Vault: She Just BUSTED Her Bestie With Her Ex-Husband!

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Just BUSTED Her Bestie With Her Ex-Husband!

Date: March 30, 2026
Main Cast: Bert (host), Amber (caller/guest), Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Ellen, Jennifer, Fiona, Ryan
Main Theme:
This episode dives into a dramatic listener dilemma: Amber discovers her best friend is secretly dating her ex-husband. The Bert Show team unpacks the emotional fallout, trust, friendship boundaries, and strategizes next steps with Amber, offering raw, humorous, and empathetic guidance.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Amber, who calls in to seek advice after uncovering that her long-time best friend is romantically involved with her ex-husband. The conversation explores betrayal, emotional reactions, and what to do when confronted with this kind of double-cross from two of the closest people in one's life. The Bert Show team, along with callers, provide both practical and emotional support, sharing a variety of perspectives on forgiveness, closure, and self-respect.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Amber's Discovery & Backstory

• Amber's Friendship & Marriage:
  • Amber has been best friends with her confidante since high school — close enough that the friend was in her wedding ([01:38]).
  • Married for around six or seven years before a recent, “typical cliché, nasty divorce” ([01:45]).
  • During the divorce, Amber leaned on her best friend for support and was given her friend’s Facebook login ([01:41]).
• The Suspicion:
  • Amber noticed her ex-husband remained friends with her best friend on Facebook, which felt “a little weird” ([01:49]).
• Investigation via Facebook:
  • Amber checked her ex’s activities through her friend’s Facebook login, admitting it was “a little addicting and a little unhealthy” ([02:40]).

2. The Bombshell: Finding Out

• The Chat Message:
  • While preparing for a trip to visit her best friend in Phoenix, Amber, still secretly using the account, read an instant message from her ex confirming a date that evening—before she was supposed to land ([03:51]).
  • She discovers chat messages filled with “XOXO, winks, and smiley faces,” confirming their romantic involvement ([04:19]).
  • Key Quote:
    Amber: “I want to bust them on their date because it said where to meet and had XOXO and wink and smiley faces.” ([03:51])

3. The Evidence

• Romantic and Physical Relationship:
  • Amber finds email and chat history indicating the relationship began soon after her own split, including her ex meeting the best friend’s family and references to having spent the holidays together ([06:00]).
  • Key Quote:
    Amber: “Can we do it exactly what we did last night again tonight? Smiley face, heart, smiley face.” ([06:09])
• The cast confirms that Amber isn’t misinterpreting — the digital paper trail is clear.

4. What Should Amber Do?

• Immediate Plan:
  • Amber secretly changes her flight to arrive hours earlier, planning to “bust them” in person ([04:36]).
  • She never confronted her friend prior, though occasionally asked about seeing her ex; the friend repeatedly denied any contact ([04:56]).
• Advice from the Cast:
  • Book a hotel, don’t stay at your friend’s; consider flying back to Atlanta immediately after the confrontation ([06:49]).
  • Do you even need to confront in person? Maybe just cancel and move on ([06:58], [07:08]).
• On Needing 'Closure':
  • Many cast members acknowledge Amber’s desire to see it “with her own eyes” as psychological closure.
  • Key Quote:
    Host: “You need to see it with your own eyes… if you see it, then it’s 100%.” ([07:08])

5. Callers’ Perspectives

• Caller Marcia's Story:
  • Shares a similar experience: her close friend and ex-husband began secretly dating after her divorce ([07:50]).
  • Her take: “It’s none of your freaking business… bless you both.” ([08:12])
• Cast Debates Forgiveness:
  • Some admire the ability to “bless and release” ([08:35]).
  • Others question its authenticity and admit they would instead cut both people off ([08:46], [09:15]).

6. Emotional Fallout & Planning

• Amber's Feelings:
  • Overcome by anger, Amber wants a face-to-face confrontation ([09:56]).
  • She acknowledges the advice for an “exit strategy” and plans not to stay at her friend’s home ([09:09]).
• Support Suggestions:
  • Have a backup person to call for emotional support immediately after ([10:20]).
  • Don’t get stranded where the event happens; have a plan to leave quickly.

7. Closing Thoughts

• Permission to Sever Ties:
  • The hosts ultimately encourage Amber to get the closure she seeks and then move on, cutting ties with both ([09:27], [10:05]).
• Amber's Resolution:
  • She’s determined:
    Amber: “Oh, I’m definitely going. I just—I need… I’m in shock.” ([10:49])
• Cast Predicts an Explosive Confrontation:
  • The team is confident Amber will follow through and asks her to report back ([10:58]).
  • Humorous moment: “I’ll fly up to Vegas”—“Vegas is built for situations!” ([11:13]–[11:20]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I just don’t think best friend can date the ex-husband in any circumstance at all. If you guys are truly best friends…” —Host ([01:15])
• “Of course it’s a little addicting and a little unhealthy.” —Amber, on monitoring her ex via Facebook ([02:41])
• “You’re looking at who he’s dating, friends with, and pictures… the new ads. Exactly.” —Fiona & Amber ([02:32]–[02:38])
• “Didn’t you hear? … So a chat popped up, confirming a date with your ex-husband before you’re supposed to land.” —Fiona ([04:20]–[04:25])
• “I want her to look me in the eyes.” —Amber ([09:56])
• “Let these people go and cut them out of your life. After whatever confrontation… you just need an exit plan.” —Jennifer ([07:27])
• “If you see it with your own eyes… then it’s 100%.” —Host ([07:08])
• Marcia (caller): “Bless you both. If you can make this work, then bless you both.” ([08:12])

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• The Discovery & Set-Up – [01:38] to [03:51]
• Uncovering the Romantic Relationship – [03:51] to [06:21]
• Confrontation Planning & Emotional Discussion – [06:21] to [08:46]
• Caller Marcia’s Forgiveness Perspective – [07:50] to [08:46]
• Support Strategies, Emotional Fallout, and Wrap-Up – [09:11] to [11:15]
• Amber’s Resolution & Cast Reactions – [10:49] to [11:15]

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Final Thoughts

The episode masterfully balances empathy and realism as Amber faces the ultimate betrayal. The Bert Show team, in their trademark candid and supportive style, coaches Amber through her decision, highlighting the universal themes of trust, closure, and the sometimes-painful boundaries of friendship. The segment delivers a mix of tough love, advice, and camaraderie — making even listeners who’ve never faced this scenario feel invested, validated, and entertained.

Transcript

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[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

The first show. Morning, Amber.

[Amber]

Hey, good morning.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

How are you today?

[Amber]

I'm a little angry, but that's okay. Well, I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Well, first opinion, without hearing the entire story judging, I guess, is that I just don't think best friend can date the ex husband in any circumstance at all. If you guys are truly best friends, one would think.

[Amber]

But then I had discovered all this stuff and it really freaked me out. So I'm just trying to figure out how this all unfolded.

[Ellen]

Well, Bert talked about best friend. So how long has your best friend been your best friend?

[Amber]

Oh, we've been best friends since high school. In fact, she was in my wedding.

[Ellen]

Oh, all right. And then how long were you married to your husband?

[Amber]

I think about six or seven years. Okay, here's the deal. We were living in Phoenix, and about a year ago, I got, you know, I was getting divorced, and it was typical cliche, nasty divorce. As we were getting divorced, I would obviously go over to my best friend's house to be comforted, et cetera, et cetera. And she gave me her login information to get into Facebook because I never had a Facebook page. And I thought it was interesting that even though he and I were still going through this nasty divorce, he was still a friend on her Facebook page. Does that make sense? It was like, a little weird. So I eventually had moved to Atlanta, which is awesome. And I would still check up using her login page on my husband.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Okay.

[Fiona]

You're looking at who he's dating and friends with and pictures and vacations.

[Amber]

The new ads. Exactly.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Relationship status.

[Amber]

Yeah, and of course it's a little addicting and a little unhealthy.

[Jennifer]

That's not so good.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

What? Facebook or just being on somebody else's.

[Jennifer]

Well, just following your ex husband's life, period, when you see your ex husband for a reason.

[Amber]

Right, right. But whatever. I had these suspicions always that he wasn't, you know, very truthful to me. And so it's interesting to see I've caught him in like a few little lies through even things I found on his Facebook page.

[Fiona]

But he's your ex husband, so that's irrelevant.

[Amber]

Yeah, but I'm talking about even things that had happened while we were married. Okay, the references. So about six months ago, my best friend asked me if I'm still doing it. And I said no, not, of course not. But I still was using her Facebook page. So I'm scheduled to fly out tonight to go to Phoenix to see her. And I'm supposed to get in about 8:30. And just for fun, still using her Facebook page. And as I'm there checking his stuff out, an ichat pops up from him.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

So he thinks he's chatting with your best friend at this point. Yeah, because you're using her account on

[Amber]

her and it pops up. Hey, what are you doing? And I could see some of the history of their messages back and forth. And one of them was confirming a date for tonight. Oh, and I land tonight. Like I'm supposed to land about 8:15. What she doesn't know is I changed my flight to land like 2:30 and I want to bust them on their date because it said where to meet and had XOXO and wink and. And smiley faces.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Hold on one second. What?

[Fiona]

Didn't you hear?

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Am I missing something now? You're going out there to visit your friend.

[Amber]

I'm going out to see her.

[Fiona]

So a chat popped up, confirming a date with your ex husband before you're supposed to land.

[Ellen]

Yeah, so she was gonna go with her ex husband before she picks her up from the airport.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I got it. So.

[Ellen]

So she changed her flight to get there early so that she could be there and then bus them during their dinner.

[Amber]

Okay, all right, I got you never said anything. And once in a while I'll say to her, I'm like, oh, have you seen Brandon lately? And you know, and she'll be like, no, no, no, not at all. And he's such a dirt bag. And after what he did to you.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

So no indication at all from her that they've had any interaction?

[Ryan]

Zero.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

When you're looking at the history of these messages together, is it clear that they've been seeing each other and that this meeting tonight is really like a romantic date?

[Amber]

It's crystal clear. Because it's not like, oh, this is interesting or whatever. Like, there's an email history in her inbox. Like, I went to her inbox. I can see how it started. To me, what that says is, like, when you first start dating someone, you keep all of their messages, like their voicemail messages, their emails. And she has everything. She has the entire history from the time right after I left, shortly after that.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Here's what I'm trying to get at, though. I want specifics on what those instant messages and some of those emails said, because you've already proven that you're a little psycho when it comes to your ex husband anyway. So I'm wondering if there's anything in these emails or instant messages that might be innocent enough but you're interpreting as an affair because you're just not thinking clearly. Because the players are who they are,

[Fiona]

but they have a date tonight.

[Amber]

No, they spent the holidays together.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Oh, okay.

[Amber]

And because there was references where he wrote, it was nice meeting your family. And then there's another one that said, oh, forget exactly how it was worded, but can we do it exactly what we did last night again tonight? Smiley face, heart, smiley face.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

So this is a relationship, both emotional and physical at this point.

[Jennifer]

All right, so my question is, have you walked yourself through how this is all gonna go down when you get there and you bust them? Like, what you're gonna say, what you're gonna do afterwards, and how you're gonna turn around and leave again?

[Fiona]

Yeah, well, I don't even.

[Jennifer]

You need to rebook a flight, like, later tonight to come back home because you don't need to be stuck in Phoenix after this disaster happens and you're completely an emotional wreck, and then you're left, what, standing there, staying at your best friend's place?

[Amber]

I'm not gonna go back to her place. I'm gonna get a hotel room. I'll call.

[Ellen]

No, I agree with Jen. You gotta come back to Atlanta. I don't think you sit there.

[Fiona]

I don't even think you need to go. I think you just call your friend and go, hey, look, I know you have a date tonight and you're obviously busy, so I'M not gonna come visit. Click save the ticket, go to some Florida beach or whatever.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

But you know how, like sometimes we've talked about this on there, you need to see it with your own eyes. You know, they could deny, deny, deny, deny, but if you see it with your own eyes, then it's 100%.

[Ellen]

But you know that you see it with your own eyes. It's not gonna stop it. Your best friend is pretty much gone. I mean, I agree with Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

It's already gone.

[Ellen]

It's your ex best friend and your ex husband.

[Jennifer]

Let these people go and cut them out of your life. After whatever confrontation you wanna have with them or whatever discussion or see it with your own eyes or whatever, you just need the following plan. You know, do you give her back, like a scrapbook of your friendship and be like, here you go, it's all yours. I don't want this anymore. Turn around, get in the cabin, go to the airport. Like you need a plan, an exit plan.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Good morning, Marcia. You're part of the Burke show. Hi.

[Caller (unnamed)]

I just want to share that after my divorce of 14 years, I consoled my. With my very, very, very, very dear friend. And she was very sweet and listened to all of my problems. And I did not know until much later was also consoling my ex husband. And they started dating and they kept it a secret. The bottom line is it's none of your freaking business. These are grown adults and they can do what they want. And all I can say is that people have different relationships, people work differently together. And after I found out, I told them, bless you both. If you can make this work, then bless you both.

[Jennifer]

She's a bigger person. To be able to forgive and let go like that.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I couldn't do that.

[Jennifer]

That's really, really amazing.

[Ellen]

I know it, it sounds that way, but I just. I think people talk themselves into thinking they're that way. I think it's very difficult for a person to actually, actually do.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

It's probably healthy. I mean, if you can do it, I'm sure it's very healthy for you to go. That was part of the past. I'm gonna cleanse. I'm gonna be the bigger person. But I think there are very few people that can actually do that.

[Ellen]

Very few.

[Jennifer]

I have one really good friend of mine who is so forgiving. She would honestly be the only person I know that would actually be able to do that and let it go and really, truly in her heart be forgiving and truly want the best for them.

[Ellen]

I don't admire That I gotta be honest with you.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I do too.

[Jennifer]

I do.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I do too.

[Ellen]

I don't.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I think if it's me and I find myself in this situation, I'm doing exactly what you're doing. I gotta go see it with my own eyes. And then when I do see it, that's it. I sever both relationships. They never have.

[Fiona]

Even though you read about it clearly an exchange between the two of them, you still need to look at it.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

I think I'd have to see it.

[Amber]

And I think most women would. Closure.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

By the way, I'm not a woman.

[Amber]

You're my best girlfriend.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

What an honor.

[Jennifer]

No, I think most women would.

[Amber]

I mean, it's the whole closure thing. I know when you're nice to finally

[Jennifer]

have closure about it. What's her name?

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Her name is Amber.

[Jennifer]

Hey, Amber, Are you listening to any of this? Is this like computing with you?

[Amber]

It's not. I just am still seeing red right now because I'm so angry and I have gotten. I want her to look me in the eyes.

[Fiona]

This is why women need to.

[Ellen]

Well, I agree with Wendy. It's closure because you get mad enough to where you can walk away. Because for a lot of women it takes you going to the edge to be able to finally cut it loose. But I so agree with Jen about booking an exit flight. Cannot stay in Phoenix tonight.

[Jennifer]

And do you have any close girlfriends who are your actual friends that can know your plan and know what you're doing or your mom maybe, or like somebody and you need a go to person to call somebody in your life that you can depend on or just somebody should be on the phone with

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

somebody just to emotionally lean on after that because that's going to be a pretty strong night right there. Well, Amber, let's talk to you either tomorrow if you're back here, or on Monday and find out if you actually went or you stayed or you saw it with your own eyes and how they all handled it? Okay.

[Amber]

Oh, I'm definitely going. And I'm. I'm going to. I'm going to walk in. I just. I just, I need. I can't. I'm in shock, so.

[Ellen]

Sorry.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

Yeah, for whatever reason, sometimes we have people on here and I don't believe they're going to actually do what they tell us they're going to do. So you have the fire in your voice. I think it's gonna happen.

[Amber]

All right. I'll definitely keep you guys posted.

[Jennifer]

Thanks.

[Amber]

But I. I like your exit strategy. Like have a plan because I didn't have a plan.

[Ellen]

I'll fly up to Vegas.

[Host (possibly Bob Garfield)]

There you go.

[Fiona]

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