The Bert Show – "Vault: Phone Scam – Car Repair With Extra Charges"

Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Original Air Date: December 18, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into one of their notorious “Phone Scam” segments. The premise centers around a woman named Carly, who recently had her car serviced. She receives a call from a fake repair shop worker demanding an absurd “profitability upcharge” after her payment was already settled. The entire bit is light-hearted, characterized by witty banter and aimless justifications for the extra charge, ultimately revealing itself as a prank orchestrated by her friend Robin.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Setting the Scene: The Phone Scam Premise

(01:41–02:04)

• Introduction to the prank: Jim Danic (the scammer) calls Carly under the guise of discussing post-repair billing.
• Carly is told there is an $85 “upcharge” because the garage “didn’t meet profit expectations.”

Host: “Brand new Bert Show phone scam. Calling up a woman who had some car repairs done… she’s got her car back and everything’s working, but I dial her up because I need to talk to her about the added charges we're gonna put on her credit card.”

2. Carly’s Confusion and Pushback

(02:06–04:59)

• Carly immediately questions the legitimacy of this upcharge, insisting she already paid in full.
• The scammer claims the original paperwork included fine print about covering the company’s “profitability upcharge.”
• Carly remains firm and skeptical, stating, “I paid a lot of money to get my car fixed.” (03:00)
• Jim tries to justify the fee with vague, absurd reasons, such as needing to pay for family vacations:
  • Jim: "We need to have a living, you know, we need to put food on the table for our families. We need to go on vacations." (03:23)
• Carly responds indignantly:
  • Carly: “That’s why you guys charge as much as you... I mean, I’m sure I got overcharged for whatever...” (03:32)

3. Absurd Escalation and Personal Attacks

(04:59–06:06)

• The prank takes a zanier turn with Jim mentioning a group vacation to Dollywood, as if to justify the charge.

• When Carly protests loudly, Jim becomes more flippant and personal:

  • Jim: “If you would stop yelling at me, I’m not paying for your vacation. No, but we've already put the deposit down at Dollywood.” (04:29)
  • Carly argues she’ll call her credit card company and suggests taking it up with the Better Business Bureau.
  • Jim, doubling down, says he’ll actually charge her more for being “grumpy”:
    • Jim: "I was going to make it 80, but you're so grumpy. About it. I'm going to make it 85, which is the next." (04:41)
  • Carly threatens to hang up and file disputes.

• The call veers into the bizarre:

  • Jim: “Have you ever met a person whose voice gets inside your head and then just bounces around like a ball in a racquetball court?” (05:11)
  • Carly: “Well, you’re really starting to irritate me.” (05:22)

4. The Reveal: Carly Learns It’s a Prank

(06:18–07:13)

• After hanging up, Jim calls Carly again, now revealing the prank.

  • Jim: “Your best friend Robin just phone scammed you. This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show…” (06:27)
  • Carly: “[shocked] Oh, my god. Dude, I was so pissed… I was on hold, actually right now calling my credit card company just in case somebody had tried to call and charge my card…” (06:44)

• Notable memorable reaction:

  • Jim: “No offense, but you really do have one of those voices.” (07:03)
  • Carly [laughing, relieved]: “Yeah, thanks.” (07:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jim (Scammer): "We're upcharging everybody an extra $10 an hour." (02:41)
• Carly: "But you're not doing any work on my car, right?" (03:14)
• Jim: "It's the upcharge for the profitability. The garage. We're not making as much. We need to make money. Like, we need to have a living, you know, we need to put food on the table for our families. We need to go on vacations.” (03:23)
• Carly: "That's why you guys charge as much as you... I'm sure I got overcharged for whatever, you know, the small stuff that you guys did." (03:32)
• Jim: “We've already put the deposit down at Dollywood.” (04:29)
• Carly: “I’ll call my credit card company now and I’ll tell them to cancel.” (04:46)
• Jim: “Have you ever met a person whose voice gets inside your head and then just bounces around like a ball in a racquetball court?” (05:11)
• Carly [incredulous]: “You know what? Thank you. Bye.” (06:03)
• Jim (revealing the prank): “Your best friend Robin just phone scammed you. This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show…” (06:27)
• Carly: "I was on hold calling my credit card company just in case..." (06:44)

Important Timestamps

• Start of show—with scam setup: 01:41
• Scammer begins call with Carly: 02:04
• Carly starts to catch on and push back: 02:43–03:32
• Discussion about the "family vacation" and escalation: 04:18–04:41
• Threatening to call the credit card company/BBB: 04:46–04:53
• Prank reveal and Carly’s reaction: 06:18–07:13

Episode Tone

• The segment is playful and irreverent, with over-the-top explanations and mock frustration from the scammer.
• Carly’s reactions are authentic, moving from confusion to genuine anger and finally relief and laughter at the reveal.
• The cast plays along with deadpan delivery and exaggeration, typical of The Bert Show's lighthearted, conversational style.

Takeaway

This “Vault: Phone Scam” episode is a classic Bert Show mix of improv comedy, relatable real-world frustration, and a satisfying twist. Carly’s candid responses—and Jim’s ridiculous justifications for the upcharge—make for a hilarious, memorable bit that highlights why listeners love these call-in pranks.