Vault: She gets feedback about her baby's sleeping habits

Summary

The Bert Show: "Vault: She gets feedback about her baby's sleeping habits"

Date: June 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the spirited and candid debate around infant sleep arrangements, spotlighting Producer Tracy’s journey with her 8-month-old daughter, Ella. From co-sleeping concerns to outside feedback and parenting philosophies, the episode unfolds with warmth, humor, and honesty as Tracy, her partner Scott, and callers discuss what’s “right” for families navigating baby sleep—and each other’s opinions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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Tracy’s Baby Sleep Saga: Background and Present Situation

• Tracy recounts months of indecision and stress about where her baby, Ella, should sleep.

  • Original plan: Ella to sleep in her own room/crib, but she struggled to sleep well there.
  • Attempted solutions: Compromising with Ella in the living room with Scott; consideration of co-sleeping in bed (out of instinctual desire to keep her close, but put off by safety risks).
  • Final compromise: Moved Ella’s crib into Tracy and Scott’s room, right next to the bed.

    “So we finally made the decision to move the crib back into our room, and now the crib is in our room, pushed right up next to me.” – Tracy (00:36)

• Tracy shares that this setup works much better for both her and Ella:

  • Ella sleeps better and Tracy feels better anchored with her nearby.
  • “She just seems to sleep so much better, and so do I. I don’t know if there was something instinctually in me that was telling me, you need to be close to your baby.” – Tracy (01:44)

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The Philosophical Divide: Co-Sleeping vs. Self-Soothing

• Host playfully teases Tracy about fostering dependence:

  • “Is it going to be weird to you, do you think, on prom night when she comes home with her date and she’s got a bed set up right next to you?” – Host (02:17)

• Tracy defends her approach:

  • Acknowledges criticism for not allowing Ella to “self-soothe” but trusts her gut feeling.
  • “I know a lot of people say it’s self-soothing and yeah, maybe I need to let her do that, but to me, it’s just... I can’t do it.” – Tracy (02:40)

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Caller Feedback: Conflicting Advice and Shared Experiences

• Krista recommends ‘Baby Wise’:

  • Encourages a routine for fostering independent sleep and warns about future challenges.

    “It will feel even better knowing that she’s self-soothing... If you don’t start it now, when she gets to be two, oh, there’s going to be hell.” – Krista (03:15)

  • Host and Tracy both acknowledge the book, but say it didn’t work for every family.

• Emails from listeners:

  • Mixed feedback—some critical, but “hundreds” supporting Tracy’s decision to trust her instincts and flex based on Ella’s needs.
  • Tracy plans to make changes once Ella is sleeping better/eating better.

• Donna shares her cautionary tale:

  • Kept her daughter in the room for years; claims it “destroyed [her] marriage.”
  • “You don’t have that bond together, your husband in your bed together. You have your child between you your whole life.” – Donna (05:35)
  • Tracy says Scott is supportive: “He was encouraging me to do it... He’s happy with it also.” (05:49)

• Tammy calls in with reassurance:

  • Her own children co-slept but turned out independent.
  • "My four year old is fiercely independent. My six year old... she's in her room." – Tammy (06:51)
  • Urges following what feels right; cautions that pushing independence at eight months is unrealistic.

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The Parenting Values Debate

• Host and Tracy discuss whether coddling hinders self-reliance:

  • Host questions if Tracy allows any struggle or always swoops in.
  • Tracy clarifies: She lets Ella struggle with things like crawling, but “if she’s looking for mommy... I don’t feel like at 8 months old, I should tell her, no, you can’t have me.” – Tracy (08:14)

• Humorous Interlude:

  • Conversation shifts to awkward questions about parental intimacy with a baby in the room, yielding laughs and comic relief.

    “Did I just say that? Do it in the kitchen.” – Tracy (06:42)
    “Oh, my gosh, we're on the radio.” – Host (06:45)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 00:44 | Tracy | “She just seems to sleep so much better, and so do I. I don't know if there was something instinctually in me...” | | 02:17 | Host | “Is it going to be weird to you...when she comes home with her date and she's got a bed set up right next to you?” | | 03:15 | Krista (Caller) | “You say it feels good that she's there with you, but it will feel even better knowing that she's self-soothing...” | | 05:35 | Donna (Caller) | “It destroyed my marriage, and it took my daughter till she was about 11 to get her out of my room.” | | 06:51 | Tammy (Caller) | “My four year old is fiercely independent. My six year old... she's in her room. I think it's what feels right for you, number one.” | | 08:14 | Tracy | “I know she needs to struggle, but if she's looking for mommy... I don't feel like at 8 months old, I should tell her, no, you can't have me.” | | 06:42 | Tracy | “Did I just say that? Do it in the kitchen.” | | 08:44 | Host | “Would you have room in that room for me and my family?” [Everyone laughs] | | 08:51 | Host | “…as a parent, you got to follow your own instincts. Because if you don’t and your child ends up a certain way... you’re going to kick yourself in the arm.” |

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Core Takeaway

The episode ultimately underscores that there is no “one size fits all” to parenting—especially when it comes to sleep. The consensus from Tracy, the hosts, and most callers:

• Trust your parental instincts. Books, routines, and outside opinions can help, but ultimately, each family and child is unique.
• Ignore the judgment—do what makes sense for your sanity and your child’s well-being.

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Transcript

[A]

It's the vert show. So Tracy and Scott here, Producer Tracy and Scott here have struggled and struggled and struggled with some decisions going on with. How old is Ellen El?

[B]

She'll be eight months in a couple days.

[A]

Eight months. Do we bring her in the room with us at night? Does she have her own room outside? Do we keep her in a bed with us? Do we keep her on the side of the bed? And something else. And the last time I think we checked in with you, was she in her own room?

[B]

She was in her own room, but she wasn't sleeping very well in her own room. So it was just a constant struggle back and forth. You know, I was up all night. Scott was up all night. And because she wasn't sleeping well in her own room, we kind of compromised. And she was sleeping in the living room, like in a baby seat with Scott, because she seemed to sleep well there. But I still struggled with the fact that I wanted her close to me. So I was considering co sleeping, which if you don't know, because if you're not a parent, co sleeping is actually sharing your bed with your child. And then at some point, once they get older, you know, you move them into their own room or their own crib. So like I said last time, I really. I felt like that was right for our family. You know, I said, I don't think it's right for every family. I don't think that you're a bad parent if you don't do it. Because obviously that was not my first choice. My first choice was to have her in her own crib, but that wasn't working for us. So I was considering letting her sleep in my bed. The only reason I hadn't done it is for safety reasons. You know, I knew that there was the chance you could roll over on her. You know, there's, you know, she could fall off the bed. Like, there's just so many different reasons why. I was a little nervous, too. So, you know, I put it off and put it off and nothing was getting any better. So we finally made the decision to move the crib back into our room, and now the crib is in our room, pushed right up next to me.

[A]

How's that been working out so far?

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah? In what way?

[B]

She's still waking up sometimes through the night, not as often, but she just seems to sleep so much better, and so do I. I don't know if there was something instinctually in me that was telling me, you need to be close to your baby. I mean, you guys know, like, I don't like being away from her. So the fact that she was all the way, you know, in another room by herself, like, just made me really uncomfortable. So just the fact that I know she's right there and she just kind of, like, wiggles herself, like, right up to the side of the bed, like, as close as possible to me, and I just do it, too. Like, we both wake up in the middle of the night and we're both right there.

[A]

Is it going to be weird to you, do you think, on prom night when she comes home with her date and she's got a bed set up right next to you? Also because she's not capable of sleeping

[B]

in her own bed, prom day be

[A]

like, all right, mom and daughter.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

That would be my biggest concern right there, is that you're not allowing her to sort of fight through her own fears, even as a little baby, and handle things herself. You're so coddling with her.

[B]

I know. And I just can't. I can't bring myself to. You know, I mean, I know a lot of people say it's self soothing and yeah, maybe I need to let her do that, but to me, it's just. I don't know, I can't do it. And something in me feels like it's not the right thing to do for her. I'm not saying it's not the right thing to do for every other baby, but I just can't bring myself to do it. And it makes me feel better to have her there. It makes her feel better to have her there. She's waking up in the middle of the night, so I don't have. I don't have to get out of bed. Like, she's right there. You know, I can. I can do whatever I need to do without having to get out of bed in the middle of the night.

[A]

Hey, Krista. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[C]

Hey. Love you guys. Thank you, Lacey. You're my baby buddy. But, honey, you have to become a confident mom. Ella is coming into your world. You're not coming to her world. There is a book called baby wise by Dr. Izzo. It was so informative for me and my husband. Both of us read it. When we were going, we were having two babies. And to this day, you have to get them on a great routine. You say it feels good that she's there with you, but it will feel even better knowing that she's self soothing, that she can sleep through the night and not have to be so calm. Because really, if you don't start it now, when she gets to be two, oh, there's going to be hell. Move.

[A]

We use that Baby Wise book also with both of our kids, and it worked really, really great. There are some parents that just absolutely have tried to use that book and they can't get their child on that routine, but it worked wonderfully for us.

[B]

And I've read Baby Wise because Stacy gave it to. I mean, I've read every single book. And I agree, like, there's. It works great for some parents. I wanted to do it. It's just not working for us. And after I talked about this the last time, you know, yes, I got emails from people saying that I was doing the wrong thing, but I got hundreds of emails from people saying, you have to do what is right for your baby. I did the same thing. I did it against, you know, I went against what everybody else was telling me. I did it, and it worked great for our family. So is there a cutoff age where she's gonna go back into her own room, or are you just gonna keep her there until she's like 15, 16, you think? No, I mean, I don't want to keep her in there forever, but, I mean, I don't know what the cutoff age is. Maybe it's. Maybe it's only going to be a couple months. Maybe it's going to be, you know, once she does start sleeping through the night. Now, let me also say I don't think she's sleeping through the night because she's not eating well during the day. So she is waking up in the middle of the night and she's eating quite a bit. So I think that has a lot to do with it. Also, once she's eating better, maybe she'll sleep through the night. And maybe at that point I can put her in her own room.

[A]

Here is Donna. Good morning. You are on Q100.

[C]

Hi, Bert. My name's Donna, and I just want to tell Tracy that I think she's making a big mistake by keeping the baby in her room. I did that, and it destroyed my marriage. It destroyed my marriage, and it took my daughter till she was about 11 to get her out of my room.

[A]

So you say it destroyed your marriage. In what way?

[C]

It separate. You know, you don't have that bond together, your husband in your bed together. You have your baby between you and her child between you, your whole life. And, you know, I just don't think that's a good decision. I really want her to think about that.

[B]

I would agree. I mean, I would agree with you in the sense that I've gotten so many emails from women also saying that my husband's not happy with it, but it was the best thing for me and the baby. Scott likes it. He was the one that was encouraging me to do it. The entire time he was telling me, if your gut's telling you that she needs to be in the room with, you know, with you or with us, then that's what you should do. And he's happy with it also. I mean, she's not in the bed with us. She's not taking up his space. She's in a crib right next to me. And, you know, I mean, before, he was sleeping in the living room with her. So how is that helping our marriage?

[A]

Does she take her naps and stuff in there also?

[B]

Well, Cause that's her. Her crib is in there. So.

[A]

So when are you and Scott, where do you guys get your alone time?

[B]

I mean, it's one house and there's

[A]

a lot of different rooms and stuff.

[B]

There's other rooms.

[A]

Tammy, Good morning.

[B]

Too much information.

[A]

It was a question I asked and didn't really want to know the answer to as it was coming out of my mouth.

[B]

Did I just say that? Do it in the kitchen.

[A]

Oh, my gosh, we're on the radio.

[B]

I can't answer that.

[A]

Too much information. Hey, Tammy, what's going on?

[C]

Nothing much. Good morning. Okay. I want to say people are going to have so many opinions. I kept my kids in my bed with me in the crib and the bassinet with me. And my four year old is fiercely independent. My six year old, I mean, she's like, once in a while, yeah, she'll come back if she's had a bad night. She knows that she can come, you know, sleep with me, but she's in her room. I think it's what feels right for you, number one. And number two, it's not about, you know, children do want to know when they're that little that their mommy's there. It's a very scary thing to try to wean your child and make them independent at eight months is unrealistic.

[B]

And that's my opinion, too. And everybody keeps the people that are against it or saying like, oh, you know, she's gonna be so clingy and she's not gonna be able to take care of herself and she's always gonna need you. But the funny thing is, is all the emails that I'm Getting from people doing this are saying their child is so much more independent than other children because they know that their needs are gonna be met. They know that mommy's always gonna be there. At eight months old, they. I don't feel like she should learn that she needs to take care of herself.

[A]

See, for me, it would be more of a symptom, like if. If you're coddling her that much in. At nighttime when she's fussy. And my guess is that you're pretty consistent in your parenting that anytime she gets a little fussy with any little thing, you're not allowing her to try to take care of herself first. And you and Scott are right there for her, saying, we're gonna take care of it for you.

[B]

Yeah. And maybe you're right. I mean, I'm certainly trying, you know, I'm certainly trying to make sure that, you know, when she struggles with crawling, I'm not like, oh, here, let me help you. You know, like, I know she needs to do stuff on her on her own. I know she needs to struggle, but if she's looking for mommy and she wants her mommy or she wants her daddy, like, I don't feel like at 8 months old, I should tell her, no, you can't have me.

[A]

I'm still looking for my mommy daddy, too.

[B]

Here, let me call her. See? Come here, bird.

[A]

Now that I think about it, you want to sleep in our too?

[B]

Come on, mom.

[A]

Would you have room in that room for me and my family?

[C]

Also sad.

[A]

You know, I told Tracy this off the air, that you know what the truth is. As a parent, you got to follow your own instincts. Because if you don't and your child ends up a certain way in the the long run, you are going to kick yourself in the arm. Yeah.

[B]

20 years. Damn you, Bert.

[A]

Dear Berta,