Vault: She had a horrible rental car experience

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Had a Horrible Rental Car Experience (August 12, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this classic segment, Melissa Carter shares her latest episode of “bad travel karma” with The Bert Show team, centering on a disastrous rental car experience in Los Angeles. The episode blends laughter, camaraderie, and some venting as Melissa recounts her ordeal trying to get from LA to Las Vegas, highlighting the absurdities and frustrations many experience with rental car companies. The hosts draw parallels to sitcom moments, engage in some playful banter, and offer commentary on customer service—making it both an entertaining and relatable listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Melissa’s “Bad Travel Karma” (00:47 – 01:54)

• Previous travel trouble: Melissa recalls past mishaps, including a turbulent flight where "three pukers" surrounded her.
  • Quote: “On a flight back from Florida… I had like three pukers around me on the flight. That was disgusting.” – Melissa (00:47)
• Before LA, she was stuck on a plane on the runway because the pilots weren’t there.

2. Planning the LA to Vegas Drive (01:55 – 02:54)

• Trip arrangement: Melissa shares why she booked a one-way car rental (to avoid LAX and see more of the country).
• She reserved with Avis, the only company allowing pickup in downtown LA.

3. The Avis Debacle (03:19 – 05:01)

• On arrival, she is told despite her confirmation, “We don’t have any cars left.”
  • Quote: “What’s the point in a reservation if I can’t have a car?” – Melissa (03:30)
• The agent’s response is indifferent, telling her to wait for an unknown amount of time until (possibly) a car comes in.
• Cabs are hard to find in LA; the agent’s promise to call a cab is clearly insincere.
  • Quote: “I know he didn’t call me a cab.” – Melissa (04:45)
• She compares the experience to a classic Seinfeld episode about rental car reservations.

4. Walking Through Downtown LA (05:01 – 05:51)

• Melissa, luggage in tow, walks to find a cab and finally spots a line of taxis.
• A cabbie offers to drive her to Vegas for $700 (which she quickly declines), so she opts for LAX instead.

5. Rescue by Show Listeners & Southwest Airlines (06:03 – 06:56)

• While venting on Twitter, Bert Show listeners come through, looking up flights for her and tweeting options.
• She gets a Southwest flight “for about the same as the car rental” within 40 minutes and catches the next flight to Vegas just in time.
  • Quote: “She said, ‘I got something in 40 minutes, and you’ll make it in plenty of time.’” – Melissa (06:30)

6. Reflections and Takeaways (07:04 – 08:59)

• Melissa copes by popping a Xanax at the airport counter (“As soon as I gave her my credit card, I popped the pill.” – 07:08).
• She reflects on the uselessness of reservations if companies don’t honor them, suggesting agencies should advertise first-come, first-served instead.
• The co-hosts lament the poor customer service and call out the indifferent employee:
  • Quote: “He was so… he almost blamed me. Like, well, basically I should have expected it because it’s Memorial Day.” – Melissa (08:31)
• The entire experience gets chalked up to Melissa’s “bad travel karma,” amusing and exasperating the group.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa, on rental car reservations:
  “If I can’t have a car, what’s the point in a reservation?” (03:30)
• Seinfeld reference by hosts:
  “This is a Seinfeld episode, you know this, right?” (03:46), highlighting the absurdity of car reservations not being honored.
• About LA taxis:
  “Los Angeles is probably very much like Atlanta, trying to find a cab… it’s just not like New York.” (04:45)
• Coping tactics:
  “I started gnawing on a Xanax in the Avis building when she was talking to that dude.” – Co-host (07:04)
• On customer service:
  “He could have called other rental companies… But no, he was so… he almost blamed me.” – Melissa (08:31)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:47 – 01:54 – Melissa’s history of bad travel karma.
• 02:54 – 03:38 – Arrival at Avis; finding out no car is available.
• 04:45 – 05:50 – Stranded on the sidewalk, unable to get a cab.
• 06:03 – 06:56 – Listener support and quick flight to Vegas.
• 07:08 – 07:31 – Melissa’s airport coping rituals and landing in Vegas.
• 08:00 – 09:02 – Final reflections and wrapping up the ordeal.

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Tone and Style

The conversation is casual, honest, and infused with humor—even amid frustration. The group's chemistry allows for moments of levity (Seinfeld jokes, friendly ribbing), while Melissa’s storytelling keeps listeners engaged and relating to the universal pain of bad customer service.

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In Summary:
Melissa’s story is the centerpiece of this episode—showcasing both everyday annoyances and the power of community (thanks to listener support). The issues with rental car reservations are hilariously but pointedly dissected, and the group reinforces why The Bert Show remains a go-to for lighthearted, authentic stories about real-life mishaps.

Transcript

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[Co-host 1]

The Bird Show.

[Melissa Carter]

So I think my bad travel karma has been confirmed because after we left, or were we all were trying to leave Los Angeles to go our separate ways, I had a harder time getting out of town than the rest of you. We had talked about my bad travel karma because on a flight back, back from Florida, was it a month or two ago, I had like three pukers around me on the flight. That was disgusting.

[Co-host 1]

Literally three people puking all around you on the flight.

[Melissa Carter]

Correct.

[Co-host 1]

Was it just a really turbulent flight?

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Co-host 1]

Okay.

[Melissa Carter]

The flight from hell. And then on the way out to Los Angeles, I told you about how I was stuck on the Runway in the plane because the pilots were actually in another plane in Jacksonville trying to get to Atlanta. So our pilots weren't even there. So we talked about how my travel karma and the things that happen around me during travel are just bizarre. Well, I have another story to add to this. So we all were in Los Angeles for American Idol. Great experience. We're there, fun you. Then we're all leaving. And my plans were to drive to Las Vegas because I decided to drive because I had never really explored that part of the country. I thought it'd be neat. I got plenty of time. I don't have any rush. And I'll just drive from LA to Vegas. Make that drive. See it once got, you know, done.

[Co-host 1]

And you don't like flying anyway.

[Melissa Carter]

And I don't like flying anyway. And so I was had booked my flight back to Atlanta from Las Vegas over the weekend because I was meeting Katie in Vegas. Okay. So I had. When I made my plane reservations, I had also made my car reservation. So with certain Company who I will never use again. I had called ahead and I had made a reservation for a car from. From LA to Vegas. Because most car companies make you go from airport to airport when they rent a car one way. And this company I use because they did not force you to have to go. I didn't have to go to LAX to pick up this car. I could just pick it up one of the offices that was near our hotel in downtown Los Angeles.

[Co-host 2]

So I had a legitimate big company

[Melissa Carter]

or legitimate big company that everybody's heard

[Co-host 2]

of, bucket rentals or something like.

[Melissa Carter]

It's national company everybody's heard of. And so are you avoiding saying the

[Co-host 1]

name because you think we'll be in trouble if we do that?

[Melissa Carter]

I don't know. I mean, I can go ahead.

[Co-host 2]

This ain't the Clark Howard Show. You say that name, Melissa, you own your disappointment.

[Melissa Carter]

I will never use Avis again. So I had. Avis was the only company that would allow me not to have to go to lax, which, I mean, why am I going to LAX when I might as well just take the plane? So I went to the. I had the confirmation number. They even sent me a reminder email, like, a couple days before. Don't forget, this is when you're 9am on Thursday morning. You're picking up your car, taking it to Las Vegas, dropping it off at one of the hotels near my hotel, and everything's going to be great.

[Co-host 2]

Perfect.

[Melissa Carter]

Got my confirmation over. Everything's great. Excited, ready to see a new car. So I have my luggage. I'm ready. I get up early on Thursday morning, and then I go to the Avis office right there in downtown Los Angeles. And I walked in. Melissa Carter, I've got my. Here's my confirmation number. I'm ready for my car. And he said, we don't have any cars left.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, no.

[Melissa Carter]

And I said, what do you mean you don't have any cars left? He said, we just. It's a holiday weekend. We don't have any cars left. And I said, but I have my confrontation.

[Co-host 2]

This is a Seinfeld episode. You know this, right?

[Melissa Carter]

Anyway.

[Co-host 1]

Reservation.

[Co-host 2]

Having a. Really.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, Having a reservation.

[Co-host 2]

This is a true Seinfeld episode.

[Melissa Carter]

You know what? This is my life. So I said, this is. I said, I have a reservation for a car here. And what's the point in a reservation if I can't have a car? So I called one other Avis. All he helped me with was one other Avis. Do you got a car? No. Okay, thanks. He said, I'm sorry, you Just gonna have to sit and wait for somebody else to check the car back in. And I said, well. And I said, well, what time is that gonna be? And he said, I have no idea. And then went back to reading whatever he was reading. No way. And I said, I am stuck in downtown LA with my luggage in tow on, you know, And I said, I said, will you call me a cab at least? And so he said, sure. So I go out on the curb, there was chairs outside. And I thought, I'm gonna cuss this guy out if I stay in here. So I go outside and I sit waiting on a cab. Five cabs pass by and I turn to look at him in the glass window and I kind of shrugged my shoulders, like, did you know? And he just shrugged his shoulders back at me. I know he didn't call me a cab. So I start walking down the street. Because in Los Angeles, unfortunately, Los Angeles is probably very much like Atlanta, trying to find a cab. I mean, it's just not like New York. If you've ever been to New York, the majority of the cars on the street, it's no problem. Los Angeles is a little difficult to find a cab.

[Co-host 1]

Everything's a little bit more spread out, right?

[Melissa Carter]

It's very much like Atlanta. Everything is spread out. You have to have a car to get everywhere. So I am walking up the sidewalk in downtown Los Angeles with my luggage without a way to Vegas. And so I must have been steamed, livid. So I call Katie, let her know, and I'm just, I said, I'm just walking down the street trying to find a cab. So I finally, I see this line of cabs because at our hotels, the same thing. A lot of hotels have the cabbies parked nearby. If the hotel needs it, then they'll whistle for the cab to come over. And the cabs just know the hotel will always have guests read. So I'm walking in the distance, I see a line of cabs and I think, well, I don't know what hotel this is, but I'm gonna go. And then fortunately, I see this one cabbie figured out she's in need of help.

[Co-host 1]

What gave it away? Cab?

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Yep.

[Melissa Carter]

What gave it away? My big old luggage I'm hauling up downtown LA at 9 o' clock on a Thursday morning. And so he picked me up, he offered to take me to Vegas for $700, which is, no, thank you,

[Co-host 1]

I

[Melissa Carter]

don't hate to fly that much, right? So I said, take me to lax. And so I went to lax. And fortunately. And I want to thank Birch show listeners because I had tweete, angry as hell, and I had Birch old listeners actually look up flights for me, which was cool, and tweeted them back to me. And all the people that suggested Southwest, because that's the big hub airline over there, had plenty of flights to Vegas. And so I went to the airport, went up to the Southwest desk. I said, I'm here to buy a ticket. You got something for Vegas? She said, I got something in 40 minutes, and you'll make it in plenty of time.

[Co-host 1]

Get out of here.

[Melissa Carter]

So I. She took my bag.

[Co-host 2]

What was your charge for the last minute ticket?

[Melissa Carter]

It was. It was about the same as it would have been for the rental car. It was not that expensive.

[Co-host 2]

It's awesome.

[Melissa Carter]

Southwest has so many flights there. And so she said, your bag's gonna be fine. She. She did late check in, had somebody walk the bag to the gate. I got to the gate. Literally, when I got to the gate, they were boarding, got on the plane, and got. And went and took the hour flight to Vegas.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Wow.

[Co-host 1]

Really?

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Yes.

[Melissa Carter]

So I have my pills with me at all times.

[Co-host 2]

She started gnawing on a Xanax in the Avis building when she was talking to that dude.

[Melissa Carter]

I said, do flights available? And as soon as I gave her my credit card, I popped the pill.

[Co-host 1]

You know, I could tell you this now because you've landed and all, but that Vegas Runway traditionally is one of the bumpiest to land on because of the way the heat comes off the desert when you land in Vegas. Of course it was.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Yes, it was.

[Melissa Carter]

You got there. I got there early. So that was the one good thing. But I will never use Avis again.

[Co-host 1]

No, of course you should.

[Melissa Carter]

The thing is that I will. I mean, I know the strongly worded letter, but basically my argument to Avis is just. Just please advertise first come, first serve.

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Just.

[Melissa Carter]

Just tell people what you're about.

[Co-host 2]

Well, I think that I. I think it's with the.

[Melissa Carter]

Just tell people what you're about or

[Co-host 1]

warn you on the day that you're supposed to pick up. If you don't have any cars available, somebody should call and say, I just gotta tell you in two hours, you're supposed to be here. We got not.

[Melissa Carter]

I'd say, just forget the reservation thing. Just first come, first serve. And then there would have been no problem.

[Co-host 2]

Well, don't you think the bigger problem, too is because the first come, first serve, the reservation thing at rental car booth, is it. I mean, that's a long. It was that exact situation. Is a Seinfeld episode with Jerry standing in front of there going, I have a reservation. It's a reservation. If I don't have. What are you reserving? If I Jerry Seinfeld. So everybody thinks they can do Jerry Seinfeld, but the attitude of the employee

[Melissa Carter]

whose name I did get, yes, they

[Co-host 2]

need, they need to train those people. Like when it comes to, you know, when you step up to that desk.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, he should have called. He should have at least made more of an effort. He could have called other rental companies said, you know, I will call Budget, I will call. And I'm so sorry. And this is what. But no, he was so. He almost blamed me. Like, well, basically I should have expected it because his Memorial Day.

[Co-host 1]

Right. And just gave you a toot about it. That sucks.

[Melissa Carter]

And didn't call me a taxi, even though he's pretending like he did. I mean, it just. I was so livid. But I made it to Vegas. But yes, I just. And I thought I do have bad travel karma.

[Co-host 1]

You do.

[Melissa Carter]

I do. I just do. Horrible.

[Co-host 1]

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[Melissa Carter]

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