Vault: She got a job behind her husband's back Part 3

Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: She Got a Job Behind Her Husband's Back Part 3” (July 30, 2026)
Summary by Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

In this ongoing listener drama series, the Bert Show hosts reconnect with Darlene, a woman who secretly tried to start a job behind her husband’s back, confronting her internal struggle between being a stay-at-home mom and pursuing work outside the home. As Darlene shares the emotional aftermath of her attempt, the hosts and listeners offer empathetic insights, practical advice, and honest challenges, making for a raw discussion on motherhood, identity, guilt, and partnership.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap: Darlene’s Attempt to “Have It All”

• [00:30] - [01:10]

  • Darlene originally planned to secretly take her child to daycare, work during the day, and return home ahead of her husband – maintaining the illusion of being a full-time stay-at-home mom.
  • She practiced the routine before her job started, intending to keep her new employment a secret.

  “I brought my son to daycare last Thursday. And I cried. I cried the entire time I dropped him off. I cried. I went home. I cried.” – Darlene [01:29]

2. Emotional Struggles and a Change of Heart

• [01:10] - [02:35]

  • Darlene’s emotional reaction to leaving her son at daycare overwhelms her; she quickly picks him up and is unable to proceed with her secret plan. She turns down the job before her first day.
  • She questions her resolve and wonders if her husband’s perspective was right, leading her to reconsider being a stay-at-home mom.

  “Maybe my husband's right. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I should be... the stay-at-home mom.” – Darlene [01:29]

3. Hosts Challenge Darlene’s Decision

• [02:35] - [03:08]

  • The hosts express surprise at Darlene’s 180-degree turnaround from her initial passion for working outside the home.
  • They challenge her to differentiate between her own feelings and her husband’s expectations, asking if she’s living her own truth or absorbing those around her.

  “Are these your words, or are these your husband's words?” – Bert [03:02]

4. Listener Support and Advice

• Linda’s Call [04:31]

  • Offers encouragement, suggesting the best moments as a mother are yet to come.
  • Recommends finding community through playdates and mom groups for support.

  “Whatever she does, make a decision with her husband. She can't make it on her own anymore. She's married.” – Linda [04:55]

• Melissa’s Call [05:37]

  • Normalizes Darlene’s anxiety and sadness but encourages her not to neglect her own needs or become isolated.
  • Asserts that it will get easier with time.

  “She's neglecting herself, being selfish for not trying to get out there and have a normal social life.” – Melissa [05:41]

5. Internal Conflict and Search for Fulfillment

• [05:59] - [07:09]

  • Host Cassie reflects: the goal isn’t about winning the “working vs stay-at-home mom” battle, but finding fulfillment.
  • Darlene admits to feeling lost and having no strong passions prior to motherhood and marriage.
  • The “soul-searching” theme is revisited as Darlene grapples with self-identity.

  “You just have to know yourself… when you’re comfortable and when you’re fulfilled and happy, your child will be, too.” – Cassie [06:24]

6. Skepticism & Further Advice From Listeners

• Jennifer’s Call [07:15]

  • Skeptical that Darlene’s drastic pivot is sustainable and suspects deeper dissatisfaction.
  • Suggests that partial or gradual work outside the home (like part-time work) might better fit Darlene’s needs.

  “You don’t take all those drastic measures and then… pull out that day you’re supposed to start a job and then just switch back.” – Jennifer [07:29]

• Stacy’s Call [09:14]

  • Reassures Darlene to cherish stay-at-home time while it lasts, referencing her own regret at not embracing it earlier.

  “Take each moment at a time. Enjoy the stay-at-home mom time you’re in now. You’ll be a working mom again before you know it.” – Stacy [09:39]

7. The Importance of Partnership and Communication

• [09:59] - [10:09]

  • Hosts underscore the necessity of involving her husband in major family decisions, and not carrying the burden alone.
  • Darlene acknowledges she hasn’t spoken with him yet but is working up the courage.

  “I think that you’ve got to talk to your husband about this whole issue. I mean, you’ve sort of worked this out… he’s not been included in any of this, right?” – Host [09:59]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “He’ll say a word again. Like, people are like, oh, first steps?! Well guess what? They’re gonna be walking their entire life.” – Bert [02:51]
• “I never really… I was never really passionate about anything. And I got married, I had a kid. I mean, that–that was it. That is what all I’ve known.” – Darlene [06:41]
• “Either way, your plan was never gonna work. There was no way. You would have exhausted yourself or the timing wouldn’t have worked out.” – Bert [09:48]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:30] – Recap of Darlene’s plan to secretly get a job
• [01:29] – Darlene’s emotional reaction to daycare
• [03:02] – Hosts question who’s really driving Darlene’s decision
• [04:34] – Linda gives supportive advice; motherhood community guidance
• [05:39] – Melissa normalizes Darlene’s emotions, urges self-care
• [06:12] – Host discussion on self-fulfillment for moms
• [07:15] – Jennifer voices skepticism, suggests a gradual approach
• [09:14] – Stacy reflects on cherishing stay-at-home time
• [09:59] – Final reminder: importance of communication with spouse

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Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is authentic, empathetic, and occasionally humorous, with moments of tough love and practical wisdom delivered in the Bert Show’s trademark, relatable style. It’s a blend of emotional honesty, real-life experience, and supportive banter, making the episode both comforting and thought-provoking for listeners navigating similar life choices.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

The first show. All right, let's get Darlene back on the voice disguiser now. She thought she's gonna be able to pull this off. This sounds like too much. So her idea was because my husband wants me to stay at home with the kids, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get up in the morning, I'm gonna take the kids to daycare. Then I'm gonna go to work. One kid.

[C]

One kid.

[B]

Then I'm gonna go to work. Then I'm gonna come on back before he gets home, pick up my baby, be at the house waiting for him when he gets there, cook him dinner every night. He'll never know anything different.

[D]

Food on the table, ready?

[C]

No problem.

[B]

No problem.

[E]

She was gonna practice this on Thursday and Friday, too, before she even started the job on Monday.

[B]

So, yeah, she got this job that he didn't have any idea about. She was supposed to start it yesterday. So. Darlene is back. Good morning, Darlene.

[F]

Good morning.

[B]

Hi. How are you?

[F]

Hi. I'm good. Thank you. How are you guys doing?

[B]

Okay. Now, Wendy said that you were gonna practice this on Thursday, Friday. I don't remember that part of the conversation. So what was the plan?

[F]

The plan was that I was going to start my son in daycare a couple days before I actually had to start my job just to see how it would go. And I was supposed to start my job yesterday. And I brought my son to daycare last Thursday. And I cried. I cried the entire time I dropped him off. I cried. I went home. I cried. I didn't know what to do with myself. Yeah. And I picked him up. And I picked him up very, very quickly. I only left him there a few hours, and I couldn't stand it. So just all that I could think of that day was, maybe my husband's right. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I should be. Maybe this is right for me to Be the stay at home mom. So I didn't start my job. I couldn't do it. I called him up and I told him, thank you. Thank you, and no thank you.

[C]

Complete and total change of heart. So you don't even want to try working for one day?

[F]

I couldn't leave him. I couldn't do it. What if I miss everything? What if I miss him saying a new word?

[B]

He'll say it again.

[F]

What's that?

[B]

He'll say a word again. Like, people are like, oh, first steps.

[F]

Well, guess what?

[B]

They're gonna be walking their entire life.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Are these. Are these your words, or are these your husband's words? Do you really feel this, or is this your husband talking?

[F]

I guess it's. I guess both. You know, I mean, this is. This is how I was raised as well. And, you know, my mom was home with us, so I. I don't. You know, I just. I just couldn't do. Wasn't in me. I guess I'm just not that person.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I mean, I kind of see where Bert's going. Because you were so passionate about being a working mom last week, and so it's such a 180, and it's simply from dropping your child off at daycare for an hour.

[B]

I can understand that. A lot of parents go through this. That first day is the toughest. If you ask a parent in daycare, I mean, yeah, it's brutal, but you get past it because you have to. Normally, she doesn't have to, you know, so I could see why you would give into it and say, look, I just don't want to go through that.

[F]

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe because the friends that I did tell, I didn't. They kind of were talking me out of it. And I don't know, the more I thought of it, the more I thought, maybe this is just the wrong move right now. Maybe in the future, maybe if I prep my husband and talk to him, you know, more on this. On this situation, Maybe. Maybe down the road when he's. When our son's a little older. I just. I don't know.

[B]

Here's Linda. She wants to give you some advice. Hey, Linda. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Good morning. How are you doing?

[B]

Okay.

[E]

I just want to tell Darlene to hang in there, that the best is yet to come with her son. And yes, motherhood can be isolating, but there are many, many ways to connect with other mothers that are in the same situation, and that can be terribly, terribly rewarding. Just wait till her son starts bringing home that artwork and showing all the work that she's put in. And whatever she does, make a decision with her husband. She can't make it on her own anymore. She's married.

[B]

Yeah, that was never gonna work.

[E]

That's a great point. Have you tried, darling, have you tried to do, like, play dates with other moms or set up some sort of group activity with your son?

[F]

Not really, no. I suppose I should look into that. I don't really know much of what's going on.

[C]

I know they do, like, swimming, like Mommy and me, like swimming classes and music classes and gymnastics. And there's tons of different stuff you guys could be doing together. And then you're connecting with other moms and maybe having more adult conversations, which will keep you from wanting to pull your hair out at home, you know?

[B]

Here's Melissa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Good morning. I just wanted to say that what she went through is normal. If she wasn't missing him and worried, she would be abnormal. But she's neglecting herself, being selfish for not trying to get out there and have a normal social life. I mean, she's going to go through that for two or three days. That's normal. But it will get better, believe me. I have two kids.

[D]

It just seems that, Darlene, that you're soul searching. I mean, you're searching what kind of mom you want to be because, I mean, this is the conversation we had last week both with you and producer Tracy on you got to figure out what kind of mom.

[C]

What.

[D]

What kind of mom you want to be that makes you fulfilled and makes you a better mother. And so, you know, it's like we said last week. I mean, stay at home mom, working mom. I hate when they're pitted against each other because I don't think it's a competition. I think it's. You just have to know yourself and. And know what? When you're comfortable and when you're fulfilled and happy, your child will be, too. And so I think that it just sounds like you're trying to figure out. At one point you thought you were a stay at home mom. And now. I mean, I'm sorry, wanted to be a working mom, and now it seems like you are leaning toward stay at home mom.

[F]

Well, I guess I'm just trying to figure out what it is that I. Yeah. What it is that I want. I never really. I was never really passionate about anything. And I got married, I had a kid. I mean, that. That was it. That is what all I've known. I suppose everybody's right. I should go out and search for some horses or something.

[B]

Have you considered putting your baby up for adoption? Hey, Jennifer. Jennifer.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Hey. Here we have Darlene, who thought that she wanted to be a working mom, puts a baby in daycare for one day and couldn't even do the entire day. And now has had second thoughts. And now she's thinking, okay, stay at home, mom thing, not so bad.

[E]

Yeah, I don't buy it. And I stayed home with my son for the first two years. I was miserable. I have a second son now. I'm working two days a week. I cannot stay home full time. I just, I know exactly how she feels and I feel bad for her because I think she just whether it's getting a babysitter for a couple hours a week or something, but she's not going to be happy staying home. You don't take all those drastic measures and then, you know, pull out that day. You're supposed to start a job and then just switch back.

[B]

So Melissa's nodding her head yes also.

[D]

Yeah, because I don't, I think you're going from one extreme to the other. And I, you know, it may not be a job. It's like what Jen and Wendy were saying. It may not be a job that is going to fulfill you, but I do think that where you were before made you miserable. So by going back to what you were doing before, I don't say how you're going to be happy now again from just the one hour that you dropped your kid off at daycare.

[F]

I think that maybe I felt guilty about not. Well, yeah, I definitely felt guilty about not speaking to my husband about it. I'm thinking if I just talk to him and let him know eventually that I did get my degree, I can eventually find another job or maybe a part time job, maybe not a full time job. Maybe I'm just not ready for that yet. Maybe what that woman just said, she works a couple days a week. I mean, how does she do it? I mean, I guess people do it

[B]

especially because you're in a very envious position in that you don't need the job. So you don't have to really pigeonhole yourself. It sort of opens things up for you. You can go out and you have the time to find the exact right job for you and your family situation. A lot of people don't have that right. Let me take one more call. Good morning, Stacy, you are on Q100. Hi.

[E]

Hi. Just quick Comment from a stay home mom to now a working mom. Just take the time you have to be a stay home mom right now and cherish it and take every moment. Because before you know it, you'll be at that first day of kindergarten and you can go back to work and you're going to look back like I do right now and just wish I was home with these children right now, going to mom's groups, going to play dates because. And be glad, like y' all were saying, that you have the choice to be home. So just take each moment at a time. Enjoy the stay at home mom time. You're in now. You'll be a working mom again before you know it.

[B]

I'll tell you what. Either way, your plan was never gonna work. There was no way you would have exhausted yourself or the timing wouldn't have worked out one day. There's just no way it was gonna work.

[C]

I think that you've got to talk to your husband about this whole issue. I mean, you've sort of worked this out, you know, from start to finish on, and he's not been included in any of this, right?

[F]

No, I'm working up the courage.

[B]

All right, Darlene, thanks for sharing with us. We appreciate it. Good luck either way. All right.

[F]

Thank you so much for the advice. Thank you.

[B]

Bye. Bye. Get it the bird show.