Vault: Phone Scam - Car Repair With Extra Charges

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Phone Scam – Car Repair With Extra Charges"

Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Original Air Date: December 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into one of their notorious “Phone Scam” segments. The premise centers around a woman named Carly, who recently had her car serviced. She receives a call from a fake repair shop worker demanding an absurd “profitability upcharge” after her payment was already settled. The entire bit is light-hearted, characterized by witty banter and aimless justifications for the extra charge, ultimately revealing itself as a prank orchestrated by her friend Robin.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Setting the Scene: The Phone Scam Premise

(01:41–02:04)

• Introduction to the prank: Jim Danic (the scammer) calls Carly under the guise of discussing post-repair billing.
• Carly is told there is an $85 “upcharge” because the garage “didn’t meet profit expectations.”

Host: “Brand new Bert Show phone scam. Calling up a woman who had some car repairs done… she’s got her car back and everything’s working, but I dial her up because I need to talk to her about the added charges we're gonna put on her credit card.”

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2. Carly’s Confusion and Pushback

(02:06–04:59)

• Carly immediately questions the legitimacy of this upcharge, insisting she already paid in full.
• The scammer claims the original paperwork included fine print about covering the company’s “profitability upcharge.”
• Carly remains firm and skeptical, stating, “I paid a lot of money to get my car fixed.” (03:00)
• Jim tries to justify the fee with vague, absurd reasons, such as needing to pay for family vacations:
  • Jim: "We need to have a living, you know, we need to put food on the table for our families. We need to go on vacations." (03:23)
• Carly responds indignantly:
  • Carly: “That’s why you guys charge as much as you... I mean, I’m sure I got overcharged for whatever...” (03:32)

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3. Absurd Escalation and Personal Attacks

(04:59–06:06)

• The prank takes a zanier turn with Jim mentioning a group vacation to Dollywood, as if to justify the charge.

• When Carly protests loudly, Jim becomes more flippant and personal:

  • Jim: “If you would stop yelling at me, I’m not paying for your vacation. No, but we've already put the deposit down at Dollywood.” (04:29)
  • Carly argues she’ll call her credit card company and suggests taking it up with the Better Business Bureau.
  • Jim, doubling down, says he’ll actually charge her more for being “grumpy”:
    • Jim: "I was going to make it 80, but you're so grumpy. About it. I'm going to make it 85, which is the next." (04:41)
  • Carly threatens to hang up and file disputes.

• The call veers into the bizarre:

  • Jim: “Have you ever met a person whose voice gets inside your head and then just bounces around like a ball in a racquetball court?” (05:11)
  • Carly: “Well, you’re really starting to irritate me.” (05:22)

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4. The Reveal: Carly Learns It’s a Prank

(06:18–07:13)

• After hanging up, Jim calls Carly again, now revealing the prank.

  • Jim: “Your best friend Robin just phone scammed you. This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show…” (06:27)
  • Carly: “[shocked] Oh, my god. Dude, I was so pissed… I was on hold, actually right now calling my credit card company just in case somebody had tried to call and charge my card…” (06:44)

• Notable memorable reaction:

  • Jim: “No offense, but you really do have one of those voices.” (07:03)
  • Carly [laughing, relieved]: “Yeah, thanks.” (07:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jim (Scammer): "We're upcharging everybody an extra $10 an hour." (02:41)
• Carly: "But you're not doing any work on my car, right?" (03:14)
• Jim: "It's the upcharge for the profitability. The garage. We're not making as much. We need to make money. Like, we need to have a living, you know, we need to put food on the table for our families. We need to go on vacations.” (03:23)
• Carly: "That's why you guys charge as much as you... I'm sure I got overcharged for whatever, you know, the small stuff that you guys did." (03:32)
• Jim: “We've already put the deposit down at Dollywood.” (04:29)
• Carly: “I’ll call my credit card company now and I’ll tell them to cancel.” (04:46)
• Jim: “Have you ever met a person whose voice gets inside your head and then just bounces around like a ball in a racquetball court?” (05:11)
• Carly [incredulous]: “You know what? Thank you. Bye.” (06:03)
• Jim (revealing the prank): “Your best friend Robin just phone scammed you. This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show…” (06:27)
• Carly: "I was on hold calling my credit card company just in case..." (06:44)

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Important Timestamps

• Start of show—with scam setup: 01:41
• Scammer begins call with Carly: 02:04
• Carly starts to catch on and push back: 02:43–03:32
• Discussion about the "family vacation" and escalation: 04:18–04:41
• Threatening to call the credit card company/BBB: 04:46–04:53
• Prank reveal and Carly’s reaction: 06:18–07:13

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Episode Tone

• The segment is playful and irreverent, with over-the-top explanations and mock frustration from the scammer.
• Carly’s reactions are authentic, moving from confusion to genuine anger and finally relief and laughter at the reveal.
• The cast plays along with deadpan delivery and exaggeration, typical of The Bert Show's lighthearted, conversational style.

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Takeaway

This “Vault: Phone Scam” episode is a classic Bert Show mix of improv comedy, relatable real-world frustration, and a satisfying twist. Carly’s candid responses—and Jim’s ridiculous justifications for the upcharge—make for a hilarious, memorable bit that highlights why listeners love these call-in pranks.

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Transcript

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[Host]

Hey, the Birch Show.

[Carly]

All right, Jeff.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Brand new Birch show phone scam. Calling up a woman who had some car repairs done and, you know, she's got her car back and everything's working, but I dial her up because I need to talk to her about the added charges we're gonna put on her credit card.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Hello?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Hi, I'm looking for Carly.

[Carly]

Yes, this is.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Hey, Carly. How are you?

[Carly]

I'm good. Who's this?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

This is Jim Danic. I was the one you were dealing with the most when you brought your car in.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Working okay?

[Carly]

Yeah, it's working fine now.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

All right, according to the paperwork here, we did some brake work and we did the timing belt and. Okay. And fuel injector stuff and. All right, listen, I just want to give you a heads up. Tomorrow morning, as you know, as indicated when you were in here, tomorrow morning, we're going to be doing the upcharge of $10 an hour. And you. We were on your car for eight and a half, so it's 85 bucks.

[Carly]

No, when I take my car up, I paid for it. Like I paid for everything when I picked it up.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Right. But as explained that if the garage, on average, if it's not turning the profit that it should be, we can upcharge any customer we've had within the past 30 days. So we're upcharging everybody an extra 10 bucks an hour.

[Carly]

I paid a lot of money to get my car fixed.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Right. Well, when you filled out the paperwork, you indicated that you're okay with the upcharge.

[Carly]

I know that there's a parts and labor fee that goes.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Yeah, this is part of the labor.

[Carly]

But you're not doing any work on my car, Right?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

The work's already done.

[Carly]

I know. That's what I'm just saying. You're not doing any work on my car. I've already been charged for it. So why are you going to be charging me for work that you're not doing?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

It's the upcharge for the profitability. The garage. We're not making as much. We need to make money. Like, we need to have a living, you know, we need to put food on the table for our families. We need to go on vacations.

[Carly]

Well, yeah, but that's why you guys charge as much as you. As much as you charge. I mean, I'm sure I got overcharged for whatever, you know, the small stuff that you guys did.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

You don't pay.

[Carly]

Overcharged every bill, every air filter, everything that I actually didn't really need. And so I actually paid more then I'm not going to pay more now. You're not even doing anything to my car, right?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Well, no, but you agreed to it.

[Carly]

No, I didn't agree to it.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

You signed the paperwork. It was in the fine tab.

[Carly]

There's nothing. I have my receipt because I keep everything. If I need to, I'll get my receipt and I'll check over everything and.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

You'Ll see the profitability upcharge. Listen, let me bottom line it for you.

[Carly]

No, there's no bottom. The bottom line is that I'm not gonna. That this is crap. I'm not gonna pay you guys because you guys aren't making any money. So you're charging people for work that hasn't even been done.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

I'm gonna bottom line it for you. We're doing a joint family vacation. Todd and his wife and his two kids and me and June and our three kids. We're all going to Dolly.

[Carly]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

You know what? If you would stop yelling at me, I'm not paying for your vacation. No, but we've already paid. We've put the deposit down at Dollywood.

[Carly]

Are you telling me that you've already charged my credit card the amount of money this $80 that you say you've already charged my credit card?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Well, I was going to make it 80, but you're so grumpy. About it. I'm going to make it 85, which is the next. Oh, my God.

[Carly]

You know what? I'll call my credit card company now and I'll tell them. I'll tell them to cancel. What? I paid for you already.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

I have your.

[Carly]

The better business viewer. I'm sure that they'll want to hear something like that. I've never heard of anything like this.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Well, maybe you should read the fine print.

[Carly]

I did. I read the receipt. I read the receipt.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Oh, man.

[Martha Stewart]

It says.

[Carly]

It's exactly in there. It says parts. And you know what? I'm going to get. Hold on. I'm going to get that receipt because that's ridiculous.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Have you ever met a person whose voice gets inside your head and then just bounces around like a ball in a racquetball court?

[Carly]

Oh, what are you talking about?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Your voice is in my head.

[Carly]

Well, you're really starting to irritate me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

But you know what?

[Carly]

Is your supervisor there? Because I don't think that this is. I've been. I've been so. Wait a second now. I've been coming there for all this time and now I've never had a problem with you, with. What is this thing? This upcharge the profit and now all of a sudden, profitability. Whatever bull that is that you're talking about. But that's not. I'm sorry. I paid for the service. That my car was done and I'm done. Thank you.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

The sound of your voice is pushing on the back of my arm.

[Carly]

You know what? I'll take care of it then. I'll just hang up on the telephone, and if you decide to charge my card, then you can have your problem dealing with it then. So thank you. Have a good day. Thank you.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Are you married? Are you married?

[Carly]

No, I'm not married, and I'm not talking to you. Thank you.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Boyfriend?

[Carly]

No.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Oh, no surprise there. Listen, it's.

[Carly]

You know what? Thank you. Bye.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Hello? Are you there? Hello?

[Martha Stewart]

Hello?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Hi, is this Carly?

[Carly]

Yes, it is.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

It's Jim again. Jim's.

[Carly]

You know what?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Hold on.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Hold.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

Your best friend Robin just phone scammed you. This is actually Jeff with the bird. Showed all the hits. Q100.

[Carly]

What?

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

And she thought this would be funny. It's like a joke.

[Carly]

Oh, my God. Dude, I was so pissed. You don't even know I was on the phone. I was on hold, actually, right now calling my credit card company just in case somebody had tried to call and charge my card because I figured that I would call beforehand. Oh, my God. You don't understand because they totally ring me anyway when I pay for my car in the first place.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

No offense, but you really do have one of those voices. Thanks and laughs.

[Carly]

Yeah, thanks.

[Jim Danic (Scammer)]

We will.

[Host]

We will scam you. Hey the Bird Show.

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