Vault: She Installed Spyware on Her Boyfriend's Laptop

Summary

---

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: She Installed Spyware on Her Boyfriend's Laptop
Date: May 25, 2026

---

Overview

In this vault episode, The Bert Show takes a dramatic and ethically charged listener call as part of “Psycho on Friday.” Caller Julie reveals how she, with her brother's technical help, installed spyware on her (ex) boyfriend's laptop by swapping it out for an identical model, allowing her to monitor his online activity. The cast reacts to her scheme with a mix of shock, humor, and genuine curiosity, sparking a lively conversation about boundaries, trust, and digital privacy.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Julie’s Story: The Setup

[01:16 – 03:24]

• Julie calls in with her tale: She’s sort-of seeing her ex-boyfriend, and feeling insecure enough to justify drastic measures.
• She buys an identical laptop to his, and, aided by her tech-savvy brother, installs spyware that will forward her email updates on his digital activity.
• “I'm kind of seeing my ex boyfriend. We're kind of in a limbo area right now, so I think that alone is making me a little on edge.” — Julie (01:27)

Memorable moment:
Julie details the swap—she waits until her ex is in the shower, swaps laptops, and sneaks out with his original machine.
“And while he was in the shower, I switched out our laptops… I ran back into my car… and put it in my trunk.” — Julie (02:16)

The Technicalities and Justifications

[03:24 – 05:19]

• The cast expresses disbelief over Julie's dedication, specifically that she spent $900 on the second laptop to execute the plan.
  • “So you spent $900 to spy on your boyfriend?” — Host (03:50)
• Julie defends the expense: She needed a laptop anyway, so it’s just a bonus.
  • “I needed it anyway. I mean, I had been just using this dumb, like, desktop one, and I always wanted a laptop. So whatever, it's fine. It didn't break my mind.” — Julie (03:56)
• The hosts question the possible flaws in Julie’s plan, such as whether the pre-set-up laptop will tip off her boyfriend.
  • “Wouldn't that look a little odd when he pulled his new laptop out of the box and it's already set up?” — Co-host 2 (05:06)
• Julie is unsure—her brother handled the set-up, and she’s banking on her boyfriend not noticing or not caring.

Notable quote:
“I'm just, like, on pins and needles, like, waiting for my email.” — Julie (05:47)

The Cast’s Reaction and Ethical Debate

[05:20 – 06:57]

• The cast walks through the potential for discovery—product registration, name mismatches, etc.
• They joke about the boyfriend possibly being as unobservant as most people.
  • “I don't know if I would catch that.” — Co-host 1 (05:31)
• Some technical humor arises: product activation codes, registration, and the classic analogy of using a VIN number on a laptop.
  • “No, but, like, you have to. Sometimes you have to type in username and organization name and all that stuff, right? Like, what if he typed it in? ...for whatever reason, whenever I register for something, I use Jeffrey.” — Host (06:03)
• Julie puts her faith in her brother’s computer savvy; the panel jokes about “nerds” and the technical workarounds.
  • “He knows how to put in spyware. I'm sure he can figure out how to get out of a nerd.” — Co-host 1 (06:20 & 06:24, playful tone)

Ongoing Saga & Follow-Up

[06:39 – 07:03]

• The hosts ask Julie to keep them posted on the “spyware alerts”—they plan to check in as events unfold.
  • “We have all of your information, Julie, so we're gonna… follow up with you every couple days about the emails that you get or the spyware or whatever, and just keep us posted… We would love to follow along.” — Host (06:39)
• Julie agrees to follow-up, and the cast transitions out of the segment.

---

Memorable Quotes

• “I'm kind of seeing my ex boyfriend. We're kind of in a limbo area right now, so I think that alone is making me a little on edge.”
  — Julie (01:27)

• “So you spent $900 to spy on your boyfriend?”
  — Host (03:50)

• “I'm just, like, on pins and needles, like, waiting for my email.”
  — Julie (05:47)

• “No spyware needed on that one.”
  — Co-host 1 (06:36; joking about how dramatic situations sometimes don’t need tech solutions)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:16] — Introduction of Julie’s spyware story
• [02:16] — Julie describes swapping out the laptops while her boyfriend is in the shower
• [03:40] — The $900 laptop expenditure revelation
• [05:06] — Discussion of whether the boyfriend will notice the laptop has been preconfigured
• [06:39] — Hosts arrange to follow up with Julie on how the spyware scheme unfolds

---

Tone and Takeaways

The tone is casual and jokey, but there is an undercurrent of ethical concern—especially in the reactions from the hosts, who seem half-shocked, half-amused by Julie’s lengths. The cast balances genuine curiosity with light teasing, avoiding harsh judgment while letting the outlandishness of the situation speak for itself.

This episode is a wild, voyeuristic look into listener drama, blending humor and disbelief with just a hint of “please, don’t try this at home.”

---

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.comb for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions.

[Co-host 1]

Visit borhears.com support is available 247 with VRBoCare.

[Julie (Caller)]

We're here day or night, ready whenever

[Co-host 1]

you need help because a great trip starts with the right support.

[Announcer]

The first show.

[Host]

We are stepping into Psycho on Friday and Julie called us up to tell us about swapping her boyfriend's computer out for one with some spyware on it.

[Julie (Caller)]

I'm kind of seeing my ex boyfriend. We're kind of on a limbo area right now, so I think that alone is making me a little on edge. Why don't I go and buy the same exact laptop that my boyfriend or whatever ex boyfriend got? Because my brother has the idea that he can install some kind of spy software. I can see exactly what my boyfriend is doing, like on email and Facebook and any IM that he gets.

[Co-host 1]

Mm. Mm. That was scarier than driving to Virginia

[Host]

and hopefully more believable. Hey, Julie, welcome. Welcome to the show. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Julie (Caller)]

Hi, guys. Hey.

[Host]

How was your. How was your weekend?

[Julie (Caller)]

It was fine. So Saturday, my brother gave me the laptop that we had bought with the spyware on it and I went over to my boyfriend's house and. And while he was in the shower, I switched out our Laptops. So I ran back into my car while he was in the shower and took his laptop and put it in my trunk. And when he got out, my laptop was in his house in the box that he had purchased his laptop in.

[Host]

And this is the one that your brother had. So. Okay, so you have.

[Julie (Caller)]

I wear on my new laptop. I bought the identical. Same one we installed. Or we. I just watched. But he put his spyware on it, Right. And now that's the same one that my boyfriend bought, and it's in my boyfriend's house. And so now if he goes on it, email says anything, I'll receive an email on my email account that he's doing. Whatever, because that's the one with the spyware on it.

[Host]

And he'll never be able to tell that this is happening.

[Julie (Caller)]

No, no. Especially since he hadn't even opened the laptop. So he doesn't even know what it looks like.

[Host]

I can't believe. And maybe we did ask this and I missed it, but how much did you spend on the laptop when you went out?

[Julie (Caller)]

Well, technically I needed a new laptop anyway, but about, like, after all the taxes and everything, like, 900.

[Host]

So you spent $900 to spy on your boyfriend?

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Co-host 1]

Well, she needed the computer anyway.

[Julie (Caller)]

I needed it anyway. I mean, I had been just using this dumb, like, desktop one, and I always wanted a laptop. So whatever, it's fine. It didn't break my mind.

[Host]

So now you. So you go over to his house, he goes into the shower, you take his laptop out of the box, put your laptop in there, run yours out, his original one out to the car. That's the one you're going to use and keep. And then he's going to rock and roll. And now has he set it up yet?

[Julie (Caller)]

I don't think he has, because I know he was busy all day Sunday, and I've been sitting by my email, like, checking it every 20 minutes, and I haven't gotten it. But then you get an email alert saying spyware has detected, so and so's you. Whatever. I don't know what the email says verbatim, but you get an email and got it. I haven't received any notifications saying that, you know, he's up to something.

[Co-host 2]

But if your boyfriend hasn't set up his computer yet, he's gonna have a setup one in the box. Wouldn't that look a little odd?

[Julie (Caller)]

I didn't understand that. What if you're.

[Co-host 2]

You said your boyfriend hasn't set up his computer, but the one that you put in the box was set up already. Wouldn't that look a little odd when he pulled his new laptop out of the box and it's already set up,

[Co-host 1]

it's already been charged, like, the batteries, I think.

[Julie (Caller)]

I don't know, because maybe. Well, my. My brother handled that, so he's really good at, like, computers and stuff, so I'm really not sure exactly.

[Co-host 1]

I don't know if I would catch that. I don't know if I would catch that.

[Julie (Caller)]

The only other thing, he might have bought a model that, like, the store might have opened it and said, oh, this is how you do it. Like, they might have tested it and opened it for him. I don't know.

[Co-host 1]

You should definitely follow up with your brother.

[Julie (Caller)]

I'm not worried about that. I'm just, like, on pins and needles, like, waiting for my email.

[Co-host 1]

Well, the only other thing is, I was thinking if he did any sort of product registration, like, if he has to go in and put in, like, the. You know, it's not a VIN number because that's on an automobile.

[Host]

No, but, like, you have to. Sometimes you have to type in username and organization name and all that stuff, right? Like, what if he typed it in? And let's say your boyfriend's name is Matt, but he used Matthew. But, like, for whatever reason, whenever I register for something, I use Jeffrey.

[Co-host 1]

He knows how to put in spyware. I'm sure he can figure out how

[Julie (Caller)]

to get out of a nerd.

[Host]

I wonder if he can figure out, if we can, how to tell if that girl who went to Virginia is lying.

[Co-host 1]

I can say that.

[Host]

Hey, so listen, you're gonna.

[Co-host 1]

No spyware needed. Yeah, no spyware needed on that one.

[Host]

We have all of your information, Julie, so we're gonna. Tracy's gonna follow up with you every couple days about the emails that you get or the spyware or whatever, and just keep us posted as to anything that comes in and what it says. We would love to follow along.

[Julie (Caller)]

Okay, cool.

[Host]

Sound cool.

[Julie (Caller)]

That sounds good.

[Host]

All right. Thanks for being on hold so long. We had no idea that the Virginia story was going to go to crap like that.

[Julie (Caller)]

It's okay. It was interesting.

[Co-host 1]

Just to let you know, I've had my email up and I haven't received a picture yet. Just letting you know.

[Commercial Voice]

Get it.

[Announcer]

The bird show.

[Commercial Voice]

Forget whatever plans you have this weekend because you're staying at home and playing on spinquest. And there's never been a better time to sign up than right now. New users get $30 coin packs for just $10. All the table games you love with hundreds of slot games and real cash prizes. That's at spinquest.com S P-I-N Q U-E-T.com

[Host]

Spin Quest is a free to play

[Announcer]

social casino void where prohibited.

[Host]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Announcer]

Pros Save more on the materials you need to get the job done inside and out at Lowe's right now get 10 off in stock Trex Naturals decking now available styles plus get 15% off select custom entry, interior and storm doors. Then we'll deliver it all straight to your job site to help keep your jobs moving. Get the brand's pros trust priced right and ready when you need them. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. During Memorial Day at Lowe's Shop Household must haves for less save $80 on a char broil performance series four burner grill to chef up something special plus get up to 45% off select major Applian is to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's Lowe's we help you save valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.