Vault: Playa Dad

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: Playa Dad"

Airdate: November 5, 2025
Episode Theme:
A provocative, contentious conversation with "Dave," a self-proclaimed "player dad" who manages simultaneous romantic relationships in multiple cities—including a wife and child—while keeping each partner in the dark. The hosts, listeners, and callers take him to task for his unapologetic cheating, probing his justifications, emotional logic, and what this lifestyle means for those around him.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet "Dave": The Multicity Cheater (01:44 – 03:48)

• Hosts introduce Dave, warning, “You are going to hate this guy. He takes playing to a completely different level." (Host 3, 01:44)
• Dave details his arrangement:
  • Wife and son in Boston
  • Girlfriend in Atlanta
  • Another girlfriend in New York City
• Dave claims his partners are unaware of each other, managing logistics with separate cell phones, apartments, and email accounts.
• "You control what they know, what information they have access to...as far as they know, I'm the man.” (Dave, 03:24)

2. The Morality Debate: Loyalty, Vows, and Justifications (03:48 – 04:28)

• Hosts question his lack of remorse and violation of marriage vows.
• Dave sidesteps moral fault, justifies his actions by claiming to provide for his family.
• When challenged: “Would you say FDR was a good president?...He was sleeping around.” (Dave, 04:26), making a dubious moral equivalence.

3. Juggling the Relationships (04:56 – 06:29)

• Describes intricate logistics:
  • Extended multi-week trips with each partner (e.g., "Puerto Rico for three weeks...each week was with a different woman" – Dave, 05:31)
  • Sometimes sees wife and girlfriend in the same week
• Uses pet names as a strategy to avoid slipping up (“Nicknames are key...you’re always rotating it so you’re creative and, you know, playful." – Dave, 06:22)
• Hosts incredulous about the system’s emotional toll.

4. Women’s Trust and “The Dream” (07:04 – 07:25)

• Dave’s philosophy: “They want a knight in shining armor...if you tell them what they want to hear, then you’re in. That’s it.” (Dave, 07:04)
• Admits exploiting the romantic expectations of his partners.

5. Listener Calls: Moral Outrage and Real-Life Stories (07:47 – 13:26)

• Multiple callers confront Dave, labeling him as manipulative, egotistical, and damaging.
• Notable Call:
  • Caller: “If it’s not such a bad thing you’re doing or you don’t feel like it is, then why don’t you just tell them?” (Caller 2, 07:56)
  • Dave: “The laws in the state of Massachusetts would take half my stuff. She would probably leave, and I like most of my stuff. So now what she doesn’t know isn’t hurting her. So why hurt her?” (Dave, 08:06)
• “Is this the values you’re gonna teach your son?” (Caller 1, 09:37)
  • Dave: “Live for the moment. Yeah. To be happy.” (Dave, 09:58)
• Caller reaction escalates (emotional and heated exchange):
  • “You're a piece of crap. You don't deserve any woman in this world...” (Caller 2, 10:13)
  • Host tries to moderate, acknowledging that Dave’s attitude angers many, especially those with experience of betrayal.

6. Cheating as a Societal Problem & “It’s Our Nature” Defense (12:03 – 12:45)

• Dave asserts, “We created the idea of monogamy. We’re all fundamentally animals…there's no monogamy in animals.” (Dave, 12:28)
• Callers argue back that marriage is a conscious choice for monogamy
• “When you get married, that's what creates monogamy.” (Caller 2, 12:37)

7. Dismissiveness, Endgame, and Lack of Repentance (13:02 – 13:27)

• Dave shrugs off the risk of being caught, certain his girlfriends or wife won’t learn the truth.
• “Worst comes to worst, I'm not gonna be alone. I have two other women.” (Dave, 13:13)
• Hosts and callers finish with frustration at Dave’s lack of accountability or self-reflection.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You control what they know, what information they have access to...as far as they know, I’m the man.”
  – Dave (03:24)

• "You’re living a complete lie with three different women, and to yourself."
  – Host 3 (07:30)

• “Live for the moment. Yeah. To be happy.”
  – Dave, on what he’d teach his son (09:58)

• "If it’s not such a bad thing you’re doing or you don’t feel like it is, then why don’t you just tell them?"
  – Caller 2 (07:56)

• "The laws in the state of Massachusetts would take half my stuff. She would probably leave, and I like most of my stuff. So now what she doesn’t know isn’t hurting her. So why hurt her?”
  – Dave on why he keeps secrets (08:06)

• "We created the idea of monogamy. We’re all fundamentally animals."
  – Dave, defending cheating (12:28)

• “You're a fantastic role model, Dave. Fantastic. Hope he grows up just like you.”
  – Host 3, sarcastically closing the segment (13:27)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:44 – Introduction: Setting the stage and introducing Dave
• 03:00 – Dave describes the logistics of juggling three relationships
• 04:03 – Host challenges Dave about fidelity and accountability
• 05:31 – The Puerto Rico vacation ruse revealed
• 07:04 – Dave’s “knight in shining armor” theory about women
• 07:47 – Listeners call in to confront Dave
• 08:06 – Dave’s justification for hiding the truth from his wife
• 09:37 – Questions about how Dave will raise his son
• 10:13 – Emotionally charged caller confrontation
• 12:28 – Dave’s “it’s not natural” defense of cheating
• 13:02 – Dave dismisses risk of being caught and potential fallout

---

Tone & Style

The episode is energetic, confrontational, and often incredulous. The hosts challenge Dave at every turn, while callers express moral outrage. Dave, for his part, is blasé, confident, sometimes flippant, and unrepentant, providing fodder for heated discussion and listener reflection.

---

Summary Takeaway:
This episode exposes the manipulations and rationalizations behind serial cheating, while giving voice to the anger and hurt that such behavior inspires. It highlights the ongoing cultural debates around fidelity, honesty, and gender relations—with Dave serving as the lightning rod for the debate, and the Bert Show’s hosts and listenership offering a collective reality check.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Dave]

I never looked so good. You look the same. But with this camera, everything looks better.

[Host 1]

Especially me.

[Host 2]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

[Dave]

Selfies check please.

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[Host 3]

The Bird Show I'm going to warn you women right now, you are going to hate this guy. You're just going to hate him. He takes playing to a completely different level. He's got a wife here, he's got a girlfriend there. They're both in the same place. They don't even know it. This guy's a freak.

[Host 1]

This guy called well Actually sent an email originally, and he said that he. You know, it's so easy to have relationships like that because women are. I'm using his word, stupid. And that women will try to believe the dream, you know, that everything is great and glorious, and as long as the women don't find out about each other, and if that's partially them putting on blinders and partially the guy being careful, then it's fine. And he sent us this email. Well, Tracy called him up based on the email and spent about 15 minutes talking to him and convincing him that it would indeed be a public service for him to come on the radio and explain how he has a wife and a child in Boston, a girlfriend in New York City, a girlfriend in Atlanta, and how he took them all to Puerto Rico on vacation in three separate hotels.

[Host 3]

What are we calling this guy?

[Host 1]

His. He's going by the name of Dave.

[Host 3]

Dave.

[Dave]

Wow. Hey, Dave. Hey, Bert.

[Host 3]

Man, you must be tired, dude. He must be really tired.

[Dave]

You need a hobby, you know?

[Host 3]

I guess so. All right, explain this to us again. Now, you. You have a wife here in Atlanta?

[Dave]

No. No, my girlfriend's in Atlanta.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Dave]

Girlfriend's in Atlanta, wife and son in Boston. That's where I grew up. And then I got a girl in New York City.

[Host 3]

And none of them know about each other?

[Dave]

No, sir. Nope.

[Host 3]

And I guess it's easier to do when you have them all living in different cities.

[Dave]

Oh, big time. You just. You just. You control what they know, what information they have access to. So I have a cell phone in each city. You know what I'm saying? My apartment that my company has for me has an unlisted number, so that's not given out. I have a separate email account, so I come and go, and then, as far as they know, I'm the man.

[Caller 1]

How much time do you spend with each person, especially your wife?

[Dave]

Not enough. But I'm on the road in sales, so I'll be in time now for about another three, four weeks. I'll be here in Atlanta.

[Host 3]

And no remorse? No. You don't have no feelings of disloyalty to the family? Nothing?

[Dave]

Well, they're very happy. They're provided for. I mean, I'm on the road a lot, so I don't get to hang out with them as much as I like. But I don't see how I'm doing a bad thing now. When you're married.

[Omaha Steaks Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

You have an affair.

[Host 3]

You know, those. Val. That stupid vow thing that you took? You know, that infidelity thing? That's going on.

[Dave]

Would you say that FDR was a good president?

[Host 3]

I don't know anything about the dude's history.

[Dave]

FDR saved us from the Great Depression and beat the Nazis in World War II. He was sleeping around.

[Host 2]

So you're in sales?

[Host 3]

You sure are.

[Dave]

Yes, ma'.

[Tony or Ryan (Tony and Ryan Podcast)]

Am.

[Caller 1]

But that's not necessarily a compliment.

[Host 1]

No, I just have a question. So you're in Atlanta for three or four weeks and obviously making your sales calls or whatnot, and you have a girlfriend in Atlanta that you spend your time with here?

[Dave]

Yes, I do.

[Host 1]

In the course of that three to four weeks, do you ever take a weekend, like, will you ever see your girlfriend, like, on a Friday, and then get on a plane, go up to Boston for the weekend so you spend some time with your wife and kid, see your wife on the same day, hang out the weekend, and then on Sunday or Monday, whatever day you come back, see your girlfriend, like, you'll obviously see your wife, like, Monday morning and then see your girlfriend again Monday afternoon. And I hope you know what I mean by seeing him.

[Dave]

I do. I do. That won't happen this time, but similar things like that have happened. Yes.

[Host 3]

So you.

[Dave]

You mentioned that. You mentioned the Puerto Rico vacation. That wasn't all at the same time. I told each people that I had a week of business conventions in Puerto Rico, and then the next week or the prior week, depending on when they came, let's hang out. And so I flew them down one after the. So I was in Puerto Rico for three weeks straight, but each week was with a different woman, you understand?

[Host 3]

So there has. There has never been a time where you were intimate with your wife and another one of your girlfriends in the same day or same week?

[Caller 2]

No, no.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[Host 3]

That does happen.

[Host 2]

How often do you call your wife? I mean, because if you're saying you're living in Atlanta for four weeks at a time. Yeah, she might, you know, she must be very frustrated with that. So how often do you talk to her?

[Dave]

Oh, I call her once a day.

[Host 3]

And she has no idea. Have you ever been close to slipping up?

[Dave]

Nicknames are key, like pet names.

[Host 2]

Do you give them all the same pet name?

[Host 1]

Do you call. They all have the same pet name so you don't slip up?

[Dave]

Well, no, that's the thing you can't fix on one, so you're always rotating it so that way you're, like, creative and, you know, playful.

[Host 1]

So everybody's like sweetheart, baby, and lover.

[Dave]

Sure.

[Host 3]

So you never really use names.

[Host 1]

In writing?

[Dave]

I do.

[Host 3]

Unreal.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

Are you open to taking some calls? I mean, I'll tell you now, this isn't going to be pretty, but you aren't even going to come on the radio with us.

[Host 1]

We got it before. Because people are going to want to give feedback on this. Real quick. What is your. When we were talking, you explained that. Explain what? You. What all women want to believe and how that makes your.

[Dave]

They want a knight in shining armor. They want to be swept off their feet. You know, romance novels are like 50 million were sold last year. Everybody wants to buy into this thing, and so if you tell them what they want to hear, then you're in. That's it.

[Host 3]

So it's just all one big. It's all one big game, Just one big costume. It's just.

[Dave]

I mean, it's not a game. I have genuine feelings for these.

[Host 3]

None of your life is.

[Caller 1]

No, you don't.

[Host 3]

None of your life. You're living a complete lie with three different women, and to yourself.

[Caller 1]

You have no respect.

[Dave]

It's not a complete lie. It's my aspect of my time with them.

[Caller 1]

You have no respect for any of these women, so how can you have real feelings for them?

[Dave]

Well, because they're attractive, they're fun, they treat me nice.

[Host 3]

Oh, please.

[Host 2]

Okay, we get it.

[Host 3]

Hi, Shonda, you're on Q100.

[Tony or Ryan (Tony and Ryan Podcast)]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

I just want to ask him, this guy.

[Dave]

What?

[Caller 2]

If it's not such a bad thing he's doing or he doesn't feel like it is, then why don't you just tell him?

[Host 3]

Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, it's not a big deal, right? That's what you said. I mean, you're not doing anything wrong, so why not just tell your wife what's going on?

[Dave]

Well, the laws in the state of Massachusetts would take half my stuff. She would probably leave, and I like most of my stuff. So now what she doesn't know isn't hurting her. So why hurt her?

[Host 3]

What do you sell? I'm just wondering. I'm just curious what you sell.

[Dave]

What's that?

[Host 3]

What do you sell for a living? You said you're a salesman, right?

[Dave]

Yeah, I'd rather not get into it now.

[Host 1]

Let me ask you this, Dave. If you're. Now, let's say. Let's say your wife, because, you know, people marry similar people, has the same philosophy as Dave, and right now she's on some Boston radio station telling the Boston morning show that her fake name is Sarah, and she's got a husband who travels all the time, a boyfriend who Comes over and cleans the pool and another boyfriend who fixed the air conditioner once a month. Would that bother you? Because according to your theory, what people don't know don't hurt them.

[Dave]

That's true. There's no way that would ever happen.

[Host 2]

How do you know?

[Host 3]

How do you know that's what she's saying?

[Host 2]

You're gone for four weeks at a time. How do you know that's not happening?

[Host 3]

Yeah. This radio station in Boston is asking her right now, what if he went to Puerto Rico? All right? And you were there?

[Dave]

No way.

[Caller 2]

We grew up together.

[Dave]

We met in high school. That's it. But then once I started working and I traveled and I left town, then I started meet people, I was like, oh, there's. There's more out there.

[Host 2]

Yeah, but how do you know she's not doing it?

[Dave]

Because I know her.

[Host 3]

Oh, okay.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Dave]

And she's very happy.

[Caller 1]

Okay. Because you're the man.

[Dave]

I treat them. I give them what they want. So if I'm giving them what they want, then how am I the bad guy?

[Caller 1]

Is this. Is this the values you're gonna teach your son? Is this when your son comes up to you and asks for advice? Are you gonna sit him down and tell him exactly what you did? And this is how you live your life?

[Dave]

Well, and, you know, he's only two, so.

[Caller 1]

But eventually he's gonna.

[Dave]

14 years. I probably wouldn't be able to pull this off, but.

[Caller 1]

Are you gonna tell. Are you gonna tell him? This is the way to live life.

[Dave]

Live for the moment. Yeah. To be happy.

[Host 3]

Anybody can be a father. Go ahead.

[Host 2]

No, I was gonna ask the same thing Melissa just did.

[Host 3]

I don't know. Morning, Q100.

[Caller 2]

This is my thing for. For him.

[Dave]

Hello.

[Host 1]

Here we go.

[Caller 2]

Let's go number one. You're a piece of crap. You don't deserve any woman in this world. And let me tell you, little man, you deserve to die if that's the way you feel.

[Caller 1]

Whoa. Wow.

[Dave]

Well, I guess she knows how she feels.

[Caller 2]

Well, yeah. I mean, you know what? I was married for four years, okay? My husband cheated on me, okay? And I didn't know. You know? Great. I didn't know.

[Host 3]

How long was he cheating?

[Caller 2]

Maybe three years out of the whole time we were married.

[Dave]

How'd you catch him?

[Caller 2]

How'd I catch him?

[Dave]

Don't tell him.

[Caller 1]

Don't. Don't say it because he's taking notes. Don't say it.

[Host 3]

Do not tell him.

[Caller 1]

Do not tell him.

[Caller 2]

It's none of your business how I called Him. Just know this, you will get caught.

[Dave]

Right?

[Caller 2]

And when she gets caught, I hope the hell she takes you for everything that you are.

[Host 1]

Hey. Okay, Kim, just a question out of, out of curiosity. Did he ever. Did the guy ever take you to Puerto Rico and would that have made things easier?

[Caller 2]

You know what? It doesn't matter where you take these girls. Puerto Rico is very what you do for them. I don't care how nice it is. It does not matter. You have to know things.

[Host 3]

I just. You know what? Somebody once told me that, you know, if you're married and you have kids and you're messing around on your kids, do this little exercise. The next time that you have your girlfriend and you're in bed with her, picture your son, your two year old son on the foot of the bed looking up at daddy and the other woman.

[Dave]

I'm gonna choose not to do that.

[Host 3]

I'm sure. IQ 100.

[Caller 2]

I just have one point for Dave. He is the reason why all of the women all over the world will not or cannot commit to somebody because of these fools who are out there lying to them every single day.

[Host 3]

Now let me ask you this question because Dave here says that this is not about a man. What he says this is about a woman wanting the whole. Wanting to believe.

[Caller 2]

No, no, no. Yeah. Wanting to believe that they want it to be the truth. They don't want to date someone who's out there just to tell them what they want to hear. I mean, the whole package is about someone who can give them everything and want that person to be the only person in their life. I mean, that's what monogamy is all about.

[Dave]

Yeah, but here's the thing. We didn't. We created the idea of monogamy. We're all fundamentally animals. There's no monogamy in animals.

[Caller 2]

No. When you get married, that's what creates monogamy.

[Caller 1]

Because I'm a man and I've got to do this.

[Host 3]

I've always loved this. I've always loved this argument.

[Caller 2]

It's not in our nature, Dave. And I'm not, you know, you obviously.

[Dave]

You'Re not going to wish me to die, are you?

[Caller 2]

No, no, no, no, no. Obviously you live your life. The to live your life. But I hope, and I'm sorry if this happens, but I hope your girlfriend by chance is listening and hears your voice and hears this whole story.

[Dave]

There is no chance of that happening. She's driving on her.

[Caller 2]

You never ever know. So just remember that stranger things have.

[Host 3]

Happened on this show.

[Dave]

No, she does. She she's driving to work. She. She listens audio tapes when she drives. Power, positive thinking. And worst comes to worst, I'm not gonna be alone. I have two other women.

[Host 1]

What about your kid?

[Dave]

He's a good man.

[Hers Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

He takes him to somebody else, right?

[Host 3]

You're a fantastic role model, Dave. Fantastic. Hope he grows up just like you. Bye bye the bird Show.

[Host 1]

Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America.

[Dave]

I never look so good. You look the same. But with this camera, everything looks better.

[Host 1]

Especially me.

[Host 2]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

[Verizon Announcer]

Selfies check please with Verizon. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro. Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Swords. Root Metrics Data United States 2020 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Tony or Ryan (Tony and Ryan Podcast)]

G' Day America It's Tony and Ryan from the Tony and Ryan Podcast from Down Under.

[Dave]

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[Dave]

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[Tony or Ryan (Tony and Ryan Podcast)]

The Boost Mobile network, together with their roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.

[Dave]

Visit the nearest boost mobile or boostmobile.com.

[Tony or Ryan (Tony and Ryan Podcast)]

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