Vault: She blew off work because of a hangover.

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – She Blew Off Work Because of a Hangover (June 22, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode, The Bert Show team welcomes a caller (Paulette) who finds herself in a workplace pickle after missing work due to a Super Bowl-induced hangover. The hosts, along with input from listeners, dissect possible ways for Paulette to recover professionally and personally from her misstep. The conversation explores honesty vs. excuses in the workplace and offers listeners a relatable, laugh-out-loud look at making mistakes and seeking advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Paulette's Dilemma: The Morning After the Super Bowl

• [01:38] Paulette confesses she missed work after drinking too much at her Super Bowl party, waking up at 1 PM instead of 9 AM.
  • “I have to be honest, I was super drunk. I didn’t hear my alarm, and I woke up at one o’clock in the afternoon.” — Paulette [01:38]
• She admits to not notifying her workplace at all, leading to anxiety about how to handle her absence.
  • “I didn’t call in for work. I didn’t do anything.” — Paulette [02:32]

2. Shared Stories & Empathy

• The cast shares personal anecdotes of missing work or sleeping through important obligations.
  • “There was a time where I had just moved that weekend … I slept at four in the afternoon and I was supposed to be at work at 10.” — Co-host 1 [02:43]
• The team acknowledges the relatability of post-Super Bowl sluggishness.

3. Debating Damage Control Strategies

• The conversation pivots to whether Paulette should be honest or create a plausible excuse.
  • Option 1: Total honesty—admitting to the boss she was hungover.
  • Option 2: Fake confusion—claiming she thought it was a holiday (like President’s Day).
    • “Or I could pretend like I had no idea … like, I don’t know, maybe I thought it was President’s Day yesterday.” — Paulette [03:39]
  • Option 3: Administrative error—saying she thought she submitted a vacation form.
    • “I thought I turned in a vacation form, did I not?” — Caller/Jen [06:02]

Hosts’ Analysis:

• Co-host 2 warns against the President’s Day excuse: “What you want to avoid is an excuse that really makes him lose respect … If I’m the boss, I’m like, you’re an idiot.” [04:24]
• The consensus leans toward the vacation form “mistake,” as it’s more forgivable and doesn’t insult the boss’s intelligence.
  • “You’re still owning it, that it’s your fault, but you’re not … going full disclosure on the getting hammered and forgetting to get to work thing.” — Caller/Jen [06:28]

4. Gauging the Boss’s Personality

• The group discusses that the best path forward depends on the boss’s temperament—whether he’s strict or lenient.
  • “How is her boss? Is he, like, hardcore if she's two minutes late? Or is he like, ah, just make it up later?” — Caller/Dan [07:51]
• Paulette admits uncertainty, as she’s been at her job only three months and her boss is not especially present or communicative. [08:16]

5. The “Do Nothing Unless Asked” Approach

• Some co-hosts advocate for remaining low-key unless confronted.
  • “Part of me is curious about you just going in and not doing anything yet until you get called out.” — Co-host 1 [06:49]
  • “Only if she’s asked.” — Co-host 1 [11:11]
• The underlying suggestion: If no one noticed, perhaps no explanation is needed.

6. Listener Advice

• Caller Sam: Suggests a “family emergency” excuse, but it's quickly dismissed as bad karma.
  • “Yeah, that’s bad karma, because then you’re wishing that to happen to a family member.” — Advertiser/Co-host [07:31]
• Caller Sarah: As a boss herself, says she’d prefer honesty: “I would have appreciated if he had just called and said, hey, you know what, I’m hungover from the super bowl rather than telling me he was sick.” [09:08]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I’ve only been there three months … there’s, like, a tiny chance I didn’t even realize I wasn’t there.” — Paulette [05:29]
• “If you go in and nobody says anything, then you’re clear. I mean, it might make you feel bad about your job, but … at least you’re not in trouble.” — Co-host 1 [06:49]
• “You may not even know that you're an employee today. You'll find that out if your key card doesn't work walking in the building.” — Co-host 2 [10:34]
• “Will you do us a favor and email us later … so we can follow up with you tomorrow?” — Co-host 2 [10:54]

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|--------------------| | [01:02] | Paulette joins on the voice disguiser and shares her hangover story | | [01:38] | Paulette details missing work and feeling anxious | | [02:43] | Co-hosts share their own “sleeping in/missing work” stories | | [03:39] | Paulette brainstorms possible excuses | | [04:24] | Co-hosts debate the merits of each excuse | | [06:02] | Discussion of the vacation form “mistake” approach | | [07:09] | Listener, Sam, calls in with advice (and is dismissed) | | [08:16] | Paulette describes her boss and work environment | | [08:55] | Listener, Sarah, calls in with advice as a boss | | [10:54] | Show requests Paulette to report back on how it goes |

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Conclusion

The episode delivers The Bert Show’s signature blend of honesty, humor, and audience participation as they support Paulette through her workplace blunder. Suggestions range from creative fibs to raw honesty, but the cast ultimately leans toward being humble, slightly apologetic, but not too detailed—unless directly questioned. Listener engagement reinforces the show’s inviting, judgment-free tone, making this a relatable and entertaining morning show moment for anyone who’s ever made a Monday mistake.

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For follow-up, listeners are left curious about Paulette’s fate—will she get away with her absence, or face workplace repercussions?

Transcript

[Host]

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[Paulette]

Wayfair.

[Co-host 1]

Every style, every home.

[Host]

This is the Birch Show.

[Co-host 2]

Paulette wants to be on the Voice Disguiser.

[Co-host 1]

Okay.

[Co-host 2]

Got herself in some trouble over the weekend and missed some work and wants some help on how to recover Paulette. Good morning. You're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Paulette]

Good morning. How are you guys today?

[Co-host 2]

Good. How are you today?

[Paulette]

Good. I listen to you guys all the time and now I'm calling for advice.

[Advertiser/Segment Host]

Okay?

[Co-host 2]

You have become one of those people that you've laughed at now for years,

[Advertiser]

so let us know.

[Paulette]

I recognize that, but I really needed some help, so I decided to call.

[Co-host 1]

Anyway, welcome to the dark side.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, right. What's going on?

[Paulette]

So, obviously I watched the Super Bowl Sunday. My boyfriend and I had a big party at our place. Actually, like 25, 30 people were there. It was awesome. I grew up in New Orleans. I'm a huge Saints fan. So clearly I celebrated pretty late. So late, in fact, that I did not wake up the next morning for work. I was. You know, I have to be honest, I was super drunk. I didn't hear my alarm, and I woke up at one o' clock in the afternoon yesterday.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, that is a bender right there.

[Paulette]

Okay, I know.

[Co-host 1]

What time were you supposed to be at work?

[Paulette]

And I was so bad. I was so hungover, so I just kind of laid there and I was so distraught about what to do that I didn't even. I didn't call in for work. I didn't do anything.

[Co-host 1]

Wait.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, nothing. So the whole day goes by and you never called? You never check in?

[Paulette]

No, I know.

[Caller]

I know.

[Paulette]

I didn't. I didn't feel well. And then I was so nervous, I didn't know what to say. I was kind of in bed the whole day. I mean, you know what it's like, right?

[Co-host 2]

Yep. You went large for sure.

[Co-host 1]

You did.

[Caller]

Melissa's done that. Didn't you sleep 24 straight through a job?

[Co-host 1]

There was. There was a time where I had just moved that weekend and didn't get a lot of sleep and I was young and so I was. Probably had been drinking too, but. And I slept at four in the afternoon and I was supposed to be at work at 10.

[Caller]

Damn.

[Co-host 1]

Walked in, but I went like, I got up, got ready at 5pm and everybody was leaving at 5:30. And they were like, what? And I said, I'm just. I'm just owning up to it.

[Co-host 2]

Just want to make sure you guys were concerned if you thought I was dead. Really, here I am.

[Co-host 1]

But I asked earlier, what time were you supposed to be there yesterday? I'm just curious.

[Paulette]

Nine o'. Clock. Nine o'. Clock.

[Caller]

Could you potentially fake it like you thought you had the day off? Like since you haven't called at all?

[Paulette]

That's what. I don't know what to do for today because I have. I'm thinking up some plans in my mind and I'm not sure which one to do. The first one is that I can like obviously just totally fess up and explain to my boss what happened.

[Caller]

No.

[Paulette]

Or I could pretend like I had no idea. Like, I don't know, maybe I thought I was President's Day like yesterday. No, no. I got the weeks mixed up.

[Co-host 1]

Everybody knows it was Super Bowl.

[Advertiser]

Your boss already knows.

[Paulette]

And tell my boss that he had actually signed a vacation form like a month ago and maybe he won't know.

[Advertiser]

Go.

[Caller]

And I'd vote for the President's Day idea.

[Co-host 1]

What?

[Caller]

President's Day is a week from today. Yesterday. It's one week off.

So all you say you thought it

was President's Day, so go in today.

[Host]

Like, I would never bother.

[Co-host 1]

Would you get President's Day off?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah. It's a good question.

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Do you get President's Day off?

[Paulette]

We did. But like, what if I just pretend that I, like, play dumb and I say up the weeks mixed up.

[Co-host 2]

No, you can't do that because what you're going to do, what you want to avoid is an excuse that really sort of, I don't know, makes him lose or her lose respect, you know, Like I have this idiot working for me and the President's Day one, I think would do that. If I'm the boss, I'm like, you're an idiot.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. If you had gone out on a bender at any other time of year, then maybe. But everybody knows it was super bowl, and there's so many people that didn't make it in the next morning. So I don't see. I mean, I don't know why you can't just tell the truth.

[Co-host 2]

404-741-Q100 except we're not in the real world. You know, it's like with us, we could probably get away with it, you know, but in the real, we don't operate, like, unless you're a banker or something, you can't do that.

[Co-host 1]

I guess I just. I'm going on what you just said, Bert, because I feel like you're gonna insult your boss if you come up with an excuse when the boss knows, well, super bowl is Sunday, because if you walked around Friday talking about how you're from the New Orleans and you want them to win and you made a big deal about the super bowl, then I think people know where you are, I'd be pissed.

[Co-host 2]

So if I'm the boss, and you come in and you're like, I got too drunk.

[Paulette]

I've only been there three months, which is, like, part of the problem, and I sit in a cubicle by myself. So, like, for all I know, there's, like, a tiny chance I didn't even realize I wasn't there.

[Co-host 2]

And nobody called you during the day either?

[Paulette]

No. I mean, I work in customer service. It's not like I'm part of a critical team, you know, it certainly is

[Co-host 2]

making you probably feel less than essential personnel if you go an entire day and nobody calls. Nobody at all.

[Caller]

Well aware.

What if you went in and you still make it your fault if they call you out on the mistake? But that you say you thought you turned in a vacation form for Monday, you're like, I'm a huge Saints fan. Y' all know I'm a huge Saints fan. I thought I turned in a vacation form, did I not? And then if they bust you for not turning in a vacation form, you're still taking the blame on yourself and saying, you know what? I am so sorry. I really thought that I had turned that in. I checked it off my list, whatever it is you got to do, because you're still owning it, that it's your fault, but you're not. You know what I'm saying? You're not going full disclosure on the getting Hammered and forgetting to get to work thing.

You can even go above and beyond that and fill out a form. Like as soon as you get in, in the minute you get there, walk into your boss's office and go, oh, my God, I filled this out last week and I walked in, thought I told you. And it was sitting on my desk.

[Co-host 1]

Well, it's almost the same. It's almost. If you go in like that, prepared, it almost seems like a lie. Like you said. You don't know. Part of me is curious about you just going in and not doing anything yet until you get called out. And like Jen said, because if you don't think anybody noticed you were gone. Yeah, I think if you go in and nobody says anything, then you're clear. I mean, it might make you feel bad about your job, but, I mean, at least you're not in trouble.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Sam. Good morning. You're part of the Birch Show.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning. That's awesome. I love you guys.

[Co-host 2]

Thanks for calling, man.

[Caller]

Family emergency. Of her family of Saints fans. One of her family members partied too hard and had to go into the hospital. And she had to go be with them and didn't have any time to call.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, the problem with that is you should still check in, even if it's whatever, just.

[Caller]

And Wendy made a good point.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, that's bad karma because then you're wishing that to happen to a family member.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, don't use that.

[Co-host 2]

I think the best one so far is Jen's idea.

[Lady Luck]

Agreed.

[Co-host 2]

Thought I turned in the vacation request because I knew I'd be out.

[Caller]

Right.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Dan, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Yo. What's going on? Just want to say I love you guys. You guys rock.

[Co-host 2]

Thank you, sir.

[Caller]

Love you too, darling.

She could go either way with this. And I mean, but it really depends on her boss. How is her boss? Is he. Is he like, you know, one of those stickers where he's like, hardcore if she's like two minutes late? Or is he like, ah, well, you know, just make it up later or whatever, you know, like, what kind of a boss is, you know, Is this

[Co-host 2]

guy real old school, conservative, by the book dude?

[Paulette]

Somewhere in between, I think. You know, I've only been there three months, so I haven't had to address any of these issues with him yet. But I mean, he doesn't, you know, we're supposed to be there at 9. He doesn't come till 9:30. You know, he leaves exactly at 5, so it's not like he's above and beyond type of boss. But you know, I've never had a run in with him so I don't know how he'll react. I've only been there three months.

[Co-host 1]

Are you at work right now?

[Paulette]

You know, I'm on my way right now. I'm in the car. I should be there.

[Co-host 2]

You're going to have the late thing

[Co-host 1]

going for me today.

[Co-host 2]

Here's Sarah. Good morning, Sarah.

[Paulette]

So, you know, it's okay if I'm a minute or two late, you know, there's so much traffic here.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Sarah.

[Caller]

Hey.

Hey.

[Co-host 2]

Paulette here just didn't show up to work yesterday because she got too drunk at our super bowl party, passed out and didn't wake up till one. So she had nobody called her. So what does she do when she gets into the office today?

[Caller]

Yeah, what I think is it kind of depends on what her boss thinks. But I'm a boss too. I had an employee who actually called out yesterday and I would have appreciated. He called out sick. But you know, I definitely think he was probably hungover from partying for the super bowl. And I would have appreciated if he had just called and said, hey, you know what, I'm hungover from the super bowl rather than telling me he was sick because I really just didn't believe that. So. And I'm the kind of boss that would have understood that instead of some far fetched lie. So if her boss is understanding at all, then, you know, I would have appreciated the truth.

[Co-host 2]

The problem is we don't know anything about this guy. She has very little reaction or interaction with him. So we don't know how he or she is going to react. So I like the, I thought I put in the vacation request idea.

[Caller]

Yeah, because you get ahead of it, owning the mistake. But it's not as bad as what it would typically.

[Co-host 2]

And then you just say, look, just, you know, obviously I'll take it as a vacation day. I thought that's what I was doing.

[Host]

My bad.

[Co-host 1]

Don't you agree though? Only if she's asked.

[Co-host 2]

Only if she's asked.

[Co-host 1]

I think you go in and just, I don't think head down to. Or anything.

[Caller]

Right, but you don't think it could be a situation where her boss is waiting to see how she's going to handle it?

No, if he's mad, he'll approach her.

[Co-host 1]

Because even. Yeah, because even when I slept in that day, they were trying to call me. Like the fact that nobody tried to call you. I don't know if anybody.

[Caller]

Maybe they thought you had it scheduled.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

They may not even know that you're an employee today. You'll find that out if your key

[Caller]

card doesn't work walking in the building, then you know they found out. They were pretty upset.

You go upstairs and your area is just cleaned out.

Yeah.

Pictures of another family on your desk.

[Paulette]

What?

[Co-host 1]

And a box with a plan in it that you're supposed to take with you because I don't know why everybody

[Host]

thinks always a plant in the box.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Paulette, will you do us a favor and at least email us later on today and let us know how it went so we can follow up with you tomorrow?

[Paulette]

Sounds good.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Caller]

All right.

[Co-host 1]

Good luck.

[Co-host 2]

Good luck.

[Co-host 1]

Try to get there as possible.

[Host]

Bye.

[Co-host 2]

Bye.

[Paulette]

Thanks for the advice, guys.

[Host]

It's the vert show.

[Lady Luck]

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[Host]

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