Vault: She is obsessed with AS SEEN ON TV products

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She is obsessed with AS SEEN ON TV products

Date: July 22, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and Cast

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a cast member's hilarious fixation with "As Seen On TV" products. The team dives into personal stories of impulsive buying, infomercials' irresistible allure, and whether these quirky products actually deliver. Along the way, they swap anecdotes about odd gadgets, failed purchases, and the psychology behind these TV pitches—with plenty of laughter and good-natured teasing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Obsession with “As Seen On TV” Products

• Confession by a Cast Member:
  • “I am obsessed with as seen on TV products. ... I have a bump it. I have one of those pet eggs. I bought one of those ab belts, you know, you put around your abs.” (C, 00:46)
• Peer pressure and trends drove some of these early purchases, especially as a middle schooler:
  • “You didn't do anything with it. I mean, it just was cool to own it.” (C, 01:22)

2. The Infomercial Trap

• Saturday Morning Rituals:
  • A cast member talks about waking up early and getting sucked into watching lengthy infomercials for products like kitchen choppers—even when not needing them:
    • “I always watch these infomercials, usually it's for, like, the chopper, which I'm obsessed with now. I got the chopper.” (C, 01:50)
• Description of The Chopper:
  • “The chopper is just something ... you can use it in your kitchen, and it just chops like fruits, vegetables... It makes like ingredients really easy to put stuff in the oven.” (C, 02:17)
  • Other cast members chime in about the downsides:
    • “It's fine, but it's loud. It's not like, thick ink. It's like, wham. Like you're trying to, like, drive a nail.” (E, 02:39)

3. Almost Buying a “Weed Thrasher” Without Owning a Yard

• Full Buy-In on the Sales Pitch:
  • The cast shares the hilarious escalation: despite not having a weed eater, or even a yard, a cast member was minutes away from buying a "Weed Thrasher" attachment:
    • “I don't even have the product that I need to attach this ... But I came within maybe 5.5 minutes ... At 59 minutes, I was about to call and buy this product. It was an attachment for your weed eater. So it is called the Weed Thrasher.” (C, 03:06-03:42)
  • “No, I don't have a weed whacker, but I literally had my phone in my hands. Gonna call, because this product can change your life.” (C, 03:57)
  • Fantasizing about using it around the apartment complex:
    • “I was like, maybe I could just use it around the apartment complex, like, trim up everything around the pool ...” (C, 03:57)

4. The Art of Infomercial Selling

• Behind-the-Scenes of Infomercial Hosts:
  • “...a girl ... used to drive to St. Pete, because I think that's where a lot of these infomercials are filmed. She was making $1,000 an hour ... $1,000 an hour to be one of those people that sells that stuff on QVC.” (D, 04:15-04:37)
• Admitting Defeat:
  • “They do an amazing job because I almost bought a weed thrasher for a yard that I don't own...” (C, 04:41)

5. Products That Actually Work

• Surprising Successes:
  • Green bags to keep produce fresh:
    • “Like those green bags that, like, keep your produce for longer. ... They totally work. Yeah, they keep your produce lasting longer.” (F, 05:15-05:22)
  • The “Perfect Brownie” pan gets a nod:
    • “Producer Tracy got me the perfect brownie for Christmas.” (F, 05:22)
    • “Oh yeah, that thing's badass.” (E, 05:29)
    • “Yes, it works great.” (F, 05:30)

6. Jokes About Brownies, Weeds, and Growing Plants Inside

• Playful Banter:
  • “Melissa's giving us her attention. We're talking about weed and brownies in the same house.” (E, 05:38)
  • Cast keeps the jokes rolling about growing “plants” indoors and combining weed and brownie themes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Confession of Impulsive Buying:
  • “I don't even have a weed whacker, but I literally had my phone in my hands. Gonna call because this product can change your life.” (C, 03:57)
• On Infomercial Effectiveness:
  • “Those guys are so good at that.” (D, 04:15)
• Cast Reaction to Brownie Gadgets:
  • “Oh yeah, that thing's badass. Does that work?” (E, 05:29)
  • “Yes, it works great.” (F, 05:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:46-01:22: Early obsessions and peer pressure with as-seen-on-TV products
• 01:50-02:48: Kitchen gadgets and infomercial traps; the infamous chopper
• 03:06-04:41: Near-purchase of “Weed Thrasher” despite not having a yard or weed whacker
• 04:15-04:37: The surprising riches of infomercial hosts
• 05:14-05:30: As-seen-on-TV products that actually work (Green bags, Perfect Brownie)
• 05:35-05:52: Weed and brownie jokes wrap up the content

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

Upbeat, self-deprecating, and relatable. The team shares a collective laugh about the universal temptation of infomercials and the “As Seen On TV” aisle. They admit that sometimes the silliest purchases make the best stories—even if you have to buy a weed whacker you’ll never use.

For listeners:

• You’re not alone in your guilty gadget purchases.
• Infomercials work—even on people who know better.
• Sometimes these products do deliver—at least enough to keep tuning in (and laughing).

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

show so I am obsessed with as seen on TV products. I mean, I have been in the store many times. I have a bump it. I have one of those pet eggs. I bought one of those ab belts, you know, you put around your abs. Because I thought I'd get abs easier.

[D]

The little shocky thing was.

[C]

Well, I had that in middle school. No, there was another one.

[D]

Middle school?

[E]

Yeah, middle school.

[D]

You're trapping one of those, like little.

[C]

It was peer pressure back in the day. Like everybody had one.

[D]

Who doesn't have abs in middle school?

[C]

Well, no, everyone just had one. I don't know.

[E]

It was just a middle schooler with a six pack is a weird look.

[C]

You didn't do anything with it. I mean, it just was cool to own it. So I just owned one in middle school because I thought it was neat. No, they have now an ab belt that makes you sweat pretty much. It's a big heating pad.

[F]

Vibrate it like jiggles the abs away.

[C]

You literally put it on and make sure. Yeah, makes your. Your stomach sweat.

[D]

I've seen the one that like makes your stomach abs supposed to like convulse and it's supposed to be equivalent to like a workout, but.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Anybody I've ever talked to that spent the 30 bucks on it said it's a total waste.

[C]

Yeah, no, it doesn't really do anything. You just sit there with a heating pad on your stomach and it makes you sweat and it doesn't do anything but 15 minutes a you're supposed to have amazing abs. Never saw those results, but obsessed with the store. So the other weekend, I wake up early, I'm bored. It's like 7 in the morning, which the only thing on TV really is like infomercials, right? So I always watch these infomercials usually it's for, like, the chopper, which I'm obsessed with now. I got the chopper.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

What is the chopper?

[C]

The chopper is just something you can use. You can use it in your kitchen, and it just chops, like, fruits, vegetables. It can make Shakespeare. And it makes, like, ingredients really easy to, like, put stuff in the oven. And it takes, like, five minutes also. Do you have anybody?

[E]

It's also like a knife.

[C]

No, it's different. It's different. It chops really fast, and it's.

[E]

Is this the slap chop thing? Yeah, we have that.

[C]

It didn't work.

[E]

It's fine, but it's loud. It's not like, thick ink. It's like, wham. Like you're trying to, like, drive a nail.

[D]

Your ears hurt after you use it all, man.

[E]

It's loud.

[C]

Well, they make it seem like it's really easy. And I think that's the point of infomercials. It makes it. The product appealing, and it's amazing. Well, I live in an apartment complex. I don't have a yard. I don't have any plants that I grow. I don't have any of that. So I turn on the tv.

[D]

I think we were all in college, and we know that you can grow plants inside.

[C]

Come on now, Wendy. You can be horticulturist. I don't have any plants right now. No, I'm not growing anything. There's nothing to mow. I don't have any of that. So I turn on this infomercial, and I don't even have the product that I need to attach this other product to. But I came within maybe 5.5minutes. Like, the commercial was probably an hour long. I watched it the entire hour. At 59 minutes, I was about to call and buy this product. It was an attachment for your weed eater. So it is called the Weed Thrasher. And so much so I actually printed it out while the infomercial was running.

[D]

So is it just longer blades on it or something? I mean, eventually it's gonna hit you in the shin, right?

[C]

No. There's 12 quick change cutters on this bad boy.

[E]

For what?

[C]

It just cuts your weeds better. I don't know what the appeal was.

[D]

You don't even have a y. I

[C]

don't have a yard.

[F]

I don't even have a weed whacker.

[C]

No, I don't have a weed whacker, but I literally had my phone in my hands. Gonna call, because this product can change your life. It can make your yard amazing. I was like, maybe I could just use it around the apartment complex, like, trim up everything around. Around the pool. I was like, I don't know. But this thing looks so amazing because the guy on there just selling it to me.

[D]

Those guys are so good at that. I talked to somebody this weekend at Tin Lizzies that was going out with a girl a couple of months ago that used to drive to St. Pete, because I think that's where a lot of these infomercials are filmed. She was making $1,000 an hour to do that. She was working like 12 hours making a. They get $1,000 an hour to be one of those people that sells that stuff on qvc.

[F]

Like on qvc. Right.

[B]

Thousand dollars an hour.

[C]

Well, they do an amazing job because I almost bought a weed thrasher for a yard that I don't own and was just going to do yard work for people for fun just so I can have this 12 cutter stick set that I had to put on a weed eater. So then I'd have to buy a weed eater and the cutters at the same time.

[E]

How much does it cost?

[C]

Oh, I don't know. Oh, it doesn't have the price on here. Of course it doesn't, because it's not even a payment.

[D]

When you want something that is so perfect for you, price is not.

[E]

Whatever it costs, I will buy it for you and a weed eater. If you just take care of my yard for the summer.

[F]

I will say that some of those things that you order on TV do work really great.

[D]

Like what?

[F]

Like those green bags that, like, keep your produce for longer. Have y' all seen those as well?

[C]

Do they work? Yes, they do it.

[F]

They totally work. Yeah, they keep your produce lasting longer. And then producer Tracy got me the perfect brownie for Christmas.

[E]

Oh, yeah, that thing's badass. Does that work?

[F]

Awesome. Yes, it works great.

[D]

She got your attention. Now we have.

[F]

Yes.

[D]

Like, oh, brownies.

[F]

Yes, but you want the perfect brownie, right?

[E]

Of course. Melissa's giving us her attention. We're talking about weed and brownies in the same house.

[A]

True.

[E]

That's right.

[C]

Going back to the fact that, yes, you can grow a plant in the closet and have the perfect brownie all in the same house. I might weed Brady

[A]

the Bird show

[G]

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[A]

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[B]

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