Vault: She Sacrificed Her Finances to Save Everyone's Bonus

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault - She Sacrificed Her Finances to Save Everyone's Bonus

Date: May 27, 2026
Hosts: Burt, Melissa, Bert Show Cast
Featured Listener: Colleen

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on listener Colleen, who called The Bert Show seeking advice and confessing her involvement in a financial conundrum that could jeopardize her company’s Christmas bonuses—and her own legal standing. The drama unfolds as Colleen reveals she’s been covering for her brother’s bounced check at her small workplace, and the team (along with callers) helps her navigate the consequences, risks, and potential solutions as she scrambles ahead of the company holiday party.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introducing Colleen’s Dilemma

• Tension Before the Holiday Party

  • Colleen works at a small company about to hand out Christmas bonuses at its annual party (01:30).
  • Her brother was hired for a project, paid by check, but the check bounced. Colleen concealed this for six weeks.

• Legal and Ethical Concerns

  • The crew points out that Colleen’s actions with her brother could constitute a felony (02:25).

• Timeline Pressure

  • The boss has already announced bonuses to staff; checks will be handed out at the party, raising the stakes for Colleen to set things right tonight (01:34–02:25).

Seeking (and Taking) Advice

• Emergency Loan for Damage Control

  • Following previous show advice, Colleen and her brother applied for a loan—with Colleen and her husband co-signing. The bank approves the loan, with funds due Monday, but checks go out tonight (02:57–03:36).
  • “I went with my brother to get a loan and naturally I had to end up co-signing for him, my husband and I, which he’s thrilled about.” – Colleen (02:57)

• Uncertainty and Anxiety

  • Multiple listeners and co-hosts discuss the timing of check deposits and whether funds can be covered in time (03:36–04:41).
  • “I’m so nervous about tonight.” – Colleen (05:03)

Listener Reactions & Theories

• Suspicion About the Boss

  • Listener Tara speculates the boss might know about the missing funds and is setting Colleen up (05:13–05:27).
  • Colleen insists her boss would be direct if he suspected anything, showing her faith in his character (05:32–05:52).

• Advice from Experience

  • Callers and hosts reassure Colleen, sharing personal stories about floating checks and timing bank processes (03:39–04:09, 06:01–07:02).
  • “If you can get it in by whatever your bank’s cutoff is, then you’re cool.” – Michelle (06:27)

Reflection and Responsibility

• Owning Up and Taking Action

  • Co-host Melissa commends Colleen for listening and acting on advice quickly, especially given the legal implications (06:34).
  • “You didn’t realize how serious it was, but as soon as you did, you went to your brother, got it figured out, co-signed the loan… I’m impressed.” – Melissa (06:34)

• Family Stress and Regret

  • Colleen admits the fallout is straining her marriage and family relationships (04:44, 05:03).
  • “Never work with family. It’s a lesson learned.” – Colleen (05:03)

The Waiting Game

• What Happens Next?

  • The hosts decide to check in with Colleen after the weekend to see if everything worked out or if the loan fell through (07:04–07:11).
  • Callers inject humor about potential jail time: “If it didn’t go well, will you use your one collect call to give us an update?” – Michelle (07:11)
  • Colleen jokes nervously about not answering her phone if she gets caught (07:17).

• Practical Concerns

  • Listeners warn that banks sometimes hold large checks for up to five days, adding to the tension (07:28–07:39).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Family and Business:
  “Never work with family. It’s a lesson learned.”
  — Colleen (05:03)

• On Urgency:
  “My heart’s gonna fall into my stomach.”
  — Colleen (06:02)

• On Responsible Action:
  “You didn’t realize how serious it was, but as soon as you did, you… got it figured out. I’m impressed, because that never happens on our show.”
  — Melissa (06:34)

• On Pending Relief:
  “Monday is gonna come and every time your phone rings, you’re gonna jump.”
  — Michelle (05:57)

• On Next Steps and Uncertainty:
  “If you don’t—If I don’t answer my phone, I guess you’ll know why. Because I got found out.”
  — Colleen (07:17)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:30 – Situation Recap: Colleen’s secret and the bonus party deadline
• 02:25 – Legal risk highlighted; realities set in
• 02:57–03:36 – Colleen’s update: pursues emergency loan as a fix
• 05:03 – Colleen’s anxiety and family stress peak
• 06:34 – Commendation for quick, responsible action
• 07:04–07:39 – Practical tips, bank hold warnings, and looking ahead

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Tone & Style

The Bert Show’s style in this episode is candid, humorous, supportive, and laced with real-world advice. Colleen’s vulnerability is met with non-judgment, practical suggestions, and a blend of seriousness (regarding the legal stakes) and light-hearted banter (making jokes about collect calls from jail).

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Summary Takeaway

In this episode, Colleen’s urgent scramble to cover her brother’s bounced check stakes her family’s financial security against her colleagues’ holiday happiness, all while running up to the legal edge. The cast and listeners weigh in with empathy, practical advice, and gallows humor as Colleen races the clock—and the banking system—to avoid disaster. The resolution is left pending for a check-in next week, underscoring the classic morning show blend of drama, camaraderie, and real-life lessons.

Transcript

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[Host (Burt)]

The Burt show it's supposed to happen tonight for Colleen at her Christmas party here.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

Yeah, basically Colleen called us up and told us she was in a really sticky situation because she works for a fairly small company and she had her brother come to the company to get some work done. Well, her brother got this project done, but he didn't clear the check. He wrote the company a pretty big check and it bounced. So she's been covering for him over the last six weeks trying to figure out what to do. Well, the boss of the company turned around and said, hey, we got all this, you know, money from this latest project, Whatever, let's turn it around, give everybody Christmas bonuses. And so tonight's the holiday party where everybody's supposed to receive their bonuses. Plus the boss told one of the six employees at the office that they were getting bonuses. So it's probably spread like wildfire. And it's not gonna be necessarily a surprise tonight. It's actually gonna be expected at the holiday party. So we were telling her the other day she needed to go get a loan or something to figure it out.

[Host (Burt)]

And there's one small little detail also, that what she and her brother have been doing is a felony. That's a problem. So how's she gonna make this right before the holiday party tonight? Colleen's back with us. Hey, Colleen.

[Colleen]

Good morning.

[Host (Burt)]

Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser. When you called us a couple of days ago, you. I don't think any of us realized that what you were doing, that you could go to jail for something like that.

[Colleen]

Yeah, I guess I didn't realize it either.

[Host (Burt)]

So now that you do, what have you done about it? Yeah.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

Huh.

[Colleen]

I took some advice of some people that calls and I went to the bank to. Well, actually my brother. I went with my brother to get a loan and naturally I had to end up co signing for him, my husband and I, which she's thrilled about. But I'm still a little bit nervous because the check, we don't get the check until Monday but for the loan. So, I mean, I got the situation taken care of, but the checks are going out to, you know, all my co workers tonight, so.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Well, if you get money.

[Colleen]

Not there yet.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Well, it. Well, I mean, not. Not that I've ever floated checks or had bad credit, but you know, if you get that money in there before 2 o' clock on Monday, then you should be fine.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

Well, what if some party is tonight?

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Even if they deposit the check tonight, it doesn't.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

What if they walk the check into the bank tomorrow?

[Co-host (Melissa)]

What if they still won't clear till Monday on the weekends, even though they're open, will they check it?

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Well, I mean, they'll put it in, but it won't process until Monday and

[Host (Burt)]

by that time she'd have the cash in there.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

And if you get that cash in there in the bank Monday morning, then

[Co-host (Melissa)]

fingers crossed, the loan comes through on Monday.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, and what if it doesn't?

[Colleen]

Right? I know. I mean, you know, I've never taken out a loan like this before, you know, other than just like your standard home financing. So there's just all this paperwork and I'm. They're saying it's going to be done on Monday, but I'm just like, what if somebody walks into the bank and tries to cash the check?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Have you been approved for the loan?

[Colleen]

My husband and I have been approved as well. I mean, he was approved with my brother was approved with us co signing for him.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

Okay, so your brother is taking responsibility for it.

[Colleen]

Well, yeah, but you know, being as though he hasn't come forward with the money for the website, I mean, he'll who knows if he's gonna pay the loan. So that just created stress in my household. Tara has whole things a disaster.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, totally.

[Colleen]

It is never work with family. See, I. I just, I don't. It's a lesson learned. But I just. I'm so nervous about tonight.

[Host (Burt)]

Here's Tara. She has a theory. Hey, Tara.

[Colleen]

Hey. Love you guys. Show.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Thank you.

[Colleen]

I totally think the boss has set her up.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

The boss has set her up.

[Colleen]

He knows. He knows that the text already bounced. He's the boss.

[Host (Burt)]

You think that's possible, Colleen?

[Colleen]

No, just because I know the type of person that he is. Like, he's so He's a really good guy and he's a very direct person that if he had a question, he would just come straight to me and ask. I just. It's out of character for him to do something like that.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

Well, you might actually pull this off.

[Host (Burt)]

It's gonna be right down to the wire though. He's talking about a no sleep weekend.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

I tell you what, Monday is gonna come and every time your phone rings, you're gonna jump.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Can you post it?

[Colleen]

My heart's gonna fall into my stomach.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Can you post date their bonus checks to maybe Tuesday?

[Colleen]

No, because the bot like the checks have already been cut because my boss wanted to to physically hand them out tonight. So. He already has the checks in hand. He made me cut them last night before I left the office.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

That man's gotta be youe'll be fine.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

You know what? I know it's nerve wracking, but if what Melissa says is still accurate, it's

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

still accurate for the days in which I had no credit.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

Cause I did that too. Floating the checks from here and there. Like if you can get it in by whatever your bank's cutoff is, then you're cool.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

What I will say is you're one of the only listeners who's actually listened to the advice and immediately done something about it. I'm kidding. That's pretty impressive that, you know, you didn't realize how serious it was, but as soon as you did, you went to your brother, got it figured out. Co signed the loan, like you're replacing the money, you're making up for your mistake. And I'm impressed because that never happens on our show.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, this has to end well or it's going to send a really bad message out to other listeners that they've been right all these years.

[Colleen]

I don't. I don't know. I'm just nervous.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, I'd be nervous, too, if I were you. There's a lot at stake here.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

So we need to talk to you on Tuesday to see if everything went well on Monday.

[Colleen]

If I got the loan. Yeah.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

If it didn't go well, will you use your one collect call to give us an update?

[Colleen]

Right. If you don't. If I don't answer my phone, I guess you'll know why. Because I got found out. I don't know.

[Host (Burt)]

Michelle here may put your mind a little bit more at ease. Hey, Michelle.

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[Host (Burt)]

I got about 15 seconds.

[Colleen]

Oh, I just wanted to tell her sometimes she needs to be aware that a large check like that, they'll hold them for about five days.

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

Oh, crap.

[Colleen]

Before they release the money into the account.

[Co-host (Melissa)]

Nice.

[Caller/Listener (Tara)]

Okay, well, but the person that has the bonus check, I mean, they wouldn't. They would know that. They're just happy they're getting the bonus at all. You know what I mean?

[Caller/Listener (Michelle)]

Yeah, but if the check. If the money's not there, the money should have been there, what, a month ago or however long ago she's going to be. A long weekend. I hope she likes to drink.

[Host (Burt)]

Colleen, we'll talk to you early next week, okay?

[Colleen]

All right. Thank you guys so much.

[Host (Burt)]

Good luck.

[Colleen]

Thank you.

[Host (Burt)]

Bye bye.

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