The Bert Show – Vault: She Needs Help Finding This Cute Valet Driver

Date: April 14, 2026
Main Theme:
A listener named Montez shares her missed romantic opportunity with a cute valet driver named Ryan, and the Bert Show team (Bert, Melissa Carter, Bretzky, Jen, and others) brainstorms ways to help her reconnect—with plenty of laughs, playful teasing, and spirited debate about the legitimacy of her predicament.

Episode Overview

The episode centers on Montez's memorable encounter with a helpful valet named Ryan when her car broke down at a busy Atlanta intersection. Too shy to make a move at the time, Montez now hopes the Bert Show team—and their engaged listenership—can help her track him down in a "Love Lost and Found" bit. The conversation weaves through Montez’s story, the team’s skepticism about her effort, playful banter, and active involvement from listeners who may know the mysterious Ryan.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing "Love Lost & Found"

• [01:36] Melissa Carter explains the premise: The show helps listeners reconnect with someone they regret not exchanging contact info with:

  "Love lost and found is somebody was in a situation in which they think they may have found love, but they lost, and they didn't take the opportunity to get their number or get their contact information."

2. Montez’s Story: The Breakdown and the Meet-Cute

• [02:15] Montez recounts her car mishap on Father's Day at the intersection of Lenox and Piedmont in Buckhead:
  • Out of oil, her car dies; she pulls into a valet lot at the Marsh Building.
  • A sweet valet, possibly named Ryan, helps multiple times as he works, shares he’s a “starving artist”—Montez is also one, being a dancer and entertainer at Six Flags.
  • Despite encouragement from her friend, Montez is too shy to make a move:

    "He was so sweet and I think his name was Ryan. And he told me he was a starving artist, which is me. I'm the same thing. I'm a dancer. So we just had a lot in common...I was too shy to do anything about it." [03:48 – 04:19]

3. Skepticism & Teasing from the Bert Show Team

• [05:31] The team questions why Montez didn't just return to the lot:
  • Bert: "How come between Father's Day and now, you just didn't go back to the valet spot and go, is Ryan here? Can I leave my number for Ryan?" [05:56]
  • Jen offers understanding about the distance and Montez’s shyness:

    "She already told you, she's shy. Stop." [07:02]

  • Bretzky playfully dubs this a “lazy love lost and found”:

    "I love lost and lazy." [06:28]

4. Discussion of Plans and Perspectives

• They float options like sending an intern, having Montez go herself, or involving listeners.
  • [08:30] Bert: “Why don’t we send intern Michelle down to the valet parking lot right now to ask for Ryan and get him on the phone and have him talk to Montez?”
• Jen & Bretzky discuss the show’s usual “proxy wingman” bit:

  "Where we approach the dude and we're like, hey, does anybody from the past week ring a bell with you?...If it's destiny, then he will remember her." [07:27]

5. Listener Engagement & Sleuthing

• [09:00] Chelsea calls in, possibly knowing Ryan, confirming he works at the Marsh Building.
• [11:26] Sarah calls in, her boyfriend works for the valet company, and she believes she knows which Ryan it is.
• [12:03] Melissa Carter probes for details, asking if Ryan is single.

6. Executing the Plan

• [12:08] The team resolves to send Intern Michelle to the Marsh Building valet with a phone number to find Ryan and connect him with Montez.
  • Bert: "We'll try to see if we can find him down there, and if not, we'll leave our phone number, and with any luck at all, he'll call by the end of the morning and we will do your dirty work for you. Okay?" [12:32-12:45]
  • Montez: "Thank you." [12:45]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Montez, on her meet-cute:

  "He was so sweet and he was so nice. And my friend showed up and she was like, 'Montez, this guy is adorable. Why don't you go for it?' And I was like, 'I mean, you're right, but I'm so shy.'" [03:48 – 04:11]

• Bretzky (teasing):

  "I love lost and lazy." [06:28]

• Jen (defending Montez):

  "She already told you, she's shy. Stop." [07:02]

• Bert (summarizing the solution):

  "All she has to do is go there and see us." [10:49]

• Chelsea (listener):

  "Is his name Ryan? He parks my car when I go to the Marsh Building." [09:07]

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:36 | Introduction of Love Lost & Found segment | | 02:15 | Montez shares her full story about meeting Ryan | | 05:26 | Team discusses the valet location details | | 06:28 | Teasing about the legitimacy of the "Lost and Found" situation | | 08:30 | Plan to send an intern to the valet lot | | 09:00 | Listener Chelsea calls with possible lead on Ryan | | 11:26 | Listener Sarah calls in with another lead | | 12:08 | Final plan: Intern dispatched to the Marsh valet to connect with Ryan | | 12:45 | Montez expresses gratitude |

Recap & Takeaways

• Heart of the episode: A funny, relatable story of a missed connection, with listeners enthusiastically participating and the cast delivering both empathy and comic skepticism.
• Tone: Light, playful, authentic—with regular playful ribbing among the cast members.
• Resolution: The Bert Show commits to helping Montez by sending an intern to the valet to find Ryan and play matchmaker by proxy.
• Listener takeaway: Even small moments can become entertaining sagas with a bit of community spirit (and radio show mischief).