlanta that your sister listens to, and she wanted me to phone scam you. The name of the radio station's All the Hits, Q100. You’re on the radio right now in Atlanta.”
• Mary’s shock quickly turns to playful fury at her sister.
  • Quote (07:00): Mary: “Oh my God. I'm gonna kick her ass.”
  • Quote (07:04): Mary: “We will. We will scam you.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jacob’s Deadpan Delivery:
  • “Well, I mean, the laws are gray. You know, it's under... I'm in the fraud department, so I've got a lot of leeway.” (04:06)
• Mary’s Escalating Threats and Disbelief:
  • “You better stop right there, because I'm about to call the police.” (04:46)
  • “You are so breaking the law, and I am so gonna see you in court.” (05:11)
  • “I plead the feds. You are totally invading my life.” (06:06)
• Humorous Reveal:
  • “You’re so going to jail. You are so... I am canceling. Oh my God. Well, just so you know, I'm canceling my fantasy hour.” (05:38)
  • “No, but I'm gonna find out who you are. Can you transfer me over to the Secret Service?” (06:33)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:34 – Prank call begins: Jacob as “Wireless Rep” calls Mary
• 02:42 – Jacob accuses Mary of calling her ex-boyfriend obsessively
• 03:06–04:46 – Jacob further invades privacy; Mary demands legal intervention
• 05:07–06:06 – Jacob references Mary’s family and “drunk dialing” details; Mary threatens court action
• 06:33 – Prank revealed: Mary learns she’s on The Bert Show
• 07:00–07:04 – Mary reacts, vows playful revenge on her sister

Tone & Style

The call is delivered with The Bert Show’s familiar mix of mischievous wit, improv humor, and relatable frustration. Jacob’s poker-faced absurdity pushes Mary into a spiral of indignation that is both comedic and uncomfortably authentic. The reveal releases the tension, moving quickly to joking threats and laughter—all signature moments for The Bert Show’s beloved prank segments.

Summary

This episode encapsulates what fans love about The Bert Show’s “Phone Scam” tradition: a pitch-perfect blend of relatable drama, expertly paced comedic escalation, and the cathartic reveal. It’s a reminder of how well the cast leverages friendly mischief to deliver surprises, all while poking gentle fun at the everyday dramas of modern relationships.

For more phone scams, listener drama, and daily laughs, tune in to The Bert Show or visit thebertshow.com.