Vault: She gets frustrated shopping for clothes

Summary

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The Bert Show — Vault: She Gets Frustrated Shopping for Clothes

Date: August 5, 2026
Hosts Featured: Female Host (likely Kristin), Bert, Co-hosts

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a candid conversation about the struggles and frustrations around shopping for clothes, especially when body types don’t match mainstream sizing. The primary speaker, a female host, shares her personal insecurities and difficulties in department store dressing rooms, offering a raw and honest account that many listeners can relate to. The hosts also discuss alternatives like tailoring and personal shoppers, and the emotional impact of never quite fitting into standard clothes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Shopping for Stacy’s All-White Party [00:16]

• The host recounts needing to buy white pants for a themed party, sparking dread over clothes shopping.

Frustration and Insecurity in Clothing Stores [00:30–01:39]

• The host expresses a strong dislike for clothes shopping, distinguishing it from her enjoyment of buying shoes or electronics.
• Main reason: “It's because it's an insecure feeling in the dressing room… it's not the body, it's the clothes.” [00:37]
• She details how her body type—lacking curves—makes it nearly impossible to find well-fitting clothes without alterations:

  "Most everything does not fit me. So I have to kind of alter... I am the perfect can for a tailor because I just don't have the body type for the clothes that are in most department stores." [01:15]

• Emphasizes that the issue isn’t about weight, but the fit for her shape:

  "It's not a weight issue for me. It's the way my body is designed because I am not a woman that has curves." [00:47]

Coping Strategies and Differences in Shopping Habits [01:51–02:27]

• The host prefers to shop by buying, taking home, and returning clothes rather than trying them on in-store:

  "If I take it home and try them on I don't get as frustrated as when I'm in in store for some reason." [02:01]

• Contrasts her experience with her girlfriend, Katie, who enjoys shopping as a fun activity.
• Implements a “two store minimum” when shopping with Katie, due to reaching frustration quickly. [02:15]

The Limits of Personal Shoppers and Tailoring [02:50–03:27]

• Co-hosts suggest a personal shopper might help, though it feels “extravagant.”
• The host recalls when Katie’s mom attempted this, taking measurements and buying clothes—to no avail.
• Emotional toll discussed:

  “She brought home a bunch of clothes and not one of them... she had to take them all back because it wasn’t for one portion of my body, you know. And it... it doesn’t matter. As a woman, it doesn’t matter. It’s not a weight. There’s always something that makes you feel self-conscious.” [03:27]

Why She Avoids Fashion and Her Shopping Preferences [04:06–04:14]

• The host is teased for being “the least fashionista on the show,” directly due to these frustrations.
• Prefers shopping for things that have standardized sizing (shoes, rings, electronics):

  “I know that they make rings my ring size, they make shoes my foot size... but when it comes to clothes, just stay away from. Do it.” [04:14]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the emotional impact:

  “It's always insecure.” [01:39 – Female Host]

• On body type versus clothing design:

  “I'm built more like a boy and so girls' clothes do not fit women who don't have hips.” [03:27 – Female Host]

• On at-home try-ons:

  “If I take it home and try them on I don't get as frustrated as when I'm in in store for some reason.” [02:01 – Female Host]

• On the futility of personal shopping:

  “That’s more depressing right there. When they come home and say no, there’s not one piece of clothing and this fits your body.” [03:22 – Co-host 1]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:16: Party prompts clothes shopping challenge
• 00:30–01:39: Insecurity and frustration detailed
• 01:51: At-home try-on vs. in-store shopping
• 02:15: “Two store minimum” rule; relationship dynamic
• 02:50: Suggestion of personal shopper and tailoring
• 03:27: Personal shopping failure and self-consciousness
• 04:06: The host’s aversion to fashion and shopping preferences

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Takeaways

• The episode offers a raw, relatable look into the emotional realities behind clothes shopping for many women, especially those whose bodies don’t fit mainstream molds.
• The panel’s supportive but lighthearted banter keeps the tone open and humorous, despite the topic’s seriousness.
• The host’s vulnerability invites listeners to feel less alone in their own frustrations with fashion and body image.

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Transcript

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[Female Host]

You know, we were talking about Stacy's party over the weekend, and she had a party that was an all white party, you know, all white outfits. And so I had not had. I didn't have white pants in my closet. So I had to go clothes shopping last week for the party.

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And.

[Female Host]

And one of the things I realized, and Bert and I talked about this off air is I was telling him about that. Like, we were walking out after the show one day and I was on my way to go clothes shopping and I was talking about how much I dreaded because I am the woman that cannot stand to clothes shop. I don't mind shopping for anything else. If it's electronics, if it's jewelry, if it's shoes, I don't care. But when it comes to clothes shopping, I cannot stand it. And it's because it's an insecure feeling in the dressing room. Because I think, at least for me, and I've had a listener say this to me before, it's not the body, it's the clothes. If to make you feel uncomfortable because it's not a weight issue for me. It's a. It's the way my body is designed because I am not a woman that has curves. I'm not a woman that has a butt. I'm not a woman that has boobs. And so most everything does not fit me. So I have to kind of alter my, you know, like, I have to get, let's say, pant size that are a little smaller to not look like it's like, you know, there's five pounds of material in my butt because I don't have a butt to fill it up. And the same with my shirts. It's hard for me to. So it's just frustrating for me to go clothes shopping every time because I am the perfect can for a tailor because I just don't have the body type for the clothes that are in most department stores.

[Co-host 1]

Huh.

[Female Host]

It's frustrating, and it just makes me feel. And it's always insecure.

[Co-host 2]

Expect it to be frustrating when you go.

[Female Host]

And I dread it. And every time it is that way. So, yeah, I'm gonna have to save up somebody to get a tailor.

[Co-host 2]

You need to be like Judy Jetson.

[Co-host 1]

I know you and are the only two people that I know that will go in, buy your clothes, take them home, try them on and then return them.

[Female Host]

For some reason if I take it home and try them on I don't get as frustrated as when I'm in in store for some reason. I don't know, I don't know why. But yeah, Katie and I, we, Katie and I when we go clothes shopping together it is a very stunted trip because Katie, my girlfriend Katie loves to go, loves to go clothes shopping. Her and her mother, big fashion people and they love to go clothes shopping and that's like an afternoon of fun for them. For me we have a two store minimum. So Katie and I by the, by the time I get past the second store I'm going to get really, really frustrated and not have fun anymore because I wouldn't have found anything I wanted because it ends up that when I we something there it's either a little big for it what just doesn't fit right and it always looks dumpy because I'm. If I get it too small it's going to look odd and if I get it a little bigger then it, it. I don't know, it's just, it's hard to explain. But I just.

[Co-host 2]

You should try even though it sounds extravagant but because it's a consistent problem for you. Like you should try a personal shopper, somebody that would come to your house, take all your measurements and go get things for you because they were so well versed in like brands and labels and what labels work for this and that and the other thing. It sounds pretentious but how much I don't know.

[Female Host]

Katie's mom tried that one time like Katie's mom was so sweet to me and said look, I'll do this for you and did take my measurements, went out and there and couldn't find anything that fit. I mean really without having to be altered.

[Co-host 1]

That's more depressing right there. When they come home and said no, there's not one piece of clothing and this fits your body.

[Female Host]

She brought home a bunch of clothes and not one of them. She had to take them all back because it 11 portion of my body, you know and it, like I said it doesn't matter. As a woman, it doesn't matter. It's not a weight. There's always something that makes you feel self conscious and for me it's the, it's. Yeah, I'm just built, I'm built more like a boy and so girls clothes do not fit Women who don't have hips. And so. Yeah. And it's just. It's just. Yeah. I need a tailor more so somebody to actually custom make my clothes for them to fit. And I've never saved up the money to do that, you know, so. Yeah. So that's the reason I feel more comfortable at home trying on clothes than,

[Co-host 1]

you know, because that to me is a big old hassle. Having to go back time and time again.

[Female Host]

Right. What a pain in the butt.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

And the thing is, so. And everybody makes fun of me because I'm the least fashionista on the show because I'm. And. And that's the reason why is because

[Co-host 1]

so painful to go and get clothes.

[Female Host]

Not a fun process where I know that they make rings my ring size, they make shoes my. My foot size. So I know I can go out and go and have plenty of shopping to do on those things. And electronics, you don't. That's not a certain size. But when it comes to clothes, just stay away from. Do it.

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