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- [00:01]
Optum Narrator
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- [00:30]
Found App Narrator
When was the last time you felt in control of your business? Finances, Expenses tracked, invoices sent, taxes ready. That's where Found comes in. Found brings your banking, bookkeeping, invoicing and taxes together in one simple app. Manage expenses, invoice clients, send payments, and prep for tax time. Right where you bank. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Open a Found account for free@found.com that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking provided by lead bank member fdic.
- [01:01]
Host (Birch Show)
This is the Birch Show. Birch show listener Alison here has very open conversations with her 14 year old daughter and her sons. Also about sex. They just let it all hang out, man. And it's pretty interesting to hear, at least for me as a dad. Cause as I said before, I really don't have any blueprint in this area at all. My mom never talked to me about it, my dad never talked to me about it. And I'm still in a bit of a panic even before Hayden comes home and asks me about it. So this has all been great stuff for me to hear. Totally great stuff.
- [01:31]
Caller/Guest 1
Do you feel like you'll be more open with him about it?
- [01:34]
Host (Birch Show)
Allison and I were just talking about this. She said boys are so different than girls are. But I mean the openness I think remains the same, right?
- [01:40]
Allison
Yes, absolutely. Well, that's the whole thing is that you want to be as open. My son has come to me with other issues about, you know, his life because I kept that dialogue in a non judgment issue. Not that there aren't consequences. You teach that there are life consequences to your actions. That's what your job, you know, to me as a parent is, is if you do this, this is the consequence. Like you know, for girls, if you have sex, you're gonna be attached, you're gonna be emotional. These are the consequences to that action.
- [02:13]
Host (Birch Show)
Allison recorded her conversations with her 14 year old daughter and here's some of it.
- [02:17]
Allison
Wait, about like STDs and stuff? Yeah. Can you only get an STD from like having sex? No. I mean you can get it, like any time. Well, I mean, mostly, yes. Having sex. Like if, you know, like herpes. Like cold sores that people have in their mouth. If somebody was to, you know, and they had a cold sore on their mouth, then you would get it on your genitals, and that would suck.
- [02:42]
Caller/Guest 2
I don't have genitals.
- [02:44]
Allison
Yes, you do. You just have the female genitals.
- [02:47]
Caller/Guest 3
Pumpkins.
- [02:50]
Allison
Yes, exactly. No, no, no. It's just genital area. There's, you know, there's female genitals and there's male genitals. Okay, Exactly.
- [03:02]
Host (Birch Show)
That gives you a great snapshot of their innocence right there.
- [03:05]
Caller/Guest 3
But I don't have those.
- [03:06]
Caller/Guest 1
You're like, no, honey.
- [03:07]
Allison
You know, she's so age appropriate, you guys. You know, and that's what part of this is, is that I don't want her corrupted by somebody else or some, you know. I mean, the rule in my house is there's no old. Like they've been told since they were cognizant. You can't, like, we have a. Her brother's two years older. There's no dating two years older. You know, you're not emotionally ready or prepared for being with a boy that's older than you are.
- [03:33]
Caller/Guest 1
That's so true. My first boyfriend was way older than. That was a big, big mistake.
- [03:38]
Allison
Huge, huge. It'll grow you up. Oh, and it's. And it's so. That is for me, the. If you're a parent and you're letting your daughter date older, like we have. Some of my son's friends are dating older. Like he's a sophomore now in high school. And when they were freshmen, there were a few girls dating seniors. Nothing good is gonna come of that. People.
- [03:59]
Caller/Guest 3
A freshman senior.
- [04:01]
Allison
I was in eighth grade and had a junior boyfriend.
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Caller/Guest 3
Oh, wow.
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Caller/Guest 1
Not good.
- [04:06]
Allison
Oh, really? Not good?
- [04:08]
Caller/Guest 1
Well, because you're so impressionable at that age and all you want to do is be cool and accepted and all that stuff. So I love your rule in your house that your daugh can have a quote unquote boyfriend who's 14. Because she's 14. And like, as long as they are 8, what is that 14 year old boy gonna do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And then they're on the same age. Like, I think that is the coolest rule. And I've never heard of that before, but I think it's fantastic rule for anybody's house.
- [04:37]
Host (Birch Show)
Jennifer has a question for you. Hey, Jennifer, you're on the Burt Show.
- [04:40]
Caller/Listener
Hey, how are y' all doing today?
- [04:41]
Host (Birch Show)
Good, thank you.
- [04:42]
Caller/Listener
Good. Yeah, I do have a question. Cause I have a daughter that's about to be seven. Real quickly, though, I just want to say, Melissa and Jen, y' all totally made my weekend by being able to meet you at Pride. That was awesome.
- [04:56]
Caller/Guest 3
Awesome. Thank you.
- [04:58]
Caller/Listener
But.
- [04:59]
But, yeah, how do you start that kind of dialogue? Because, you know, I mean, there. There have been times that I have
- [05:06]
Caller/Guest 2
walked into her room and.
- [05:08]
Caller/Listener
And I know that she is curious and has been, you know, kind of trying to pleasure herself. And, you know, I completely believe in openness and in honesty, and I think that only way to go. So how do you start that, that open dialogue at such a young age, letting them know that, hey, it's okay to come to me with. Without them thinking, like, I guess a lot of the callers that you guys were getting saying, oh, yeah, my parents think we have an open relationship, but we really don't.
- [05:42]
Allison
Yeah.
- [05:43]
Caller/Guest 1
Yeah.
- [05:45]
Allison
You know, at 7, I think I remember when they were at that age that I sat them down, like, I had some books, you know, and I just said, okay, I want to have kind of a private conversation with you and just to make sure you understand, you know, I'm sure kids are saying a few things and they might get embarrassed, but again, I just kind of, look, I laugh. I'm like, you're going to have to talk to me about it with a laugh and, you know, and start that off with maybe not having the conversation that day. Laura Berman on it's. I found this whole interview with Dr. Laura Berman on the Oprah website. If you do a search for, you know, how to talk to your kid about sex, she has a whole video, a whole strategy. There's a handbook, a guide that you can download that she's probably the more technical expert on specific questions for your specific kid. I rolled with it. I just trusted communication. I trusted myself to be able to say the right thing to her, and I trusted my relationship with her because I just love her so much and want the best for her.
- [06:49]
Host (Birch Show)
Hey, Michelle. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
- [06:51]
Caller/Guest 2
Hey, guys.
- [06:52]
Caller/Guest 3
Hi.
- [06:53]
Caller/Guest 2
I know that I have a couple of things. There's a couple of good books on the American Girl website that'll help, too, for a younger girl.
- [07:01]
Caller/Guest 1
Okay.
- [07:01]
Allison
Wow.
- [07:01]
Host (Birch Show)
You probably have a dial for that.
- [07:04]
Caller/Guest 2
But as far as, like, anything, I couldn't ask my mom, like, she would be kind of open with me. But my brother helped me a lot. He's nine years older.
- [07:16]
Host (Birch Show)
I'd be a little nervous about that.
- [07:17]
Caller/Guest 3
Well, no, yeah, I'm with you. My sister's 10 years older. My brother's eight years older than I am. And I've saved my sister did a lot to help me growing up, because she was the one that said, look, use protection. Come to me. If you decide that this is the time you want to do that, then you come to me and get it from me. Because she knew that mom and dad were not going to talk about contraception and everything. So I think that, yeah, having older siblings can be a huge benefit. It depends on the older siblings, of course, but at least she sounds like she has a cool older brother. And I had cool older siblings when it came to that. They just didn't know I wasn't gonna need contraception.
- [07:53]
Caller/Guest 1
It wasn't pregnancy that you needed to
- [07:55]
Caller/Guest 3
be worried about the issue for me,
- [07:57]
Host (Birch Show)
Alison, I'm assuming you would not endorse having the brother. Pick up the slack on the sex talk.
- [08:03]
Caller/Guest 2
Actually, I have three younger brothers and we talk about it all the time.
- [08:07]
Host (Birch Show)
This is another Alice. This is Alice.
- [08:09]
Allison
And I listen.
- [08:10]
Host (Birch Show)
It's okay.
- [08:11]
Allison
You know, I actually. It was very funny. You know, we started talking about. There's the thing about Oregon. I don't know if it got played all the way through, but she actually asked me about diagrams. I was like, well, maybe we need to have the orgasm diagram. So I had a client who is a pure romance expert. Right. So there's books in the pure romance catalog. If y' all don't know what PureRomance is, go to PureRomance.com. it's a whole female oriented, female oriented sex toy company. And it's really fun and it makes it okay and comfortable and funny and very girl oriented, Girly oriented company. So there's books in there, and one of them is how to tickle your fancy. Right. So it's the guide to, you know, how to pleasure yourself. Yeah. And so, you know, the whole question is like, oh, God, do I even know how to explain to you how, like, I don't know if I could actually do that. Like, I don't know. So this book gives the chapters on how to do it, and the first three are probably appropriate for her. The other ones, I'm like, give it back to me. After you read chapter three, of course.
- [09:15]
Host (Birch Show)
And she wants to go right to four,
- [09:18]
Allison
but what she does is I'm handing her the book. And she. And Zach's like, my son. He's like, what? And she goes, maybe you ought to raise it. Maybe you need to learn how to pleasure a woman at some point. Oh, so, you know, so they have dialogue about it. I mean, my son and my daughter, they're really cute. And yes, we had to talk with them together and so that they, you know, we just. We have an amazing relationship. And I wish that for everybody. I mean, my kids are such good kids.
- [09:44]
Host (Birch Show)
Here's another. Allison. Hey, Allison. Good morning.
- [09:47]
Caller/Guest 2
Good morning. How are you?
- [09:48]
Host (Birch Show)
Good, thank you.
- [09:50]
Caller/Guest 2
Okay. Yeah. When I was younger, I actually got the talk when I was about 8 years old. I mean, there were some extraordinary circumstances in my particular case. But when my mom realized that I was getting kind of curious about it. She was also my Girl Scout leader. And she actually held a three day class, with parent permission, of course, written consent with my Girl Scout troop. And she had nurses come in and talk to us about, you know, different things that went on. And that was, like, really helpful. And then like, throughout, Like, the whole, like, puberty thing, we had to talk about all that before we could get into, like, the stuff. But, like, we. I grew up in a very religious background. I don't necessarily, you know, do any of that anymore. But, you know, my mom was never, like, we were taught, you know, absence, but she also taught us about, like, contraceptives and birth control and things of that nature. And I thought it was. It was good for me. I waited until I was 19, and I'm so glad that I didn't have any relationships like that in high school. I don't think that I would have been ready for it. And good gracious, how many girls are pregnant in my high school? It was ridiculous.
- [10:59]
Caller/Listener
And I was like, I don't want
- [11:00]
Caller/Guest 2
to have anything to do with any of that. And so, like, I was just grateful that, you know, my mom, like, and I, we talked to her. I mean, we didn't have as open conversations as the other Allison and her daughter, but it was still helpful.
- [11:11]
Caller/Listener
As long as you keep communication open,
- [11:13]
Caller/Guest 2
your kids will be better able to make appropriate decisions.
- [11:17]
Allison
That's it right there. That is. That's fantastic.
- [11:19]
Host (Birch Show)
I told you guys before that I have a friend in Dallas. I mean, in the guilt that he was laying on his daughter without, I don't even think knowing it, that she used to. They signed a purity.
- [11:30]
Caller/Guest 1
The purity ring.
- [11:31]
Host (Birch Show)
It wasn't a ring. It was like a purity.
- [11:33]
Caller/Guest 3
It's like a commitment.
- [11:35]
Caller/Guest 1
They had contracts. Contracts and dances.
- [11:37]
Caller/Guest 3
So your father.
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Caller/Guest 1
To the purity dance.
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Host (Birch Show)
She had it hung over her bed.
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Caller/Guest 3
Offended by that.
- [11:43]
Host (Birch Show)
So every night before she'd go to bed, she'd have this purity contract.
- [11:47]
Caller/Guest 1
And I think the difficult part is they're not doing the Same thing with their sons, right? Like he, I mean if he had a son the same age, would his son have to sign a purity pledge? It's like, why is it the girl's responsibility? That is what's frustrating about that whole thing. Well, I mean there's more but.
- [12:02]
Host (Birch Show)
Hey Michelle, good morning. You're on Q100.
- [12:04]
Caller/Listener
Good morning bird Show.
- [12:06]
Found App Narrator
Good morning.
- [12:07]
Caller/Listener
Hey Alison, I just want to give you a big ups because what you're doing with your kids is the best thing that you can do is have open communication, dialogue, let them know what's out there, what's right, what's wrong. And I'm sure you're the same on other topics like drugs and your son who's driving. Just if parents did that, kids would be more aware and maybe there would be less teen pregnancies. Because I see it rising now. Instead of that number falling, I see it rising in this day and age when everything is out there and open parents, people are still holding back and not talking to them. And you should think about bringing your philosophy to the school system. You might be able to do a program that goes around to the schools.
- [12:47]
Allison
Well, what's interesting that you say that is we actually do inner beauty workshops. Like my company is called Authentic Beauty and we actually have a project called a non profit initiative called Project Authentic Beauty. Now it's not about sex, but the number one thing Dr. Berman says is to teach healthy self esteem is to teach your kid to love themselves and to not look outside of themselves for that self love because you're not going to be looking outside yourself. And she screamed at me last night, my daughter, that I must come to her middle school. Like she was like, when are you coming? I can't listen to these girls anymore say how they can't stand themselves.
- [13:24]
Host (Birch Show)
It seems like such a conservative state though. Like I can't see them green lighting.
- [13:29]
Allison
Well, it's not, you know, you make an open dialogue. You're not talking, I certainly wouldn't be going in talking about actually open sex like that. It creates a dialogue about loving yourself and creating that. I mean we have 93% of women on this planet don't like themselves or don't think that they're beautiful.
- [13:48]
Caller/Guest 3
That's in every state. That's not Georgia. And one last thing I was thinking about, you know, you say your daughter's 14, correct? It made me think about when I was 15 and was sitting in classroom and there was a girl in front of me and she had her calendar open before class started and I looked Down. And I saw on that day there were three stars next to. To the date and there were stars on several days in the calendar. And I just said, well, you know, what are those stars for? And she said, those are every time I've had sex. She'd already had sex three times that morning. That morning before she came to school. Her boyfriend came to her before they came to school when we were 15.
- [14:22]
Host (Birch Show)
Allison, thanks for coming in this morning.
- [14:23]
Allison
Thanks guys for having me.
- [14:25]
Host (Birch Show)
I'd like to hear more. Yeah, I really would. Like, you know, the next time you guys have that talk, you know, if she's open to it.
- [14:30]
Allison
Yeah, she, she's totally. I mean, guys, we just figure it out off air how we want to go because there's so much more information that I dug up. And she definitely. I mean, I can't believe I'm so proud of her because I just. The self esteem that she has, it's just. It almost makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
- [14:44]
Caller/Guest 2
She didn't get that.
- [14:45]
Host (Birch Show)
By luck, you've done a great job.
- [14:46]
Allison
Thank you.
- [14:47]
Host (Birch Show)
I'll have you guys both in again for sure. All right, listen, it's the vert show.
- [14:51]
Jan from Toyota
Hey, campers, it's Jan from Toyota. This summer we're headed to Camp Toyota and the fun starts now. We're kicking things off by kicking up mud. Jump in, campers. We're going off roading in a four runner. Next we're heading to the hot springs in a RAV4 and finally, park your tundras and Tacomas around the campfire because we're roasting marshmallows. The summer starts here.
- [15:15]
Found App Narrator
Dealer inventory may vary, so your participating
- [15:17]
Allison
Toyota dealer for details. Event ends June 1st.
- [15:20]
Host (Birch Show)
Toyota, let's go places.
- [15:21]
Found App Narrator
When was the last time you felt in control of your business? Finances, expenses tracked, invoices sent, taxes ready. That's where Found comes in. Found brings your banking, bookkeeping, invoicing and taxes together in one simple app. Manage expenses, invoice clients, send payments, and prep for tax time. Right where you bank. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Open a Found account for free@found.com that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by lead bank member fdic.
- [15:51]
Allison
So good, so good, so good.
- [15:54]
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