Vault: She doesn't trust her sister's mothering skills

Summary

---

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: She doesn't trust her sister's mothering skills
Air Date: July 29, 2026
Main Theme:
The episode features a listener dilemma about entrusting her kids to her sister’s care during the summer, given doubts about her sister’s parenting style. The cast and callers discuss the challenges of balancing familial relationships with parental instincts, and strategies for navigating difficult family conversations.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cheryl’s Dilemma (00:00–02:46)

• Background:
  • Cheryl, a mother of two (ages 3 and 5), usually relies on a college-student babysitter, but needs summer coverage due to the sitter being abroad.
  • Cheryl’s sister, living nearby and with similarly-aged kids (ages 2 and 5), offers to watch them for free.
• Concern:
  • Cheryl mistrusts her sister's "lazy" and "spacey" parenting style—she lets the kids play in the backyard with little supervision, trusting that the older children can supervise the younger.
• Cheryl’s Quote:

  "She's just a little bit lazy, a little bit spacey, and she kind of leaves the kids to themselves… I don't want to expose my kids to that two days a week." (01:27)

---

2. Cast & Listener Perspectives

Parenting Styles and Family Dynamics (02:46–03:31)

• Bonnie observes Cheryl’s emotional distance when referencing her sister’s kids:

  "You said her children, like, it's a very detached relationship already, it seems." (02:05)

• Bert sides with safety:

  "If you don't trust your sister as, like, a guardian, then it doesn't matter if those are the cousins." (02:26)

Is Cheryl Overreacting? (03:31–04:17)

• Amanda (Caller): Suggests Cheryl is being overprotective, noting her own upbringing outdoors, but concedes after learning the age difference (the idea of a five-year-old watching a two-year-old sounds unsafe).
• Bert clarifies the risk:

  "You've got a five year old taking care of a three year old." (03:58)

• Cheryl defends her approach:

  "I think I oversee everything that they do and… I don't think I'm overbearing about it. But yeah, my sister is just, she is trusting to say the least." (03:10)

Navigating a Conversation with Her Sister (04:17–05:11)

• Melissa on confrontation risks:

  "A woman is most sensitive probably about her weight and about her parenting...that hits right at her core." (04:18)

• Bonnie proposes an indirect negotiation:
  • Suggests offering to pay her sister with the condition of more attentive supervision.

  "I'll even pay you for it because I know that that's going to be extra effort..." (04:47)

Excuses and Alternative Strategies (05:11–06:38)

• Melissa’s “language school” avoidance tactic:

  "I think you come up with something completely separate. Like you want them to learn Spanish, so you're going to send them to a special Spanish school on those days." (05:03)

• Other cast members riff on the idea—choose a story after finding alternative care, so the excuse matches the arrangement.

---

3. Broader Ethical Implications (06:38–07:55)

• Ramona (Caller) challenges Cheryl’s morals:

  "If that's her sister and she thinks she's such a bad parent, then does she not care about her nieces and nephews?" (06:40)

• Bert makes a distinction:

  "Her kids are her kids, but my kids are my kids. Two totally different things, but they're still family." (06:52)

• Cheryl admits the relationship is strained:

  "No, we're not that close. I mean, she's important to me, but I think that our kids, my kids, are more important ultimately…" (07:23)

---

4. Suggested Workarounds & Final Thoughts (07:55–09:00)

• Amanda (Caller) suggests compromise:
  • Enroll the kids in a summer program to minimize time with the sister, framing it as a developmental opportunity.
• Cast emphasizes:

  "Whatever excuse it is, it's got to be like a learning, a development, a something." – Melissa (08:33)

• Comic moment:
  • One caller jokes about taking kids to the Humane Society just to have an excuse.
• Closing:
  • Bert acknowledges the lack of any “clear cut answer” and how tricky family boundaries around parenting can be.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Cheryl:

  "I don't want my sister, their aunt, I guess, taking care of them." (02:35)

• Melissa:

  "You gotta trust your gut in this situation." (06:11)

• Bert:

  "If your gut is telling you, Cheryl, that your kids wouldn't be safe... and something were to happen… you would never forgive yourself." (05:55)

• Humor & Levity:
  • "I just want them to be around animals." (08:44)
• Final laugh:

  "Thanks for the ticket, officer. You're right, I was going too fast." (09:00)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–02:46: Cheryl’s backstory & main dilemma
• 02:46–03:31: Discussion of familial relationships and trust
• 03:31–04:17: Outside perspectives on helicopter parenting vs. leniency
• 04:17–05:11: Risks of confronting a sister about parenting styles
• 05:11–06:38: Creative avoidance tactics and indirect communication
• 06:38–07:55: Ethical debate about responsibility for nieces/nephews
• 07:55–09:00: Practical suggestions, humor, and wrap-up

---

Summary

This episode captures a lively, candid conversation about balancing parental instincts, boundaries with family, and the intricacies of confronting uncomfortable truths about those we love. The Bert Show cast (Bert, Bonnie, Melissa) and callers provide perspectives ranging from tough love to clever workaround strategies, with plenty of humor dropped in. No single right answer emerges, emphasizing how complex and personal these familial decisions can be. The consensus: trust your gut, prioritize your children’s safety, and sometimes—creative excuses are the path of least resistance.

---

Transcript

[Bert]

This is the bird show. Let's get Cheryl on the voice disguiser. Melissa says this one is unsolvable. There's nothing. There's nothing you can do.

[Bonnie]

Hear the story, but, ooh. I don't know how you could ever pull this off.

[Bert]

Well, hey, Cheryl. You are on the voice disguiser now.

[Cheryl]

Hi. Thank you.

[Bert]

Hi. How are you today?

[Cheryl]

I'm all right. How are you doing?

[Bert]

Good. What's going on?

[Cheryl]

So the situation is that I'm a mother of two. I have two kids, three and five, and I work part time because I have to work part time, and the other two days a week, I have a really fantastic babysitter who is. She's a college student. So this summer, she is taking the summer off to travel abroad. And so I won't have her. And so I'm looking for other, you know, other options for those two days a week that I'm at work. And my sister offered to take care of my kids. And, you know, she. The thing is, she lives right down the street, like, within walking distance. She has kids of her own that are my kids ages, and everything should be fine. She doesn't even want to charge me, but I don't. I just don't like her parenting style.

[Melissa]

Oh, and what's her parenting style like?

[Cheryl]

She's just a little bit lazy, a little bit spacey, and she kind of leaves the kids to themselves. They go to the backyard, and they play all day, and she kind of has this attitude that these kids are sort of old enough that if something goes wrong, they know to run in and get mom, and I don't approve of that. I would never let those kids sit out in the backyard all day without parental supervision, and I don't want to expose my kids to that two days a week.

[Bonnie]

Oh, I. Well, I mean, you.

[Melissa]

Tough to navigate.

[Bonnie]

I just love the way you. I mean, instead of saying this, my sister and these are my children's cousins that they would be staying with and spending time with two days a week. You said her children, like, it's a very detached relationship already, it seems.

[Cheryl]

I mean, you're right. I didn't notice that.

[Bonnie]

But those are her cousins that those are their cousins that they could be hanging out with two times a week.

[Bert]

Whoa, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. But if you don't trust your sister as, like, a guardian, then it doesn't matter if those are the cousins.

[Cheryl]

Yeah. I mean, the kids get along well. They get along well together. It's just that I don't want my sister, their aunt. I Guess taking care of them.

[Melissa]

How old are your kids and how old are her kids?

[Cheryl]

My kids are three and five and her are two and five.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

And she really puts them out in the backyard and she's, she doesn't even, she, she really does that, you know,

[Cheryl]

she trusts her five year old to take care of the two year old.

[Bert]

Wow. Yeah.

[Melissa]

So this is not you being an overbearing mother?

[Cheryl]

I don't think so. I don't think so. I mean, I, I do, I, I, I, I take good care of my children. I think I oversee everything that they do and I don't think I'm overbearing about it. But yeah, my sister is just, she is trusting to say the least.

[Bert]

404-741-Q100. Here is Abby. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Amanda]

Good morning. How are you?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you doing?

[Amanda]

Fine. I just wanted to say that it sounds like this mom is just being a little bit overprotective. I mean, I don't see anything wrong with letting kids be in the backyard. I spent my childhood growing up playing outside in the backyard and such and I never had any problems.

[Bert]

You've got a five year old taking care of a three year old.

[Amanda]

Well, I guess I didn't hear that part.

[Bert]

Two year old.

[Cheryl]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Maybe the mom could just talk to her sister and you know, let her know, hey, well, you could watch my kids, but you know, you need to keep a little bit of a closer eye on them.

[Caller 1]

That won't happen.

[Bert]

Yeah, I don't know how. I mean that. A woman is most sensitive probably about her weight and about her parenting. If you're a mom, like for you to tell another woman that she, you don't approve of her parenting style, that hits right at her core. I don't know how you do that.

[Bonnie]

You don't say that. You would never say that. I mean, my thing, how's it not

[Bert]

gonna be interpreted like that though?

[Bonnie]

But my thing is like if, my thing is that if. Do you pay the student that's leaving to go abroad? You pay her to babysit?

[Cheryl]

Yeah, I pay her.

[Bonnie]

Then I would offer them, you know, your sister say, look, you know, it would really, I really, it made me more comfortable if you kept an eye on them all the time because they're younger, so. And I'll even pay you for it because I know that that's going to be extra effort for you and start the conversation off that way and see what happens because, I mean, no way.

[Melissa]

I think you come up with something completely Separate. Like you want them to learn Spanish, so you're going to send them to a special Spanish school on those days, and that's the only reason.

[Caller 1]

But then you have to find a special Spanish school.

[Melissa]

Fine. Do whatever you gotta do. I would not approach the situation with your sister.

[Bert]

Hey, Bonnie, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Ramona]

Good morning, Bert. I just wanna say I agree with the caller. If her sister is irresponsible with own children, then she shouldn't be trusted with hers. The children come first.

[Caller 1]

It's whether or not it's responsible or irresponsible. Like, I don't know if I necessarily disagree with the kids playing in the backyard. Like, if the mom feels comfortable in the backyard, is safe and, and she's able to whatever, that's fine. But if the other mom is. If. If the, if our caller is uncomfortable with that, she's never gonna. Even if she tells her sister, keep an eye on her all the time, she's never gonna be comfortable with it.

[Bert]

If your gut is telling you, Cheryl, that your kids wouldn't be safe around her and you compromised and you allowed your children to be under her care just cause you were trying to be a good sister and something were to happen to your kids, you would never forgive yourself.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you gotta trust your gut in this situation.

[Bert]

But I don't know how you get out of it.

[Melissa]

I'm telling you, Spanish, French, Mandarin.

[Caller 1]

Well, yeah, I wouldn't pick the language until you hire the caretaker. Because if you say, I just really want him to learn Spanish, I'm gonna give him a Spanish nanny, and the only person you can find is like only speaks Farsi, then that's like, you're really on opposite sides of the spectrum there. So you hire the sitter, then you come up with the story.

[Bert]

Hey, Ramona. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Ramona]

Hi. Good morning. I think this is completely ridiculous because if that's her sister and she thinks she's such a bad parent, then does she not care about her nieces and nephews? Has she never said anything to her about her own parenting skills?

[Bert]

I think it's different. I mean, just because you don't approve of somebody's parenting skills doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she'd be hanging out with your own kids. You know, like, her kids are her kids, but my kids are my kids. Two totally different things, but they're still family.

[Cheryl]

I mean, if it's that bad that

[Ramona]

you don't think she would take care of your Kids, then why would you be okay with your niece and nephew being in that situation without never saying anything to her?

[Bonnie]

And see, I'm with you because I think. I mean, it just doesn't sound like they're a very close family. I mean, are you close? It doesn't sound like it, no.

[Cheryl]

I mean, you know, we're close in some ways. We live near each other and we did that so that we could raise families together in a way. But, you know, I don't. I don't get along with her that well. So in other ways, that's the problem, not just with our kids. So. So, you know, no, we're not. We're not that close. I mean, she's important to me, but I think that our kids, my kids, are more important ultimately, and their safety is more important in keeping my relationship with my sister.

[Bert]

You know, Amanda has a suggestion. Hey, Amanda. We have Cheryl here who needs a sitter for the summer, and her sister is available, but she doesn't trust her sister as a guardian. She doesn't like the way that she parents her own kids. So she certainly doesn't feel that her kids are safe around her. So what does she do?

[Amanda]

Well, I would try to contact some type of summer program to maybe where it's just like in the morning time and the sister only has to watch them maybe an hour or two. Or maybe you can find a summer program that they'll watch them until you get off of work. And then you can just say, well, I want them to be around, you know, other kids.

[Bert]

Yeah, there you go.

[Melissa]

Whatever excuse it is, it's got to be like a learning, a development, a something.

[Caller 1]

Even if you have to take them to the Humane Society and have them put in that big cement, people come

[Bonnie]

pat them during the day.

[Caller 1]

I just want them to be around animals.

[Bert]

Cheryl, we gotta run. I wish we had more of a clear cut answer for you, but everybody's really kind of split on it.

[Cheryl]

Yeah, I know. Thank you so much.

[Caller 1]

You don't have to thank us. We didn't do anything.

[Bert]

Yeah, we didn't really do much for you. Yeah, we got a run.

[Caller 1]

Thanks for the ticket, officer. You're right, I was going too fast.

[Bert]

This is the bird show.