Vault: She now has to check "divorced" on paperwork

Summary

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The Bert Show: “Vault: She now has to check 'divorced' on paperwork”

Date: July 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid and witty episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the seemingly simple—but surprisingly emotional—act of having to check the "divorced" box on official forms. What starts as a gripe about jury summons paperwork unfolds into a freewheeling discussion about the meaning and personal impact of labels like "divorced" versus "single." The hosts swap humorous riffs, listener theories, and even take calls from audience members and a court reporter, exploring the ways bureaucracy intersects with identity and feelings.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. The Jury Summons Catalyst (01:01–02:07)

• One of the hosts (Jen) shares a recent experience:

  • Received jury summons and other paperwork requiring marital status boxes: "single," "married," "partner," "divorced," "widowed."
  • Feels troubled by the need to select “divorced” instead of simply “single.”

  "I just wonder why you have to circle divorced. Why can't you just circle single?" — D (01:45)

• The group jokes about why some people have never been called for jury duty and riff on stereotypes.

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2. Why Label 'Divorced'? (02:08–03:43)

• Speculation and lighthearted frustration are voiced:

  • Divorce as “none of your business”—especially odd on medical forms.
  • Is distinguishing “divorced” from “single” necessary, or is it just intrusive?
  • Some empathy over feeling like the past shouldn’t have to be disclosed everywhere.

  "It's like your scarlet letter." — E (03:38)

  "None of your damn business." — F (03:37)

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3. Is It Lying to Refuse ‘Divorced’? (03:49–04:36)

• The group debates whether not checking "divorced" could be considered perjury on a jury form.

  • Playful anxiety about “going to jail” over it, emphasizing the silliness but showing real discomfort.

  "Technically, could that be perjury? Because they did give you divorced as an option. You are divorced." — C (03:51)

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4. Listener Calls & Expert Input (04:45–06:41)

• Randy (Listener):

  • Suggests doctors are interested because divorce can correlate with depression or anger affecting health (05:07).
  • Jen reacts: Those issues aren’t exclusive to the divorced!

  "That would be more with the married people than the divorced people. Are you depressed, angry, sexually frustrated, and married? Come on." — D (05:07)

• Allison (Court Reporter):

  • Offers the inside scoop on why jury forms care about divorce (05:28–06:41):
    • In divorce or family cases, past personal divorce experience might influence a juror's perspectives.
    • Lawyers do review these forms before voir dire (jury selection questioning).

  "They want to know if you've been through an ugly divorce, if you're swayed one side or the other, if you've had issues…” — H (05:38)

  "When you fill out the forms, they look at all the forms, and then when they go through the voir dire... they can ask you specific questions..." — H (05:57)

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5. Medical Perspective & Further Grousing (06:19–06:41)

• The team muses about the dubious rationale for divorce status in the medical context.
• Allison points out: Doctors might ask about counseling or mental health history connected to divorce.

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6. Jury Duty Anecdotes & TV vs. Reality (06:41–07:55)

• Personal stories about actual jury duty:

  • A host expected a dramatic trial—is disappointed by the mundanity of real jury service (over a $35 shoplifting case).
  • Another recounts a friend’s intense experience on a murder trial.

• Jokes about being sequestered with strangers (“my fear is to be...sequestered...weeks in a hotel”—E, 07:29).

  “You’ve basically done that for nine years.” — F, teasing about having to sit with the Bert Show team so long (07:41)

• Playful speculation: Maybe “divorced” people are grouped to “meet other people” when sequestered.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On checking the ‘divorced’ box:

  "Why do you have to always tell everybody I've been married and that's been my past?" — D (03:31)

• On privacy:

  "None of your damn business." — F (03:37)

• On medical forms:

  "Are you depressed, angry, sexually frustrated and married? Come on." — D (05:07)

• On jury duty expectations:

  "Most of the lawyers...they're not nearly as smooth as TV lawyers are. And the case was like, it was over a $35 shoplifting item..." — F (06:59)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:01 — Main topic introduced: checking “divorced” on forms
• 02:45 — Discussion of emotional impact and privacy concerns
• 03:49 — Could not marking “divorced” be perjury?
• 04:45 — Listener Randy: Doctors and mental health
• 05:24 — Court Reporter Allison: Real reason for “divorced” on jury forms
• 06:41 — Jury duty stories: TV fantasy vs. reality
• 07:29 — Fear of being sequestered; group banter

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Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show’s approachable style, the conversation is playful, genuine, and slightly irreverent. The hosts and listeners oscillate between serious questioning, sarcasm, and heartfelt annoyance, making bureaucratic tedium a source of laughs and relatability.

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In Summary

This episode explores the small but meaningful annoyances of being labeled “divorced” by bureaucratic forms, sparking laughs, commiseration, and a few surprising bits of practical wisdom about how identity shapes our interactions with institutions. The show reminds us that what appears minor can carry emotional weight, and almost anything can be material for a spirited—and funny—morning conversation.

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Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[D]

I just got a jury summons, and this is the second form in a week that I've had to fill out that has something that's, like, troubling for me.

[C]

Right.

[D]

When you go through it and you're like, you know, Are you a U.S. citizen? Yes. Are you female? Male. You know, I've never been summoned for the jury. That's weird. Because you're a voter.

[E]

Yeah, I've never. Never once.

[F]

Because you're gay.

[D]

They know it.

[E]

They're like, oh, she's a little lavender and pink. I'm sorry.

[D]

So I've actually been summoned a lot, but never had to actually go through with a trial or anything. But, yeah, so I got a jury summons to go on my birthday, which I was actually able to get out of because we had Burt's Big Adventure and I was out of town for work, so I called them and said, so, and so they sent a new one. Anyway, the point is that when filling out this form, and then also some medical forms recently, under marital status, they have listed single, married partner, divorced or widowed. And I just wonder why you have to circle divorced. Why can't you just circle single?

[E]

Right. That is a good point.

[D]

Why do they have that listed, like, even on medical forms?

[F]

Do you think it has something to do with the selection Process. Like somehow that would put you in a category that the lawyers would know if they want you in this jury or not.

[C]

Oh, yeah, it makes perfect sense.

[D]

Makes more sense with the jury than it would with medical records, though. But it's on just about everything. So, like it would immediately office at the dentist's office at the. I mean, any sort of like form you've got to fill out with your name and age and blah, blah, blah.

[E]

Is it does.

[D]

Has it listed?

[E]

Is there an assumption, maybe an alert to them that there may be some couples that may still be tied financially or medically or that. Or have children, you know, that they may have to.

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

I don't know.

[D]

I don't know why I find it offensive. And so I rebel in circle single.

[C]

Why does it offend you?

[D]

I don't know. It's just offensive. Like why. What's under your business?

[F]

I just think it's part of the sorting out process in the jury selection more than anything else. Like it would dictate to them on. But it's the lawyers on both. On. On both sides if they want you part of the jury or not.

[E]

I get that. I say was the jury because like, like you said, it may have something to do with the case and they need to have a diverse group from background.

[D]

But I.

[E]

On most records, I think, or most anything I filled out there is usually the single married divorce.

[F]

I've never seen divorced before.

[D]

I got to tell you on everything,

[C]

just not pay attention to it.

[D]

Why? Yeah, why do you have to.

[E]

Why do you have to always tell everybody I've been married and that's been my past and why do you have to.

[D]

Yeah, like it irks me. Did you check?

[F]

None of your damn business.

[E]

It's like your scarlet letter.

[F]

Mind your own business.

[D]

Yeah, no, good for you. My D A is what I should say. Yeah, or DB Now, I have a

[C]

question about the jury form.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Like, technically, could that be perjury? Because they did give you divorced as an option. You are divorced. And if Bert's accurate, that it does have something to do with the vetting out of.

[D]

But I'm not lying. My marital status is single.

[C]

Well, you're divorced. Like, there is a more appropriate you are single, but you should circle both.

[D]

We're assuming I don't go to jail

[E]

for this, but we're assuming that's the reason why they have it on the form. I mean, that's just. I don't know if that's the actual reason.

[G]

Right.

[E]

I'm not because lawyers will ask directly the questions in a jury pool that they want. You know, they don't.

[D]

I mean, even I don't even think

[E]

the lawyers would see that form because

[D]

this is for a trial.

[E]

You wouldn't see that form.

[F]

I don't think we're going to end up on the jury that's trying to indict you for lying on your jury summons.

[D]

I'm not lying. I am single. It just irks me. Maybe we have somebody who's like that option. I don't know.

[E]

Maybe somebody with legitimate background can tell us why.

[C]

Hey, and until then, we'll just take calls from people doing the same thing we are, like Randy. Hey, Randy. Welcome to the show.

[D]

Speculating.

[H]

Good morning, everybody. What I wanted to comment on was doctors like to know if you're divorced, because a lot of times it can have to do with depression or it can have to do with anger, both of which can affect you physically as well as mentally.

[D]

That would be more with the married people than the divorced people. Are you depressed, angry, sexually frustrated and married? Come on.

[C]

All right, here we go. Somebody qualified. Hello, Allison. Welcome to the show.

[H]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[C]

Tell us what, what qualifies you to answer this question?

[H]

Well, I'm a court reporter in Cobb County.

[D]

Okay.

[H]

And I can tell you the answer as to why they ask if you are divorced specifically.

[D]

Okay.

[H]

If it's a trial. Let's say it's a trial, a divorce case. Basically, they want to know if you've been through an ugly divorce, if you're swayed one side or the other, if you've had issues and why you might lean towards one party or the other.

[E]

That makes now, as a court, do the lawyers in the case get to see these forms that Jen's filling out?

[H]

Absolutely. When you fill out the forms, they look at all the forms, and then when they go through the voir dire, which is the selection, they can, after all the general questions, they can ask you specific questions and ask you detailed information about if you were, if you went through that type of situation, if you went to a trial, if you had a hearing, what was the outcome? Do you think you were treated fairly or not, et cetera.

[E]

Makes total sense. Now, if somebody in a doctor's office could explain why your divorce status is important for medical records, too, you know,

[C]

we already got it. Because you're angry and depressed, Right.

[E]

You're single, you're a miserable, just like they could.

[H]

They could ask if you've had counseling for, you know, in a situation like

[D]

that, as well, right, yeah, it definitely makes more sense. Okay, so now I have both circled on my juror form because I don't want to go to jail.

[F]

Years ago for perjury or whatever. When I lived in San Diego years ago, I got on a jury and I had in my mind that it was going to be like, it would be on tv, you know, like it'd be some pressing case where the defendant would confess at the very last second of this mass murder or something like that.

[E]

Snooze fest.

[F]

It was a total snooze fest, man. Most of the lawyers don't know that they're not nearly as smooth as TV lawyers are. And the case was like, it was over like a $35 shoplifting item at the campus bookstore. It's totally boring.

[D]

I do have a good friend who was on a murder trial as a juror though. Really? And he said that it was. Was definitely intense and pretty fascinating.

[F]

Yeah, you will be disappointed by the lawyers, man. Cause they're so polished and so good on television.

[D]

Well, they're actors, but they're actors and it's dramatic.

[E]

My fear is to be, you know, that I have to stay and not have to stay with the jury, you know, like it'd be a big trial where I'm sequestered and I have to sit with those 11 people for like weeks in a hotel.

[D]

God, as soon as they.

[F]

You've basically done that for nine years

[E]

and no but no TV and no phone and nothing.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe that's why they want to know. Because if you're divorced, then you're desperate to meet other people. So they'll put you all in one big sequestered room.

[G]

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