Vault: Re-Treads Explained: The Sneaky Way Guys Keep Their Partner Count Low

Summary

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The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: Re-Treads Explained: The Sneaky Way Guys Keep Their Partner Count Low
Date: April 1, 2026
Theme: What are “retreads” in dating culture, why do men return to ex-partners, and is the motivation comfort, convenience, or something deeper (or simpler)?

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Episode Overview

In this vintage-style “vault” episode, the Bert Show cast dives into the male dating strategy of “retreads”—a term for old romantic partners men return to for hookups without adding to their partner count. The team debates whether “retreading” is really a matter of comfort and affection, or just a simple, convenient move. The conversation is playful and candid, filled with jokes, insightful gender observations, and the group's signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Are “Retreads”?

• Definition:

  • The male hosts explain that a “retread” is an ex-girlfriend or former hookup that guys return to for sex.
  • “Retread” is coined to capture the idea of someone you go back to—like putting an old tire back on for another spin.
  • Some men even program their ex’s contact name as “Retread” in their phones.
    • (03:19 – Male Host)

• Male vs. Female Motivation:

  • Female host believed only women did this, to keep their “number” (partner count) low.
    • (03:00)
  • Male hosts clarify that men are motivated by comfort and certainty—returning to a “sure thing.”
    • (03:53 – Male Co-host: “Guys do it cause it’s a sure thing, right?”)

2. Why Do Guys Do It? Simplicity vs. Complexity

• Men as “Simple Creatures”:

  • The men lean into the stereotype: Men are straightforward, not emotionally complex when it comes to sex/relationships.
  • “Simple creatures, all of us.” (05:32 – Male Co-host)
  • They use sports and routine analogies to reinforce how “easy” their logic can be.
    • (05:14 – Male Co-host: “If you watch [a ballplayer’s] routine…that’s the most complicated thing any man in the history of men have ever done.”)

• Is It About Comfort or Just Access?

  • The female hosts suspect males just gave the “comfort” reason because a woman was present.
    • “Do you say that because you were the audience, that they wanted to make it more touchy feely?” (05:10 – Female Co-host)
    • Men may avoid seeming insensitive and thus overcomplicate their reasons around women.

3. Women’s Perspective: Partner Counts & Emotional Strategy

• For Women, “Retreading” Keeps Numbers Low:
  • Female hosts note women are often motivated by the desire to avoid increasing their sexual partner count—what’s jokingly called the “skank number.”
    • (04:36 – Female Host: “When women do something, it always...has something with more depth...You’re trying to keep your number down.”)
  • “We couldn’t care less” – Men don’t share this concern (04:55 – Male Host)

4. The “Depth Chart” Analogy

• Women Compare It to Sports:
  • “Retreads” are likened to backup players on a football team—the safety net if the first-string falls through.
  • “Those retreads are your safety nets…not the people you’d initially think, I’d really like to hook up with tonight.” (08:20 – Female Host)
  • Sometimes, a backup (retread) can become a main partner, but it’s rare.

5. How Do You Know If You’re a Retread?

• Calling Patterns:
  • Late-night, last-minute calls on weekends likely mean you’re a “retread” rather than a new, prioritized romance.
    • (06:43–07:10, Male hosts discuss dating vs. “hedging your bets” with a retread for a sure late-night option.)
  • “If he’s going back time and time and time again and it’s only for…Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night...” (09:45 – Female Host)

6. Notable Jokes and Gender Banter

• “If women were just sluttier, you would save yourselves a lot of heartbreak.”
  • (09:05 – Male Co-host, tongue-in-cheek, suggesting if women gave in to guys in bars, the cycle of retreading wouldn’t be necessary)
• “The first guy you talk to in a bar you should sleep with…you’re saving other women immediately.”
  • (09:31 – Female Host, sarcastic riffing off earlier comment)
• “That’s why we’re able to convince you at 8 o’clock on Saturday night that we really, really do love you. But not until midnight.”
  • (10:04 – Male Co-host, highlighting how guys manipulate emotions for late-night hookups)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Simplicity:

  • “Simple creatures, all of us.” (05:32 – Male Co-host)
  • “If you watch [a ballplayer’s] routine…that’s the most complicated thing any man in the history of men have ever done.” (05:14 – Male Co-host)

• On Women’s Motivations:

  • “When women do something, it always has…some ulterior meaning…Women are trying to keep their numbers down.” (04:36 – Female Host)

• On the “Depth Chart” Sports Analogy:

  • “Those retreads are your safety nets…not the people you’d initially think, I’d really like to hook up with tonight. But it’s nice for them to be [there]. Sometimes becomes the star of the show and gets bumped up to first.” (08:20-08:55 – Female Host/Male Co-host)

• On Recognizing Retread Status:

  • “To be able to determine if you’re a retread or not…and if you are a retread…you’ve got to cut it off.” (09:36 – Male Host)

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Timestamps for Key Topics

• 01:32: Transition from ads to main topic/introduction of the “retread” concept
• 02:38: Hosts describe gendered group dynamics and how the conversation about “retreads” started
• 03:19: What is a “retread”? Programming exes as “retread” in phones
• 04:36: Women’s logic: keeping the “skank number” down
• 05:14: Male perspective: “Simple creatures, all of us”
• 06:17-07:10: Hedging bets & how men prioritize retreads vs. new partners
• 08:20: Depth chart/sports backup analogy (safety nets)
• 09:05: Host’s sarcastic advice: women being “sluttier” would save heartbreak
• 09:44: How to recognize if you’re someone’s retread
• 10:00: How some men manipulate emotions for late-night hookups

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Tone & Takeaways

• The hosts keep the tone light, joking, and candid, with playful jabs at each other’s gender stereotypes.
• Men insist their motives are simpler and more practical than women might expect; women argue there’s often more complexity—at least on their side.
• The main advice: Know your status—if you’re someone’s “retread,” recognize the pattern, and decide for yourself whether to continue in that role.

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For listeners:
This episode playfully dissects dating strategies through the lens of “retreading.” It offers both tongue-in-cheek humor and real reflections on why men and women revisit relationships—sometimes for vastly different reasons. The lively, honest conversation captures the Bert Show’s classic blend of insight and entertainment.

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Transcript

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[Male Host]

really fun to hang out with the opposite species, which is dudes species, because they really are a separate species from us. And I had this experience.

[Female Host]

You know what I like to say? Men are from Mars.

[Male Host]

Oh my God, don't go there.

[Female Host]

Women hate Martians.

[Male Host]

So I need to run this by you guys and maybe the guys in the room or the guys listening can chime in on this because I just don't know if this topic of conversation was specific to this group of guys that I was hanging out with or if this applies to all guys. Cause we had gone to the Hawks game on Saturday and then afterwards went to Dantana's downtown and we're hanging out, you know, just enjoying the game 7 win and so excited about it. But it turned out to be me, one of my girlfriends, and a whole bunch of dudes.

[Female Host]

Okay, so you felt like you were behind enemy lines.

[Male Host]

Oh, we were man in the convers. I mean, we were way Wendy's. Like, that's heaven. I love that situation.

[Female Host]

I think that's how Jeff and I feel in here some days. Like, yeah, like yesterday's conversation about sending pictures of your man's junk to Other girlfriends, we didn't know that.

[Male Host]

You just get fascinated because when you're outnumbered, then you are, you know, the conversation by the men, it's dominating the women. Same opposite for you guys, right? So that's kind of what was going on. And they started talking about all kinds of things. And as the beers were flowing further, they got into, you know, more graphic topics. But this was one of the first ones they started talking about because one of the guys was texting an old girlfriend, right? And maybe gonna meet up with her later or whatever. And they were all hassling him about it and calling her a retread, like she was the girl that he always would go back to. And I thought that only girls did that because it didn't increase your numbers.

[Male Co-host]

Guys do it cause it's a sure thing, right?

[Female Host]

That's your safe bet.

[Male Host]

They were saying that guys do it because they want to go back for the comfort of it. Like that there was something comforting about going back to it. And they had named it a retread. Even. I think one of them had programmed a girl in his phone as retread.

[Female Host]

Really?

[Male Co-host]

That's dangerous. If he ever leaves his phone on the next day,

[Female Host]

I mean, guys can call in on this. 404-741-Q100. But I think we said this on the show before, that once you start trying to figure guys out, dumb it down again. So I don't think it has anything to do with comfort.

[Male Co-host]

But these are guys telling her this.

[Male Host]

Yeah, these are guys talking about. They're like, it's comfortable. It's really, you know, it's fun. Like it's a sure thing.

[Female Host]

That's really all it is. I don't know. It's. It's just. It's there, it's easy. I mean, you've been there before. She knows what you're calling for. You gotta get some. You gotta get it done. It's easy.

[Male Co-host]

Why do you text your old girlfriends?

[Female Host]

Well, you'd have to ask Jessica.

[Male Host]

Touche. My, my. I'm just curious. I was just. I was just fascinated. Guys actually do that for maybe a different reason than it being just, you know, just simple.

[Female Co-host]

Yeah, I would do anything and not as an insult. Do guys do anything?

[Female Host]

That's complicated.

[Female Co-host]

That's complicated.

[Female Host]

This is such a great example. When women do something, it always has. There's an ulterior meeting meaning to it, or there's just some. Something with more depth. Women are trying to keep their numbers down. You're trying to keep your number down. So you go Back to the X. Just so you keep that number, your skank number, below your skank number and your mental skank number. Whereas guys, we don't care about that. We couldn't care less.

[Male Host]

It was interesting to me because it seemed like they all, they all sort of agreed that it was for like a comfort level or they're just trying

[Male Co-host]

to make the girls there feel better.

[Female Co-host]

I was gonna say, do you say that because you were the audience, that they wanted to make it more touchy feely?

[Male Co-host]

Any guy will do will be a professional ballplayer stepping to the plate. If you watch his routine of touching the bat to each corner and pulling his glove up and adjusting his bat and then that's it. That's the most complicated thing any man in the history of men have ever done.

[Female Host]

That's it.

[Female Co-host]

There was a guy last night that

[Male Co-host]

actually the President of the United States went for a hamburger yesterday.

[Female Co-host]

Right?

[Male Co-host]

Simple creatures, all of us.

[Female Co-host]

Right?

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Co-host]

I think that it's because they. I mean, there's a part of me that thinks that they made it more emotional because you were there, they were trying to impress you with the explanation because they don't want to come across as.

[Male Host]

And I always thought that could be.

[Female Co-host]

They don't want to drag their knuckles in front of you.

[Male Host]

Maybe, maybe. And I always thought too that guys wanted always something new. Like especially like single guys. Like they were always after something new and fresh and whatever. I didn't think that they would even like go back to ex girlfriends enough to have a name for it.

[Female Host]

Well, I think you got the first part of that right. I think that we would always like something new. But the reality of it is sometimes that situation doesn't present itself. Sometimes you fall off a Friday night or a Saturday night. So when that doesn't happen, you gotta have a depth chart.

[Male Host]

I would be willing to know if she's a retread.

[Male Co-host]

She knows.

[Female Host]

Yeah, I think she knows. Like, if you guys aren't seeing each other and he's just calling from time to time and it's don't you know?

[Male Host]

No. Agree. Doesn't there have to be like some, like, if he was coming back to you to pursue the relationship again, right. And really be serious with you, not just hook up for a late night booty call, how much time has to be in between your breakup. Does that make sense? You know what I'm asking?

[Male Co-host]

No.

[Male Host]

Well, I guess, for instance, I have some friends right now that dated when they were 23 and now they, you know, broke up because they were 23, went their separate ways, had their separate lives, whatever, and now they're dating again at like 35. So he's full on re pursued that relationship. But that's not a retread because they're in another new.

[Male Co-host]

Is he taking her to dinner and calling her like on Wednesday and saying, what are you doing Saturday night?

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Male Co-host]

Then they're dating, okay? But if he's calling her Saturday afternoon and saying, what are you doing tonight? Then what he's doing is he's. What's it called, like when you're gambling? He's hedging his bet because guys do like new. But if he knows. If I know that you're the sure thing because you're the ex girlfriend, I might call you, see what you're doing later on. Hey, here's where I'm hanging out. Want to come by? I got a big trivia match of Fridays. Come on down and join me, all that stuff, right? But then if an hour and a half later, I see Melissa, right? And she's, you know, what's up, daddy? Hey. And she just comes in and she. And she's in the bar and she's all, you know, she just won her synchronized swimming championship. And she's drunk and partying and everything. And I start talking to her and I'm like, wow, you're good. Look at you. Hey, I'll totally blow you off because I can get the new. But if Melissa.

[Female Co-host]

Cause I can wear my swim cap while we're doing it.

[Male Co-host]

But then if I'm working the whole Melissa thing and by 9:30, I realize, 10:30, whatever. I'm like, this girl cannot possibly get drunk enough to love me. I know.

[Female Host]

Even if it's for five minutes.

[Male Co-host]

Yeah, I know that. I've already called you. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like. It's an insurance maneuver, right? You keep the other girlfriend. Guys like new, but new is hard to get.

[Female Host]

I've always felt like it really was like in a sports analogy, it felt like it was a depth chart to me. Like if backup quarterbacks. Yeah. You got. Yeah. It's like, look at Florida State. They've got a starting quarterback. Yeah. And if he goes down, then you have somebody behind him that can come off the bench that could do hopefully an equally as good job. But he's just not really quite the guy that you would really want in there. And then there's a third stringer and a four stringer. Those retreads are your safety nets. Those are not the people that you'd initially think, I'd really like to hook up with tonight. But it's nice for them to be

[Male Host]

sometimes becomes the star of the show and gets bumped up to first.

[Male Co-host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

That can happen too in dating. It's rare, but it can happen in dating also. Yeah.

[Male Co-host]

You know what I just realized explaining my whole theory with Melissa and at the bar and everything.

[Female Co-host]

You like sacred night swimming.

[Male Co-host]

Yes. Also, if women were just sluttier, you would save yourselves a lot of heartbreak. Because if Melissa would just give it up to me at the bar, I would never have to toy with you. And that would save you a lot of emotional turmoil. Melissa would get something she needs me, I would get something I need sex. And you would be saved a heartbreak.

[Female Host]

So there's your advice for women. The first guy that you talk to in a bar you should sleep with.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Male Co-host]

Because you're saving other women immediately.

[Male Host]

My true advice is to be able to that night. To be able to determine if you're a retread or not.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

And if you are a retread and if this is happening to you, then you got to cut it off.

[Female Host]

If he's going back time and time and time again and it's only for, I mean, it's pretty simple to figure out if he's calling you Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night.

[Male Host]

All that emotion, all caught up in him.

[Male Co-host]

I know. And that's what makes it so great.

[Female Host]

That's why it's guaranteed, that's vulnerable.

[Male Co-host]

That's why we're able to convince you at 8 o' clock on Saturday night that we really, really do love you. But not until midnight.

[Female Host]

The first show.