Vault: Random Women Keep Grabbing Her Boobs.

Summary

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Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show dives into the awkward, funny, and often uncomfortable reality of personal boundaries—specifically, how women who’ve had breast augmentations often find themselves on the receiving end of unsolicited groping from other women. The conversation, led with candidness and humor, explores the social dynamics, the impact of alcohol and environment, and parallels to other types of boundary-crossing behavior (like touching someone’s hair or pregnant belly). Listener calls add relatable stories, making it a lively discussion about consent, body autonomy, and the strange phenomenon of women being most guilty of these boundary blurs.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Big Reveal: Joanna’s Breast Augmentation

• [01:33] Melissa brings up Joanna’s breast augmentation, recounting how speculation in the studio about whether Joanna had the surgery ended with the women being right.
• The cast jokes about who noticed or didn’t notice, revealing that Joanna’s change was rather discreet compared to more overt cases.

Quote:
Will [01:53]: “Don’t clump me into that. I had never even noticed Joanna's breasts until Melissa brought that subject up in a meeting.”

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2. Unwanted Groping by Random Women

• [02:05] Melissa describes a new challenge: when she tells other women she’s had implants, they sometimes just reach out and grab her breasts, without asking for permission.
• It’s not just acquaintances; random women, often in bars and under the influence of alcohol, are the main culprits.
• The panel expresses collective discomfort and disbelief at this behavior.

Quote:
Melissa [02:23]: “Random women are just grabbing my boobs… They don’t say, ‘can I feel them?’ They just go for it.”

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3. The Influence of Other Women’s Openness

• [02:32] Katie and Melissa discuss how women who are open—sometimes flagrantly so—about their procedures may set a precedent that others then apply generally, leading to this normalized groping.
• Joanna shares an office anecdote about a saleswoman excitedly showing off her new breasts.
• The group debates whether these bold individuals “ruined it” by normalizing breast-touching as a post-op social ritual.

Quote:
Joanna [03:16]: “As soon as she walked in... she was showing everybody in the office. So it just takes one woman to really sort of set the mold for everybody else.”

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4. Personal Boundaries & Social Contexts

• [03:37] Joanna describes another episode at a charity event where her wife, Stacey, was groped by a listener.
• The cast explores how alcohol and environment play a role; most incidents occur in social, often boozy, spaces.
• The panel notes that, tellingly, men do not behave this way—this is largely a “woman thing.”

Quote:
Melissa [04:09]: “They were, like, full on, like, handfuls and squeezing them… You just look at them, you don’t want to embarrass them, you don’t want to knock them out.”

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5. Comparison to Other Body Boundary Issues

• [04:22] Katie likens this behavior to “pregnant belly syndrome”—people touching a pregnant woman’s stomach without permission.
• The cast acknowledges it also happens with people’s hair—especially big, attention-getting hair.

Quote:
Katie [04:24]: “It’s like pregnant belly syndrome... they want to touch your silicone or your saline without asking. It’s rude.”

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6. Caller Stories & More Parallels

• [05:33] A female caller shares her “big hair problem,” explaining how strangers feel entitled to touch her hair, particularly when drinking.
• The hosts and Katie note this also happens to her with her hair—women combing fingers through it uninvited.

Quote:
Caller [05:38]: “You could have just wiped your butt, who knows? But they always feel the need to grab my hair.”

Joanna [06:06]: “You just need to keep your hands to yourself. Women. Because it’s a woman thing, it’s not a dude thing.”

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Joanna [02:32]: “Do you think that women who've had breast augmentation... have ruined it for you?”
• Melissa [03:29]: “I mean whoever it is—would really appreciate it if you keep your tops on because it's really starting to get on my nerves.”
• Caller [05:38]: “I don’t have the boob problem. I have the hair problem... I can kind of give them the look like, ‘please don’t do that.’ Like, I mean, it’s my hair, not yours.”
• Joanna [06:06]: “It’s a woman thing, it’s not a dude thing.”

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:33] Introduction of breast augmentation topic; studio speculation and the ‘reveal’
• [02:05] Melissa details the new issue—random women grabbing her boobs
• [02:40] Discussion of how overt women post-surgery set new (problematic) precedents
• [03:37] Joanna recalls her wife’s experience being groped at a charity event
• [04:22] Comparing to “pregnant belly syndrome” and setting universal boundaries
• [05:33] Caller shares “big hair problem”—touching without permission
• [06:06] Hosts wrap up the point: “keep your hands to yourself,” especially for women

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode uses the cast’s trademark comedic, irreverent, and honest panel talk to wrestle with real issues of body autonomy and consent among women—often in surprising and funny ways. While the tone remains lighthearted, the underlying message is clear: no matter how curious or well-intentioned, touching someone’s body or hair without permission is never appropriate, and it’s time for everyone—especially women—to respect each other’s boundaries.

Perfect for listeners who enjoy frank, relatable talk radio about modern social dynamics and “girl code” gone awry, with plenty of laughs along the way.

Transcript

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[Joanna]

The Burch Show Joanna she's got some beef here.

[Melissa]

Thanks to a little segment that we call Just curious. Everybody knows now that I've had a breast augmentation, right?

[Joanna]

Yeah, we should back this up because we were all speculating in studio if producer Joanna had the surgery or not.

[Melissa]

Right?

[Joanna]

And I think the guy said no. All the women said yes. And the women were right.

[Will]

Don't clump me into that. I had never even noticed Joanna's breasts until Melissa brought that subject up in a meeting. Like she's not.

[Katie]

Anyway, they were trying to guess and everybody thought and I said yes. And so then I was right. Go ahead.

[Melissa]

So now whenever I go out, I'm not afraid to tell. You know, if someone asks, I'll Tell you yes or no. Well, I've noticed that whenever I go out now, if someone asks me if they're real or not and I say yes, they don't ask if they can grab them, they just go ahead and start grabbing.

[Katie]

And I'm not random strangers.

[Melissa]

Yes. Random women are just grabbing my boobs and it's really. They don't say, can I feel them? They just go for it. They just go in for it.

[Radio Host]

Really?

[Katie]

Do you think that women who've had breast augmentation who do the. I don't care if you look at them. Let me show them to you. Do you think they have ruined it for you?

[Melissa]

Yes. Yeah, let's. You know, I don't know who does that. Like, hey, just look at my boobs. I'm not okay with that. I'm very uncomfortable with people just coming up and grabbing them. Mind you, we're usually in a bar so they've had a few drinks and they get a little liquid courage so they think they can just come and grab. But I just wanna put it out there that it's very uncomfortable and I don't appreciate it.

[Will]

But there are some.

[Katie]

That's rude.

[Will]

There are some women. Cause if I remember correctly, when you got yours, it was like a low key thing because there are some women who announce that they're saving up for it, then they go get em, then they're flashing people.

[Joanna]

As soon as they get them, they're willing to show anybody. I worked with a saleswoman in Dallas. Soon as she walked in, she was gone for a couple of weeks. Comes in, she was showing everybody in the office. So it just takes one woman to really sort of set the mold for everybody else.

[Katie]

She's ruined it for you.

[Melissa]

Yeah. I mean whoever it is. And all those women out there would really appreciate it if you keep your tops on because it's really starting to get on my nose.

[Joanna]

I've seen it happen to Stacy, my wife, at a charity event one night. Yes. Random woman, buzz listener. Hey, you're Bert from the bird show, right? You're. Stacy doesn't even ask. Went right for him.

[Will]

What did she do?

[Joanna]

Went right for him. Grabbed Stacey's chest. Charity event.

[Will]

What did Stacy do?

[Joanna]

I think Stacey was just buzzed enough to like laugh it off. But then the next day she' did that really happen?

[Melissa]

That is so bizarre. And then the worst part is that the most. I cannot imagine doing that. The most recent time it happened, I didn't have a bra on. So that's an even more violation because at least With a bra, you have, like, a little, you know, barrier.

[Katie]

Barrier.

[Melissa]

This one I didn't. And it was really just. And they were, like, full on, like, handfuls and squeezing them. Do you back away and touched them like that?

[Will]

Do you back away?

[Melissa]

Yes. And I was just. You just look at them. You don't want to embarrass them. You don't want to knock them out.

[Katie]

It's like pregnant belly syndrome.

[Will]

Slap their hands.

[Katie]

And people who will touch a pregnant woman's belly without asking is like, they want to touch your silicone or your saline without asking. This rude.

[Melissa]

Ask me questions. I'll tell you all about it. I'll walk you through the surgery. But I just don't. God, I've never tried this. I'm surprised.

[Joanna]

I'm surprised that people even, like, random people even ask you about it. Like, it took us months to ask you about it. And we work with you.

[Melissa]

I mean, I think they're just. I think women feel more comfortable. Like yesterday, some girls at work were going around asking me if I had my boobs done or not. And mind you, I'm a little more covered up at work. I think, like, yesterday I had a turtleneck on and they were asking me. So I don't mind it. I just don't want you grabbing them. Has a guy ever done it? No. Oh, good. So a guy's never come up and

[Katie]

said, are they real or not?

[Melissa]

And they asked me. I've had guys ask but never touch. So they ask, they get the answer, and then they don't respond the way women do.

[Katie]

So this is all girls?

[Melissa]

This is all women.

[Katie]

I've never tried it.

[Melissa]

Well, now you're in a relationship now. But I was going to say you should do that.

[Joanna]

Go ahead and give her a feel. Good morning. Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. Hi. I want to let her know because I don't have the boob problem. I have the hair problem. Kind of like the pregnancy problem. I have really, really big hair. So whenever people see me, especially in a drunk environment, they always feel the need to touch my hair. I mean, like, I can kind of give them the look like, please don't do that. Like, I mean, it's my hair, not yours. You could have just wiped your butt. Who knows? But they always feel the need to grab my hair. Oh, my. You have really, really nice hair. So just let her know. It just comes with the territory, I guess. Really nice boobs and really nice hair and really nice bellies like to get rubbed on.

[Joanna]

You just need to keep your hands to yourself. Women. Because it's a woman thing, it's not a do thing.

[Katie]

Yes, because I've seen people do that to Katie because Katie has nice hair. And there are people to go up and we'll rub their fingers. They'll comb it with their fingers like, oh, you have such pretty hair. We're like, what are you doing the

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