Vault: She Didn’t Wake Up for 26 Hours…Why?

Summary

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The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: She Didn’t Wake Up for 26 Hours…Why?
Date: April 7, 2026
Participants: Bert, Melissa, Jeff, Wendy

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers on Melissa’s jaw-dropping tale: after an intense work trip, she managed to sleep for 26 hours nearly straight—waking up only briefly to eat. The cast dives into sleep habits, the effects of exhaustion and medical history, friendly teasing, and relatable stories about sleeping in as both teens and adults. The conversation is light-hearted, funny, and peppered with personal anecdotes and playful banter, all wrapped in the group’s signature authenticity.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

Melissa’s Legendary Sleep Session

[02:03 - 05:58]

• Melissa sets the stage by explaining her life-long love of sleep, intensified by health challenges and physical exhaustion after a demanding work trip.
• She details her return from an 18-hour-a-day work trip in LA, hitting her exhaustion peak upon arrival in Amelia Island for a vacation with Katie.
• Despite initially planning just a nap, Melissa reveals she effectively slept from 10am Friday to noon Saturday—with only brief, food-related wake-ups.

“So 10:00am on Friday, I'm in bed. Okay. And I don't get out of bed until noon on Saturday. ...Take an hour out of that for eating.”
–Melissa [05:16]

• The cast expresses disbelief, with Jeff confirming, “26 hours?” and Melissa simply responding:

“Yes, 26 hours of sleep.”
–Melissa [05:53]

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Factors Behind the Ultra-Marathon Nap

[03:16 - 05:12]

• Physical reasons: Melissa points to post-transplant fatigue, her immunosuppressant meds, and the exhaustion from back-to-back work events.
• Travel impact: She flew a red-eye, got minimal sleep on the plane, and mentions taking Xanax to manage flight anxiety, noting the medication had mostly worn off by the time she crashed into bed.
• Self-care: Melissa emphasizes her need for naps due to medical circumstances, calling it “immune system maintenance.”

“I just got to make sure that I, I kind of keep a self check and take care of myself.”
–Melissa [03:32]

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Group Reactions & Sleep Confessions

[05:58 - 08:12]

• Banter breaks out as the others jokingly compare their own sleep “records” and poke fun at Melissa.
• Wendy admits she once slept 24 hours straight as a teen while vacationing in Florida, believing she’d just napped and missed lunch.
• Bert and Jeff debate whether “teenager sleep” even counts, as those years are notorious for epic lie-ins.

“If I got 26 hours of sleep, I'd be six foot three.”
–Bert [05:59]

• Jeff presses Melissa on details (eating/peeing), and they marvel at her body’s ability to stay down for so long.

“Did you pee the bed?”
–Jeff [06:57]
“I did not pee the bed. ... The only reason I woke up is because Katie came in.”
–Melissa [06:58]

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Mental Aftermath & Hypothetical Scenarios

[07:24 - 08:23]

• Jeff discusses his own sleep habits, saying he could never fall back asleep after such a long nap due to his mind taunting him.
• Group laughs about waking up after so long and no knowing “what year it is:”

“Did you get up and you're like, is Obama still president? What year are we?”
–Jeff [07:39]
“How’s President Reagan doing?”
–Melissa [07:46]

• Melissa assures them she felt fine on waking, not groggy or disoriented:

“I woke up the next morning, I was like, okay, I'm good. ... Well, Ms. Carter’s back. Hybrid, come on.”
–Melissa [07:29]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Melissa’s “cat nap” persona: “They tease me about being like a cat in a sunny window.”
  –Melissa [02:14]
• Health & sleep: “If I feel myself getting too tired or whatever, then I need to excuse myself, take care of that, take a quick nap, come back, be good.”
  –Melissa [03:30]
• Casual roasting: “Melissa’s cheap and tired.”
  –Burt [02:16]

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Key Timestamps

• [02:03]: Melissa begins her story about her epic sleep.
• [03:16]: Details on the exhausting LA trip and self-care needs.
• [05:16]: The 26-hour nap confession.
• [05:59]: Bert’s comedic reaction to Melissa’s sleep.
• [06:58]: Details on not peeing the bed and waking up.
• [07:29]: Melissa describes how she felt after waking up.
• [07:39]: Jokes about waking up out of sync with time.
• [08:23]: Discussion on how long naps affect the ability to sleep again.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a humorous, relatable exploration of sleep, self-care, and the toll of travel and health challenges. The cast’s friendly teasing and candid honesty about their own quirks makes for an engaging listen, leaving the listener with both laughs and a dose of compassion for anyone running on empty.

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Transcript

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[Melissa]

wondering, I am curious what the record is and how close I got to it. And we're talking about. I'm talking about sleeping. Okay, now I they tease me about being like a cat in a, you know, a sunny window. Where I curl up and I can sleep.

[Burt]

Melissa's cheap and tired.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'm cheap and tired. I am cheap and tired. Save that. But not cheap in that way now. So anyway, so I love to sleep. I can sleep and I don't get enough at night, but boy, in the afternoons do I make up for it. But no. When I was a teenager, I was one of those that like any teenager, I would sleep until early afternoon. But then when I became an adult, I actually got out of that and I, you know, morning person, everything. But then when I got sick and I was on dialysis and it wore me out, I started taking like four hour naps in the afternoon only because I had to. That's the only way I could get my energy back. So when I got my kidney transplant, I only cut that in half, even though I probably don't need a nap anymore. But I sleep a couple hours in the afternoon every day. So they give me a hard time.

[Burt]

Two or three hours in the afternoon.

[Melissa]

Two hours in the afternoon, yeah. So these guys give me a hard time about that for loving to sleep. But I outdid myself, even outdid the teenager part of myself when I got back from la. Well, we were in Amelia island, so we weren't.

[Burt]

Let's also establish in LA you were working 18 hours a day doing interviews.

[Melissa]

Totally contributed to that. And that's why I allowed myself to do this. Yeah, because I had told these guys there was, you know, some, there's a lot of events that FOX was so awesome to us in LA and a lot of events going on and there were times where, you know, I had told Jeff, Jeff or Burt, one of you, I said it was immune system maintenance where I had to go, you know, kind of just crash for a half hour and crash and come back because, you know, for me my immune system is lower than most because of the medicines I take for the transplant. So I always have to keep an eye on if I get too tired, if I'm too, you know, too cold or too this. I just got to make sure that I, I kind of keep a self check and take care of myself. And if I feel myself getting too tired or whatever, then I need to excuse myself, take care of that, take a quick nap, come back, be good. So I don't have the endurance that a lot of people have. And so knowing this, when we got back from la, it was a Thursday when we all were leaving the American Idol stuff and going up to our vacations for Memorial Day, I actually flew from la to Jacksonville and. And met Katie at Amelia island, where she had a work event over the weekend. So she's like, you know what? Why don't you just come with me, stay at the place we're at and then, you know, just. We'll have the weekend there. So she was already at her conference by the time I came in. And the plan was I go in, I just go into where we were staying and I just go straight to bed. And then when she got back from the conference, I'd wake up and we'd have the rest of the day. Fine.

[Jeff]

Did you fly? Just some technical questions in case Guinness asks for the record. Did you? Red eye.

[Melissa]

I did. Red eye.

[Jeff]

Did you sleep on the plane?

[Melissa]

No, I'm not good at sleeping on planes. I dozed. But let's say if I slept on the plane, it was maybe 10 minutes, 15, 20 times.

[Burt]

And even that's probably a light sleep where you can still hear everything go on, but you're technically asleep.

[Melissa]

I jerk and I wake back up. Bobs back up pretty fast. Whiplash, right. And I do take Xanax on flights, but by the time I got to Jacksonville, the Xanax would have worn off, so. But there was still a little medication in my system.

[Burt]

This was like the perfect storm. You're working 18 hours, you got the Xanax that's wearing off.

[Melissa]

It is time for Melissa to be 16 again. So I. And I tried to time this so I get to the place we were staying at 10, let's say 10 o' clock in the morning. So 10:00am on Friday, I'm in bed. Okay. And I don't get out of bed until noon on Saturday. What? And take an hour out of that for eating. So when Katie came in from the conference and she woke up and ate

[Jeff]

and went back to bed.

[Melissa]

Yes, I woke up and ate, went back to bed. Then her and the other people we were hanging out with, they went out, came back in, I got up and ate again and went back to bed.

[Burt]

26 hours. Yes, 26 hours of sleep.

[Melissa]

Slept.

[Burt]

If I got 26 hours of sleep, I'd be six foot three.

[Melissa]

Save that. So I say one to two hours. Take away from that for the eating.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Melissa]

But I slow.

[Jeff]

How do you physically do that?

[Melissa]

Wow. I laid there and slept. You have.

[Burt]

Wendy, you've gone longer than that.

[Melissa]

You gotta break my. What is.

[Wendy]

Well, it's about the same time I can.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

I don't know. It was when I was a teenager, I guess.

[Jeff]

Doesn't count.

[Wendy]

It was pretty long time it was when I was vacationing in Florida. I went to sleep. I went to sleep around 3pm because just taking a nap, I didn't wake up until the next day at the 3pm So I slept for a full 24 hours. And I thought it was the same day and asking where my lunch was, why I wasn't like waking up.

[Burt]

Hours of sleep.

[Jeff]

Yeah, high school and college stuff doesn't count.

[Burt]

I don't think you would think that your body would wake you up for food more than once and you just woke up one time it would be to pee.

[Melissa]

I can't even get through one night. Did you pee the bed without having to be honest?

[Jeff]

Did you pee the bed?

[Melissa]

I did not pee the bed. Okay. No. 2, I was probably dehydrated from the flight. So, yeah, that's probably it. But I always have to be. The only reason I woke up is because Katie came in. So the first time Katie came in from the conference, she kind of. It jostled me up. And so I said, well, since I'm up, let me get something to eat because I was hungry. It went right back to sleep. And the only reason I woke up the second time is because Katie came. It was like midnight. Katie came in and are you still asleep? And jostled me up and I ate and went back to sleep.

[Burt]

When you woke up, did you feel like you could just conquer the world or were you still tired? Like, it was almost a jet, like, thing or normal?

[Melissa]

Like, I woke up the next morning, I was like, okay, I'm good. And then everybody's like, all right, well, Ms. Carter's back. Hybrid, come on.

[Burt]

It's like that movie Awakening.

[Jeff]

Did you get up and you're like, is Obama still president? What year are we? Are there flying cars yet?

[Melissa]

How's President Reagan doing? But yeah, so what? Yeah, 26 hours.

[Jeff]

See, here's what would have happened to me, which is what I'm fascinated about. Because, like, if you crash the whole day, I would wake up. Like, let's say I'm as tired as I could be. So I sleep eight hours. That wakes me up at 6 or 7pm at that point, I think my brain takes over and it's like, dude, you just jacked yourself up. You ain't going to be. My brain will taunt the rest of my body. You ain't going to be able to sleep tonight, you loser. And then I would be too stressed to fall back asleep. And then it's like, is that what

[Melissa]

your inner voice sounds like?

[Jeff]

You ain't going to be able to sleep tonight.

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