The Bert Show – "Vault: Phone Scam - Work Computer Edition"

Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Aired: January 19, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and mischievous episode from The Bert Show's vault, the cast delivers a classic "Phone Scam" segment. The premise: a new "employee" at an office calls a colleague (Jamie) who's away on vacation, claiming to have found (and snooped through) her personal work computer—unearthing journal entries, photos, and making pointed comments about her relationship! Listeners are treated to a mixture of awkwardness, disbelief, and escalating comedy, ultimately revealing the call as a prank orchestrated by Jamie's office mates.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Setup: An Unlikely Work Crisis

[00:00–00:30]

• The host introduces a fresh Phone Scam:
  • Premise: Jamie, on vacation, is contacted by "Michael Checkaway," a supposed new employee who claims to have borrowed her laptop and discovered private material.
  • Humor is built from the preposterous violation of boundaries and the absurdity of the situation.

The Awkward Call Begins

[00:25–01:15]

• Michael introduces himself, apologizing for interrupting Jamie’s vacation, establishing himself as a new auditor who will work "pretty closely" with her.
• Awkwardness sets in as Jamie tries to piece together the identity of the mysterious caller.

Memorable Exchange:

• “Do you mind me interrupting your vacation here real quick?” —Michael (00:48)

The Personal Revelation & Escalation

[01:16–02:39]

• Michael shifts gears to discuss Jamie’s boyfriend, Brian — a jarring jump for Jamie, who rightly questions how Michael knows about her boyfriend.
• He nonchalantly admits to having browsed her journal and photos on the "borrowed" laptop, stating, “I've been engrossed in them. And I don't think from what I've read. I don't think that Brian and you… I don't think it's gonna work. And I don't think, frankly, he's that into you.” (02:13)

Jamie responds with justified outrage and confusion:

• “Okay, I'm sorry. What was your name again?” —Jamie (02:39)

Boundary-Crossing, Defensiveness, and Absurdity

[02:41–04:21]

• Michael doubles down, describing how he copied Jamie's pictures to a CD, to which Jamie is exasperated and confrontational. She calls the behavior unprofessional and illegal.
• Michael brushes off her concerns and starts offering unwelcome "life advice," commenting on her need for “permission” to see her parents and referencing her bikini photos.

Highlights:

• “Why do you need permission to go see your parents?” —Michael (03:41)
• “Are you kidding me right now?” —Jamie (03:46)
• “I'm gonna create an ad, and I'm gonna put an ad online, and I'm gonna use the picture of you in the bikini from Hawaii.” —Michael (04:32)

Jamie’s incredulity and anger escalate:

• “This is unprofessional. ...You can get into serious trouble for doing this. ...I’m sure that's illegal!” —Jamie (04:15–04:43)

The Reveal: It's a Phone Scam!

[05:23–05:37]

• After multiple protests from Jamie, “Michael” finally drops the act.
• He reveals: “This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And this is a phone scam from everyone in your office who hates Brian.” (05:25–05:33)
• Jamie’s reaction transitions from horror to laughter as she realizes she’s been pranked:
  • “Oh my God. Are you kidding me?... This is horrible. I thought... This guy’s a weirdo. Oh my God.” —Jamie (05:33–05:37)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Michael (the prankster):
  “Needless to say, I've been engrossed in them. And I don't think from what I've read... I don't think that Brian and you... I don't think it's gonna work. And I don't think, frankly, he's that into you.” (02:13)

• Jamie (the target):
  “That was really presumptuous of you to take somebody's computer without knowing.” (03:13)

• Michael:
  “I copied all the pictures onto a cd, so I can do those later.” (03:05)

• Jamie:
  “You can get into serious trouble for doing this. That's personal. That is a personal computer. …I'm sure that's illegal…” (04:43)

• The Reveal:
  “This is actually Jeff with the Bert Show at all the hits Q100. And this is a phone scam from everyone in your office who hates Brian.” (05:25) “Oh my God. This is horrible. I thought... This guy's a weirdo…” —Jamie (05:37)

Key Segments (with Timestamps)

• [00:00] — Intro and setup for the Phone Scam segment
• [00:25] — "Michael" calls Jamie and establishes the ploy
• [01:16] — The conversation turns towards Jamie’s personal life and boyfriend, Brian
• [02:13] — Michael reveals he read Jamie’s journal and implies her relationship is doomed
• [03:05] — Michael claims to have copied her pictures and continues to cross personal boundaries
• [04:32] — Michael threatens to post an ad using Jamie’s bikini photos
• [05:23] — The scam is revealed; Jamie expresses relief and astonishment

Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Mischievous, playful, slightly tense during escalation but ultimately comedic
• Authenticity: The team’s improv skills and Jamie’s genuine emotional responses elevate the realism and the payoff.
• Message: Never leave your laptop unattended—especially if you know Bert Show fans!

Summary for Listeners:
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who enjoys the awkward hilarity of prank calls. The Bert Show delivers another classic phone scam, blending comic timing, escalating stakes, and a big reveal. Jamie’s emotional rollercoaster is full of unforgettable moments—especially as she goes from confusion to outrage to laughter within minutes. Classic morning radio shenanigans.