Vault: She found out her dad isn't her biological dad.

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode Title: Vault: She found out her dad isn't her biological dad.
Date: July 6, 2026
Featured Speaker: Ashley (caller, with voice disguiser)
Other Participants: Host (possibly Natalie), Co-hosts, Callers (Nick, Liz/Jen), Various Listeners

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Episode Overview

This emotionally impactful episode centers around Ashley, a 30-year-old woman who recently discovered that the man who raised her is not her biological father. Ashley shares her complicated family story, her conflicting emotions over this revelation, and her uncertainty about how to move forward. The hosts and several callers offer their insights, drawing from personal experience and emphasizing that love and family transcend biology. The conversation delves into themes of family secrets, the meaning of fatherhood, medical history concerns, and the path to personal closure.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Ashley’s Story: Discovering the Secret

• Ashley’s Family Background

  • Ashley is 30 years old and has two sisters—one full sibling, one half-sibling.
  • Her mother has been married five times, resulting in a blended family with multiple stepdads.
  • Ashley has always looked physically different from her family: she is very pale with blue eyes, while her father is Hispanic ([02:11]).

• How Ashley Found Out

  • The secret came out unintentionally due to her mother’s history of sharing information during moments of anger and conflict.
  • Ashley’s younger sister told her after learning from a stepfather and confirming with their grandmother ([03:09]).
  • Their mother initially denied but eventually admitted to the truth ([03:23], [03:45]).
  • Ashley feels trapped, torn between confronting her mother and protecting her sister from backlash ([04:21]).

• Health and Identity Concerns

  • Ashley has had significant health issues—ten surgeries in three years ([05:52]).
  • She wonders if knowing her biological father could provide important medical information ([05:53]).

• Struggle with Next Steps

  • Ashley grapples with whether to reach out to her biological father, fearing either rejection or a complicated relationship that would force her to hurt her dad ([08:46], [08:46]-[09:38]).
  • The primary person Ashley is worried about hurting is the dad who raised her, who she insists is her “real dad” regardless of biology ([13:37]).

Host and Co-host Perspectives

• On the "Real Dad" Terminology
  • Hosts emphasize that Ashley’s real dad is the man who raised her, not just the biological father:

    "Her real dad is the one that has been there for her through her years and has loved her through this." — Co-host ([05:38])

• Understanding Mom's Motivation
  • The hosts speculate on why Ashley's mother hid the truth, particularly as she had several husbands and blended children ([03:47]).
  • “Like, I don't understand why the secret in the first place?” — Co-host ([03:47])
• Advice
  • They suggest Ashley should have an open conversation with her mother, despite family tensions and her sister’s fears ([08:35]).
  • “This is your life and your journey, and you need to know this... Quit protecting everybody.” — Host ([11:08]-[11:12])

Listener and Caller Insights

• Caller: Sherry, Similar Experience
  • Shares that self-identity issues from family secrets are common. She encourages Ashley, offering hope that things do get easier over time ([07:10]-[07:55]):

    "You are who you are. It does not matter who you came from. You will get past it. It might take you a little while." — Sherry ([07:13])

• Caller: Nick, Perspective from a Father Figure
  • Nick is raising a child he knows isn't biologically his and affirms that love, not genetics, make a parent. He stresses that the father has a right to know and that the relationship won’t change ([09:53]-[10:23]):

    "I've been aware that she's not my child all along… it's not gonna change the way [her dad] cares about her." — Nick ([10:18])

• Caller: Liz/Jen, Recent Discovery of Paternity
  • Shares how learning her biological father was different caused a rift with her mother. She warns Ashley to be ready for potential fallout if she confronts her mom ([11:22]-[12:05]):

    "When I confronted my mother, it did not go well, and we actually haven't talked in about two years." — Liz/Jen ([12:02])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I really feel like I'm starring in a really bad Lifetime movie being produced by Jerry Springer."
  — Ashley ([06:28])

• "Whoever gives you love and support is your family, you know?”
  — Co-host ([10:35])

• "I'm confused because, you know, I want to know who this other man is. I want to know if I have siblings. I want to know all of that. But then I know that if I pursue that, that I have to tell my dad definitely. You know, it's just. It's going to hurt him."
  — Ashley ([13:37])

• "It truly does get easier. But I understand looking in a mirror and thinking, where did the color of my eyes come from? Why is my skin tone so different from everybody else's?"
  — Sherry ([07:55])

• “This is your life and your journey… I don't care who gets mad, because this involves you. Quit protecting everybody.”
  — Host ([11:08]-[11:12])

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Key Timestamps

• [01:00] — Introduction of Ashley's voice disguiser and premise.
• [01:27] — Ashley recounts first learning about her biological father.
• [02:11] — Discussion of family structure and Ashley’s unusual appearance.
• [03:09] — How the secret was revealed through the family.
• [04:21] — Ashley’s hesitance to confront her mother or involve her father.
• [05:52] — Health concerns and the practical implications of knowing her biological father.
• [06:28] — Ashley’s Lifetime/Jerry Springer comparison.
• [07:06] — Caller Sherry shares her similar story.
• [08:19] — Ashley reveals she knows her biological father’s name and location.
• [08:35]-[09:38] — Advice from hosts and Ashley’s conflict about what to do next.
• [09:53] — Caller Nick speaks as a non-biological dad.
• [11:22] — Caller Liz/Jen warns of damaging confrontation with her own mom.
• [13:37] — Ashley shares her main worry: hurting the dad who raised her.

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Episode Tone

The conversation is warm, empathetic, and supportive, with hosts balancing humor and gravity as they guide Ashley and participating listeners through a deeply personal topic. The tone is authentic and engaging, creating a feeling of community around a difficult subject.

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For listeners interested in the complexities of family, identity, and the meaning of parenthood, this episode of The Bert Show offers comfort, real-life advice, and a sense of not being alone in navigating unexpected revelations.

Transcript

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Ashley]

One crunchy bite of a Hershey's cookies and cream bar, and I'm taken right back to college Move in day. I was a little overwhelmed by the newness of it all. Boxes were everywhere. I needed a break from unpacking. But just as I was able to take a breath and open my Hershey's cookies and cream bar, my new roommate Rachel walked in. I offered her a piece, but she said no. Then after a beat, she said, actually, those are my favorite ones.

We left.

The ice was broken, and we've been friends ever since.

[Co-host or Guest]

Hershey's.

It's your happy place.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

It's the Birch show. Natalie. We gotta make sure the voice disguiser is set for Ashley. And set real good because Set real good. Set real good. Set real set, real strong. Because she doesn't think that her dad is her birth dad or knows her dad's on it.

[Ashley]

Wow.

[Co-host or Guest]

And he doesn't realize it either.

[Caller (Nick)]

Mm.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Mm. Hey, Ashley. Welcome to the bird show.

[Ashley]

Hi.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

How are you?

[Ashley]

I'm good.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

When did you find out this information and how?

[Ashley]

I found out on Wednesday, actually, this past Wednesday. And it's a really long story, but my mother is not the sanest person, but apparently she let it slip to my younger sister, and she happened to be angry with my mother and told me on Wednesday.

[Co-host or Guest]

Okay, Start over a little bit.

[Caller (Nick)]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

And that's not my dad.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. So how old are you?

[Ashley]

I'm 30.

[Co-host or Guest]

You're 30 years old and you have a sister?

[Ashley]

I have two sisters. I have an older sister who me and her have the same dad, same mom. My younger sister, we have same mom, different dad.

[Co-host or Guest]

Okay.

[Ashley]

And it was. I've had. My mother's been married like, five times, so I have multiple stepdads and

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

all

[Ashley]

that sort, which she's told some of my stepdads, you know, that my dad is not my dad as well. And, I mean, it's always been an ongoing joke. My sisters have always said that I'm the milkman's baby because I don't look like anybody in my family, and my dad is Hispanic, and I am the palest person that you will ever see. And I have blue Eyes. Nobody in my family has blue eyes. I'm just completely different.

[Co-host or Guest]

And so, you know, but my brother. Brother and sister. I was the only blonde in my family. And so I, you know, my brother and sister said, you know, wouldn't give me crap because I look different, and. And it wasn't true.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

How did it come up between your mom.

[Co-host or Guest]

That, as far as I know.

[Ashley]

Wait a second.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

How did it come up between your sister and your mom?

[Ashley]

Actually, it was one of my stepfather who told my sister. He's the one who raised my younger sister. Her dad wasn't in the picture, and so he raised my sister, and he let it out one day, and she questioned him about it, and then she went to my grandmother, and my grandmother confirmed it, and then she went to my mother, and first my mother denied it, and then she came back and said that it was true, that she didn't want me to know and that she would take it to her deathbed, that I would never find out. And it just so happened that my sister's upset with my mom about something, so she told me. Wow.

[Co-host or Guest]

Okay, wait. Let me just get this straight. Your mom's had five different husbands, but all of a sudden she's worried about you, thinking that you had a different dad? Like, I don't understand why the secret in the first place? If she's had five different husbands and your younger sister's from a different father, why keep the big secret going?

[Ashley]

I guess at the time, she was still trying to stay with my father, which, regardless of anything, he's my dad and will always be my dad.

[Co-host or Guest]

Right, Right. But I'm sorry,

[Ashley]

She, I guess, was trying to stay with him and didn't want. I don't know. And she told my sister that she went to this guy, is supposedly my biological father and told him. He said that he didn't want to have anything to do with her or me, which. My mother wouldn't know the truth if it were written out in front of her. And all she had to do was read it. So she. I mean, my sister doesn't. I haven't been able to confront my mother with it because my sister is worried about my mother getting mad at her and doesn't want to be thrown underneath the bus. So it sounded like I'm stuck and don't know what to do. You know, I don't want to tell my dad because, you know, I know he's not gonna. It's not going to change his love for me, but still, I don't know.

[Co-host or Guest]

How old is Your little sister, she's 25. Who caused all this drama?

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Melissa rolling her eyes.

[Co-host or Guest]

She found out from a stepdad.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Now, I know, but I'm not saying

[Co-host or Guest]

that in anger, she. She didn't have to tell.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

She didn't have to tell. But doesn't.

[Co-host or Guest]

It's so hard.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Yeah. Ashley, I think our caller deserves to know the truth about her real dad. It's not the younger sister's, and I'm

[Co-host or Guest]

uncomfortable with the term real dad. Her real dad is the guy that birthday. Her biological father. Because her real dad is the one that has been there for her through her years and has loved her through this.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Do you wish you had never found out, Ashley?

[Ashley]

I actually do, because, I mean, I'm, like, torn. I'm in a place right now, you know, I have a daughter, and I'm in a place right now where, you know, I've had a lot of medical problems. I've had 10 surgeries in the past three years. And I wonder, you know, and my mother has known all this, you know, is it something having to do with that side of the family? You know, I have no idea. And I don't know why he would keep this.

[Co-host or Guest]

Well, she doesn't know because he didn't want to have anything to. I mean, it's not as if she could get the information because it sounds like your biological father didn't want to be involved at all.

[Ashley]

Well, see, that's the thing, though, is, like I said, my mother wouldn't know the truth if it was written on piece of paper. I don't know how much truth there is to that. I think that's her trying to shed good light on her. That the reason she did it is because he didn't want to have anything to do with me. I. I really feel like I'm starring in a really bad Lifetime movie being produced by Jerry Springer.

[Co-host or Guest]

There is no bad Lifetime movie. Are you silly?

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

And I don't think it would be Jerry Springer. I think it'd be Maury Povich. She's the one who does all the dad things. Believe it or not, you are not the only Bird show listener going through something like this. Hey, Sherry. Welcome to the show.

[Ashley]

Hi. Hey.

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

How is everyone this morning?

[Co-host or Guest]

Good.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

We're good. Better than Ashley.

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

Ashley, don't feel bad, honey. You are not the only one in this world who has had difficulty determining who they are because of a lack of knowledge. Just know you are who you are. It does not matter who you came from. You will get past it. It might take you a little While it would help, I think, if you could actually, you know, meet. At least meet your real father, Turns out my dad was. He was a wonderful, wonderful man. And I did not know him. I did not know of him until I was, I don't know, 23, 24. I'm 46 now.

[Co-host or Guest]

Wow.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Wow.

[Ashley]

Gets easier.

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

It truly does get easier. But I understand looking in a mirror and thinking, where did the color of my eyes come from? Why is my skin. Skin tone so different from everybody else's? I was my mother's oldest, my father's youngest, and I was raised the littlest six. That's confusing as I'll get out.

[Ashley]

Well, Ashley, do you think your mom

[Co-host or Guest]

knows who your biological dad is?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I have his name.

[Co-host or Guest]

Oh, you do?

[Ashley]

And I know where he lives, which is, you know, I'm not from Georgia. I grew up in New York, but he lives. That's where my dad still lives. And this man lives about 30 minutes from where I grew up, where my dad lives right now.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Wow.

[Co-host or Guest]

So I really do think that you need to say something to your mom. I mean, despite your sister being mad at you and that kind of thing. I think you gotta put it out in the open.

[Ashley]

Well, one of my stepdads did tell me that he didn't care if I told her. He was the one that told me because he said, what is she gonna do? I'm already divorced from her, so it's not like it can make my life any worse. I mean, I can do it without calling my sister out, but, I mean, I'm just. I'm confused to a point where I don't know. Number one, I still don't know how to process everything. And number two, I don't know if I want to contact this man to find out if he knew about me, because he could go two ways. He didn't. And then he wants to be a part of my life, and then I have to tell my dad. That way he doesn't find out in some messed up way. Or the second scenario is that it was true and that he didn't want to have anything to do with me. And then I have to kind of work in that rejection as well. So I don't know.

[Co-host or Guest]

But the thing is, is you're already in too far. That would have been fine if you never knew. You know what I mean? But now I feel like you've got so much information, you got to do something with it.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Here's a perspective from the dad's point of view. Hey, Nick. Welcome to the show.

[Caller (Nick)]

Hey, good morning, guys. And it's a great show, but I have it. I have a child who is not biologically mine. And I've raised her basically since she's been born, and she lives with me. I'm currently divorced, and I've been aware that she's not my child all along. I treated her as my own. I have other children who are biologically mine. And I think her dad, whether he is or he is not her dad,

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

he has the right to know, and

[Caller (Nick)]

it's not gonna change the way he cares about her, you know, in any perspective.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

And I feel that that is your child, you know, I.

[Caller (Nick)]

My daughter, yes. She is darker skin color than the rest of us.

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

She looks different, but she's my daughter.

[Caller (Nick)]

I don't care what people say when they walk down the street.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, my.

My feeling about that is, yeah. I mean, whoever gives you love and support is your family, you know, So I, you know, but I understand the importance of. I mean, I have a friend who is one of my good friends that I grew up with, was adopted. The only reason he cared at all, like you mentioned earlier in the call, is maybe for, you know, medical reasons, but he's, you know, as far as he was concerned. And yeah, his family was his adopted family. That was his family. You know what I mean? But I think that you're trying to protect your sister, you're trying to protect the stepdad, you're trying to protect your mom. This is your life and your journey, and you need to know this. And I agree with Jen that you need to speak up. I don't care who gets mad, because this involves you. Quit protecting everybody.

Exactly.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Hey, we have another call we have to take on the voice disguiser. Liz, you're talking to Ashley.

[Ashley]

Hey, guys. How are you this morning?

[Caller (Liz or Jen)]

Good.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

How are you?

[Ashley]

Fine. Hey, Ashley, I'm 38, and two years ago, I just found out that the man that I grew up believing my biological father, was not. And it was during a phone call after probably a 15 year search that I made to him. And, you know, he's just like, hey, something I got to tell you. I'm not your dad. So I completely understand and empathize with your feelings on wanting to know who you are because I was always so different from my other family members. Just be wary and kind of think about the relationship that you have with your mother. Only because when I confronted my mother, it did not go well. And we actually haven't talked in about two years.

[Co-host or Guest]

Oh, no.

[Ashley]

Be prepared for that adverse reaction. Because it was such defense mechanism, I think, for my mother because I had found out this secret that had been harbored for all these years. So just take that into consideration when you're going through all these thoughts and questions in your mind.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Thanks for the call.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Co-host or Guest]

Wow, that's heavy.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Do you have the calls or the thoughts that we've shared with you changed the direction? Did you have a direction before you called us or were you completely.

[Ashley]

I'm completely, I guess, lost in that. You know, I'm not worried about my mother getting mad at me at this point because, you know, it's. She would not cut ties with me because she always has to be in the middle of everything, and our relationship is not good anyway. You know, I've always been closer to my dad, and the only person out of this whole thing that I'm worried about hurting is him. Because I. I'm sure that I'm going to be the one that has to tell him. And I just don't want to hurt my dad. But I. I feel I. I mean, I'm confused because, you know, I want to know who this other man is. I want to know if I have siblings. I want to know all of that. But then I know that if I pursue that, that I have to tell my dad definitely. You know, it's just. It's gonna. It's gonna hurt him. And, I mean, it's not gonna change anything. I mean, he's raised me for 30 years, and he's my dad, and he's been there for everything, and I know that that's not gonna change everything. He might get really mad at my mom, and that would be a lot.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

It seems like everybody takes a turn getting mad at your mom, so I wouldn't worry about that. We definitely keep Tracy posted as to what you do and how it goes.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Okay. Good luck. And I'm sure we'll all get emails about this or, you know, people who couldn't get through or people who wanted to wait till they got to work to put their thoughts down. We'll forward those to you and see. Maybe. Maybe they'll help.

[Ashley]

Okay. Thank you very much.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Just be warned, we're notoriously 5050 on everything we do, so you'll be just as confused after you read those emails, but we'll try to help.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Co-host or Guest]

Cool.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Thanks for sharing the story with us, Ashley.

[Ashley]

No problem.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Take care. Have a great day.

[Ashley]

Thank you. Bye. Bye.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Here Bird show.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host (possibly Natalie)]

Refreshers contain caffeine.