Vault: Phone Scam - High School Friend

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: Phone Scam - High School Friend"

Date: December 18, 2025
Host(s): The Bert Show Cast
Overview:
This episode of The Bert Show features one of the show's signature phone scams—a playful and awkward call reconnecting two “old high school friends” after nearly a decade apart. The bit showcases the show’s classic mix of humor, mild discomfort, escalating requests, and an eventual reveal that it’s all a joke. The cast delivers laughs while poking fun at the notion of old friendships suddenly resurfacing with ulterior motives.

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Main Theme

The episode centers around a phone scam segment where a Bert Show cast member (posing as “Russell”) calls Steve, a high school friend he hasn’t seen or spoken to in nine years, under the pretense of borrowing a significant sum of money for a questionable boat purchase. The exchange starts out nostalgic and friendly but quickly veers into awkward and uncomfortable territory, with the absurdity gradually escalating until the real intent—a prank organized by Steve's sister—is unveiled.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Awkward High School Reconnection

• Nostalgic Greetings (01:10–01:49)
  • Russell calls Steve, catching him off-guard with his enthusiasm.
  • Both reminisce briefly about their last interaction and high school memories:
    • "Long time no talk." — Podcast Host (01:32)
    • "Nine years since we've talked. Class of 1993." — Podcast Host (01:41)
  • Steve is surprised but polite, playing along as Russell updates him on his life in Vegas.

2. The Bold Money Request

• The Boat Pitch (02:50–05:06)
  • Russell, after only a few minutes of reacquaintance, pivots to an outlandish request: could Steve lend him $1600–$2200 to help buy a boat for Lake Mead?
  • He justifies the ask with convoluted details about other “friends and family” chipping in, and promises a signed IOU, an interest rate around 6.5%, and “full use of the boat” for Steve should he ever visit Vegas.
    • "If there's any way you can come through with like $2,000, I will sign a note... starting at the beginning of next year, a hundred dollars a month until it's paid off." — Podcast Host (04:22)
  • Steve’s confusion and discomfort become evident as he deflects:
    • "I just don't know that I got two grand floating around to give you my friend." — Podcast Guest (05:06)

3. Escalation and Guilt-Tripping

• Russell’s Guilt Trip (05:14–06:00)
  • Russell presses harder, prying into Steve's finances ("How much do you make a year?").
    • "We haven't even talked in nine years, man... I'll do anything for you. You want me to pick you up at the airport? You want me to put you up in the guest room?" — Podcast Guest (05:18)
    • "You got a house with a guest room." — Podcast Host (05:30)
  • Steve, clearly flustered, remains polite but firm, trying to let Russell down gently.
    • "It's not like I went into investment banking, man. Banking is not what I do." — Podcast Guest (05:34)

4. The Big Reveal — It's a Phone Scam

• Revelation and Relief (06:06–06:36)
  • Just as the discomfort peaks, Russell melodramatically announces that Steve’s “page is out of the yearbook,” symbolizing the (faux) end of their friendship.
    • "Forget it. Your page is out of the yearbook." — Podcast Host (05:56)
    • "Don't be like that, man." — Podcast Guest (06:00)
  • The scam is finally revealed, with Russell breaking character and explaining that Steve’s sister Julie set him up for a Bert Show phone scam:
    • "Tell her that the phone scam was successful. This is Jeff from the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And she just phone stamped you." — Podcast Host (06:36)
    • "Jules is gonna get it so bad." — Podcast Guest (06:36)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:41] Podcast Host: “Nine years since we've talked. Class of 1993.”
• [04:22] Podcast Host: “If there's any way you can come through with like $2,000, I will sign a note... starting at the beginning of next year, a hundred dollars a month until it's paid off.”
• [05:18] Podcast Guest: “We haven't even talked in nine years, man. Best friends forever. I'll do anything for you. You want me to pick you up at the airport? You want me to put you up in the guest room, you know, you want me to show you around Atlanta?”
• [05:56] Podcast Host: “Forget it. Your page is out of the yearbook.”
• [06:36] Podcast Host: “This is Jeff from the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And she just phone stamped you.”
• [06:36] Podcast Guest: “Jules is gonna get it so bad.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------|------------| | Start of Reconnection | 01:10 | | The Boat Money Request | 02:50 | | Awkward Escalation | 05:14 | | Scam Reveal | 06:06 | | Guest Realizes the Prank | 06:36 |

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Episode Takeaways

• Classic Bert Show Humor: This phone scam highlights the Bert Show’s ability to blend nostalgia, absurdity, and escalating social discomfort for comedic effect.
• Relatable Awkwardness: The segment gently pokes fun at those awkward reach-outs from old acquaintances—especially when ulterior motives are involved.
• Listener Involvement: The prank wouldn’t work without the involvement of Steve’s sister, showing how the show’s content is often listener-driven.
  • "Jules is gonna get it so bad." — Steve, as he realizes he’s been setup (06:36)

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Final Thoughts

For long-time listeners, this is classic Bert Show—fun, fast-paced, and mischievous, demonstrating the cast’s chemistry and talent for social improv. For new listeners, it’s an instantly engaging taste of the show’s playful brand of radio entertainment, where even awkward moments are part of the fun.

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Transcript

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[Podcast Host]

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[Podcast Guest]

Hello?

[Podcast Host]

Steve O. Yeah, hello. Hi Steve.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, this is Steve.

[Podcast Host]

How are you?

[Podcast Guest]

I'm good. How are you?

[Podcast Host]

Good. Russell.

[Podcast Guest]

Russell. Naga in the book.

[Podcast Host]

Russell. Nigga baby.

[Podcast Guest]

Wow. How you been, Steve O. I'm good, Russ. How are you, man?

[Podcast Host]

Things are well. Things are good. Long time no talk.

[Podcast Guest]

I mean, I guess. What are we looking at? Nine years.

[Podcast Host]

Nine years since we've talked. Class of 1993.

[Podcast Guest]

Wow. Where are you, man? How are things?

[Podcast Host]

I'm doing good. I'm spending some time in Vegas. I've lived here for about five years.

[Podcast Guest]

Uh huh.

[Podcast Host]

I got myself a wife.

[Podcast Guest]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Got myself a kid.

[Podcast Guest]

Oh my.

[Podcast Host]

How about you? You still in Georgia?

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, still in Georgia.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

Never nailed down either the. The wife or the kid. But you know, things are, things are going well.

[Podcast Host]

A bachelor in Atlanta, you got to.

[Podcast Guest]

Be tearing it up, you know, I do all right. I'm just, you know, just working hard, mainly just, you know, trying to. Trying to keep the. Keep the career moving forward.

[Podcast Host]

Dude, it's wild how I tracked you down. You ever hear classmates.com?

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. I mean, I've heard of it. I haven't. I haven't.

[Martha Stewart]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So I got on. I got on there and I paid the extra fee and so I got the email address of Connie and then I guess Connie is still talking to Trisha or somebody and she knew where you were and I guess you stay in touch with her or something. Right?

[Podcast Guest]

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So that's how I got your number, so I thought I would just shoot you a line. I was going through the yearbook.

[Podcast Guest]

Good old high school rest, right?

[Podcast Host]

Hey, listen, I wanted to touch base with you on something and I know this is weird because, I mean, you've only kind of reconnected for less than a few minutes now. But listen good. Just going off of. And are you doing okay, like, you know, with the career and stuff?

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, I'm doing all right, like I said. I mean, I'm, you know, working. Working long hours, but. What's up, man?

[Podcast Host]

Well, I just, you know, I know you went on to college and stuff and, and whatnot, and if I'm. If I understand correctly or doing some sort of. I am putting together a thing out here. I'm getting a boat, gonna put it out on Lake Mead. And so I am just reaching out to good friends of mine. I want to see if I can get anywhere from 1600 to $2200 from you. And this will of course be paid back just, you know, to put towards the boat.

[Podcast Guest]

Does that mean what the boat is this. Are you gonna run some sort of expeditions? Is this some sort of.

[Podcast Host]

No, it's for me and Sandy and take out on Lake Mead. It's a big lake here near Vegas, right where the Hoover Dam is. And just something to do, you know.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I got some money from Sandy's parents, some money from my parents. We were able to sell a car. So, you know, we're drumming up the cash. I don't want to finance it. You know, that's how you get in over head and you get screwed up, you know.

[Podcast Guest]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

So if there's any way you can come through with like $2,000, I will sign a note and what I'm going to do is starting at the beginning of next year, hundred dollars a month until it's paid off. And if you want to do like a reasonable interest rate, say six and a quarter, six and a half, I will pay that as well. What I'm going to need to do though is I need to get the money in my hands by like a week from Tuesday, so. But if you just want to put a check in the mail today, I will have it by this time next week and we're good to go, huh? Obviously, anytime you're in Vegas, you are welcome to stay at our place, use the boat, hang out. And this even goes beyond when I've paid it off.

[Podcast Guest]

Right. Man, I mean, I just don't know that I got two grand that floating around to give you My friend.

[Podcast Host]

How much do you make a year?

[Podcast Guest]

We haven't even talked in nine years, man. I mean, best friends forever. I'll do anything for you. I mean, you want me to pick you up at the airport? You want me to put you up in the guest room, you know, you want me to show you around Atlanta?

[Podcast Host]

You got a house. You got a house with a guest room.

[Podcast Guest]

It's not like I went into investment banking, man. Banking is not what I do.

[Podcast Host]

Right. $2,000 is gonna kill you, isn't it?

[Podcast Guest]

It's a big. It's a big chunk of money, man.

[Podcast Host]

And it's not. It's nothing to you. You gotta be in the six figures.

[Podcast Guest]

Well, I.

[Podcast Host]

You know what?

[Podcast Guest]

What? I mean, it's a little sketchy. I mean, I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host]

You know what? Forget it. Your page is out of the yearbook.

[Podcast Guest]

No, no. I mean, don't be like that, man. I mean, no.

[Podcast Host]

The yearbooks, gone. The page is gone. The memory's gone. It's like you never existed. Don't worry about it. I'll let you go. Okay, this is. Now it's getting awkward for both of us. And next time you go out and you have a nice dinner and you have, you know, sushi or whatever it is you eat when you're sitting in your guest room, don't worry about us. And. Yeah, and you know what? One more thing before I let you go. Yeah. You. You still talk to your sister Julie? Yeah, sometimes I tell her that the phone scan was successful. This is Jeff from the Burt show at all the hits Q100. And she just phone stamped you.

[Podcast Guest]

Jules is gonna get it so bad.

[Podcast Host]

We will. We will scam you. The bird show.

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