Vault: She Opened Up About Her Abusive Relationship

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – She Opened Up About Her Abusive Relationship

Date: May 12, 2026
Main Theme:
An emotionally resonant episode focused on domestic abuse and survival, featuring a candid conversation with “Glenda,” a victim currently caught in an abusive relationship. The show weaves in Rihanna’s high-profile experience with partner violence, the tireless work of survivor-led organizations, and live community support for those struggling to escape abusive situations.

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Episode Overview

This powerful episode centers on the realities of domestic violence, both high-profile and hidden. The hosts set the stage by referencing Rihanna’s past abuse at the hands of Chris Brown, segueing into a deeply vulnerable call from “Glenda,” a listener enduring ongoing abuse. The show connects Glenda to Oneita Bobbitt, founder of Jaden's Ladder, an organization dedicated to helping women escape domestic violence. Through honest discussion, practical advice, and survivor testimony, the episode offers hope, resources, and solidarity to anyone suffering in silence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rihanna’s Interview as a Catalyst

• The show opens with Bert expressing surprise at Rihanna’s openness during a televised interview about her abuse.
  • "We were really expecting her to duck a lot of questions ... as far as getting into specifics, we heard Rihanna was not going to talk about it. We were all wrong." (Bert, 01:30–01:53)
• Rihanna’s words about her experience:
  • "The truth is right here in the text message. So it escalated into him being violent towards me, and it was ugly." (Rihanna, quoted by host, 02:32)

2. Glenda’s Story: Living with Abuse

• Glenda calls in, bravely sharing that she’s currently in an abusive relationship:
  • "I'm actually in an abusive relationship right now, and I can't tell you how many times that I've actually left and come back and left and come back ... when the things are good, they're really, really good. But when they're bad, let me tell you, they're really, really bad." (Glenda, 02:51–03:21)
• She confirms both physical and mental abuse, describing her daily fear and isolation:
  • "I walk in my front door and I walk on eggshells every day because I, you know, I don't know what to expect." (Glenda, 03:52)
• On failed attempts to leave:
  • "He says, oh, it's going to be different this time. ... He has been to jail for it, and, you know, he's on probation and going to counseling for it. But... that's not going to help him because he doesn't think he has a problem." (Glenda, 04:19)
• Glenda reveals isolation from family/friends and feeling unsupported by authorities:
  • "I've kind of built a brick wall around myself and I just stay to myself." (Glenda, 05:06)
  • "I called the county... I was told that... I was the one that had to leave... and I could only get one change of clothes. ... And I was like, forget it, you know, don't even bother." (Glenda, 05:49)

3. Immediate Support: Jaden’s Ladder & Oneita Bobbitt

• Bert and hosts detail Jaden’s Ladder, a nonprofit supporting women for two years post-escape, emphasizing the vow never to return to the abuser (05:16–05:27).
• Oneita Bobbitt, a survivor herself and the founder, joins the call:
  • "What I want you to start to do is to start to prepare for an exit plan. ... Any important paperwork, start putting some money aside, give it to somebody that you trust... so that when you are ready and when you’re fed up ... you're not left with nothing." (Oneita, 07:54)
  • Oneita shares her own experience:
    • "For me, it was seven times when [I] came back and kept beating me up, and then I was just done when I realized it affected another family member..." (Oneita, 08:36)
• She offers both practical steps and emotional solidarity:
  • "Girlfriend, I really, really want you to start to prepare and really realize the value of your life... That's not a normal household. I want you to get ready and prepare to leave." (Oneita, 08:36–09:54)
  • Emphasizes that making the call is a huge first step:
    • "That’s an incredible step, Glenda. ... There’s no reason for a man to push you, to punch you, to verbally abuse you. This is wrong. ... Most people can't make this phone call because it's too late. And you're in a great position to get out of a situation that can potentially kill you. It's that serious." (Oneita, 10:04–11:08)

4. Barriers to Help & Systemic Challenges

• Glenda voices frustration with traditional supports:
  • "You can't turn to the police or any of the domestic violence shelters... unless you go in and you've got, you know, a broken bone or a black eye or something like that, they'll turn you away and they won't help you." (Glenda, 11:16)
• Oneita acknowledges these failings, but insists on the urgency and necessity of self-determination, backed up by survivor-focused services. (11:37)

5. Sharing Resources On-Air

• Oneita gives out her organization’s hotline and personal cell phone:
  • "If anybody's in need right now... my office [number] is 888-430-1118 ... if you just want to talk... my cell phone number is 603-205-4746. ... It's worth giving out a cell phone number in order to save a life." (Oneita, 12:18)

6. Community and Survivor Solidarity

• Andrea calls in, offering direct help:
  • "I'll come pick you up right now. There's no reason. Just call me and I will come get you." (Andrea, 13:19)
  • When asked why she’s willing, Andrea shares the stakes:
    • "No, I just know friends that are dead because of it, and I don't want to see anybody else die." (Andrea, 13:32)
• Another survivor closes by giving Glenda hope:
  • "I thought I was nothing. That man had just brought me down and I. I got out and there is somebody who will love you, even though he says there's nobody that'll take you. It is the best thing that could ever happen to you. You're going to be free. Just leave him and you'll be free." (Survivor caller, 14:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rihanna (quoted, 02:32):
  "It escalated into him being violent towards me, and it was ugly."

• Glenda (03:52):
  "I walk in my front door and I walk on eggshells every day because I ... don’t know what to expect."

• Oneita Bobbitt (08:36):
  "For me, it was seven times ... and then I was just done when I realized it affected another family member."

• Andrea (13:32):
  "I just know friends that are dead because of it, and I don't want to see anybody else die."

• Survivor caller (14:46):
  "It is the best thing that could ever happen to you. You're going to be free. Just leave him and you'll be free."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:30 – Discussion of Rihanna’s interview and revelations about her abuse.
• 02:51 – Glenda calls in, describes her current abusive situation.
• 05:16 – Introduction of Jaden’s Ladder as a potential support resource.
• 06:45 – Oneita Bobbitt speaks, gives advice for strategic exit planning.
• 08:36 – Oneita shares her personal story of finally leaving violence.
• 10:04 – Encouraging Glenda to accept the seriousness of her situation, offering direct support.
• 12:18 – Oneita publicly offers her organization’s contact information and her own cell number.
• 13:19 – Andrea calls in, offering immediate, practical assistance.
• 14:46 – Survivor’s message of hope and reassurance.

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Takeaways & Tone

The Bert Show handles this sensitive topic with compassion, urgency, and honesty. The tone is supportive and direct—never dismissive, always validating. The hosts and guests stress that nobody deserves abuse, that seeking help is both difficult and brave, and that community and survivor-driven resources can be literal lifelines.

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Resources Discussed

• Jaden’s Ladder:
  • Office: 888-430-1118
  • Founder’s cell: 603-205-4746

If you or someone you know is affected by domestic violence, this episode demonstrates that help, understanding, and hope are available—even if the official systems let you down, there can be someone ready to listen and act.

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Transcript

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[Bert (Host)]

This is the Birch Show. I saw Rihanna here on Friday night. I sat through this whole thing on 2020 and I was really expecting her to duck a lot of questions cuz those were the Internet rumors that she just doesn't want to talk about it. Yes, she's willing to help others that were in the same situation. But as far as getting into specifics, we heard Rihanna was not going to talk about it. We were all wrong.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Yeah, absolutely wrong. She first explains what led up to the place where Chris got violent. She says she and Brown were in the car on the way home from that Grammy party. He was driving. And over the next 30 minutes, here's what happened. She saw a text message on his

[Bert (Host)]

cell phone from an old girlfriend.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

She got angry.

[Rihanna (quoted)]

I caught him in a lie and he wouldn't. He wouldn't tell the truth. So I wouldn't drop it. I wouldn't drop it. I kept saying I couldn't take that. He kept lying to me, and he couldn't take that. I wouldn't drop it because obviously his back was up against the wall.

[Bert (Host)]

It's.

[Rihanna (quoted)]

The truth is right here in the text message. So it escalated into him being violent towards me, and it was ugly.

[Bert (Host)]

Hey, Glenda.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Hey, Bert. How are you?

[Bert (Host)]

Okay. How are you?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I'm good. I'm actually in a abusive relationship right now, and I can't tell you how many times that I've actually left and come back and left and come back. And, you know, I keep telling myself, when the things are good, they're really, really good. But when they're bad, let me tell you, they're really, really bad. And I tell myself, you know, that he's going to change, things are going to get better, but, you know, they don't get better and he doesn't change. And, you know, when you love somebody, you just, you know, you want that person to change and things to be great because you do love that person. But, you know, in Rihanna's case, I, you know, I just can't speak for her, but, you know, she'll go back.

[Bert (Host)]

Is he physically abusive with you?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Yeah, he's physically and mentally abusive to me.

[Bert (Host)]

So when he walks in the door tonight, anything can happen. He can knock you around.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Anything can happen. It just depends, you know, it's like, you know, I walk in my front door and I walk on eggshells every day because I, you know, I don't know what to expect.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Do you want to leave?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I don't know if it's been a good day for him and things are going to be great when I get home or if, you know, he's had a bad day at work and I'm going to be the one that he takes out on.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Do you want to leave him?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Yeah, and I have many times. And it's just like, you know, you kind of get brainwashed. You know, he says, oh, it's going to be different this time. It's going to be different this time. And he has been to jail for it, and, you know, he's on probation and going to counseling for it. But that's not going to happen. You know, that's not going to help him because he doesn't think he has a problem.

[Bert (Host)]

So, Linda, how do you. I mean, you know all this and you're speaking so realistically about it all. How do you think this is going to end?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I have no idea.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Do you have children with him?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

No, my Children are grown and they live in different states.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

And what excuses do you tell people when you have bruises and cuts and broken bones?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I just don't talk about it. I've kind of built a brick wall around myself and I just stay to myself.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Well, Bert and I worked with an organization over the weekend that can help you get out. It's called Jaden's Ladder, and they help women for two years continually. But you have to leave your abuser and vow to never go back.

[Bert (Host)]

And these are women that, when they first started with Jaden's Ladder, we're talking the exact same way you are. I mean, you're certainly not alone, you know, and they can help you out of this whole situation because you know, you know in your heart this can't end well. This guy today is not gonna be a great guy and he's not putting his abusive ways away. You know how this is gonna end, right?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I do know. It sounds like you just.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

You're tired.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I am. And you know, calling the police, that does no help. Don't. The last time an incident happened, I called the county in which I lived in and they. I was told that. And the house that I live in, we rent and it's in my name. And I was told that I was the one that had to leave. And I could only get one change of clothes. What can you do with one. One change of clothing? You know, And I was like, forget it, you know, don't even bother.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Right.

[Bert (Host)]

Hey, Glenda, we were just talking about this event that we were at over the weekend that Jen and I hosted for Jaden's Ladder. And this is an organization specifically set up for women just like you. And the founder of it is Oneita Bobbitt. And she's been in your place before, totally in your place before. And she's on the phone with us right now.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Uh huh.

[Bert (Host)]

Hey, Oneida.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Hi guys.

[Bert (Host)]

How are you?

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

I'm good, just recovering.

[Bert (Host)]

Yeah, it was a fun night on Saturday night, but we got some pretty serious stuff going on today, Glenda. We were talking about Rihanna and we're talking about Chris Brown, and Glenda called us up and she's in the exact same situation.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

What's going on? What just happened, Glenda?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I'm sorry, what did you say she

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

just happened with you?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Yeah, I mean it. Like when I said when it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's really, really bad. And the thing is, you know, you never know what you're walking into when you walk through the front door.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Have you started to isolate you from your family and friends?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I mean, I don't have, you know, I have friends at work when I'm at work, that when I clock out at 5, it's like there's no communication. There's no, you know, I don't talk on my cell phone. I don't communicate with my family. It's just me and him.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Yeah. These are the immediate signs, obviously. And what I want you to start to do is to start to prepare for an exit plan, because I'm not sure how ready you are to leave. And so what I need for you to do is start to get any important paperwork, start putting some money aside, give it to somebody that you trust, and just for the day that when you are ready and when you're fed up and you're ready to go, that you're not left with nothing.

[Bert (Host)]

Onita, when is that day? Normally, because Glenda sort of painted this picture of like, she doesn't know he could come home today. He's having a bad day. He just starts knocking around. So when is going to be her day of definition that, okay, today is the last day I really got to go.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

You know, for me, it was seven times when Erin came back and kept beating me up. And then I was just done when I realized it affected another family member. Most of the time, Bert, it's not about us. I mean, we feel we can take it. But when it starts to. When you start to see it might affect your mother, the safety of your mother, that the guy can go off on your child, that's when they hit rock bottom or they really, really get. It's too late. And so I hope for you that you decide that this is a dangerous. That you need to get out and you need to start preparing for when you feel strong enough to leave. I know it's difficult. I've been there. But, girlfriend, I really, really want you to start to prepare and really realize the value of your life and that it's not right for what this guy is doing to you that when he comes home that he could just batter you. It's not the right thing. That's not a normal household. I want you to get ready and prepare to leave. And if that point, if you're not ready right now and when he comes home one day and you're just get that strength and walk out the door and you call me, we'll give you my cell phone number, you call me and I'll help you out of the situation. You will have me to, you know, in Jaden's ladder to cover your back and to make sure that you're financially and emotionally okay.

[Bert (Host)]

Glenda?

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Bert (Host)]

Are you saying in your head right now, Glenda, it's really not that bad. Are you accepting that it's as bad as it really is?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

No, I'm accepting that it's as bad

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

as it really is. That's an incredible step. Glenda, I want you, when you get off the phone, to get my cell number. And when you're ready to leave, call me. We will be there for you. There's no reason for a man to push you, to punch you, to verbally abuse you. This is wrong. And I want you to get out before it gets really bad. Most people can't make this phone call because it's too late. And you're in a great position to get out of a situation that can potentially kill you. It's that serious. Okay? So I want you to get prepared. Get your paperwork ready, get all your great, very important documents. Give it away to a friend. Get some money, whatever money you have, just put it away. And when you're ready, get out of the situation immediately. It's dangerous. I know you feel how dangerous this is, and I want you to know that I'm here. I understand it. I want you to get out of the situation as soon as possible.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

That would be great. Just knowing that I have somebody to turn to is just. It's wonderful.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Do you have children?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I've learned that, you know, you can't turn to the police or any of the domestic violence shelters or anything like that. I've tried that. And unless you go in and you've got, you know, a broken bone or a black eye or something like that, they'll turn you away and they won't help you.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Well, I want you to call me. And, you know, the shelters and the police officers, they do their job, and when it's. When it's time to do their job. But I want you to do it for yourself. Don't depend on anybody right now. Just get out. And then also call me, and we will help you to. To get to where you need to be.

[Bert (Host)]

Hey, Glenda, don't go anywhere yet because we want to get that phone number in your hands for sure, okay?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Oh, definitely. Thank you.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

And Oneita, I'm sure there are more women listening who don't have the courage to call in and admit to what's going on with them, but they may be able to be helped by Glenda's. Story or Rihanna's story, and they may need the help of Jaden's letter. Can they call you? Is there a number where they can call?

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Yes, I'm going to. You know, this is unusual, but I'm going to give you my cell phone. Our 800 number is 888-430-1118. That's my office. But if anybody's in need right now and you just want to talk and I can get you through this, my cell phone number is 603-205-4746. You know, it's worth giving out a cell phone number in order to save a life or to make sure that you guys feel that you have a safe place to go. And please give me a call and we'll work it out, and we'll get you the steps to get out of a very violent, volatile situation.

[Bert (Host)]

That is really amazing of you to give your cell phone out and we're out like that. You're gonna be busy today.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

No problem.

[Bert (Host)]

Unfortunately, you're gonna be busy.

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

This is why we're here.

[Bert (Host)]

All right, Again, the name of the organization is Jaden's Ladder and Oneida. I'll put you on hold for a second also. Okay?

[Oneita Bobbitt (Founder of Jaden's Ladder)]

Okay.

[Bert (Host)]

And I just want to put one more call on with you because Andrea is ready to come pick you up right now. Hey, Andrea.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Hi.

[Bert (Host)]

Hi. Go ahead. You're on with Glenda Glenn.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I'll come pick you up right now. There's no reason. Just call me and I will come get you. Thank you so much.

[Bert (Host)]

Has this happened to you, too?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

No, I just know friends that are dead because of it, and I don't want to see anybody else die.

[Bert (Host)]

I mean, it's that serious. Glenda, you know this. You're in it. But, I mean, hearing that, I mean, she's had friends that have died. You got to get out of this thing. You got to get out today. You know,

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I do know that. And, I mean, I've left so many times and went back thinking, you know, that it's going to change and it's going to get better. And I know in my heart that it's not.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Do your children know what's going on?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

My oldest son does. And he has totally removed himself from the situation. He doesn't talk to me because he says, mom, why don't you leave? And until you've walked in my shoes, you know, I keep saying, don't judge me because it's not that easy.

[Bert (Host)]

Let me put you on somebody that at least we can end On a positive note, this is somebody that's gotten out of the same situation you're in. Hey, don't.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Hi.

[Bert (Host)]

Hi. Can you give Glenn some hope here?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

I'm sorry, can you say again?

[Bert (Host)]

Can you give Glenda some hope here?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Yes. I just wanted to let her know that I went through it. I thought I was nothing. That man had just brought me down and I. I got out and there is somebody who will love you, even though he says there's nobody that'll take you. It is the best thing that could ever happen to you. You're going to be free. Just leave him and you'll be free. Oh, I'm trying to get there.

[Bert (Host)]

All right, well, we're gonna put you in touch with Jayden's ladder here and Oneida, and she's gonna get you the help. If you really want it today, we're gonna get you out of there.

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Thank you, Bert. I appreciate it.

[Bert (Host)]

All right, Glenda, don't hang up, okay? I'm gonna put you on hold.

[Jayden's Ladder Representative]

Glenda, you had the courage enough to call, so that means you have the courage enough to admit it and to leave. So make this be the last time you ever make a call like this, okay?

[Glenda (Caller/Victim)]

Thank you.

[Bert (Host)]

This is the bird show.