Vault: She found a crocheted doll giving birth.

Summary

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The Bert Show: “Vault: She found a crocheted doll giving birth.”

Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show team dives into an unexpected and hilarious discovery made by producer Tracy while browsing Etsy for handmade dolls. The focal point is an anatomically correct crocheted doll depicting a woman giving birth—a find that sent shockwaves (and lots of laughter) through the studio. The cast’s live, candid reactions drive a conversation filled with disbelief, humor, and questions about who would make or buy such an item.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Shocking Discovery on Etsy

• [01:38] Tracy’s Story: Tracy explains that while searching for handmade dolls on Etsy for her daughter Ella, she stumbled upon an unexpectedly graphic crocheted doll.
  • “So I was recently online trying to find, you know, some cute handmade things for Ella...and all of a sudden I screamed, ‘WTF?’” – Tracy [01:38]
• Reactions: Every person Tracy showed the picture to responded with shock and disbelief.
  • “Every single person I have showed it to, they've said the same thing. WTF? They don't abbreviate.” – Tracy [01:38]

2. Studio Reactions: Seeing is Disbelieving

• [02:51 – 03:13] Group Viewing: Each host sees the picture for the first time; gasps and laughter ensue.
  • “What the...” – Melissa [02:51]
  • “Oh my God. That is not for a child.” – Melissa [03:13]
  • “Please tell me that's an adult doll.” – Melissa [03:22]
  • “I already bought one for Sasha.” – Burton Jeff jokes [03:23]
• The picture is described as something you have to see to believe, prompting the hosts to show each other and urge listeners to check the show’s website for full effect.

3. Detailed Description of the Doll

• [03:33 – 04:14] Unpacking the Doll:

  • Tracy reveals it’s labeled a “childbirth education doll,” but that description doesn’t do justice to its visual impact.
  • “It is an anatomically correct crocheted doll of a woman giving birth. Crocheted.” – Tracy [03:37]
  • “The baby attaches on the inside with a button, and there is detachable placenta.” – Tracy [04:07]
  • “Mommy's curtains match the drapes.” – Melissa [04:14]
  • “She hasn't shaved in nine months, right? She does.” – Host [04:17]
  • “If you're crocheting it, you can give her laser hair removal if you want.” – Burton Jeff [04:21]

• Physical Details:

  • Beige skin, long black hair, naked body, red nipples, anatomically accurate black pubic hair, and a crocheted baby partially emerging.
  • “The baby's face is just starting to come out of mommy, and it's a crocheted little baby also that's peeking out from her body.” – Host [04:38]

4. Who’s Buying… Or Making This?

• [05:11 – 05:32] Existential Doll Questions:
  • “Who buys that?” – Tracy [05:11]
  • “Who makes that? Who sits around and stitches that while watching Jeopardy?” – Melissa [05:13]
  • Joking about encountering someone crocheting it in public:
    • “Oh, this is the placenta for my anatomically correct birthing doll.” – Burton Jeff [05:20]

5. Weird Etsy Finds & Listener Participation

• [05:32 – 06:17] Etsy Oddities & Resources:
  • Listener suggests www.regretsy.com, a website cataloging bizarre Etsy items.
  • Show’s site (q100atlanta.com) features the photo for others to experience.
  • Clarifies search terms to find the doll on Etsy:
    • “Childbirth education doll pattern, or you could just go to our website...” – Host [06:17]

6. Notable Quotes & Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

• “I spent a lot of time online every day searching for material, and this is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.” – Host [02:25]
• “If you're crocheting it, you can give her laser hair removal if you want.” – Burton Jeff [04:21]
• “This is one of those things where you'll want to run video or take a picture of somebody looking at this picture for the very first time...” – Host [06:35]

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Quote / Description | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:38 | Tracy explains her Etsy search and discovering the doll ("I screamed, WTF?") | | 02:51 | The cast’s stunned, collective reaction—Melissa’s first (“What the...”) | | 03:13 | Group agreement: “That is not for a child.” | | 03:37 | Tracy’s clear summary: “It is an anatomically correct crocheted doll of a woman giving birth.” | | 04:07 | The revelation: “The baby will actually come completely out... detachable placenta.” | | 04:14 | Melissa’s classic quip: “And mommy's curtains match the drapes.” | | 05:20 | Imagining someone crocheting the placenta in public—Burton Jeff’s joke | | 05:35 | Listener calls in: “regretsy.com catalogs all of this kind of stuff.” | | 06:17 | How to find the doll on Etsy or the show’s website | | 06:35 | The host suggests videotaping people’s first reaction to the picture |

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Candid, irreverent, and playful—the cast leans into the absurdity of the find.
• Direct, jargon-free explanations and authentic real-time reactions.
• Plenty of humor with a dash of mild incredulity, matching the outlandish nature of the topic.

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Summary

This episode spotlights a truly “jaw-dropping” moment in The Bert Show studio: the collective shock over a childbirth education crocheted doll found on Etsy. While the topic might sound niche, the cast’s authenticity and nonstop comedic commentary turn it into a must-listen for fans of weird internet finds. The story is peppered with exclamations, group laughter, and the occasional grossed-out shudder—making it a perfect showcase of The Bert Show’s chemistry and impromptu hilarity.

Transcript

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[Burton Jeff]

The Burt Show.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

So we've been doing this show now for close to nine years, right? Yep. It takes a lot to shock us. It really does. And producer Tracy here is the one behind the scenes that sets up all the calls. And the most shocking stuff Tracy is behind. So when she sends me an email and the subject line is wtf, I know we got something good. And this is. This is shocking. This is really, really shocking. And you're gonna have to go to our website to get the full benefit of it. But we'll tell everybody in studio exactly what we're talking about and I'll show you guys one by one the picture Tracy's about to show you. This is bizarre.

[Tracy]

Yeah. And every single person I have showed it to, they've said the same thing. Wtf? They don't abbreviate every single person. So here's the deal. There's this website called Etsy.com and it's a really awesome website. It's kind of like a marketplace for people to sell, like, all of their handmade items. So I was recently online trying to find, you know, some cute handmade things for Ella because while I like to be crafty, I don't have time. And I wanted her to have these kind of hand me down type stuff. So I was searching handmade dolls and there was lots of cute stuff. And I'm scrolling down and scrolling down and all of a sudden I screamed, wtf? And I call Scott in there. And I'm like, look at this. And he was shocked.

[Melissa]

He's like, what the hell is that?

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It's the most bizarre thing. It really is. And I spent a lot of time online every day searching for material, and this is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.

[Tracy]

It was so bizarre.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It's pretty bizarre.

[Tracy]

I sent it to Burton Jeff and checked my email every five minutes, waiting for their reply.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

All right. Without telling anybody, describing exactly what it is one by one, come on over to this computer and. And let's get your reactions one by one.

[Melissa]

What the.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Hold on, Melissa.

[Caller]

Hold on.

[Melissa]

I got to share in this experience with everybody who has not seen this, because this is not normal. What?

[Shopify Announcer]

Oh, my.

[Melissa]

Oh, my.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Ken, come over here and take a look at this, and then we'll tell you guys. We'll give you a description of child. Exactly what they're like.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God. That is not for a child.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Wow. Jeff, you've already seen this, right?

[Tracy]

That's not for a child.

[Melissa]

Please tell me that's an adult doll.

[Burton Jeff]

I already bought one for Sasha.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

I don't even know where to start with the description. Tracy, you gotta help.

[Burton Jeff]

Well, just read it.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It's a childbirth education doll. But that doesn't tell you enough of the story.

[Tracy]

That's terrible. It is an anatomically correct crocheted doll of a woman giving birth. Crocheted.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

And it's graphic.

[Melissa]

I mean, yeah, it's crocheted. And it's as if the woman was in stirrups and the baby's coming out.

[Tracy]

And. Yeah, the baby is coming out of her. Now, if you read the description further, you can. The baby will actually come completely out. The baby attaches on the inside with a button, and there is detachable placenta.

[Caller]

Oh, no.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

I didn't even read that part.

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Tracy]

And it's crocheted. It is the crochet.

[Melissa]

And mommy's curtains match the drapes.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Yes. Yes. And she hasn't shaved. She hasn't shaved in nine months, Right? She does.

[Burton Jeff]

Well, the shaving thing. I mean, if you're crocheting. If you're crocheting it, you can. You can give her laser hair removal if you want.

[Melissa]

Oh, come on.

[Tracy]

It is bizarre and creepy and. I don't know.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Yeah, and creepy.

[Burton Jeff]

Bizarre.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It's a beige crocheted doll, and mommy is pregnant, and she's got long, flowing, dark, bl. Black hair, and she's naked, and her breasts are red where the nipples should be. And she. Like you guys said, there is hair down underneath also. That is as black as the hair up top. And then the baby's face is just starting to come out of mommy, and it's A crocheted little baby also, that's peeking out from her body. It is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen on the Internet.

[Tracy]

Who buys that?

[Melissa]

Who makes that? Who makes it? Who sits around and stitches that while watching Jeopardy? Where do you even find a pattern for that?

[Burton Jeff]

What happens if you see the little lady sitting in the waiting room with the doctor and you ask her what she's working on, thinking it's gonna be a scarf or a mitten? She's like, oh, this is the placenta for my anatomically correct birthing doll.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Hey, John, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, how's it going?

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller]

Good. There's a website called regretsy.com which catalogs all of this kind of stuff. It's all weird stuff from Etsy. It's just called regretsy.com

[Melissa]

got to go on that website.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Now we have a picture of the website up on ours right [e-mail]. So you really get the payoff later on today when you go to see it. But I guarantee it's jaw dropping.

[Melissa]

I can't believe you were just scrolling for, like, innocent little dolls and came up.

[Burton Jeff]

Yeah, you must have been shocked.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

And yet a Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning, bird. How do you sell the website you're speaking of Etsy?

[Tracy]

E t-y.com and you could either search

[Host (possibly Burt)]

childbirth education doll pattern, or you could just go to our website q100atlanta.com and we have a picture of it online right now.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

You're welcome.

[Burton Jeff]

No, you know, thank you, Etsy, for giving us this beautiful gift of childbirth in the form of something my grandma would make.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

This is one of those things where you'll want to run video or take a picture of somebody looking at this picture for the very first time because it'll be picture.

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Melissa]

What the.

[Burton Jeff]

Totally the Birch show.

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