The Bert Show: Vault Episode – “Sexual MythBusters: Do Men Really Fake Orgasms?”

Date: April 8, 2026
Podcast Team: Bert, Jen, Jeff, and rotating co-hosts
Main Theme:
The morning crew dives into the persistent myth: Can men fake orgasms during sex? The hosts explore the social taboos, logistics, and psychology behind the issue, blending candid personal stories, frank listener calls, and entertaining banter to unravel the reality behind the myth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up the Myth (02:02–03:00)

• Host Anxiety: Bert confides his nervousness about asking men to call in for honest stories on a sensitive topic. He notes men are usually less willing than women to “call themselves out” in vulnerable sexual conversations.
• Myth Introduction: Bert highlights the myth under discussion: “Guys can’t fake the big O.”
  • He points to the “evidence” involved and the common assumption this makes it impossible for men to fake an orgasm.
    • Jeff: "There’s evidence, so to speak." (02:43)
    • Jen: "I'm not in this conversation, but I mean, still." (02:54)

2. Personal Anecdotes: Real Life Faking (03:00–04:34)

• Bert shares an elaborate story about his brother-in-law, who pretended to climax for weeks by using spit as fake “evidence” when his partner was trying to get pregnant and he had anxieties about fatherhood.
  • Bert: "He'd make the noises and everything else." (03:39)
  • Bert: “Spit and then put it on the sheets.” (04:25)
• The team reacts with equal parts disbelief and humor:
  • Jen: "It sounds like there's a partnership between a guy that fakes it and a really dumb girl." (04:44)
  • Jeff: "That is a long way to go rather than just being honest….” (04:31)

3. Listener Calls: The Truth from Men (05:41–10:47)

• Ron (First Caller, 06:02):
  • Admits to faking both orgasming and NOT orgasming—most notably to prevent pregnancy when a partner wasn’t on birth control.
    • Ron: "I faked it both ways. I faked having an orgasm and not having an orgasm." (06:02)
    • Bert: “How could she not have a clue?” (06:38)
  • Ron explains, sometimes it’s possible because partners aren’t always attentive, and other factors (like natural lubrication) can mask the difference.
• General Insight:
  • The group debates whether it's really possible to fool a partner. They suggest that women “want to believe” or may be less vigilant, especially if they have less experience.
    • Bert: "I think it can only be done successfully because a woman wants to believe." (07:12)
    • Jen: "Again, going back to the dumb girl." (07:24)
    • Jeff: "With wishful thinking... her mind could play tricks on her." (07:31)
• Nick (Second Caller, 08:39):
  • Also confirms it’s possible, especially by acting and carefully disposing of protection.
    • Nick: "Yeah, I've done this… trying to be nice… you can." (08:42)
• Joey (Third Caller, 09:19, Voice Disguised):
  • Explains that with condoms, it’s “very, very easily done,” especially with inexperienced partners or in the dark.
    • Joey: "Just get tired and bored. The easiest thing about it is most of them come with lubrication." (09:22)
    • Joey: "Just completely bored out of my mind. Ready to get this over with." (10:13)
  • The group jokes about Joey’s acting skills:
    • Bert: "...you're putting on like an Academy Award also, making all the sounds, your body is moving like it's really going on but you're totally faking it." (10:05)
• Follow-up:
  • Discussion on whether faking it is painful for men afterwards and why someone would resort to it.
    • Joey: "It is painful to a certain extent, but it's more of a sensitive thing." (10:35)
  • The hosts joke about an "air sex competition." (10:56)

4. Deeper Reasons for Faking & Gender Parallel (11:04–12:44)

• Bert and Jen relate the motivation for men’s fakery back to women’s reasons: to spare partners’ feelings, or to just end it when it’s not working.
  • Bert: "There are just times you can't and after a while you're just like, the fun of this is over." (11:03)
  • Jen: "That's the same reason women do it, right?" (11:22)
• Justin (Fourth Caller): Reinforces that it can happen both with and without protection, especially if a man’s already pleasured himself earlier. Darkness and towels also used as cover. (11:26)
• The team explores the impact of male masturbation on sexual performance in relationships, citing both anecdotal evidence and peer discussions. (11:55–12:26)

5. Conclusion: Myth Busted (12:26–end)

• The calls make clear: Yes, men do sometimes fake orgasms—and it’s more common, more creative, and more nuanced than generally assumed.
  • Bert: "Guys are as good at faking it as women are. I guess. It is jacked up." (12:26)
  • Jen: "Guys have to make more effort to fake it." (12:41)
  • Jeff: "Finally, they have to make more effort." (12:45)
  • Bert: "It's not easy." (12:49)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Spit and then put it on the sheets." – Bert, on his brother-in-law’s method (04:25)
• "It sounds like there's a partnership between a guy that fakes it and a really dumb girl." – Jen, incredulous at the story (04:44)
• "I've faked it both ways. I faked having an orgasm and not having an orgasm." – Caller Ron (06:02)
• "Just completely bored out of my mind. Ready to get this over with." – Caller Joey, re: why he faked it (10:13)
• "Guys are as good at faking it as women are. I guess. It is jacked up." – Bert, closing takeaway (12:26)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:02 – Introduction of the “myth” and opening up lines for male callers
• 03:00–04:34 – Bert’s brother-in-law story (spit as “evidence”)
• 05:41–07:01 – First listener calls, Ron’s confessions
• 09:19–10:47 – Joey and Nick call in (condoms, acting, boredom)
• 11:26–12:44 – Justin’s call, gender parallels, masturbation discussion
• 12:26–12:49 – Final myth busting/conclusion

Episode Takeaway

In trademark Bert Show fashion—blunt, funny, and curious—the hosts and listeners bust the myth that only women feign satisfaction in the bedroom. The lively discussion reveals that men, too, have their strategies for faking orgasms, although with more logistical gymnastics. The segment is a rare, honest look into sexual performance anxieties and the lengths both genders will go to maintain egos, spare feelings, or simply end awkward encounters.

This episode is ideal for listeners who enjoy frank sexual myth-busting, relatable humor, and the surprising nuances of modern relationships.