Vault: She Followed Her Cheating Boyfriend to Virginia...or did she?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault - She Followed Her Cheating Boyfriend to Virginia...or did she?

Original Air Date: May 25, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and Mary (Listener Caller)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a dramatic, controversial, and wild listener story: Mary claims she trailed her allegedly cheating boyfriend nine hours from Atlanta to Virginia to catch him with another woman—and exacted her revenge in a very tangible, destructive way. The Bert Show team digs into the juicy details, questions the logistics, challenges Mary’s choices, and brings skeptical callers into the fray, all while maintaining their signature playful, interrogative tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Mary’s Story (01:30–02:49)

• Mary states her plan bluntly: “I'm tailing my boyfriend to Virginia." (01:45, Mary)
• Reason: She suspects him of cheating with a high school acquaintance and admits to "kinda" hacking his email. (01:50, Mary)
• Her intentions are clear and intense: "I plan on ruining her car a little bit and ruining the rental car that he has and then going to my family." (02:07, Mary)
• The hosts note the plan wasn’t formulated while drunk, suggesting Mary went through with it “sober reinforced.” (02:20, Radio Show Host)

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2. The Road Trip and the Stakeout (03:28–06:51)

• Mary details how she followed her boyfriend, using her grandma’s car to remain undetected: "I used my grandma's car." (05:01, Mary)
• Route logistics: She meticulously describes the difference between highways 85 and 95, suggesting her boyfriend altered his route—possibly to avoid her. (04:31–04:49)
• She stays on his tail for 9 hours: "Going 95 is nine hours." (05:33, Mary)
• Upon arrival, Mary observes her boyfriend’s reunion with the other woman: "She's all excited and she jumps in his arms...I think I saw red when I saw her do that." (05:43, Mary)

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3. The Revenge: Silly String, Box Cutter, and Hammer (06:51–09:01)

• Details of the act: Mary explains her tools for revenge—Silly String (“Dollar Tree,” 06:55), a box cutter, and a hammer.
• “[I] cut maybe one or two tires and I broke the back windshield and I sprayed silly string on the front hood.” (08:06, Mary)
• She writes “slut” on the side of the car, justifies her actions by her personal connection to the other woman, and documents it with a photo. (08:18–09:01)

Quote:

“You know how they say silly string ruins your car? It’s true. It does.”
— Mary (06:51)

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4. Aftermath: Police, Cover-Up, and Confrontation (09:01–12:44)

• Mary observes as the couple discovers the vandalism and calls the police: “I watched it and they even called the police and everything.” (09:14, Mary)
• She maintains her cover: “They didn’t know it was me...I used cash [at the Dollar Store].” (09:22–10:25)
• When her boyfriend returns, she shows him a photo of the damaged car: “He didn’t know what to do. His face, like, turned completely white.” (09:44, Mary)
• She claims she visited family in Virginia before returning ahead of her boyfriend to Atlanta, and springs the evidence on him upon his return—resulting in him moving out. (12:02–14:09)

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5. Callers Challenge Mary's Truthfulness (11:11–14:20)

• Several listeners express skepticism, calling Mary’s story “fake” and suggesting she fabricated events for radio fame:
  • “I think this girl’s making it up.” (11:11, Caller)
  • “This girl is lying...She is making up this story so she can get on the radio and just be a queen for a day.” (12:57, Caller)
• Mary insists, “You don’t know me. So don’t sit there and say what I would and would not do.” (13:23, Mary)
• The hosts oscillate between dubious and entertained, encouraging Mary to send proof: “If you can back it up and it’s a true story, it is a great story.” (15:34, Radio Show Host)

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6. The Proof and the Status Quo (14:41–15:47)

• Mary says she has a Polaroid-style photo for proof but is coy about sharing it due to self-incrimination.
• When pressed, she clarifies it’s a newer instant-print camera, not a classic Polaroid, adding confusion. (14:59, Mary)
• By episode’s end, the hosts await her evidence, leaving the veracity unresolved but enjoying the spectacle.

Quote:

“Who takes a picture with negatives? Would you have to throw a blanket over your head and a big puff of smoke?”
— Radio Show Host (14:51)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On drunken plans:
  “These plans always sound so good in your mind...and then the result's usually not the same.”
  — Mary (02:07)

• On revenge preparation:
  “I planned on ruining her car a little bit...I had the Silly String. I had a box cutter...and then I had a hammer so I wouldn’t hurt my hand if I broke the window.”
  — Mary (06:51–07:17)

• On skepticism:
  “Why are you giving this girl airtime? It’s just fake. It’s all a lie. It’s so stupid. It’s ridiculous.”
  — Caller (13:27)

• On proof and evidence:
  “She said she’s gonna send us some proof....Mary, I’ll tell you what, if you can back it up and it’s a true story, it is a great story.”
  — Radio Show Host (15:34)

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• 01:30–02:49 – Mary Introduces the Plan; Motivation and Intended Actions
• 03:28–06:10 – The Pursuit: Highways, Logistics, and Arrival
• 06:51–09:01 – The Revenge in Detail: Vandalism and Emotional State
• 09:14–10:25 – Witnessing the Fallout: Police Arrival and Aftermath
• 11:11–13:33 – Callers’ Doubt and Mary’s Defenses
• 14:06–14:41 – Relationship Status Update: Breakup and Moving Out
• 14:41–15:47 – Hosts Push for Proof, Mary’s Evasive Details

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Episode Tone and Style

The episode combines shock, humor, and disbelief: the hosts oscillate between amusement ("You're like Carrie Underwood right now in that country song," 07:18) and skepticism, while listeners call in to voice incredulity or admiration. Mary maintains a candid, sometimes defensive tone, staying in character throughout.

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Summary Takeaway

Did Mary really follow her cheating boyfriend to Virginia and wreck his mistress's car?
Listeners are left to decide for themselves—a testament to The Bert Show’s penchant for outrageous, emotionally charged, and interactive storytelling. Whether true or not, the episode delivers entertainment, catharsis, and a healthy dose of incredulity, all wrapped up in classic morning radio banter.

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Transcript

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[Radio Show Host]

The Birch show so on Friday morning we talked to two Birch show listeners who were wondering if they would be stepping into Psycho this weekend. The first listener we talked to was Mary, who wanted to go on a little road trip.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I'm tailing my boyfriend to Virginia.

[Radio Show Host]

Oh yes you are.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Why?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Why? Because he is cheating on me through Facebook with a girl that we went to high school with and I kinda hacked into his email a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Kinda?

[Radio Show Host]

I accidentally guessed 79 passwords and the 80th was his.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I plan on ruining her car a little bit and ruining the rental car that he has and then going to my family. These plans always sound so good in your mind when you're about to go do them and then the result's usually not the same.

[Radio Show Host]

Without a doubt. And usually what I was surprised with is a lot of these plans are formulated with. With the help of wine or beer or shots or something. But, I mean, we originally talked to these ladies at 7:30 in the morning. The chances of them having been doing shots for a couple hours with all of her girlfriends or finishing off two bottles of wine are pretty low. So this is a sober reinforced plan. Like, even if it was thought up while drunk, someone thought it was good once they became sober. Hey, Mary.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yes.

[Radio Show Host]

So how was. Were either. Was she in the voice disguiser?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Yes.

[Radio Show Host]

Okay, hold on.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay, Mary goes.

[Radio Show Host]

I will tell us. Because he said that he was going to a place in Virginia called Hampton for a concert. And we did have one Bircho listener who hopped on Google and did a little research. And the only thing happening at Hampton this weekend was like a Cirque du Soleil type event. Not really a concert.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, I know. I saw it too. Cause I went to. Because the last thing was there. Remember when I told you I went to the kids concert? That was October 16th.

[Radio Show Host]

Right.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

So that was the last real big event that they were having there. So that's what I went for.

[Radio Show Host]

So tell us about your weekend.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. Did you go up there?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah.

[Radio Host - Ad Segment]

You did?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

And, yeah, it turned out actually a little bit better than I thought because I released anger. I ruined her car. Oh, no,

[Co-host/Interviewer]

slow down, slow down. So you pull into Virginia, and what happens? Take us step by step.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay, well, see, he apparently a friend that work with, because we both work in the same company, and a friend listens to the show, and apparently he just said, well, there's some chick on the Burt show that was gonna tail her boyfriend to Virginia and all this stuff. And he asked me about it, and I was like, no, I'm staying here. I mean, I have to work. I was like, I have to work. And he was like, oh, yeah, you do have to work. Because I told him I put him for overt, which I didn't. So Instead of taking 85 up to Virginia, he took 95.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What does that mean?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

It means, like, 85 goes through, like, half of south, like, the tip of South Carolina, and then through, like, I guess, the middle of North Carolina. Whereas 95 takes you down 75 south. And then you have to go all the way up through all of South Carolina and all of North Carolina.

[Radio Show Host]

So is he trying to throw you off, do you think?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, he tried to throw. Cause he went to Virginia with me before, and he took 85. And I told him not to take 95 because it's like a bunch of trees. There are no, like, stops.

[Radio Host - Ad Segment]

And he never noticed that you were following him?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, because there were other cars on the highway. And plus, I didn't use my car. Oh. I used my car. I used my grandma's car.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So does Grandma know the plan? Was Grandma in on this?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, I just told Grandma that I was gonna go see. See my parents. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just said I was gonna go see my parents. I hadn't seen him in a long time.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay, so you stayed behind him the entire way to Virginia and how.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, how far south of the border? And he didn't even notice me.

[Radio Show Host]

And how far of a drive is that?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, going 95 is nine hours. Wow.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay, so when he got into town, did he go straight to her house?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, this is what he did. Okay, so he went to. I guess he said it was some friend's house. And then they drove. It was a guy, and they drove to a hotel. And then he drove to Hampton and went to her house. And I see her come out and, like, she's all excited and she jumps in his arms. And I was like, oh, I think I saw red when I saw her do that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay, so

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

they go out to, like, dinner or something. Now you got. Mind you, I'm running on, like, two hours of sleep and a nine hour drive.

[Radio Show Host]

Nine hours of a drive making you mad. Like, every mile that passes, you're like, I'm in this full car for nine hours.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Yeah.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I didn't even have the heat on, and I was sweating, I was so mad. And so when they went out to dinner and everything, they went back to her place and. And they went in and they didn't come out for, like, a really long time. And it made me even more mad. So I took. You know how they say silly string ruins your car? It's true. It does.

[Radio Show Host]

Oh, no.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Where did you get the silly string?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Dollar Tree.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Before you left, I mean. Or were those part of your supplies in grandma's car before you got there?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, I had the silly String. I had a. What is it called? A box cutter.

[Radio Show Host]

Oh, Lord.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Mark up the car. And then I had a hammer so I wouldn't hurt my hand if I broke the window.

[Radio Show Host]

Oh, my Lord.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, my Lord.

[Radio Show Host]

Okay, you're like Carrie Underwood right now in that country song.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

No, I'm kidding.

Okay, so were you sitting, like, across the street from the house?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, because of the way it's made. Like, she lives in a Cul de sac. So I had to actually park up the street. Cause when I realized. When he turned down the street, I realized that it was a cul de sac because it like kind of goes. It's like a decline. So it kind of goes down so you can't really see it. But if you get close enough to the edge before you turn, you can see it that it turns around. So I had to keep straight. And then I realized that they didn't come out. It was like an hour and a half that they hadn't come out because they had gotten back from eating at like 10:30 at night. And I was like, okay, it's almost 12 and they haven't come out of the house yet.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

So.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

So I went and kind of cut maybe one or two tires and I broke the back windshield and I sprayed silly string on the front hood.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Did you spill anything or did you just spray it on?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, I wrote on his car. I meant not on his car, on her car. Because he didn't have the rental car with him. Like she came and got him when he.

[Radio Show Host]

So did he leave his car at his buddy's house and his buddy drove him to the hotel?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I left it at the hotel room. And yeah, cuz his brother, his buddy tailed him to a hotel room. So when his buddy took him to the girl's house.

[Radio Show Host]

So when you smashed windows or anything like that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Wow.

[Radio Show Host]

Did any porch lights come on or like dogs start barking?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Have anything? See, cause I. Oh my God.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

I think.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know if she has a roommate, but.

[Radio Show Host]

Oh Lord, what if you got the wrong car?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, no, no, I didn't get the wrong car because I remember like when they like she had photos and stuff on the Internet of her in her car.

[Radio Show Host]

Were you there long enough to witness them coming out and seeing the car?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, I watched it and they even called the police and everything.

[Radio Show Host]

And where did you go when the police showed up?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Well, they called. Well, they didn't know it was me. Like I had smashed the window first and I cut the tires and then I put slut on the side of the car and. And then I went back up the hill and like, maybe, maybe 35 minutes later the police came. But they didn't even have them, like their blue lights.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Did he call you?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No.

[Radio Show Host]

Well, he can't.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

He called me like. And then when he came back, he was like, somebody ruined my friend's car while we were up there. I was like, oh really? And then I had a Polaroid of the thing, like a picture I had took a picture of the car, and I was like, was this the car? Is this what happened? And he looked and he was like. He didn't. He didn't know what to do. His face, like, turned completely white. Oh, you better be careful with that. Well, no, I mean, he. I didn't make any doubles, and I burned. What is it called?

[Radio Host - Ad Segment]

Evidence.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

There you go.

[Radio Show Host]

Yeah. And you. I hope you didn't spend. To use your credit card at the dollar store.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, I use cash.

[Radio Show Host]

Everybody knows that's where you get silly strength. Hey, Tracy. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Why is it that women always get mad at the other woman and do something to them when it's the man who's the dog and cheating? And two, you not know that they can come after you. They can press charges. I mean, you just set yourself up to go to jail. Well.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Well, I don't think he did anything. She did anything. I don't think she even knows that I did it because she had. Nobody's called me or anything.

[Radio Show Host]

But her boyfriend knows the guy, so if they ever become an item, like, he's got. He can say, and I don't know. And you know, you're telling the story on the radio. Hey, Aaron, welcome to the show.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Hey, guys. I just. I think this girl's making it up.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Really?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't. Who's gonna do. Who can follow somebody nine hours and then why are you gonna mess up the girl's car? I mean, it's not her fault.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

I didn't. Well, no, because she knew. Like, she knows me personally. She knows him. We know each other. Like, she knows our relationship status and everything. Like it's different. It would be different for me if I didn't know her. She didn't know me. I'd be extra pissed at him. But I'm pissed at her, too, because she knows the whole situation. If she didn't know. If she was just, like, a mistress who didn't know me or. Or we didn't know each other, that's a whole different story. But if we know each other and she knows the situation and we actually have talked to each other, then that's a different story. She's as more to blame as he is because they both know what they're doing.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So after you do all the damage to the car and take the photograph and do you head back to Atlanta at that point?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

No, I visited my family for a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay, so then you went to go hang out with your family, and then you drove back and you got back before he got back?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And that's when you shoot him the picture.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

He came back, actually earlier than expected, I thought. He said he was supposed to come back Monday, but he came back like really late Sunday night. Hey, when I did the damage to the car, I did it on Saturday. I wouldn't visit my family. And then he came. Well, he came back Monday. It was like 3 o' clock in the morning.

[Radio Show Host]

Hey, today. Today.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, today. So I thought I'd. Late Sunday night, early Monday morning, like 3 o'.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Clock.

[Radio Show Host]

Hey, Kelly, Welcome. Welcome to the show, Kelly. Hey, what's going on?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

This girl is lying. Yeah, she's full of it. She is making up this story so she can get on the radio and just be a queen for a day or something.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

She's in the voices, guys. Hello?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

So what? Everything you're saying is a lie.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay, so you tailed me to Virginia and you saw what I did to somebody else's car.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

I don't have to tell you. To Virginia because you didn't go to Virginia.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

You don't know me. So don't sit there and say what I would and would not do.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

This is a joke. Why are you giving this girl airtime? It's just fake. It's all a lie. It's so stupid. It's ridiculous.

[Radio Show Host]

It's still fun. And I don't care about jokes. I care about ratings.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Hey, Charlie, what's going on?

[Radio Show Host]

What's up?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

It's totally fake.

[Radio Show Host]

Yeah, you're starting to lose me, Mary. And I'm scared to say that because you know where I park my car.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay.

[Radio Show Host]

And clearly know where to get Silly String.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay, I really. Okay, okay, well, let's say I'll post it on the Internet and then I'll let y' all see.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Let me ask you a question. Let me. Let me ask you a question. So you show him the picture this morning? I guess. What's the status between you and him?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

He's gone because he lived in my house.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So he came in at 3 this morning, you showed him the picture, and then now he's moved out.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, I helped him pack some of his stuff up. It's not like all of his stuff, but he left and went somewhere. All right, so he went to a buddy's house.

[Radio Show Host]

So here's the deal. There's a lot of. There's some holes in your story, but you said you got some stuff for the Internet or whatever. So you have all of our email addresses. Will you just shoot us an email of the. Of the evidence that you have of the car? Well, she doesn't have any, but she said she. We'll see. She says she's got stuff for the Internet. Will you shoot us any?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Okay, so I'm going to risk going to. All right, but you said you burned the picture and the negatives, so how

[Co-host/Interviewer]

are you going to prove it?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Negatives? I, I have the picture.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

All right.

[Radio Show Host]

Who takes a picture with negatives? Would you have to throw a blanket over your head and a big puff of smoke?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You said Polaroid. Take a Polaroid. That's. There's no negatives to that.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Not like a Polaroid. What is it? They have that, you know that camera that you take a picture of and it kind of like prints out when you take a picture, but it's not a Polaroid. It's like that New Zealand.

[Radio Show Host]

Hey, you've got, you got one supporter. Stacy. Welcome to the show.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Hi.

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

Good morning.

[Radio Show Host]

How are you?

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Well, I, like I said, I've been

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

feeling crazy this weekend and I actually didn't go through what I thought and I applaud her for doing what she, what she did.

[Radio Show Host]

So you buy her story?

[Caller/Listener Skeptic]

I mean, if she did it, then congratulations.

[Radio Show Host]

All right, well, she said she's gonna send us some proof.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

She'll send it to us. Just send us the picture.

[Radio Show Host]

She's got her email address and we'll look for the proof. And Mary, I'll tell you what, if you can back it up and it's a true story, it is a great story. And if the question was did you step into psycho this weekend? The answer is yes, you did.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yes, absolutely.

But you have to send the picture immediately and not like destroy a car later on today.

[Mary (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm gonna destroy somebody else's car that I don't know.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

M E L I s S A

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