Vault: She had experiences with some creepy old men.

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: She had experiences with some creepy old men
Date: July 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around a conversation with intern Bianca and other cast members following her return from a spring break trip in Cancun, Mexico. The team discusses Bianca’s experiences, particularly her encounters with older men who seemed out of place among the spring-breaking crowd. The conversation expands to broader concerns about safety, the sometimes reckless nature of youth, and urban legends or true crime stories related to such trips.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spring Break in Cancun: Then and Now

• [01:13] Bianca’s Spring Break: Bianca returns from a lively Cancun trip, recounting a typical mix of margaritas, partying, and "a lot of drinking."
• [01:47] Bert jokes about faking knee surgery to avoid missing the trip.
  "I purposely broke my knee. I said, if you're not going to be in, I'm not coming in." (Bert, 01:19)
• [01:59] The cast jokes about the enduring culture of spring break over generations.

2. The ‘Creepy Old Men’ Phenomenon

• [02:30-05:24] Bianca’s Story: She describes seeing an older, solitary man—late 30s/early 40s—on a party boat. His presence among mostly young revelers sparks concern.

  • The man sat alone, seemingly disguised with a hat and large glasses, observing younger women.
  • Eventually, after being approached and danced on by a group of “wild” girls, he interacted briefly before again isolating himself and watching.
  • He reportedly whispered invitations to his hotel room, which Bianca flags as highly concerning:

    "That's how girls end up missing. Like, you don't do that." (Bianca, 04:48)

• [05:45] Retrospective Wisdom:

  “It’s easy for us now to look back at it and see how stupid it was. But when you were there, in your 20s, you’re just reckless and looking for the next good time.” (Bert, 05:45)

3. Safety & Group Mentality

• [06:00] Difference in Gendered Safety:
  • Conversation turns to the group mentality among friends on spring break, especially among women.
  • Key takeaway: Friends are responsible for watching out for each other, not letting anyone wander off with strangers—especially older ones.

  “If you're a good friend, especially if you're on spring break, you make sure you know where the others are.” (Concerned Friend, 06:00)

4. Cautionary Tales and Urban Legends

• [06:26 - 08:43] The 'Spring Break Nightmares' Show:

  • Bianca mentions stumbling upon a TV show called Spring Break Nightmares on E!, recounting cautionary or horror stories centered mostly in Mexico.

  • Most notably, she details a chilling episode involving two college men targeted by a drug gang who believe eating a “smart” person’s brain grants powers.

    "The one guy in that conversation said that he was a pre-med student and he was blonde. The other guy was not a pre-med student. They made the determination at that point that the blond guy would go…" (Bianca, 08:03)
    "...He said, 'come to my hotel room, whatever.' And I just like, that's how girls end up missing." (Bianca, 04:48)

  • The group reacts with a mix of disbelief and rueful acknowledgment that such stories—urban legends or not—do leave a mark.

5. Gendered Differences in Perception of Danger

• [08:57 - 09:11] Bert shares a story about his own less-cautious youth, contrasting how safety is viewed differently by young men and women.

  "...when you're that young man, you don't even process that kind of danger." (Bert, 09:08)

6. Final Thoughts and Parental Warning

• Bianca recommends the True Horror Stories: Spring Break Edition as a serious wakeup call for those considering spring break in risky areas, albeit with a warning that “parents, if you got kids at spring break, don’t watch it!” (Bianca, 09:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the oddness of older men on spring break:

  “It was like he was disguised. He had a hat covering his face, big glasses on... he sat in the back by himself. And he was just sitting, arms folded, just watching the young girls.”
  — Cancun Spring Breaker, 03:33

• On hindsight and safety:

  "We would've never let one leave the pack. If you're a good friend, especially on spring break, you make sure you know where the others are."
  — Concerned Friend, 06:00

• On urban legends and real spring break danger:

  "Because they believe they could eat the brain and they had to find smart blond headed people."
  — Bianca, 08:04

• On how recklessness can override sense:

  "It's easy for us now to look back at it and see how stupid it was. But when you were there, in your 20s, you're just reckless and looking for the next good time."
  — Bert, 05:45

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bianca Returns / Cancun Recap: 00:58 – 02:32
• Creepy Old Guy Story: 02:32 – 05:24
• Safety and Group Mentality: 06:00 – 06:26
• Spring Break Horror Stories (TV Show Discussion/Urban Legends): 06:26 – 08:43
• Gender Differences & Cautionary Tales: 08:57 – 09:33

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Tone and Language

As always, The Bert Show leans conversational and candid, blending humor and playful ribbing with moments of genuine concern and cautionary wisdom. The hosts and guests keep it real with authentic anecdotes and reactions, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking—especially for listeners who might be parents or considering their own spring break travels.

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Transcript

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[Bianca]

Harmony the bird show. Our intern Bianca is back after being gone for a week. And you're very missed, you know. You know.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Canceled us.

[Concerned Friend]

You didn't miss us?

[Bert]

Not even for a second. You didn't think about us for a second.

[Bianca]

Kurt was so upset that you. You didn't come in that he didn't come in at all either.

[Bert]

Yeah, I went.

[Concerned Friend]

I know.

[Bert]

I purposely broke my knee. I said, if you're not going to be in, I'm not coming in.

[Bianca]

So where'd you go for spring break?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Cancun.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah.

[Concerned Friend]

Oh, that's a party place.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Yes, it is. Definitely.

[Bianca]

Was this your first spring break?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

No, I've been plenty places before.

[Bianca]

Take us old folks down there. Tell us what it's like in Mexico for spring break.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Well, it's margaritas and partying and a lot of drinking.

[Bert]

They still do that?

[Bianca]

Hey, Bert. Really?

[McDonald's Advertiser]

Did.

[Bianca]

Did you really have knee surgery, Bert, or were you in Cancun?

[Bert]

I was in Cancun. Yeah. I was fishing. That's where I got the knee injury. I don't think. Like, spring break's never gonna change, man. Uh, same as it was 50 years ago as it is now.

[Oregon Lottery Announcer]

Drinking, drinking.

[Host/Moderator]

Did they do the thing at the Senior Frogs where they blow the whistle and shoot the shots in your mouth?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

No, we didn't do that, but I did it on the party boat.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay.

[Concerned Friend]

Party boat.

[Host/Moderator]

Party boat.

[Concerned Friend]

Drinking on the water.

[Host/Moderator]

Not only did you get to Cancun, but then you had to get on a party boat.

[Bert]

Cheapest liquor in Mexico.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

All Day Unlimited.

[Host/Moderator]

Wow.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

They just kept it coming.

[Bianca]

Was there any day at spring break where you didn't have a drink of alcohol?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

No.

[Concerned Friend]

Why would you do that?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Yeah, why would you? That's why I was asking.

[Bianca]

Just asking.

[Bert]

What's the point?

[Bianca]

So I want to hear about the creepy guy, because I've.

[Host/Moderator]

This is fascinating.

[Bianca]

I've heard stories of adult dudes like my age, dudes who go down to Cancun in Mexico during spring break time as their vacation. Like they take their vacation week from their job, not their college spring break, their full time job. And I was like, whatever you get, you know, let it go. Yeah, that's.

[Bert]

I'll tell next Stacey. I'm going to tell her next year. That's where I'm going on my solo trip. We're going down to Cancun on my solo trip.

[Bianca]

It makes it any creepier than that

[Host/Moderator]

happened to be on spring break.

[Bianca]

Well, you know, that's always a friend of a friend, you know, it's like that urban legend thing, right? But Bianca saw one or two of those dudes creeping around down there.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Very creepy. Well, we were boarding for the party boat and it was all teenagers and they were older people, but they were with their families. Nobody was solo. So this one guy came on by himself and I looked, I was okay. So he sat in the corner.

[Concerned Friend]

How old was he?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

He was late 30s, early 40s.

[Concerned Friend]

Too old to be there.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Yeah. So he was like. It was like he was disguised. He had a hat covering his face, big glasses on, like. And he sat in the back by himself. And he was just sitting, his arms were folded and he was just watching the young girls. Right. So about an hour into it, everybody is drunk, everyone is dancing. And these girls, they were like really wild. Like girls gone wild, whatever. So they went over to him, they were dancing on him, kissing on him. And then he finally, you know, got up and he interacted with them, but then he sat back down and was just watching them.

[Bianca]

That visual is just creepy. Like the old guy in the corner of the room watching.

[Bert]

Well, how did he get the girls to hook up with him if he was the. The creepy guy? They just went right up to him.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

But they were just wild, you know, they were just dancing on everyone bending over, doing splits. Like they were just beyond the fact

[Concerned Friend]

that he was just sitting there by himself. And when you're drunk, that's a fun target or whatever.

[Bianca]

And that guy's banking on. It's Jen, Bianca, Melissa and Wendy. And they're the wild girls. They're Banking on Melissa saying, hey Jen, I dare you to go over there and make out with that dude.

[Host/Moderator]

Look at that dude.

[Concerned Friend]

Nobody should be alone on a bus or on a party boat.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Yeah, yeah, that was weird itself. He was by himself. And how old were the girls? They were in their 20s, like 23, 24. Okay, maybe 21. Yeah, but anyway, so they were talking, whatever. And at the end of the trip, I mean at the end of the boat ride, they were kissing this one girl in him. So I, I tapped my boyfriend. I was like, look at him, it looks pretty weird. And he's like, yeah, everyone's looking at it. So he whispers to the girls I heard because they were right next to me. He said, come to my hotel room, whatever. And I just like, that's how girls end up missing. Like, you don't do that. So I just thought it was pretty creepy. So I was on America's Most Wanted trying to see if I seen him on there and stuff like that. I mean, I have a picture of him in my camera. So it was just pretty weird. I just thought something was going on.

[Host/Moderator]

And those girls were just so careless.

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Do you think they went.

[Host/Moderator]

Did it look like they were gonna go back with him?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Really, really well.

[Bianca]

Cause he's got a full time job, you know, so he can. He's probably got the.

[Host/Moderator]

He's promising to pay for stuff.

[Bert]

Yeah, he's getting booze.

[Bianca]

He's probably staying at the nicer hotel. There's nobody else in the room and he can pay the tab and everything.

[Bert]

And it's easy for us now to look back at it and see how stupid it was. But when you were there, I mean, in your 20s, you're so reckless and you're just looking for like the next. Yeah, when's the next good time gonna happen?

[Cancun Spring Breaker]

I wouldn't be aware of a 45

[Host/Moderator]

year old dude hanging in the corner.

[Bert]

That's creepy.

[Concerned Friend]

And we would have never let. We would have never let one leave the pack to go by themselves. You know, girls would, I mean, if you're a good friend, especially if you're on spring break, then you and your group of girls that have gone together, you make sure that you know where the others are. You don't just let one go with somebody who, especially older, that would have been extra creepy. But even just. Yeah, just somebody local and you don't know who they are. You just, you wouldn't let them go by themselves.

[Bianca]

There's a TV show right now that's on E. I stumbled across it on Sunday Afternoon. And if you had seen this, Bianca, you may not have gone. Even as a young, reckless college student. It's called Spring Break Nightmares. And it could basically be called Reasons to Not Go to Mexico. Because it seemed like, was it just

[Concerned Friend]

Mexico they were focused on?

[Bianca]

80% of the stories had to do with Mexico. And it sucked. Like, if you're the Mexico Board of Tourism, sure. Like, you hated that. But it was story. The creepiest story were two dudes and they were partying and they had stories about, like, guys who got just roughed up by the cops to get money from them. You know, like the cops would instigate fights and then you'd have to pay your fine in cash in the back of the police car. And there's all those stories. And the creepiest one were these two dudes who were on a bus going back to their hotel room, and they were having a conversation. And then the one dude wakes up on a bench in a park. The next morning he's like, hello. And his buddy's missing. Well, they do the whole investigation and they find out that sitting behind them on the bus were members of this gang that sells and distributes drugs. Drug gang. And they believe that they need to remain smarter than the authorities and have superpowers. And one way they could obtain that is by eating the brain. Oh, damn.

[Host/Moderator]

This sounds like a horror or like

[Concerned Friend]

an urban legend or something.

[Bianca]

They showed it. It was the Mexican version of cops because they believe they could eat the brain and they had to find smart blond headed people.

[Concerned Friend]

What?

[Bianca]

Yep. So these guys were having a conversation on the bus, and the one guy in that conversation said that he was a pre med student and he was blonde. And he was blonde. The other guy was not a pre med student. They made the determination at that point that the blond guy would go. So they took the blond guy, they kill him, do crazy things with his body, bury him on the farm. When they did the investigation. The cool thing about the Mexican version of cops, you get busted doing something wrong in Mexico, they made the guy who did it dig up the body. So that's what the TV coverage is. It's like him trying to dig. And it was like 20 people over a dozen years that they had found. And it was.

[Concerned Friend]

I can't believe this, because it does sound like something my mother would tell me before I went on spring break.

[Bert]

Right, to scare you like a Scare Straight story. Look, I went down to Waikiki for spring break one year with two dudes. We didn't see my friend Kenny for four days. He left with a girl and never even thought twice.

[Bianca]

Slow, Kenny.

[Bert]

Slow Kenny. It was pretty fast that week, and we didn't see him for four days. Never thought twice about it. And he showed up right before we left for our flight and everything was fine.

[Concerned Friend]

See, girls are different. I mean, still reckless, but when you're

[Bert]

that young man, you don't even process that kind of danger.

[Concerned Friend]

We would have never let a girl be gone for four days in our group.

[Bianca]

The name of the show, it's on E. And it's called True Horror Stories. Spring Break edition or something like that. I found a link to the page, but I can't find the next time it airs, so I'll give that to Joanna and I'll keep researching, but check it out. Yeah, it's on E. And it'll freak you out. Parents, if you got kids at spring break, don't watch it.

[Host/Moderator]

Oof.

[Bert]

Hey, the bird show.

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[Bert]

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