Vault: She can't stop comparing herself to this woman

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Can't Stop Comparing Herself to This Woman

Date: June 5, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, plus special guest Joanna Rodriguez

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Joanna Rodriguez, a returning guest, as she candidly shares her struggles with comparing herself to another woman in her extended social circle. The conversation ranges from honest confessions of insecurity and competition among women, to humorous observations, empathy, and advice from the Bert Show cast. The episode is rich in self-reflection and group dynamics, exploring why so many people—and especially women—grapple with self-comparison in relationships and friendships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Joanna’s Dilemma: The “Perfect” Fiancee

• [01:31] Joanna describes feeling intimidated by Jason’s friend’s fiancée, whom she dubs “perfect in every way.”
  • “When I say she's perfect, I'm talking about she's funny, she's sweet, she's beautiful. She's everything that I'm not … she's supermodel beautiful. She's tall. I'm not tall. She's blonde. I'm not blonde.” — Joanna [02:23]
• Joanna admits previous efforts to exclude this woman from group activities, like not inviting her rafting.
  • “If she goes, I’m not going. And so I want my friends to be there … I definitely took place in that parade.” — Joanna [02:15]
• The group teases Joanna about her reluctance to be vulnerable on air:
  • “It's too late for that, honey. You're on the radio. … People judge you.” — Bert [00:35]

Group Reaction: The Nature of Female Competition

• The cast humorously and insightfully probes Joanna’s feelings:
  • “Why would Joanna have a best friend that would outshine Joanna? You don’t do that.” — Kristin [03:27]
  • “Are you nervous that you're not gonna be the center of attention and she is?” — Bert [06:06]
  • “Honestly, that is not my thing.” — Joanna [06:08]
• Joanna clarifies it’s about insecurity, not jealousy for attention:
  • “She hits on in my insecurities … like, all the things that are just not [me].” — Joanna [06:13]
• The group identifies the root issue as internal comparison and societal pressure, not actual rivalry.
  • “I think that perfection thing is dangerous because she’s not perfect. She’s a human being, just like you are. And she’s probably got all kinds of insecurities.” — Wendy [08:23]

Relatability and Broader Perspective

• The show acknowledges that many women—and people—struggle with comparison:
  • “Don’t you think that's what we do with celebrities though? … We're always trying to knock the celebrity down so that we feel not as inferior to them. … I haven't found anything to knock her down with yet.” — Joanna [09:36]
• The conversation takes a wider societal turn, addressing the dangers of competing against arbitrary standards:
  • “I guess, I think if you can change the way you think about it and realize there's room for everybody to be awesome and beautiful and cool and smart…you’ll feel better than you will if you knock her down.” — Wendy [10:13]

Humor and Group Banter

• The cast’s signature humor lightens the tone throughout the episode:
  • “So glad I’m a dude. I'm gonna hug my testicles later today.” — Bert [11:10]
  • “Find her flaws and expose them on the radio.” — Cassie [07:40]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Internal Competition:
  • “It's this weird competition that I have in my head.” — Joanna [05:05]
• On Her Own Role:
  • “I am the princess. I am the greatest girl ever to leave the country in Mexico.” — Joanna [08:07]
• On Female Comparison Culture:
  • “I think all females do that. … In my own head, the only way to make me feel better about me, then, is by knocking somebody else down.” — Joanna [10:03]
• On Broadening Perspective:
  • “There are other women in the world that … are amazing and talented and beautiful. That doesn’t take away from what you are.” — Wendy [08:38]

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|---------------------------------------------| | 01:31 | Joanna introduces her insecurity | | 02:23 | Describes the “perfect” friend’s fiancée | | 03:23 | Group jokes about refusing to invite her | | 04:37 | Group asks why Joanna feels competitive | | 05:05 | Joanna admits the competition is in her head | | 06:08 | Probing if it’s about attention-seeking | | 07:51 | Listener calls in with outside perspective | | 08:23 | Cast discusses danger of perfection mindset | | 09:36 | Comparison to celebrity culture | | 10:13 | Advice: embrace everyone’s greatness | | 11:10 | Humorous “glad I’m a dude” quote |

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is a blend of confessional vulnerability, group humor, and reflective commentary. Joanna’s honesty opens space for the cast and listeners to reflect on the pressure to measure up, the invisible competitions people wage with each other and themselves, and the freeing realization that “there’s room for everybody to be awesome.”

Ultimately, the show encourages self-acceptance, empathy, and finding joy in others’ strengths instead of letting insecurity guide friendships—a message delivered with both laughter and real empathy.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

Joanna Rodriguez is back.

[D]

Joanna.

[C]

What's up, Joe? Ro.

[B]

I mean, I'm a little hesitant to talk about this because I just don't want people to judge me and think that I'm like, it's too late for that, honey.

[D]

You're on the radio. Yeah, it comes with the territory.

[C]

It's a little bit like being on the reality TV show and saying, I want to try to keep my private life private. Yeah, you're on the radio. People are going to judge you.

[B]

People judge you.

[C]

They just judged you on you saying that you didn't want to be judged.

[B]

It's over.

[A]

It's not so much a judging as it is just a critique.

[B]

Okay, that's a nice way to put it. Much better.

[C]

What did you call it a couple of years ago? We weren't criticizing. We were evaluating. Just evaluating your material.

[A]

Yeah, we're just evaluating your situation. We're not judging you.

[B]

Okay, well, evaluate, if you will, my situation with.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're a skank.

[B]

So. Okay. Jason has a really good, big group of friends.

[C]

For those of you that don't know, Jason is the not fiance.

[B]

The not fiance.

[E]

The boyfriend.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Of two years.

[B]

And he has a really great big group of friends, and he still keeps in touch with them. Well, one friend in particular has a fiance who is just perfect. Perfect in every way, shape, and form.

[C]

You've talked about this girl before.

[B]

Yeah, I have. This is the girl that we wouldn't invite to go rafting because she's too pretty and all my friends would be too intimidated to wear a bathing suit around her.

[C]

All right, when you say all my friends would be intimidated, were you the one that spearheaded the charge to keep her out of that group?

[B]

I wouldn't say I was at the head of. I wasn't the leader, but I definitely took place in that parade.

[C]

Somebody suggested she, don't be. She's not invited on that trip. And you just sort of ran with it.

[B]

It was just, if she goes, I'm not going. And so I want my friends to be there well, my thing with her.

[D]

Is she not a nice person?

[B]

No, that's the thing. She's so sweet. And when I say she's perfect, I'm talking about she's funny, she's sweet, she's beautiful. She's everything that I'm not. I'm not gonna say I'm not a pretty girl, but this girl is like supermodel beautiful. She's tall. I'm not tall. She's blonde. I'm not blonde.

[C]

She's sweet.

[B]

She's sweet. I'm not sweet. She has a great. She has a great career, you know, And I'm not saying I don't have a great career, but I'm just getting started in my career. She's in the middle of it and

[A]

in crappy industry, but go with it. You're doing fine.

[B]

Yeah, I'm great, so. And you know, she's engaged. I'm not engaged.

[D]

And, you know this girl intimidates you.

[B]

Intimidates the crap out of me. And I just don't. I'm just really hesitant. We're going snowboarding with them this weekend. We're staying at her apartment. I'm just really not looking forward to this weekend at all. And I hate saying that because it sounds so superficial and.

[A]

Why don't you make her your best friend?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Make her your best friend.

[B]

I don't really want to make her my best friend.

[C]

Why would Joanna have a best friend that would outshine Joanna? You don't do that.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

Because you just don't.

[A]

I do.

[D]

I think Joanna feels like she's constantly being compared to her.

[B]

It's not that I'm.

[D]

I'm comparing. Comparing yourself?

[B]

I'm comparing myself because.

[D]

Do you do that always with other women?

[B]

No, I think with her, I just feel like she hits me in my biggest insecurities, which is, you know, her overall. Her. She hits my.

[C]

You offend me because you're.

[B]

You.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Do you know a lot about her?

[B]

Like, personality wise? I mean. Yeah. I mean, she's. I know as far as, like, she's a nice person and she's very funny. She cracks me up all the time, which is horrible because I'm the funny one, not her.

[C]

You know, she's got looks and humor on you.

[B]

Yes. And height.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I mean, it's just flawless. I cannot express to you how flawless this girl is.

[D]

I'm just confused where the competition comes in, because if for some reason you guys were going on a girls weekend and you guys were gonna all go out and try to Hook up. Like, I might understand being intimidated because all the guys are gonna like her or wanna get her number or whatever it is. But you guys are on a couple's weekend. She's engaged to one of Jason's friends. You're about to be engaged to Jason in the next two years. At least.

[C]

Allegedly.

[D]

I'm just kidding. In the next couple of months or whatever it's going to be. So we're talking about, like, two couples that should be on very level playing field, that can form a friendship. And this may be somebody that's in your life for a really long time. If you and Jason get married and he's really close to this guy. Like, I don't understand where the competition factor comes in. Because Jason loves you, he wants to marry you. His friend is in love with her. She wants to marry Jason's friend. She's not after your guy. I don't understand where the competition comes from.

[B]

I don't understand either. It's just this weird competition that I have in my head.

[A]

I know where it comes from.

[B]

Where?

[A]

Let me answer that question. Ask Joanna. Okay, here's the problem. See, you know what? This girl is perfect. She's so perfect. And I'm Joanna. I'm the star of the show. Everywhere I go, it's me. Like, look at how cute I am. Like, when I have my hair long, people are like, oh, my God, you're so beautiful. When I cut my hair short, people are like, oh, my God, look how good you look with short hair. Look at me. Look at everything about me. God, I am funny. People like me. People are supposed to be intimidated by me. And now I go there, and this girl is getting attention. She's pretty and she's funny. Like, I mean, I hung out with Michelle and Michelle was really pretty and she was really tall, but she wasn't funny. I mean, I let her think she was that way, she would stay around, but she wasn't. This girl I don't have any control over. She's with a guy who I don't like. I can't kick her out because it's Jason's friend. It's not my friend. I usually kick out people who are better than me.

[C]

Are you nervous that you're not gonna be the center of attention and she is?

[B]

No, not at all. No. Honestly, that is not my thing.

[A]

Oh, my God. Honestly, yes, it is.

[B]

No, I'm just telling you, she hits on in my insecurities, which. She's tall, she's blonde, she has a great career, she's engaged, like, all the things that are just not.

[C]

I mean, she's got it all.

[B]

She's got it all.

[E]

She could be looking at you the same way, hitting on your. Your short.

[D]

You're cute.

[E]

You've got brown hair, beautiful hair, beautiful eyes. You're naturally pretty. You've got a great relationship.

[A]

She got a natural rack, or did she have to buy hers, too?

[B]

She. She purchased hers, too, all right.

[E]

In the same situation as you are,

[C]

but hers costs more. Hey, Mark. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[A]

Hey. Hey, guys. I love your show.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

It just seems like, you know, you're projecting all of your on this girl. People with straight hair want curly hair. People with curly hair want straight hair. You know, maybe this girl wants to be more like you, and you're preventing this friendship, you know, with all of your insecurities.

[C]

That's exactly what Wendy was saying there, except she didn't use the S bomb.

[E]

I try not to curse on the radio.

[C]

I think it's funny. That dude, he never even realized he cussed on the radio and just kept going for it.

[E]

I think if you just got to know her and maybe started that sort of bond and just get to feel her out, she may have the same type of insecurities, and you might find

[B]

that out, seek out her flaws. Yeah.

[E]

Okay, well, everybody has their own flaws and their own insecurities. So if you dig deeper and get to know her a little bit better, then maybe you'll figure that out.

[C]

You need to find her weak point, her flaws.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And totally press on it. Right. And work on her.

[B]

Find her flaws and expose them on the radio.

[D]

Gotta let it go.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you know what? It doesn't help that, like, my group of friends feel the same way I do about this girl, and we're constantly like, she's perfect. There's no way you're gonna compete with the perfection that is.

[D]

But, see, what's a competition? Who are you competing with and why? What for? What are you competing for?

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Being the best in the whole wide world at whatever she makes you a major.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I am the princess. I am the greatest girl ever to leave the country in Mexico.

[B]

Have you never met. Have you never met another girl that you're just like, wow, that girl just really has everything. She's so perfect. And, like, it's not that I'm competing with her. It's just that.

[D]

And I think that that perfection thing is dangerous because she's not perfect. She's A human being, just like you are. And she's probably got all kinds of insecurities and things she's not sure about, just like you are. But you're sort of putting her on this pedestal, and you're sort of creating this mock competition that doesn't exist.

[C]

Did you used to be, like, there

[D]

are other women in the world that, like, you can say are amazing and talented and beautiful. That doesn't take away from what you are.

[C]

Is this something that you had to work on? Because you. You certainly speak freely about it.

[E]

I think everyone has.

[D]

I mean, I don't think that I've really. I don't think I've had to work

[C]

on that perfection thing Wendy has.

[B]

Oh, I mean, you all. I. Well, I can't.

[E]

I compare myself to other people. And you want to be as good as the next girl and a go getter and the best of the best. And I can see where Joanna's insecurity plays in. You just want to be as good as the next girl and if not greater than the next girl.

[D]

Competition, like, inside of a competition. I can get that.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Like, if you're both going for the same job. Right. Like Wendy, you're up for a new job with somebody else? Yes, I get the fierce competition, sizing her up, whatever. Because there's a goal, right? There's something that you're in both in competition for or for a guy or for whatever else. I understand there's inherent competition there, but what Joanna's talking about is just life. Like, who's winning in life? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.

[B]

But don't you think that's what we do with celebrities, though? We're constantly comparing ourselves to a celebrity, and the difference is, like, we see a beautiful celebrity, and we're like, oh, well, like Megan Fox. We think she's beautiful. We think she's perfect. Oh, but she's got that tattoo on her arm that knocks her down. We're always trying to knock the celebrity down so that we feel not as inferior to them. And that's kind of like she to me, Like, I. I haven't found anything to knock her down with yet.

[C]

But why do you have to.

[B]

I don't know. I do that with celebrities too, though. I think all females do that.

[C]

So knocking. The only way to make you feel better about you, then is by knocking somebody else down.

[B]

In my own head.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I guess I think if you can change the way that you think about it and realize there's room for everybody to be awesome and beautiful and cool and smart and all of the things that you're intimidated by her about and that you are those same things. Like, I think you'll feel better than you will if you knock her down.

[C]

If I hear you clearly, what you're saying is you don't mind that there are other women that are beautiful, have great senses of humor, have a great job. You just don't want them to have a sense of humor that's better than yours, better looking than you, and have a better job than you. You want to be top tier.

[B]

I mean, I guess, I guess that's my personality is that I want to be the best and the best out there. I don't think I'm not pretty. I just think she's prettier. I don't think.

[A]

Do you ever picture she.

[B]

You can see her on my Facebook.

[C]

Okay, I would like to see this. I want to see this flex. Show us the flawless woman. Bring me this flawless woman. But I do think that it is, it's really honest that I think a lot of women compete with other women they don't even know they' competition with.

[A]

So glad I'm a dude. I'm gonna hug my testicles later today.

[C]

Save that.

[E]

Save.

[A]

I can't even fathom.

[C]

If you're not too tired afterwards, you could, you could do that to me too.

[A]

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