The Bert Show – "Vault: Playa Dad"
Airdate: November 5, 2025
Episode Theme:
A provocative, contentious conversation with "Dave," a self-proclaimed "player dad" who manages simultaneous romantic relationships in multiple cities—including a wife and child—while keeping each partner in the dark. The hosts, listeners, and callers take him to task for his unapologetic cheating, probing his justifications, emotional logic, and what this lifestyle means for those around him.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Meet "Dave": The Multicity Cheater (01:44 – 03:48)
- Hosts introduce Dave, warning, “You are going to hate this guy. He takes playing to a completely different level." (Host 3, 01:44)
- Dave details his arrangement:
- Wife and son in Boston
- Girlfriend in Atlanta
- Another girlfriend in New York City
- Dave claims his partners are unaware of each other, managing logistics with separate cell phones, apartments, and email accounts.
- "You control what they know, what information they have access to...as far as they know, I'm the man.” (Dave, 03:24)
2. The Morality Debate: Loyalty, Vows, and Justifications (03:48 – 04:28)
- Hosts question his lack of remorse and violation of marriage vows.
- Dave sidesteps moral fault, justifies his actions by claiming to provide for his family.
- When challenged: “Would you say FDR was a good president?...He was sleeping around.” (Dave, 04:26), making a dubious moral equivalence.
3. Juggling the Relationships (04:56 – 06:29)
- Describes intricate logistics:
- Extended multi-week trips with each partner (e.g., "Puerto Rico for three weeks...each week was with a different woman" – Dave, 05:31)
- Sometimes sees wife and girlfriend in the same week
- Uses pet names as a strategy to avoid slipping up (“Nicknames are key...you’re always rotating it so you’re creative and, you know, playful." – Dave, 06:22)
- Hosts incredulous about the system’s emotional toll.
4. Women’s Trust and “The Dream” (07:04 – 07:25)
- Dave’s philosophy: “They want a knight in shining armor...if you tell them what they want to hear, then you’re in. That’s it.” (Dave, 07:04)
- Admits exploiting the romantic expectations of his partners.
5. Listener Calls: Moral Outrage and Real-Life Stories (07:47 – 13:26)
- Multiple callers confront Dave, labeling him as manipulative, egotistical, and damaging.
- Notable Call:
- Caller: “If it’s not such a bad thing you’re doing or you don’t feel like it is, then why don’t you just tell them?” (Caller 2, 07:56)
- Dave: “The laws in the state of Massachusetts would take half my stuff. She would probably leave, and I like most of my stuff. So now what she doesn’t know isn’t hurting her. So why hurt her?” (Dave, 08:06)
- “Is this the values you’re gonna teach your son?” (Caller 1, 09:37)
- Dave: “Live for the moment. Yeah. To be happy.” (Dave, 09:58)
- Caller reaction escalates (emotional and heated exchange):
- “You're a piece of crap. You don't deserve any woman in this world...” (Caller 2, 10:13)
- Host tries to moderate, acknowledging that Dave’s attitude angers many, especially those with experience of betrayal.
6. Cheating as a Societal Problem & “It’s Our Nature” Defense (12:03 – 12:45)
- Dave asserts, “We created the idea of monogamy. We’re all fundamentally animals…there's no monogamy in animals.” (Dave, 12:28)
- Callers argue back that marriage is a conscious choice for monogamy
- “When you get married, that's what creates monogamy.” (Caller 2, 12:37)
7. Dismissiveness, Endgame, and Lack of Repentance (13:02 – 13:27)
- Dave shrugs off the risk of being caught, certain his girlfriends or wife won’t learn the truth.
- “Worst comes to worst, I'm not gonna be alone. I have two other women.” (Dave, 13:13)
- Hosts and callers finish with frustration at Dave’s lack of accountability or self-reflection.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
“You control what they know, what information they have access to...as far as they know, I’m the man.”
– Dave (03:24) -
"You’re living a complete lie with three different women, and to yourself."
– Host 3 (07:30) -
“Live for the moment. Yeah. To be happy.”
– Dave, on what he’d teach his son (09:58) -
"If it’s not such a bad thing you’re doing or you don’t feel like it is, then why don’t you just tell them?"
– Caller 2 (07:56) -
"The laws in the state of Massachusetts would take half my stuff. She would probably leave, and I like most of my stuff. So now what she doesn’t know isn’t hurting her. So why hurt her?”
– Dave on why he keeps secrets (08:06) -
"We created the idea of monogamy. We’re all fundamentally animals."
– Dave, defending cheating (12:28) -
“You're a fantastic role model, Dave. Fantastic. Hope he grows up just like you.”
– Host 3, sarcastically closing the segment (13:27)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 01:44 – Introduction: Setting the stage and introducing Dave
- 03:00 – Dave describes the logistics of juggling three relationships
- 04:03 – Host challenges Dave about fidelity and accountability
- 05:31 – The Puerto Rico vacation ruse revealed
- 07:04 – Dave’s “knight in shining armor” theory about women
- 07:47 – Listeners call in to confront Dave
- 08:06 – Dave’s justification for hiding the truth from his wife
- 09:37 – Questions about how Dave will raise his son
- 10:13 – Emotionally charged caller confrontation
- 12:28 – Dave’s “it’s not natural” defense of cheating
- 13:02 – Dave dismisses risk of being caught and potential fallout
Tone & Style
The episode is energetic, confrontational, and often incredulous. The hosts challenge Dave at every turn, while callers express moral outrage. Dave, for his part, is blasé, confident, sometimes flippant, and unrepentant, providing fodder for heated discussion and listener reflection.
Summary Takeaway:
This episode exposes the manipulations and rationalizations behind serial cheating, while giving voice to the anger and hurt that such behavior inspires. It highlights the ongoing cultural debates around fidelity, honesty, and gender relations—with Dave serving as the lightning rod for the debate, and the Bert Show’s hosts and listenership offering a collective reality check.