Vault: She Lied About Her Career and Might Get Exposed

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Episode: Vault: She Lied About Her Career and Might Get Exposed
Date: May 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show crew dives into a listener's dilemma: after moving to New Jersey and feeling pressure to fit into her new church’s women’s group, "Betsy" (a pseudonym) lied about owning a marketing/PR firm. Now, faced with being asked to offer her “expertise” for a nonprofit, she's desperate for advice before being found out. The team and audience weigh in with both practical tips and comedic banter, exploring the challenges of social pressure, white lies, and personal integrity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Scene: Betsy's Lie Unravels

• [00:32] - [02:42]
  • Betsy, feeling intimidated by her accomplished peers, lies about being the owner of a marketing/PR firm.
  • Now, two women from her church group ask her to help with marketing for their nonprofit, and Betsy is panicking.
  • Quote:
    • “I told them I owned my own marketing PR firm. I know nothing about marketing or PR.” (Betsy’s email as read by the hosts — 01:09)

The Hosts Debate: How Deep Should the Lie Go?

• [02:42] - [03:48]
  • Suggestion: Call in sick ("flu, flu, flu!") to stall—but that's only a temporary fix.
  • Idea: Recruit an actual marketing expert, either in person or via conference call, to act as her "business partner."
  • Quote:
    • “We need to find her a real marketing person to come in as her quote-unquote business partner.” (Host — 03:06)

Morality Check: When Is It Okay to Help a Lie?

• [03:48] - [04:44]
  • The group revisits similar past dilemmas, debating if helping Betsy’s lie is justified since it’s for a nonprofit.
  • Quote:
    • “Somehow I'm more sympathetic to her. Because she just wanted to fit in. She just wanted to be cool.” (Host — 04:17)

Can You "BS" Your Way through Marketing?

• [04:44] - [06:13]
  • Jokingly, hosts suggest using marketing buzzwords (“grassroots,” “demographic,” “target audience”) and basic strategies (postcards, phrase-dropping).
  • Quote:
    • "You go in and you go: Listen, what we need to do is find some grassroots, gorilla marketing type stuff. Booyah! Keywords make you sound smart." (Host — 05:31)
  • They challenge each other: could anyone actually “BS” their way through marketing, especially for a nonprofit that “has no budget”?

Listeners and Call-ins: Real Marketers Weigh In

• [06:19] - [14:00]
  • Several listeners call with advice:
    • Use online resources to fake expertise quickly (“Shortcuts online about promoting nonprofit organizations.” — 06:24).
    • Express that making up stories to fit in is common, but dangerous when it snowballs into responsibilities.
    • Reminder: some nonprofits do have sizable marketing budgets.
    • Suggest "discovery meeting" strategy: ask questions, listen, and use buzzwords like “goals and objectives.”
    • Volunteer real help, with listeners offering to actually join the meeting as Betsy's "associate."
    • Quote:
      • “I would start the meeting with more of a discovery meeting, where you ask a lot of questions and just listen...” (Stan, experienced marketer — 12:32)

Final Choices: Come Clean or Keep Spinning?

• [14:06] - [16:15]
  • Hosts consider whether Betsy should confess or keep going deeper:
    • Suggest making up a story about her company “going under.”
    • Joke about more dramatic escapes: “amnesia,” “evil twin,” or switching churches/denominations.
    • Quote:
      • “She could just say to these women, look, you know, I really wanted to fit in. I really screwed up...” (Kathy, caller — 15:01)
  • Hosts laugh off the idea of honesty but acknowledge Betsy is setting herself up for more trouble if she keeps lying.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

[01:09] (Betsy, via email):

“I told them I owned my own marketing PR firm. I know nothing about marketing or PR.”

[04:17] (Host):

“Somehow I'm more sympathetic to her. Because she just wanted to fit in. She just wanted to be cool.”

[05:31] (Host):

“You go in and you go: Listen, what we need to do is find some grassroots, gorilla marketing type stuff. Booyah! Keywords make you sound smart.”

[06:24] (Listener):

“She should go online and figure something out. Because they have shortcuts online about promoting nonprofit organizations.”

[12:32] (Stan — professional marketer):

“I would start the meeting with more of a discovery meeting, where you ask a lot of questions and just listen and find out what their problems are...”

[15:01] (Kathy, caller):

“She could just say to these women, look, you know, I really wanted to fit in. I really screwed up...”

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:32: Introduction of Betsy’s dilemma
• 02:42: Team speculates on ways to help or escape the situation
• 04:44: Debating whether one can fake a career in marketing
• 06:19: First call-ins; real marketers offer advice and perspective
• 12:32: Stan, an experienced marketer, provides professional insight
• 14:06: Team and listeners debate coming clean versus maintaining the fib

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Tone & Vibe

The episode blends humor and empathy. The hosts poke fun at the idea of “BS’ing” through a career but also acknowledge the social anxieties fueling Betsy’s predicament. Listeners join in with both serious and playful solutions, culminating in a laugh-out-loud conversation about the absurdity and relatability of getting "caught" in a white lie.

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In Summary

The Bert Show crew and their audience explore the depths (and dangers) of making up a career to fit in. Should Betsy double down, find a ringer, or come clean? The team’s real talk—and real laughs—highlight the inner conflict between wanting to belong and wanting to be honest, providing comic relief and genuine advice for anyone who’s ever stretched the truth just to fit in.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, listen. Can you hear that? That silence is the sound of a $3,000 vet bill. Because you don't have Lemonade Pet insurance, your dog just snuck away to swallow your phone charger, which will land him at the vet. Thankfully, Lemonade Pet could save you up to 90% on vet bills. And the earlier you sign up, the more it could cover for your puppy or kitten. But in the meantime, if you hear this, you should probably go check on what your puppy is up to. Get a'[e-mail] pet hey, the birch show

[B]

and I screwed up. I didn't have the story exactly right. First of all, the woman's not gonna be on the phone with us. So that was my mistake. I think she was going to and she got nervous. But she did write Tracy a detailed email and she is a big fat liar.

[C]

As a matter of fact, I believe

[B]

the subject line of her email is liar.

[C]

Yes, exclamation point, all caps. But what are we gonna call? Do we have a name that we wanna call her?

[B]

You just make it up. I see Betsy.

[C]

Betsy.

[D]

All right.

[C]

We'll call her Birch show listener Betsy Liar. Betsy.

[B]

Betsy.

[C]

All right. She says, hi, Tracy. Does Birch show give advice to their online listeners? I used to live in Atlanta, was a big Birch show listener until I moved to New Jersey for my husband's job. I wake up early just to listen to you guys online. Thank you. I was hoping you'd be willing to help me out even though I don't live in Atlanta anymore. My problem is that I am about to be caught in a lie that could ruin my entire social life. Since moving here, I've been pretty lonely without any friends. My husband suggested that I joined the women's group at our new church. I thought it was a great idea. And that is exactly what I did. The group is filled with so many women with successful careers. We've got doctors, lawyers, surgeons, small business owners, and a bank president. There are a few women who don't work, but they all stay at home. They are all stay at home moms who left their big careers to raise kids. Now, as for me, not only do I not have a successful career, I have a pretty lame job right now. I am working at a tanning salon for extra cash. I'm working side by side with 18 year old girls. I've never had a, quote, career. I don't even have a college degree. Obviously, I was a bit embarrassed when around all these women, so I told them I owned my own marketing PR firm. I know nothing about marketing or pr.

[E]

That's a big one.

[C]

Yes. And she said this really didn't matter. Until recently, two of the women on the group had been doing some volunteer work for a nonprofit organization. Apparently, this group needs some marketing and pr.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

Oh, no.

[C]

They asked if I'd be willing to offer my expertise for a good cause, and I agreed. I have my first ever business meeting set up for Friday afternoon where I am to offer my advice to these women on what I think they need to do to market their organization. What was I thinking? How do I get out of this? I can't back out and cancel on a nonprofit yet. I know nothing about this stuff. They probably know more than I do. Please help.

[E]

Oh, no.

[C]

Betsy.

[F]

Immediately, I say. Flu, Flu, flu, flu. You got the flu today, but then

[B]

it doesn't go away.

[F]

I know, but she can at least stall them. Let's pone. Try to figure something out.

[B]

And what? Take a marketing class.

[F]

Supposed to be this afternoon.

[E]

Or find that somebody who knows marketing. Get a friend, a college student, something.

[B]

Can't you just BS your way through marketing?

[F]

No, no, no, no, you can't. We need to find her.

[C]

Stop trying to.

[F]

We need to find her a real marketing person to come in as her quote unquote, business partner.

[C]

Well, she's.

[E]

But they need matching T shirts, too.

[B]

Yeah, they need to be dressed alike.

[C]

Yeah, but remember, she's in New Jersey now, and one of the things is she doesn't have friends up there, so she doesn't have anybody that can come in as her partner or her associate.

[B]

But what about someone in Atlanta who could be a marketing partner over the

[C]

phone, like on a conference call?

[B]

Yeah. And then she could say, you know what? I think that's a great idea. But that's really my partner, my associate.

[C]

This is. Her specialty is nonprofit, so I'm gonna

[B]

let her and have her on speakerphone or something. Or like, maybe just take very detailed notes during the meeting and say, I'm gonna run these by and then hire a marketing PR person.

[C]

Now, let me play devil's advocate for a second, because listeners suggested that we help out. Who was it that they wanted us to help in a lie yesterday with? Oh, with the woman who had said that she had been left and cheated on, and that's why she started this relationship. Her boyfriend or soon to be fiance thinks that their. You know, their relationship is based on that. Well, listeners said that we should help her with her lie, and we said, oh, no, we would never do that.

[B]

But this is for a nonprofit.

[F]

Somehow I'm More sympathetic to her.

[B]

To which one? Our girl today?

[C]

Yeah, our email today.

[F]

Because she just wanted to fit in. She just wanted to be cool.

[B]

I just wanted to make a. I

[F]

just wanted to talk about something that I don't know how to talk about.

[B]

But I think. I mean, not. I think that for the most part, there are some professional topics or whatever that can be easily BSed through marketing, and PR is one of them.

[C]

Are you sure?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You're just saying that.

[F]

No, I think you're just saying that to be combative.

[B]

We live in a city of 9,000 marketing and PR people, and most of them went to school for, you know, marketing and pr.

[E]

Marketing, communications.

[B]

Like they. Oh, Jay, all you gotta know is how to sell something.

[C]

I get offended when people, you know, belittle our job.

[B]

Okay, it's not belittling. I'm just saying, give me something to sell.

[F]

Yes, you are belittling.

[E]

How do you market a nonprofit since anybody can do it?

[B]

Well, first of all, you don't have a budget, right? So that's the first thing. How are we gonna do. See, listen, here's how it starts. How are we gonna do this?

[C]

You wanna be her? Why don't you go with Betsy and

[B]

you be her Marketing the minute here'? I know, going into it, it's a nonprofit, which means they don't have money because they're nonprofit.

[F]

Okay?

[B]

So you go in and you go. Listen, what we need to do is find some grassroots gorilla marketing type stuff. Booyah. Keywords make you sound smart. Grassroots gorilla.

[C]

But you have to create that grassroots marketing campaign for them.

[B]

Postcards.

[C]

Postcards.

[B]

You do a postcard that explains what the nonprofit is, and you pass it out in areas where your target demographic content congregate. Then you spin it back on them. Where do you think your target demographic is? Booyah. Demographic, keyword, target, keyword, Boom.

[F]

Why don't you do it?

[C]

Yeah, why don't you do it?

[F]

I think it would actually be really funny to listen to you BS your way through a meeting like that.

[B]

BS my way through my whole life. I can do it.

[D]

No problem.

[C]

Save that.

[B]

Hey, listen, I'm about to BS my way through knowing what this woman's name is. Nydia.

[D]

That's exactly it.

[B]

Booyah. Keyword. How are you?

[D]

I'm good. I have a degree in business, and if she can't find someone to help her through this process, she should go online and figure something out. Because they have shortcuts online about promoting nonprofit organizations. They do things a little differently for tax purposes, and she can find a lot of information quickly online.

[C]

Well, she'll have to do that because the whole point of her being a part of this women's group is to get friends. So she doesn't have, you know, she doesn't have any friends in New Jersey. So she's trying to impress these women.

[F]

She needs to leave her church.

[B]

What if she jacks up the whole thing? Like, what if it's a nonprofit, you know, trying to find a, you know, cure for A, B, and C, and she screws up the whole thing and the nonprofit has to close?

[F]

Oh, well, hey, she'll have to leave the church before that happens.

[B]

Hey, Aaron.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

How are you?

[D]

Good. Good morning.

[C]

Good morning.

[D]

I'm just curious, like, how old is this lady?

[B]

I mean, she's old enough to know better.

[D]

I just say, yeah, why is she so insecure that she feels like she really has to make up this whole, like, elaborate lie that she owns a marketing firm to fit in at a women's group at a church.

[F]

Yeah, but still, I'm sure it was just, like, you know, casual conversation. Like she's thinking she's going to be part of the flower guild and, you know, put up some bouquets every weekend and make some new flowers.

[B]

What's it called, the Junior League? Yeah.

[F]

No, the Flower Guild at church. You know, and then they're all going around like, well, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? And she just spits it out.

[C]

See, she took my kind of lying a little further, because my kind of lying would be if somebody said, hey, Melissa, are you in marketing? I'd be like, yeah, sure.

[E]

You know?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Does it get you away from me and wrap up this conversation? I am indeed.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

So she said she was a marketing pr, but I could see easily when somebody said, hey, can I get your help with your marketing? Sure, yeah. Yeah, that'd be great. I'd be happy to do that. You know, so I can see where she could easily do it, because I

[B]

do it every day, and I don't think I'm with Jay.

[C]

You tell me you do something, and I'm like, yeah, I know about that movie. I know about that song. Sure.

[B]

Listen, Ben's trying to challenge my marketing expertise. What do you got, Ben?

[G]

Hey, Jeff, if you're going to market for a nonprofit, they actually do have giant advertising budgets. They're just not generating money except for the charity. So make sure if you're the specializing person in a nonprofit for marketing, you don't say, well, I know you guys have no money to work with. They probably have a pretty good sized advertising budget.

[B]

No, no, no, no. You don't say that. Ben, Hi.

[E]

Alright, expert.

[B]

Jeff, I've been in marketing now for four minutes.

[F]

I don't think he called you out on that. No, Ben's very smart.

[B]

What you say is, look, this is. You're a nonprofit. You don't want to spend a lot of money. You want to stretch your dollar because you don't have a lot of money.

[F]

That's another key phrase. Yeah, stretch your dollar.

[G]

Normally, nonprofit's advertising campaign is to generate revenue so they have some sort of budget they're going to use to try to generate donations.

[C]

Stretching your dollar is not just a nonprofit.

[B]

Stretching your dollar is the name of my marketing firm. Jeff, get it. Stretching your dollar from stretch your dollar.

[E]

That should be the name of your company.

[B]

It is. It is now. Hey, Lauren, what's going on?

[D]

Hi, I was just calling because I'm a small business owner and I actually have a full time job too, working for two women in Alpharetta and marketing.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I don't know when I heard this. I mean, I thought it was funny because everything you guys say is funny.

[B]

But now let me ask you a question. You work in marketing now I'm assuming your degree is like an associate's degree in restaurant management.

[D]

Actually, no, I have an art education degree.

[C]

Oh, honey.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I love art education, but I just. Yeah. What did you.

[B]

When did you make the leap from watercolors to marketing?

[D]

Well, because I was selling my. Actually, people collect my work over the last 11 years, so I was learning how to market myself the whole time. I helped open a school because of that. I helped raise money for them and then helped do the design of all of the brochures that went out for the school. I just was done with schools. I couldn't handle the politics in school, so I left and I wanted to divulge into marketing because I had done so well at the school and these ladies took a chance on me and they've really been happy with what I've done, so.

[F]

So you can help our listener.

[B]

We're gonna have to put our resumes together. Cause I don't think you, you know, even.

[C]

Would you get your degree in job

[B]

ged.

[D]

I mean, if you think a restaurant manager can do it, then why can't an art education person do it?

[F]

You can totally do it. I'm sure you're excellent at it. Don't buy into what Jeff is saying. I think you could totally help her, especially if you're willing to do, like, a conference call with her?

[D]

Yeah, I could do either. A conference call? It depends on what time I'm actually going into the office right now. But, I mean, she could even call me later, say that she's an associate in Atlanta sometime this afternoon.

[B]

Are you okay with lying? I mean, I know you're in marketing, so for the most part, you are, but come on.

[D]

I don't even feel like I'm lying. I feel like I'm helping a nonprofit. That's the part that I don't like.

[B]

But you're gonna have to lie. What do we decide to call her? Betsy, for our virtual listener? You're gonna have to essentially lie in order to help her, because she's gonna say, this is my partner in my marketing firm, you know, Betsy Boop, pr, Whatever.

[F]

Watercolor marketing.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[E]

It's all for a good cause, though.

[D]

It's all for.

[C]

Oh, my God, you could be her. You could be her consultant. And that's not lying.

[D]

Somebody who worked alongside with her a long time ago. Perfect. And I'm in Atlanta, and I specialize in nonprofit.

[B]

All right, hold on, hold on. We're going to get your information. Okay?

[C]

The nonprofit angle. Is that why we are.

[B]

Okay, you know what?

[E]

Yeah, it's for charity.

[B]

It's a good cause.

[F]

And it's also because it's Friday, anything goes.

[D]

Our.

[B]

Our next caller, his name is Stan. He works in marketing, and for some reason, he has a lot more credibility than anyone else we've talked to about marketing, because Stan is a marketer.

[E]

Is Stan a man?

[B]

Stan, what's going on?

[H]

Hello, Bird show.

[C]

Hey, Stan.

[E]

Hey, Stan.

[H]

I've been in marketing PR for about 25 years, the last six for nonprofits. And these aren't charitable nonprofits. These are, you know, association, trade associations, professional societies, and the other callers.

[G]

Right.

[H]

There's. There's. There's budgets for marketing. It's not that they can't do marketing. It's just that you can't show a profit. A couple two pieces of advice. I would start the meeting with more of a discovery meeting, where you ask a lot of questions and just listen and find out what their problems are, what their communication needs are, what they're. Find out more about their audience. Just be that listener to understand more about the association. You can sit and listen and take notes and, you know, nod your head a lot.

[B]

Yeah. And you don't even have to take because you can remember most of the stuff. So you could be playing mash. You could be doing all sorts of crazy stuff on your notes.

[F]

Online poker, crossword puzzles.

[H]

Just ask them their go know goals and objectives. We've all heard those terms for marketing and for business. Let's talk about your goals. What are your objectives with the organization? What?

[G]

What?

[H]

Let me. Let's talk about your business plan. What kind of things do you want to do?

[B]

Stan, would you. Would you be willing to talk directly to her one on one? Maybe even during this meeting?

[H]

I got to work today, so probably not during the meeting. I'll be working at some same time she is.

[B]

You're in marketing?

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

So just go.

[C]

Don't be disrespectful.

[B]

Just go on a client visit.

[F]

I do like Stan's buzzword of a discovery meeting.

[B]

Sure, that's good. You've got significant amount of credibility because of the keyword and the name. Stan, do you have a mustache?

[H]

No.

[B]

Okay, well, you're still good. Hold on.

[C]

We're gonna get you information now. I mean, I feel better because all the mark marketing people are calling up to support.

[B]

No, not everybody's supporting, but Betsy's eventually

[C]

gonna have to come clean. I mean, she can't.

[F]

No, she can move.

[C]

She's lying to people.

[E]

She's lying to people in the new church.

[C]

I think she's in charge.

[B]

I think she just needs to go through this and then convince her husband that they need to change religions.

[F]

What kind of church does she go to?

[C]

She doesn't say everything in the email.

[E]

Scientology. She can always find another one.

[F]

She could just switch and become from. She could go from Presbyterian to Methodist and nobody will know.

[B]

Episcopalian.

[F]

Episcopalian, yeah.

[B]

Hey, switch it up. She can just sit at home and watch that TV church that my grandma used to watch. Hey, Kathy.

[E]

I have it online now.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

How are you?

[D]

I'm fine.

[B]

All right, turn your radio down so we can hear you loud and clear and then kill our buzz.

[D]

Okay, I gotcha.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[D]

Okay. I think you guys are going off in the wrong direction. I think we need to go more with the lie. I mean, she's just gonna get in deeper and deeper, and then they're gonna ask her to do other things.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

I mean, I've been in church groups before, and you're just going the wrong way. I mean, she could just say to these. These women, look, you know, I really wanted to fit in. I really screwed up. You know, I don't really have a degree in marketing. You know, I just really think you're really taking her down a really dangerous path.

[B]

So are you proposing? Honesty.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, Kathy, thanks for calling. Yeah, we'll have none of that on

[F]

this show, as evidenced by the past week.

[C]

Yeah, well, why doesn't she just say

[E]

her company went under? She just needs to say her company

[C]

went under, and that doesn't work there now. She's trying to create new friends in this new town, and I do think

[B]

she's starting off on the wrong foot, but that doesn't. If she says her company went under, she still has the experience. I think what she needs is amnesia, like I think she needs to.

[F]

An evil twin, like the soap operas.

[B]

You guys remember Katherine Heigl in the last episode of Grey's Anatomy where she just asked the same questions every three minutes?

[E]

No shit.

[C]

No, I stopped watching that show years ago.

[B]

Next church group, she just needs to start doing that.

[F]

And they'll just think that she has early onset Alzheimer's.

[B]

Right.

[F]

And they'll start their own nonprofit for her.

[B]

Perfect. The Bird Show.