Vault: She Needs Help Finding This Cute Valet Driver

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: She Needs Help Finding This Cute Valet Driver

Date: April 14, 2026
Main Theme:
A listener named Montez shares her missed romantic opportunity with a cute valet driver named Ryan, and the Bert Show team (Bert, Melissa Carter, Bretzky, Jen, and others) brainstorms ways to help her reconnect—with plenty of laughs, playful teasing, and spirited debate about the legitimacy of her predicament.

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Episode Overview

The episode centers on Montez's memorable encounter with a helpful valet named Ryan when her car broke down at a busy Atlanta intersection. Too shy to make a move at the time, Montez now hopes the Bert Show team—and their engaged listenership—can help her track him down in a "Love Lost and Found" bit. The conversation weaves through Montez’s story, the team’s skepticism about her effort, playful banter, and active involvement from listeners who may know the mysterious Ryan.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing "Love Lost & Found"

• [01:36] Melissa Carter explains the premise: The show helps listeners reconnect with someone they regret not exchanging contact info with:

  "Love lost and found is somebody was in a situation in which they think they may have found love, but they lost, and they didn't take the opportunity to get their number or get their contact information."

2. Montez’s Story: The Breakdown and the Meet-Cute

• [02:15] Montez recounts her car mishap on Father's Day at the intersection of Lenox and Piedmont in Buckhead:
  • Out of oil, her car dies; she pulls into a valet lot at the Marsh Building.
  • A sweet valet, possibly named Ryan, helps multiple times as he works, shares he’s a “starving artist”—Montez is also one, being a dancer and entertainer at Six Flags.
  • Despite encouragement from her friend, Montez is too shy to make a move:

    "He was so sweet and I think his name was Ryan. And he told me he was a starving artist, which is me. I'm the same thing. I'm a dancer. So we just had a lot in common...I was too shy to do anything about it." [03:48 – 04:19]

3. Skepticism & Teasing from the Bert Show Team

• [05:31] The team questions why Montez didn't just return to the lot:
  • Bert: "How come between Father's Day and now, you just didn't go back to the valet spot and go, is Ryan here? Can I leave my number for Ryan?" [05:56]
  • Jen offers understanding about the distance and Montez’s shyness:

    "She already told you, she's shy. Stop." [07:02]

  • Bretzky playfully dubs this a “lazy love lost and found”:

    "I love lost and lazy." [06:28]

4. Discussion of Plans and Perspectives

• They float options like sending an intern, having Montez go herself, or involving listeners.
  • [08:30] Bert: “Why don’t we send intern Michelle down to the valet parking lot right now to ask for Ryan and get him on the phone and have him talk to Montez?”
• Jen & Bretzky discuss the show’s usual “proxy wingman” bit:

  "Where we approach the dude and we're like, hey, does anybody from the past week ring a bell with you?...If it's destiny, then he will remember her." [07:27]

5. Listener Engagement & Sleuthing

• [09:00] Chelsea calls in, possibly knowing Ryan, confirming he works at the Marsh Building.
• [11:26] Sarah calls in, her boyfriend works for the valet company, and she believes she knows which Ryan it is.
• [12:03] Melissa Carter probes for details, asking if Ryan is single.

6. Executing the Plan

• [12:08] The team resolves to send Intern Michelle to the Marsh Building valet with a phone number to find Ryan and connect him with Montez.
  • Bert: "We'll try to see if we can find him down there, and if not, we'll leave our phone number, and with any luck at all, he'll call by the end of the morning and we will do your dirty work for you. Okay?" [12:32-12:45]
  • Montez: "Thank you." [12:45]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Montez, on her meet-cute:

  "He was so sweet and he was so nice. And my friend showed up and she was like, 'Montez, this guy is adorable. Why don't you go for it?' And I was like, 'I mean, you're right, but I'm so shy.'" [03:48 – 04:11]

• Bretzky (teasing):

  "I love lost and lazy." [06:28]

• Jen (defending Montez):

  "She already told you, she's shy. Stop." [07:02]

• Bert (summarizing the solution):

  "All she has to do is go there and see us." [10:49]

• Chelsea (listener):

  "Is his name Ryan? He parks my car when I go to the Marsh Building." [09:07]

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:36 | Introduction of Love Lost & Found segment | | 02:15 | Montez shares her full story about meeting Ryan | | 05:26 | Team discusses the valet location details | | 06:28 | Teasing about the legitimacy of the "Lost and Found" situation | | 08:30 | Plan to send an intern to the valet lot | | 09:00 | Listener Chelsea calls with possible lead on Ryan | | 11:26 | Listener Sarah calls in with another lead | | 12:08 | Final plan: Intern dispatched to the Marsh valet to connect with Ryan | | 12:45 | Montez expresses gratitude |

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Recap & Takeaways

• Heart of the episode: A funny, relatable story of a missed connection, with listeners enthusiastically participating and the cast delivering both empathy and comic skepticism.
• Tone: Light, playful, authentic—with regular playful ribbing among the cast members.
• Resolution: The Bert Show commits to helping Montez by sending an intern to the valet to find Ryan and play matchmaker by proxy.
• Listener takeaway: Even small moments can become entertaining sagas with a bit of community spirit (and radio show mischief).

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Transcript

[Bert]

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[Bretzky]

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[Bert]

social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Bird Show I'm Melissa Carter. How does Love Lost and found normally work here?

[Melissa Carter]

Well, you know the lost and found, you just kind of go and check on something or go drop something off. Basically, Love lost and found is somebody was in a situation in which they think they may have found love, but they lost, and they didn't take the opportunity to get their number or get their contact information. So they regret it afterwards. So just come to the Birch Show. We'll put the information out that you know about that person, the situation in which you met. Then our Birch show community will come and, you know, call if they know this person, and then we'll try to match you back up.

[Bert]

So that's what we're hoping to do here with Montez. And I think it has everything to do with her trying to get her car fixed and a dude comes to her rescue and then he splits and she's like, I need to get. I need to get to know that guy. How are you this morning?

[Montez]

I'm great. How are you guys doing?

[Bert]

Good. Did we sort of get that story right?

[Montez]

It's pretty close. Pretty close.

[Bretzky]

How do you know that he's your soulmate?

[Montez]

Well, I mean, I'm not sure about that yet. That's a little quick. But he. Actually, the story is I was going to dinner on Father's Day with one of my friends after work, and my car started sputtering out the middle of Buckhead, Lenox Road and Piedmont about. And I was like, oh, no, I cannot break down on the side of the road. So I pull into a parking lot, which just so happened to be a valet parking lot. As embarrassing as it was, it was 10 times more embarrassing because it was a valet parking lot.

[Bretzky]

Is there anything that will make you feel physically hotter than being at an intersection? Being the first car at an intersection, and all of a sudden your vehicle dies.

[Montez]

That was literally the worst feeling in the whole world. I was so scared. So I just pulled in and I went up to the valet with my car, thinking it was going to die right there. I said, I just need to park my car. I don't know. I'm really sorry. I pulled in here, and he was like, oh, you can pull it right here. He was so sweet. He helped me so much. And in between running and getting people's cars, he would come over and help me with my car, which turned out to kind of have no oil in it.

[Bert]

Kind of no oil.

[Melissa Carter]

She has that oil spit every time I park my car. I don't know what that means.

[Bert]

Yeah, that little light that keeps coming on. What a hassle that is.

[Jen]

Whatever.

[Melissa Carter]

I just put tape on it and forget about it.

[Montez]

You would think there would be a light, but there was not.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Montez]

So he just helped me out, and he was so sweet and he was so nice. And my friend showed up and she was like, montez, this guy is adorable. Why don't you go for it? And I was like, I mean, you're right, but I'm so shy. And I'm just like, I don't know what to do. And he was so sweet, and I think his name was Ryan. And he told me he was a starving artist, which is me. I'm the same thing. I'm a dancer. So we just had a lot in common. I thought, for the very beginning of something, but I don't know. And then I just. I was too shy to do anything about it, and so I just left it at that. And she was just like, montez, really, you should have done something. And I was like, I know. I didn't do anything. And I feel like, what can I do now?

[Bretzky]

What's your dancer name?

[Montez]

What?

[Bretzky]

What's your dancer name?

[Montez]

Not that kind of Dancing.

[Bert]

Come on. Really?

[Jen]

What kind of dancing? Ballet or.

[Montez]

Yes, actually, I have a degree in dance from uga, so I work out at Six Flags as an entertainer and I do dancing, singing, all that kind of stuff.

[Bert]

Okay, so it's legit.

[Melissa Carter]

Very cool.

[Bert]

Let's ask a couple of obvious questions. That valet parking lot. Because we're trying to accumulate as many details as we can, so somebody listening might just. It might trigger something where they go. Okay, I know that lot and I know some people that work there. What was the valet parking lot we're talking about? Where was that?

[Montez]

I remember it was. Okay, it was at the intersection of Lenox and Piedmont and Buckhead. And it was the Marsh Building, I think. Marsh. And it was right on the. Right once you turn on the Piedmont from Linux.

[Bretzky]

Okay, I know right where that is.

[Jen]

Okay, that's like that lane where if you're over in the far right lane, you almost have to go to that office building. Yeah, it messes you up if you get there.

[Bretzky]

Okay, I know it's the Hawaiian restaurant right there. Thank you. Yeah.

[Bert]

Okay. Okay, so here's what we have. Lennox, Piedmont Valet. How come you just didn't go back to the valet spot and ask for Ryan? I mean, you know where he works.

[Montez]

Well, I know that he was gonna be working late, and we went to dinner and we had been working all day, and so we just left. And at that. When I got home, that was when I realized I was like, wait, I've got to change the way I do these things. And I was just like, okay, well, I guess I need the radio to help me out.

[Bert]

No, well, what I'm saying is, I mean, we're talking about. That was Father's Day. So how come between Father's Day and now, you just didn't go back to the valet spot and go, is Ryan here? Can I leave my number for Ryan?

[Bretzky]

Because she wants us to.

[Jen]

Don't discourage her from contacting us.

[Bretzky]

She wants us to do her dirty work.

[Jen]

We could do it and maybe be less embarrassing, but this really isn't a

[Bert]

love lost and found. All she has to do is go to the valet spot and there's Ryan.

[Montez]

I do live kind of far away from there. I live in Woodstock, so I don't really go by there very much.

[Jen]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Bert]

So it's a lazy love lost and found.

[Bretzky]

I love lost and lazy.

[Jen]

Like, if he's not there, then you have to valet your car, because you can't just pull into a valet parking lot.

[Bretzky]

And sure, she could be like, I'm going to see the Marshes. I'm here for the Marsh Building. I've got an appointment with Mr. Marsh.

[Jen]

It's a lot of miles.

[Bert]

I mean, the reason. I mean, we'll go ahead and we'll try to do it, but the reason to execute this is because it's somebody that you can't find when all you gotta do is drive down there. Hold on.

[Bretzky]

You know what? Yeah, you're being burnt. You know what? Your pessimism, it's really just happy destiny.

[Jen]

I see what you're saying.

[Bert]

She can do it herself.

[Jen]

No, she can't. It's far. Drive. If he's not working, then you have to do it two times or three times. And it's embarrassing. She would have to be face to face with those other valet people. She already told you, she's shy. Stop.

[Bretzky]

You gotta. Listen, Bert, you just need to switch your panties, take off your love lost and pound panties and put on your. I forget what the bit's called, but it's where we approach.

[Jen]

Wear her wing by proxy. Yes.

[Bretzky]

Where we approach the dude and we're like, hey, does anybody from the past week ring a bell with you? Somebody that maybe you had a connection with? Somebody that you feel strongly about? And we just hear what he says. Because if it's destiny, right, Put on your destiny panties. If it's destiny, then he will remember her.

[Jen]

That's too complicated. I just want to find him and set him up.

[Bert]

I've already found him. I know exactly where he is. I know exactly where he works. Yeah, he works at the Marsh Building on the corner of Lennox and P5.

[Chelsea]

Oh, no.

[Bretzky]

We're going to help her out.

[Jen]

What does he look like?

[Montez]

Well, he had.

[Jen]

Hang on.

[Bretzky]

If you give me a half hour, I'll tell you.

[Montez]

And he was pretty fit and he was just really, really cute. His name was Ryan.

[Jen]

How tall?

[Bretzky]

He's wearing an Amer park shirt with a name tag that says Ryan on it.

[Jen]

How tall?

[Montez]

I would say about. He wasn't that tall. He was probably about maybe under six feet or six feet.

[Bretzky]

So why. Pointless interrogation ever.

[Bert]

Why don't we just. Why don't we send intern Michelle down to the valet parking lot right now to ask for Ryan and get him on the phone and have him talk to Montez.

[Jen]

Well, how do you know what time of day. Yeah, exactly. You don't know if he's there right

[Bert]

now, but I mean, it's.

[Jen]

He can't drive from Woodstock in 24 hours and he's in the parking lot.

[Bert]

He's not lost.

[Jen]

He's not sitting in the parking lot for 24 hours. Is that crazy?

[Bretzky]

This is a new bit called Love Found, and I'm scared and lazy.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Bert]

Aw, come on. Hey, Chelsea, Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Bretzky]

Oh, my God. I think I know him. Does he work at the Marsh Building?

[Montez]

Yeah.

[Bretzky]

Is his name Ryan? He parks my car when I go

[Chelsea]

to the Marsh Building.

[Bert]

Oh, my God. We found him.

[Jen]

Stop being mean to her, y'.

[Montez]

All. Come on.

[Bert]

We're not being mean. Hey, Chelsea, go ahead.

[Montez]

Yeah, I work in the Marsh Building, and I smoke outside every day with the valet people in the afternoon.

[Bert]

Do you know this hottie named Ryan?

[Chelsea]

There's a couple of hotties that do valet there.

[Bretzky]

Well, holla your job today. Here's our challenge for Love Lost, and there he is right there. All right, listen, what you need to do is you need to see today. Let's hope that the valets are still there. Your job today is to go to those valets and find Ryan and get a telephone number from him.

[Bert]

Hey, Tasha. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Chelsea]

Good morning. Morning. So I just had to call and say, this is not a true love lost and found. Bert, even before you said all she had to do was just go right back to the valet park. And I even said that, and I'm a female, shy or not. I mean, come on. All she had to do is go right back. Or like you said, if he's not there, she lives in Woodstock. Just go and say, can I leave the number, email address, or whatever for lying. Simple as that. This is not a true love lost and found. This is a ridiculous waste of.

[Bretzky]

Oh, my God,

[Bert]

help her out.

[Jen]

I don't think so.

[Bert]

Montez, baby. I mean, this is so easy for you.

[Bretzky]

I mean, what she wants us to do. You said when I brought this up,

[Bert]

this is her dirty word. This is just her dirty word.

[Bretzky]

You said this yesterday because we had this conversation off the air, and you said she's just scared. So knowing that we need to approach Ryan, hopefully we'll be able to. We'll be able to find him again at his job.

[Jen]

What happened to you, Captain Destiny?

[Bert]

It's not Captain Destiny. All she has to do is go there and see us.

[Jen]

But listen, we need some friends to go with us.

[Bretzky]

We're switching it up. You need to be open to change, my friend. You know what? Yes, we can. So, Jen, what was the bit called where you approach and it was like, remember you said by proxy, but it's where we go to Ryan and go, look, who do you remember from the past week? It's probably the girl that's smoking with him every day. But you know who called us a few minutes ago. But maybe it's this girl who pulled in with a broken down car.

[Bert]

Well, then all we gotta do is go with a cell phone and ask him. Yeah, that's fine. Hey, Sarah, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Montez]

Hi. I was just gonna say that I'm pretty sure I know who it is because my boyfriend actually works for Midtown Parking.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Montez]

And he hangs out with those guys. And it's one of these guys named Ryan. I don't know if you want me to say his last name or.

[Bretzky]

Why do you think it's that Ryan?

[Montez]

Because I'm pretty sure that's the only Ryan that works there.

[Bretzky]

Cause I'm pretty sure that most valets are named either Ryan or Dave.

[Montez]

No, I mean, like, he hangs out with everybody from work, and the only Ryan I hear about is a certain Ryan.

[Jen]

Are you sure? Are you sure that that parking company is the one who does that lot?

[Montez]

Yeah, I'm positive.

[Bert]

Absolute, complete.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I do want to ask her, though, if he has a girlfriend. If you're. If you know him that well, do you know if he has a girlfriend?

[Bert]

You know how we're gonna find out? Because we're sending inter Michelle down there right now. It's right down the street.

[Melissa Carter]

7:30 in the morning.

[Bert]

And if not, we'll just leave our phone number.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Bert]

And then he'll call us back and then we'll have answers because it shouldn't be too difficult to find him because we know where he is.

[Jen]

We know where he was.

[Bretzky]

What if Michelle goes down there and ends up hooking up with him?

[Bert]

Then that's destiny.

[Jen]

No, because Michelle is dating the most interesting man in the world.

[Bert]

Stay thirsty.

[Jen]

That we don't know what he looks like.

[Bert]

All right, Montej, we're gonna send intern Michelle down there. We'll try to see if we can find him down there, and if not, we'll leave our phone number, and with any luck at all, he'll call by the end of the morning and we will do your dirty work for you. Okay?

[Montez]

Thank you.

[Bert]

All right, hold on.

[Bretzky]

Are you sure you love him before we do this? Are you sure this is the man you want to marry?

[Montez]

He is the man I want to marry.

[Bretzky]

Okay, perfect. We'll tell him that and we'll get him right on the phone.

[Bert]

The first show.

[Bretzky]

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