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Chris
Get it?
Jeff
The bird show.
Host/Interviewer
I was wondering, you know, thinking about reminiscing back on those dating days. Like, what were the things on that first date that either made make or break it for the next date? So if a guy like as the guys, you guys going out with a woman on the first date, what are the things you look for to kind of decode if she is second date worthy?
Guest/Panelist
Jeff.
Chris
Punctuality. Like, I know it's the thing to do where you gotta go and wait for her to finish getting ready, but if she doesn't and then nothing. Is there anything. And this is gonna be. It seems so obvious, but is there anything worse than going out on a date with somebody and having them sit there and talk about themselves and never ask a question or shut up?
Jeff
See, I always felt like that took pressure off me. I'm like, just go ahead and talk all you want. Cause I know women love to be heard. So I'm just gonna sit here. Even though I've checked out, I'm thinking about the 78 Super bowl right now. But I know you think that I'm listening, so just keep talking.
Chris
Birds alphabetizing, Padre pictures in his head.
Host/Interviewer
So what is it? I'm sorry, I was going to ask just to follow up on Chris. Jeff's thing is when a woman is late getting ready, what does that say to you?
Chris
Well, it depends on the lateness. I mean, if it's a few minutes because she's just, you know, whatever, you know, finishing whatever, that's fine. But if it's like, you know, if it's one of those women where you get to the house and they're still wearing like, you know, their yoga pants and sweatshirt and like, oh my God. Okay. I'm just running so far behind. I was late at work upstairs. And then they're upstairs for, you know, 45 minutes getting ready. You hear the shower like that's just rude.
Jeff
I felt like if I was going to miss, if I was going to go meet a girl out, if I gave her one hour and if she didn't show and I didn't get a call, that was it, I was leaving.
Narrator/Advertiser
Where?
Jeff
Wherever we were supposed to meet.
Chris
Yeah, I was talking about picking them up at the house, but I guess.
Guest/Panelist
Same thing going further with the conversation. If they she talks about her ex, then there's no way am I going out with her.
Host/Interviewer
And what does that mean to you? Like what does that say about her to you?
Guest/Panelist
That means at first I just wonder how long it's been since their relationship broke up. If she's still talking about an ex, then that means that she's not over that ex. So why am I wasting my time? And then, you know, in my situation, when it comes to gay women, that's just, that's just such a turn off for me because so many. It just means that it's going to be something I'm going to have to deal with that I don't want to deal with. I don't want a third party in our relationship. So absolutely no second date if you talk about your ex.
Jeff
Yeah. And I think that's the same with any relationship. If you're out on that first date and they can't stop talking about that ex, I got to wonder if you're over it or not.
Host/Interviewer
What about this is something I always paid attention to is the way that they treat other people. Like the way they treat the waiter, the way they treat the hostess or something like that. Like if the guy that I was, you know, going out with was not nice to the woman at the hostess stand, that was a total red flag. It was like, nope, no second date with this one.
Jeff
I had a red flag. Also if like she was on her cell phone a lot, then she's thinking, I got better things to do than to be hanging out with this guy. And I didn't want to feel like that. So that would have been a red flag for me.
Host/Interviewer
Too high maintenance or something like that. You're just gonna like she's more involved.
Jeff
With like, I mean, it's supposed to be you and me out on this date, enjoying each other's company. And here you are on the phone every six minutes. So forget it.
Host/Interviewer
That almost puts out like a codependency thing. Like she can't stand there on her own. She's like gotta be on the phone with her friends or something like that.
Jeff
Like, I don't know, she's not there alone. She's with me. So I guess it would say something.
Host/Interviewer
No, but I mean, like a. Like she couldn't be standing there on her own with. On a date with you, being an independent person, that she would have to be on the phone or doing other things. Like, to me, that would say that she wasn't competent enough just to be there herself.
Guest/Panelist
Now, guys, do you. What about excessive primping? Like, if she's so preoccupied with the way she looks, like she checks herself in the mirror every time you. Even a framed picture, she'll check herself out in the glass or, you know she will. I mean, because, you know, women that do that or do the hair flip a lot or, I mean, just so, I don't know, animated in her, you know, outward appearance.
Jeff
One woman can totally ruin you of that. I dated this girl, and I think I've told you guys about Janie before, that she would take 90 minutes to get ready, and she was. She was really, really pretty. 90 minutes to get ready. And sometimes after that 90 minutes, she'd look at herself in the mirror and decide that she was too ugly to go out.
Host/Interviewer
No.
Jeff
And she'd be so stressed out about it that it was no fun to go out. So after that experience, I was really, like, uber sensitive to any woman that was totally looking at themselves and superficial that way.
Chris
I also have an issue with a woman who is highly critical of herself, who does the old poor me. Like, if you say something like, hey, do you. You know, do you want. Like, do you want to try my. Whatever you're having? Or, hey, do you want to split a dessert? Oh, no, I can't. Look how fat I am. I'm so fat, you know, or whatever. Or, like, it does that. God, I wish I was tall as that girl. Or, you know, short like that girl. Or do you think my hair is. Oh, my hair is just terrible. To, like, you gotta have a little bit of confidence. Like, I don't want to hear you whining about things that are wrong with you.
Jeff
You know, excessive cattiness on the first date. The cattiness can come, like, in a month. But if I'm out with you and you're already picking apart everybody that walks by, to me that was, like, why are you doing this? To make yourself feel better?
Guest/Panelist
And the combination of both. If she's picking at you, she asks you questions about what you do or, you know, what you do in your spare time or hobbies or whatever. If she, instead of downing herself, downs you and criticizes you for I mean, because I've had that experience before where I answer a question and then they slam me for it. I'm like, why are you spending your time with me? But it's almost like a. I don't know. Like, it.
Jeff
They slamming you for it. They just have a difference of opinion.
Guest/Panelist
No, I mean, it's. They're just being overly critical, and it's almost like a they. The vibe I got was she was being just kind of like she was insecure instead of. I don't know. It was just weird. It was weird because I would just. It was a casual conversation, and she would ask me questions. And if you ask somebody a question, it's like, you're interested. And then I would answer the question and then she would, like, make fun of it.
Host/Interviewer
Do you think that was trying to be humorous? Like, that was just a terrible sense of humor, maybe?
Guest/Panelist
Yeah, she didn't have a good sense of humor. And it just. Yeah, it just came across as like, I can't do this. You know, like, that's too much work. You know, Like, I don't. You know, the criticism of everything I do comes later in the relationship, not on the first date.
Host/Interviewer
Exactly. What about women who say thank you or don't say thank you?
Jeff
Yeah, I would pick up on that instantly if they don't say thank you.
Host/Interviewer
Enough or if they say it too. Like, can anybody say thank you too much?
Jeff
I don't think so.
Chris
Not according to that commercial.
Jeff
What commercial?
Chris
The one where the wife is. The produce department says, are you pregnant? No, thank you. Everything's okay.
Guest/Panelist
Now, do you mean thank you to us or thank you to the people around?
Host/Interviewer
I think. I think just in general, I always wonder, you know, I always kind of pick out, you know, if, you know, if the server brings over something that you specially asked for and the guy for. Well, for me, for the guy, just completely ignoring the service people, to me, is rude. You know, when they bring over the bottle of wine, say thank you. When they bring the appetizers, or ask you if you need anything else, and you say, no, I'm fine, you know, or, no, we're just fine, thank you. You know what I mean? It's just like. It's a politeness. I think it says a lot about a person, how much and how. And when they say thank you, it goes back to.
Chris
Didn't you say about the way they treat other people? Yeah, same thing, right?
Jeff
Did any of the people that we're currently married to give you guys any red flags on the first date? But you like to look past them?
Host/Interviewer
Oh, that's a good question. I got to think about that for a minute.
Jeff
Jessica, she was gassy, but you like that. That's no red flag for you. That's a green light.
Chris
No, I. It was weird with us because we were friends and so, I mean, there.
Jeff
Was no real first date kind of thing.
Chris
Yeah, yeah, the official first date. I kind of got some. So that probably was a red flag for her, too.
Jeff
I don't, I don't. I can't remember any with Stacy, but Stacy constantly brings up. And I don't, I still don't recall this, but she swears that on our very first date, I had a sweatshirt tucked into my jeans. I still don't believe that happened. I still don't believe it.
Chris
I fully believe that. And you know, are you, are you going to. Is tonight your homecoming game?
Jeff
Yes.
Chris
Will you go to your homecoming game with a sweater tucked into your jeans?
Jeff
Oh, no, no, no, no. I won't do that.
Chris
It'll be like, don't you want to go back to the early days?
Jeff
No, I still don't believe it happened. There was nothing about Ryan at all that gave you any kind of red flag?
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, there was, there were two because when I met him, you know, he was in at that point and there were two girls trailing him pretty big time when he had already asked me to see him the next night or whatever. And we had gone on our date. Our first date was a daytime date and then we had gone to the concert again that following night. There were two shows back to back nights and we had gone to the concert the following night. And those two girls that were trailing him the first night were trailing him again the second night. And I thought, oh, do I want.
Jeff
To deal with this all the time?
Host/Interviewer
I don't know about this one.
Chris
Get it?
Jeff
The Bird Show.
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Chris
ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.
Host/Interviewer
This season on the Dream. Supplies are being provided by nurses who.
Guest/Panelist
Run out in the middle of the.
Host/Interviewer
Night and purchase diapers, but the hospital is still charging as if they still have these items. We are digging into every topic we've.
Narrator/Advertiser
Ever wanted to cover on this show.
Chris
It's a spinning plate analogy.
Jeff
The second that you stop spinning those plates, that crashes. So you can never stop working.
Narrator/Advertiser
The Dream Season 4 comes at you weekly. Starting Monday, January 20th.
Chris
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
Jeff
Acast.com.
Date: December 22, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)
Guests/Panelists: Jeff, Chris, Host/Interviewer, and others
This episode of The Bert Show dives into the do's and don'ts of first dates, featuring candid, funny, and sometimes brutally honest opinions from both the male and female hosts. The cast reflects on their own first date experiences, sharing what they see as red flags and green lights. Practical, real-life dating wisdom is delivered with humor and authenticity, making it both relatable and insightful for listeners navigating the dating world.
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The conversation is lively, witty, authentic, and at times self-deprecating. The cast’s chemistry comes through as they riff off personal stories, tease each other, and call out dating faux pas with candor and humor.
If you're heading out for a first date, the group suggests being on time, present, polite, confident (but not vain or self-absorbed), and showing respect for everyone you encounter. Most importantly, they remind listeners that a little authenticity—and a sense of humor—goes a long way.