Vault: She Discovered Her Baby's New Name Was His Secret Ex-Fiancée's

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Discovered Her Baby's New Name Was His Secret Ex-Fiancée's

Date: March 23, 2026
Main Theme:
A listener, Camille, calls in sharing a deeply personal dilemma: she wishes to change her two-year-old daughter’s name after discovering her husband named their child after his secret ex-fiancée. The Bert Show team and listeners discuss the emotional fallout, practical implications, and offer opinions on naming, relationships, and how to move forward.

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Episode Overview

The episode explores themes of trust, self-identity, and parental responsibility, centering on a listener’s shocking discovery that her daughter shares a name with her husband’s ex-fiancée—a fact previously unknown to her. Camille wrestles with the idea of renaming her child for the sake of her own peace of mind, while the hosts and callers examine the emotional, social, and developmental impacts, as well as the marital ramifications.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin of the Conflict

• Camille explains the baby-naming deal: she and her husband agreed that he would name a girl, she a boy (02:00).

• Camille's pick for a boy was "Gabriel Ryan;" her husband named their daughter "Lucia Ray," a name she initially liked as it sounded sophisticated and similar to her choice (02:05).

• Devastating realization: Camille learns from her sister-in-law (the husband’s sister) that "Lucia Ray" is actually the name of her husband Greg’s ex-fiancée, who left him just before he met Camille (02:35).

  “I was like, what do you mean… it’s because it was his ex-fiancee’s name.”
  —Camille (02:47)

2. Relationship Transparency and Hidden Pasts

• Camille and her husband had a “no talking about exes” policy, which, in hindsight, feels suspicious to the hosts.
• Bert sums up the group’s concern about secrets:

  “The only person that would propose that [‘no talk about exes’] is somebody that has something in their past that they don’t want to discuss.”
  —Bert (03:29)

• The revelation prompts heated arguments between Camille and her husband; Camille now refuses to call their daughter by her given name (04:08).

3. Should She Change the Child’s Name?

• Team's consensus: At two years old, changing the child’s name should cause minimal confusion or long-term issues (04:44).
• The greater harm is the mother’s inability to say the name without pain; the emotional impact on Camille is clearly a concern for her co-hosts and the callers.

  “The child will absorb that negative energy… and then the child will take it personally and then it will have a complex… the child didn’t do anything wrong.”
  —Melissa (05:07)

4. Listener and Team Advice

• Most listeners and hosts strongly support Camille changing the name quickly for her own wellbeing and for her daughter:
  • Stephanie: "She has spent 25% of her child’s life not being able to address her child by name. I say change it and do it yesterday." (04:37)
  • Several suggest the social ramifications of keeping the name are worse than changing it.
• Advice on explaining the change:

  “I would make your husband explain it. If he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, I would say, why don’t you go talk to him and he’ll explain…”
  —Stephanie (06:21)

5. Parental Identity and Naming Significance

• Jan notes that personal identity and family stories about names carry weight:

  “There’s so much meaning behind it… this kid’s gonna know the meaning behind it.” (07:07)

• Stephanie connects the ongoing association for both child and parents:

  “He thinks about his ex-fiancée every time he says her name.” (07:33)

6. Personal Stories and Validation

• A caller named Rachel shares she was adopted at three and her name was changed; she doesn't remember her original name and wasn't traumatized (08:19).
• Hosts reinforce that children adjust quickly at a young age.

7. Marital Fallout

• Camille’s larger struggle is deeper than the name: learning her husband is still “passionate about another woman” (08:58), and potentially being manipulated by him deflecting blame and minimizing the issue.

  “He’s one of those guys that can turn around any argument into it being your fault.”
  —Jan (10:36)

• Bert and the team suggest that fixing the marriage will be much harder than renaming the child.

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Memorable Quotes and Moments

• Bert, on the naming policy:

  “The only person that would propose that is somebody that has something in their past that they don’t want to discuss.” (03:29)

• Stephanie, on the impact for daughters:

  “As a girl, I would be really scarred and hurt that my father disrespected my mother in that way, and I wouldn’t want that name.” (06:55)

• Camille, on coping:

  “I won’t call her by her name anymore. I can’t.” (04:08)

• Jan, on re-naming:

  “Your child’s two, right? Yeah, she’s not gonna remember.” (04:20)

• Bert, on memories attached to names:

  “Every time I see her name, I think of the ex. Chandra.” (08:06)

• Stephanie, humorously frustrated:

  “Why don’t you name her after her father and call her ‘a hole’?” (08:53)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:00: Camille explains how they picked the name.
• 02:47: Discovery that the daughter’s name matches the ex-fiancée’s.
• 03:29: Bert highlights why people hide their relationship pasts.
• 04:08: Camille reveals she can’t use her daughter’s name anymore.
• 04:44: Debate on the practical side of changing names at age two.
• 05:07: Melissa discusses emotional impacts on the child.
• 06:55: Stephanie voices the daughter’s potential future perspective.
• 08:19: Rachel calls in about her experience of name change at age three.
• 08:58: Camille questions her husband’s ongoing attachment.
• 10:36: Jan calls out the husband’s manipulative tendencies.

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Conclusion & Takeaways

• Group consensus: Camille is urged to change her daughter’s name promptly; children are resilient at this age and having a name with positive personal significance is vital.
• Emotional well-being: The mother’s feelings and ability to wholeheartedly use her child’s name are more critical than logistical concerns.
• Deeper issue: The marital relationship presents larger concerns—trust, honesty, unresolved feelings, and communication breakdown—which Camille is advised to address separately, possibly with professional help.

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Overall Tone:
Candid, sympathetic, occasionally irreverent, with a strong undercurrent of support for Camille and concern for her child’s emotional future. The humor and personal anecdotes from the hosts keep the discussion engaging and relatable.

Transcript

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[Bert]

The third show, Camille is on hold and she's ready to go. She wants to change the name of her two and a half year old.

[Camille]

Oh.

[Bert]

Seems a little tardy to me.

[Jan]

Tardy, That's a fun word.

[Melissa]

I have not heard that word since, well, whenever.

[Bert]

Ring the tardy bell. Yeah, but she says she's got good reasons. All right, let's hear Camille out here, shall we? Not judge till we hear.

[Melissa]

All right.

[Bert]

Melissa. Rolling the eyes already.

[Melissa]

Okay, two and a half years old, change your child's name.

[Bert]

Hey, Camille. Good morning.

[Camille]

Hey, good morning, guys.

[Bert]

So what's going on with your kid now? Two and a half years old. You want to change his name?

[Camille]

No, she's only two. Actually. She's not two and a half.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Different. Sorry.

[Camille]

It's okay. And yeah, I. It's been eating me alive. Like, I've been wanting to change your name for about six months, actually. And I was hoping that the feeling would go away and it just happened. And I really don't know what to do. I don't know if it's going to scar her. I've been trying to look online and find out information and I can't find anything.

[Bert]

I will. Let's back up for a second. Let's back up. Why did you name the baby the name that you did? What is the baby's name? And why all of a sudden, like, even six months ago, like, why is it, like, okay, this is just not working for us?

[Camille]

Well, I actually didn't name the baby. My husband and I had made a deal that if it was a boy, I got to choose the name and if it was a girl, he got to choose a name. And I was super Excited. I totally had the best name for a boy picked out. Gabriel Ryan. And I was really excited. And it was a girl, and so he decided on Lucia Ray. I was like, oh, that's nice. It actually kind of sounds like Gabriel Ryan. Like, it has the same tone to it, the same sophistication, and so I was okay with it. And about six months ago, his sister, who lives in Washington state, came to visit, and we're not very close, so it wasn't like we had talked on the phone a lot, and she's like, you know, by the way, I just amazed that you let my husband Greg name the kid Lucia Ray. And I was like, yeah, well, it was, you know. You know, no big deal. And she's like, oh. She said, wow, you're so cool about it. Like, cool about what? She's like, what do you mean? About what? Because I obviously had no idea what she was talking about, and it's because it was her. It was his ex fiance's name who. She broke up with him right before we got together.

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[Bert]

So did you. Did you know that there was an ex fiance even at that point?

[Camille]

No. I have no idea. Never. You know, we were just. We're just the kind of couple that never. You know, he was kind of a jealous type, and he's like, I don't want to hear about your ex boyfriend. I don't want you to hear about mine. Like, let's just start fresh. And I said, okay, that's cool. I can handle that.

[Bert]

How do you keep that from somebody, though? The. The only person that would propose that is somebody that has something in their past that they don't want to discuss.

[Melissa]

Mm.

[Bert]

How do you feel?

[Camille]

I just thought he was being sweet and wanted to just move forward in our relationship.

[Bert]

Wow. Okay. So he's engaged to this woman, and they were engaged for how long? How long was their relationship?

[Camille]

No, she didn't totally say. She was kind of like, oh, my God. Okay. I'm so sorry for even saying anything. It's between you and Greg, if you want to talk about it. And I was like, okay, she's done her job.

[Stephanie]

Yeah. I don't want to get into this video.

[Jan]

All right.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Melissa]

He and I have been judging him, not you.

[Camille]

He and I now have been screaming at the top of our lungs at each other because I won't call her by her name anymore. I can't. Wow.

[Bert]

Yeah, that does change. Does that change things now, Carter?

[Melissa]

Yeah, I said I'm judging him, not you.

[Jan]

I say change it. I mean, your Child's two, right? Yeah, she's not gonna remember.

[Stephanie]

And you spent how long, Jan? I mean you spent how long trying to get over it?

[Camille]

The last six months? This is something that I'm really, I'm really struggling with.

[Stephanie]

She has spent 25% of her child's life not being able to address her child by name. I say change it and do it yesterday.

[Jan]

Change it.

[Bert]

I'm just thinking out loud here cuz you don't have a lot of time to process it. But man, I mean I've got an almost two year old now. He's 21 months and he knows his name. He comes to his name. There aren't a lot of things he recognizes, but his name is certainly one of them. So for me to start referring to him as something else, I don't think it has long lasting impact or anything like that. But it certainly could be confusing.

[Melissa]

But then I thought that what's the worst impact is if she keeps the name and the child thinks that mom resents her for something when it's not the child because she can't say the name without having a. You know, the child will absorb that negative energy the mom is going to give and then the child will take it personally and then it will have a complex and the child didn't do anything wrong.

[Bert]

This may be a little more complicated than we initially thought. 404-74-01, Q100 and if she does change

[Jan]

it, as she can tell her daughter many years later when she's older and can understand it, hey, you originally had this name and here's the reason why we changed it, whatever. And then she's kind of got a unique story story to tell or something like that.

[Stephanie]

When it's also the reason that your father and I aren't together anymore, you

[Camille]

know, But I mean like that's the point that it's come down to. It's like he's.

[Jan]

Well, he.

[Bert]

Yeah, that's horrible. Linda, you're on Q100. Huh?

[Camille]

Why would you have change it, change it yesterday? They'll adjust to. Because I have no children. If you started calling them like Richard and then you change it to something, their middle name. They adjust at that age. But don't keep waiting, do it now as she said. Stephanie, you know what, what about the social issues of me changing the name and then having to explain it to every person?

[Stephanie]

I would explain it.

[Melissa]

I'd explain it like you explain it to us.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, I would explain it. I wouldn't even explain it. I would make your husband Explain it. If he doesn't think it's a big deal, I would say, you know what, whatever. You said his name was Jerry, or whatever you'd say. Why don't you go talk to him and he'll explain and then he'll have to say, well, and no, 1 0, nobody will be on.

[Jan]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Melissa]

This is when you're confident in your answer. Oh, you want to know why I changed the name?

[Bert]

Bah.

[Melissa]

Here's the reason. They're like, okay, sounds good.

[Bert]

I would refer all questions regarding this subject to my husband.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Bert]

Hey, Stephanie. Go ahead. You're part of the Burt Show.

[Camille]

Hi. I just wanted to say she should definitely change the name because as a girl, I would be really scarred and hurt that my father disrespected my mother in that way, and I wouldn't want that name. I would have wanted her to change my name.

[Jan]

That's a totally different Identified after that. I mean, that's. I mean, that becomes part of your story, how your parents named you. You know what I mean? You can think about. I mean, think about that. Like, where do they come up with the name? There's so much thought put into the name. There's so much, you know, for a lot of people, it's a family name or it's named you after my favorite great aunt or my favorite, you know, or your great great grandmother or your great great grandfather. There's so much meaning behind it that this kid's gonna know the meaning behind it.

[Stephanie]

He thinks about his ex fiance every time he says her name.

[Bert]

Why that to her?

[Stephanie]

Every single time.

[Bert]

Change it.

[Stephanie]

Change it.

[Melissa]

Change it today.

[Stephanie]

Honestly, I mean, I'm just saying, Bert, like, I know it's.

[Jan]

I can tell you how. Go down, start at Social Security.

[Stephanie]

It's a unique name, but like the girl you dated, Chand Chandra or whatever.

[Bert]

Even I forget her name, right?

[Stephanie]

What's her name?

[Bert]

I forget her name is Inconsequential.

[Stephanie]

Okay. Inconsequential. Every time you hear someone else named Inconsequential, don't you, for one second, she pops into your mind.

[Bert]

Absolutely. There was. There's a reporter from Atlanta magazine that has the same name. They. It sounds a little bit different the way they pronounce it, but every time I see her name, I think of the X. Chandra.

[Jan]

Yes.

[Bert]

Hey, Rachel, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Camille]

Good morning. I just wanted to say I was three when I was adopted, and my parents did change my name because they didn't. They wanted to have my. Their daughter with Their own name. And I don't remember ever being called by my other name.

[Melissa]

So at three it didn't. It didn't scar you.

[Bert]

So what we're hearing here are the social ramifications of you not saying your daughter's name are going to be way more far reaching than you changing that name.

[Jan]

Do you have a new name picked out?

[Camille]

Well, I was going to call her Gabriella.

[Melissa]

Beautiful name.

[Bert]

Sure.

[Stephanie]

Or you can name her.

[Melissa]

Was your ex boyfriend named Gabriel?

[Stephanie]

Why don't you name her after her father and call her a hole?

[Camille]

Well, this is the next question. How do I possibly. I live with a man that is still passionate about another woman?

[Bert]

Yeah, that's another question for another time. But that is an important one right there. I mean the deception there and the fact that he packaged it in such a way to you as him saying, you know, I don't want to know. That's all in your past, right? Let's not go ahead and talk. What he really wanted to do was hide that he had an ex fiance.

[Melissa]

If things don't work out between you, never ever, ever tell your daughter exactly why. Because she's going to feel like it's her fault that y' all didn't make it.

[Jan]

That's true.

[Camille]

Well, I'm hoping that we make it. I'm hoping that we just figure out why he has these feelings still. I don't know. Maybe we won't make it. I don't know. I don't want to think about that in the morning.

[Stephanie]

I honestly think you should, just to see what he does. I think you should pick out an ex boyfriend who has a name that could be modified to be a girl's name. And I think you should say to him, like, let's say you dated a guy named Jesse, right? That can go either way. Or Aaron. Aaron's a good name that, that they can go boy or girl. And I think you could say, hey, you know what? I'm gonna name this Aaron after the guy that I dated my first three years of college.

[Melissa]

But you don't want your daughter to be.

[Stephanie]

No, you don't really do it.

[Melissa]

Point of retaliation.

[Bert]

You don't start talking.

[Stephanie]

You don't really do it. You just do that to see how he genuinely responds. Cause I guarantee you.

[Camille]

No, but I've done that. We've yelled about that. I said, well, what if I named him Cameron? Because I did it again and named her Cameron. He's like, I don't care. The reason why I named her Lucy is because she was a Wonderful woman. And she was full of respect and honor and anyone would be lucky to have that name. Oh, that's a joke. Deal breaker.

[Bert]

Oh, dude. I mean, how many times can you whiff on the same ball?

[Howie Mandel]

Jeez.

[Jan]

He's one of those guys that can turn around any argument into it being your fault.

[Camille]

Right.

[Bert]

You didn't do a very good job on this one because he kept messing it up all the way across the board.

[Camille]

Wow.

[Bert]

Wow. Yeah, that's another issue there. Well, as far as the baby issue goes, everybody calling up saying, no worries, go ahead, change the name.

[Camille]

And that makes me feel better just knowing that people are on my side.

[Bert]

How you handle it with your husband is a totally different situation.

[Jan]

I'd seek somebody else's help in figuring

[Bert]

that out, but the baby wants to

[Camille]

change his name too. Yeah.

[Bert]

Tool is a good one. Camille, thank you very much for calling.

[Camille]

Thanks, guys.

[Bert]

Bye Bye.

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