The Bert Show: "Vault: Phone Scam - High School Friend"

Date: December 18, 2025
Host(s): The Bert Show Cast
Overview:
This episode of The Bert Show features one of the show's signature phone scams—a playful and awkward call reconnecting two “old high school friends” after nearly a decade apart. The bit showcases the show’s classic mix of humor, mild discomfort, escalating requests, and an eventual reveal that it’s all a joke. The cast delivers laughs while poking fun at the notion of old friendships suddenly resurfacing with ulterior motives.

Main Theme

The episode centers around a phone scam segment where a Bert Show cast member (posing as “Russell”) calls Steve, a high school friend he hasn’t seen or spoken to in nine years, under the pretense of borrowing a significant sum of money for a questionable boat purchase. The exchange starts out nostalgic and friendly but quickly veers into awkward and uncomfortable territory, with the absurdity gradually escalating until the real intent—a prank organized by Steve's sister—is unveiled.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Awkward High School Reconnection

• Nostalgic Greetings (01:10–01:49)
  • Russell calls Steve, catching him off-guard with his enthusiasm.
  • Both reminisce briefly about their last interaction and high school memories:
    • "Long time no talk." — Podcast Host (01:32)
    • "Nine years since we've talked. Class of 1993." — Podcast Host (01:41)
  • Steve is surprised but polite, playing along as Russell updates him on his life in Vegas.

2. The Bold Money Request

• The Boat Pitch (02:50–05:06)
  • Russell, after only a few minutes of reacquaintance, pivots to an outlandish request: could Steve lend him $1600–$2200 to help buy a boat for Lake Mead?
  • He justifies the ask with convoluted details about other “friends and family” chipping in, and promises a signed IOU, an interest rate around 6.5%, and “full use of the boat” for Steve should he ever visit Vegas.
    • "If there's any way you can come through with like $2,000, I will sign a note... starting at the beginning of next year, a hundred dollars a month until it's paid off." — Podcast Host (04:22)
  • Steve’s confusion and discomfort become evident as he deflects:
    • "I just don't know that I got two grand floating around to give you my friend." — Podcast Guest (05:06)

3. Escalation and Guilt-Tripping

• Russell’s Guilt Trip (05:14–06:00)
  • Russell presses harder, prying into Steve's finances ("How much do you make a year?").
    • "We haven't even talked in nine years, man... I'll do anything for you. You want me to pick you up at the airport? You want me to put you up in the guest room?" — Podcast Guest (05:18)
    • "You got a house with a guest room." — Podcast Host (05:30)
  • Steve, clearly flustered, remains polite but firm, trying to let Russell down gently.
    • "It's not like I went into investment banking, man. Banking is not what I do." — Podcast Guest (05:34)

4. The Big Reveal — It's a Phone Scam

• Revelation and Relief (06:06–06:36)
  • Just as the discomfort peaks, Russell melodramatically announces that Steve’s “page is out of the yearbook,” symbolizing the (faux) end of their friendship.
    • "Forget it. Your page is out of the yearbook." — Podcast Host (05:56)
    • "Don't be like that, man." — Podcast Guest (06:00)
  • The scam is finally revealed, with Russell breaking character and explaining that Steve’s sister Julie set him up for a Bert Show phone scam:
    • "Tell her that the phone scam was successful. This is Jeff from the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And she just phone stamped you." — Podcast Host (06:36)
    • "Jules is gonna get it so bad." — Podcast Guest (06:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:41] Podcast Host: “Nine years since we've talked. Class of 1993.”
• [04:22] Podcast Host: “If there's any way you can come through with like $2,000, I will sign a note... starting at the beginning of next year, a hundred dollars a month until it's paid off.”
• [05:18] Podcast Guest: “We haven't even talked in nine years, man. Best friends forever. I'll do anything for you. You want me to pick you up at the airport? You want me to put you up in the guest room, you know, you want me to show you around Atlanta?”
• [05:56] Podcast Host: “Forget it. Your page is out of the yearbook.”
• [06:36] Podcast Host: “This is Jeff from the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And she just phone stamped you.”
• [06:36] Podcast Guest: “Jules is gonna get it so bad.”

Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------|------------| | Start of Reconnection | 01:10 | | The Boat Money Request | 02:50 | | Awkward Escalation | 05:14 | | Scam Reveal | 06:06 | | Guest Realizes the Prank | 06:36 |

Episode Takeaways

• Classic Bert Show Humor: This phone scam highlights the Bert Show’s ability to blend nostalgia, absurdity, and escalating social discomfort for comedic effect.
• Relatable Awkwardness: The segment gently pokes fun at those awkward reach-outs from old acquaintances—especially when ulterior motives are involved.
• Listener Involvement: The prank wouldn’t work without the involvement of Steve’s sister, showing how the show’s content is often listener-driven.
  • "Jules is gonna get it so bad." — Steve, as he realizes he’s been setup (06:36)

Final Thoughts

For long-time listeners, this is classic Bert Show—fun, fast-paced, and mischievous, demonstrating the cast’s chemistry and talent for social improv. For new listeners, it’s an instantly engaging taste of the show’s playful brand of radio entertainment, where even awkward moments are part of the fun.