Vault: She Thinks The Guy She's Dating Is A Better Fit For Her Friend?!

Summary

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The Bert Show — Vault: She Thinks The Guy She's Dating Is A Better Fit For Her Friend?!

Date: March 24, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & Cast
Featured Caller: "Aaron's Friend" (name changed, voice disguised)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a compelling listener dilemma: a woman ("Aaron's Friend") has been casually dating a man for six weeks but, after some social media sleuthing, feels a strong spark for one of his close friends who's visiting town for the weekend. The show debates the "friend code," non-exclusivity, jealousy, and whether it's fair (or shady) to pursue romantic interests within friend circles. The hosts toss around advice with their trademark humor and authenticity, opening the lines to listeners for their take on the drama.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Dilemma: Who's a Better Fit?

• Set-Up & Backstory (01:20):
  "Aaron's Friend" explains she’s been seeing a guy for six weeks. They aren’t exclusive (his decision), so she feels somewhat free to see others. She stumbles upon one of his friends on Facebook—“gorgeous and hot and funny”—and feels an instant connection, “I just think ... he might be the perfect guy for me and I haven't stopped thinking about him since I saw that he was coming into town.” (02:14)
• The Urgency:
  The friend is only in town this weekend, giving her a limited window: “I figure I've got tonight to see him ... and then I have tonight to convince him to go on a solo date with me tomorrow …” (03:15)
• Stealth Mode:
  She doesn’t want to approach the friend online, preferring a coincidental meet-up at the spot she’s “investigated” on Facebook. She contemplates whether to mention the mutual connection up front or not. (04:23)

Is It Okay to Pursue a Friend? “The Code” Debate

• Hosts’ Moral Calculus:
  The crew debates friend code/guy code:
  • “Yeah, you’re allowed to date. Just not friends and brothers and stuff like that.” (03:50)
  • “I think the bottom of the issue ... is if your boyfriend today was to have the conversation with you, ‘you know what, let's make it exclusive,’ what do you say?”—testing her commitment and intent. (06:37)
• Aaron's Friend's Defense:
  She maintains, “He’s made it very clear that we’re not exclusive. That’s not my rule.” (03:39)
• Host Pushback:
  Some hosts (especially the main moderator) feel it’s a line you shouldn’t cross regardless, “You’re exclusive, but you can’t date, like, guy friends, and you can’t do that. He breaks the code.” (05:16)

Intentions: Jealousy or Genuine Spark?

• Is it Revenge?
  Co-host wonders, “Is this more of a revenge against him not wanting to be exclusive?” (03:57)
  • Caller replies, “It’s not ... this isn’t really in my nature ... but I really think that [this friend] might be for me.” (04:02)
• Desire for “Love at First Sight”:
  She wants advice on “how to make him fall in love with you… that I could, you know, entice him to ask me on a Solo date to hang out tomorrow.” (04:46)

Strategic Advice and Game Plans

• “Break up with your boyfriend first” (05:03):
  One co-host suggests the cleanest move is to break up with the current guy.
• Host Refusals:
  “I can’t endorse this. Like, I don’t feel like I can give advice because it goes against guy code ...”
• Alternative Tactics:
  Other hosts propose spinning it as a “crazy coincidence”—pretending not to know about the friend connection until later. “She doesn’t even have to address the fact that he and the guy are friends, because she just ends up there ... what a small world.” (05:28)

Listener Call-Ins: The Court of Public Opinion

• Tia (07:38):
  Suggests the caller should “just break up with the boyfriend and talk to the friend.”
• Debate Over Exclusivity:
  Caller is reminded, “She keeps calling him boyfriend, but he's not her boyfriend until they're exclusive.” (08:13)
• Jennifer (08:58):
  Asks, “If she finds out the other guy has a fiancée or girlfriend, is she still gonna go for it?” — The caller insists, “Of course then let it go, I’m not, you know, a home wrecker. I just feel like it’s worth pursuing just in case…” (09:31)
• Paul (09:48):
  Offers resigned wisdom: “She’s gonna do it anyway. There is no real advice. I mean, just do it… Girls have, you know, left me for one of my friends. They're gonna do what they wanna do.” (10:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the "Code":
  • Main Host: "You're allowed to date. Just not friends and brothers and stuff like that." (03:50)
  • Co-host 2: "He's the one being adamant about them not being exclusive..." (05:25)
• On Facebook Stalking:
  • Caller: "Maybe did a little Facebook investigation and know where they're hanging out tonight..." (03:15)
• On the Nature of Her Feelings:
  • Caller: "There's something about this. I know. Like I said, I know it sounds crazy, but I really think that he might be for me." (04:02)
• On Who's Really the Boyfriend:
  • Co-host 2: "She keeps calling him boyfriend, but he's not her boyfriend. Boyfriend until they're exclusive." (08:13)
• Listener Wisdom:
  • Paul: "She’s gonna do it anyway. There is no real advice. I mean, just do it." (10:15)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:20] — Caller introduces the dilemma & her Facebook discovery
• [02:46] — She explains her game plan for meeting "the friend"
• [03:39-05:28] — Spirited debate on “the code” and non-exclusivity
• [06:37] — Host tests the caller’s real feelings with a hypothetical
• [07:38-10:42] — Listener callers weigh in with their advice and experiences

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Tone & Style

The tone is energetic, lighthearted, and a mix of moral brainstorming and playful banter. The hosts alternate between teasing, genuine curiosity, and slightly exasperated disbelief at the romantic triangle forming in real-time. Listeners jump in with candid takes rooted in both experience and empathy.

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Summary

In this episode, The Bert Show dissects a dating dilemma where one woman wonders: is it okay to (strategically) pursue a better-match friend of a guy she’s seeing—as long as they aren’t exclusive? The cast explores modern dating rules, friend “codes,” and the messy reality of feelings that don’t wait for convenient timing. The audience is split between “just go for it” and “don’t cross that line,” but everyone agrees: social media makes nothing simple, and hearts (and codes) don’t always play by the rules.

Transcript

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[Birch Show Host]

The Birch Show.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Aaron here wants to be on the Voice Disguiser and I can't think of a scenario where you only have one weekend take to get a guy interested in you and that's it. Like all the chips are there on the table or you lose out.

[Co-host 1]

Unless he's a military dude, it's the only thing I can think of.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

There you go.

[Co-host 2]

Or in your favorite band coming to town.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, right.

[Caller 1]

True.

[Co-host 2]

This is the only other I can't think of. I can't think of anything why is so urgent.

[Birch Show Host]

Or. Or he's an astronaut and he's going to the space station.

[Co-host 3]

Or he's just going to go ride Mission Mars at Disney World.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

That's probably it. Hey, we're going to call you Aaron and you're on the voice disguise or. Hi.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Hey guys.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Hi. How are you?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Great. How are you? Good.

[Birch Show Host]

Is he an astronaut?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

He is not an astronaut. Although that would be hot.

[Co-host 3]

Is he going to Disney World?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Why do you only have this weekend to get this guy interested in you?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Well, sort of a long story in that I've been seeing this guy for about six weeks now and you know, whatever. I like him and I'm not opposed to only seeing him, but he's made it very clear that we're not exclusive. That's not what what we're doing. So you know Facebook? I don't know if you guys know Facebook, but of course we're friends on it. And you know, Grenada, whatever. So apparently he had some friends visiting this weekend that I saw their conversation on his wall. And this one friend in particular is gorgeous and hot and funny and I just think, as crazy as it sounds, that he might be the perfect guy for me and I haven't stopped thinking about him since I saw that he was coming into town. And I don't know, I think he's a better match for me than this guy I'm dating.

[Birch Show Host]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Alright. So you're dating a guy like real life dating. Like, not Facebook dating. Like, actually have seen him and face

[Co-host 2]

to face, felt the chemistry.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Right, right. So you're digging this guy, but the guy coming into town you think is hotter and more for you?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Yeah, I do. I do. And they're in town this weekend. And, you know, the serendipitous part of it all is that my boyfriend, or whatever, is in a wedding this weekend, and the rehearsal dinner is tonight, and the wedding reception are tomorrow. And then he might try to hang out with these friends Sunday. So I figure I've got tonight to see him because I maybe did a little Facebook investigation and know where they're hanging out tonight.

[Birch Show Host]

Nice.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

You know, my girlfriend's together and just happen to run into each other. And then I figure I have tonight to convince him to go on a solo date with me tomorrow and, of course, fall madly in love with me. And then Sunday, you know, he can hang out with the guy I'm dating, so.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

And you're gonna do this around your current boyfriend's back? You don't think he's gonna find out about any of this?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

The thing is, he has just been very adamant that we're not exclusive. That's not my rule. So. At this point.

[Birch Show Host]

But you're still going after his. His friend?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Yeah, you're allowed to date. Just not friends and brothers and stuff like that.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

I mean, I guess there were no stipulations made.

[Co-host 2]

Is this more of a revenge against him not wanting to be exclusive?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

It's not. The thing is, this isn't. This isn't really in my nature, and I really do. Or like this guy. I mean, whatever. But there's something about this. I know. Like I said, I know it sounds crazy, but I really think that he might be for me.

[Co-host 2]

Have you added. Have you tried to request his friend on Facebook to be your friend?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

I haven't, because I wanted to just happen to run into him, and I figure at some point in the conversation. I don't know. I don't know if it should even come up that we have this mutual friend that I'm sort of dating. I don't know.

[Co-host 1]

So he need. You need him to fall in love with you. First side or first conversation. And you want our advice on how to make him fall in love with you?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Yeah.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Yeah, I know. I figured I get my girlfriends to go and sort of. I guess my question is, you know, what should I do or not do to get him interested in me that I could, you know, entice him to ask me on a Solo date to hang out tomorrow. And then, you know, what's my game plan be to guarantee to stay at that tonight?

[Co-host 3]

I've got an idea. You can break up with your boyfriend first.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Yeah, I can't endorse this. Like, I don't feel like I can give advice because you're. It goes against the guy code. Yeah, you can't. You can't date the dude's friend, but

[Co-host 2]

the guy says they're not exclusive, so she can date whoever she wants.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

You're exclusive, but you can't date, like, guy friends, and you can't do that.

[Birch Show Host]

Why not?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

He breaks the code.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, he's the one being adamant about them.

[Birch Show Host]

And check this out.

[Co-host 2]

Not being exclusive.

[Birch Show Host]

He's. Yeah, he's. It's his rule. And I mean, she's not. She's just gonna end up at the same restaurant or bar, wherever they're all hanging, coincidentally. Waka winky dink. And she's gonna end up there. She doesn't even have to address the fact that he and the guy are friends, because she just ends up there, seeks him out, makes herself available to him, makes it all happen. Saturday night, they go out, and then at some point in the conversation, she's like, oh, my God, you know him. Oh, you know him. Oh, my God. What a small world. Well, it doesn't matter. I don't like him anyways. We're not even exclusive.

[Caller 2]

I love you.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

I don't like it.

[Co-host 1]

How long have you been dating this guy?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Like, six weeks. You know, not six weeks, but not. I mean, I don't think I'm gonna marry him right now, you know, because

[Co-host 1]

I'm just thinking about, like, if you're trying to get a guy's attention or you're trying. Because we've had conversation before where, you know, if you make. To make him jealous or to, you know, you go after the friends. So. We've said that before in the past. And so if she's only been with this guy for six weeks and he doesn't want to date her, they've never officially exclusively dated. Does that still break the code? I don't think so.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

I don't. I don't. Well, here's what I think.

[Co-host 2]

It's a healthy competition.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. Because they were never exclusively Boyfriend. Girlfriend in love.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

I think the bottom of the issue for me is if he. If your boyfriend today was to have the conversation with you. You know what? We've been going out with each other for six weeks now. Let's just. It's just you and me now. What do you think? I don't want to date anybody else. What do you say to him?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

I mean, I suppose that I don't know. I guess I tell him to ask me again Sunday. I don't know.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

So you would make the time so you could be with this other guy this week. You could try it. I don't like it.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

And I definitely didn't go out seeking this other guy. It just so happened that I just kind of found him and I liked him. And I guess I could go tonight and he could totally blow me off. I mean, who's to say? But you guys are supposed to prevent that from happening. This advice you're giving me. But I don't know. I just. I think I like him a lot.

[Co-host 1]

It's up to us.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

All right, hold on one sec. Let me take some calls for you. Go ahead, Brandon. You're part of the bird show. Brandon.

[Co-host 1]

Brandon.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Oh, I don't like him.

[Birch Show Host]

Performance anxiety.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Good morning, Tia. You are on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Okay.

[Co-host 1]

Good.

[Caller 1]

First of all, I want to say I love y' all shouting to y' all show every morning.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Thank you.

[American Express Announcer]

Thank you.

[Caller 1]

Okay, but I think she just. She should just break up with the boyfriend and talk to the friend.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

So you say this goes against the guy code, even though it's. Even though they're not exclusive. Going for the. The friend off limits.

[Caller 1]

Is it not exclusive? And that must mean he really don't want to be with her. So why not go with the friend?

[Co-host 1]

She's saying it's okay to go for the friend.

[Co-host 3]

Still off limits, though. I mean, wouldn't that make it awkward? And, like, if you start a relationship with the friend, it would still be kind of awkward.

[Co-host 2]

She keeps calling him boyfriend, but he's not her boyfriend. Boyfriend until they're exclusive. So this is just a guy she's dating who's saying, I don't want to be exclusive with you. So you know what? Date whoever you want to date. Go out and flirt with whoever you want to flirt with, whether it's his friend or not.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Shady.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

It's still not making any sort. They have no commitment to each other.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

But you don't date. That's shady.

[Birch Show Host]

But what if you can get into it? I'm not saying it's not shady, but I'm just saying this is a good way for her to get into it without them knowing that they're friends. Do you know what I mean? Like, she's not. Even though she's targeting a Friend. She can enter into the relationship conversation without them being friends. So it could end up being a total coinky dink.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Good morning. Jennifer, you're on Q100.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Good morning.

[Caller 1]

I love you guys.

[Co-host 1]

Thank you.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Ditto.

[Caller 1]

I just wanted to find out from this woman, if she finds out that the other guy has a fiance girlfriend, it's just still gonna go for it. She's still gonna try to flirt and make him fall in love with her.

[Birch Show Host]

I mean, well, she would know. She would know if he had a relationship because it would say so on Facebook.

[Co-host 3]

But she's not friends with him.

[Caller 1]

It's not necessarily true.

[Co-host 3]

She's not friends with him on Facebook. So you can only some people have that private.

[Birch Show Host]

That's right.

[Co-host 2]

So you don't know if it's complicated or not.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

So if you found out this week and the dude was in a relationship, would you continue to pursue it or would you let it go?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

No, of course. Then let it go. I mean, I'm not, you know, a home wrecker. I just feel like it's worth pursuing just in case, because I really like this guy, from what I can tell, you know.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

All right, let me take one more call and then I got to get to the Miley thing because it's very hard to sift through the Miley calls right now to get to any solid advice.

[Birch Show Host]

What Miley thing?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Hey, Paul, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Hey, man, just want to say, girls go against the guy code all the time. They don't care. She's going to do what she wants to do anyway. I mean, what if, you know, she's only seen pictures of this guy? What happens if she meets them and, you know, he completely blows her off or something? Totally wrong, you know, she could be risking the relationship with this guy.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

I can't tell what your advice is.

[Caller 2]

You there?

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Yeah, we're here.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I'm just. I mean, she's gonna do it anyway. There is no real advice. I mean, just do it.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Just do it. Just go for it.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I mean, I've. I've been in that same position. Girls have, you know, left me for my. One of my friends. It's. They're gonna do what they wanna do.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

Most are calling, saying, go for it.

[Birch Show Host]

And what if everything goes well and shady and you have the opportunity to

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

do a shady single to get a

[Birch Show Host]

super poke from him? Will you do that?

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

I'll gladly accept the super poke.

[Main Host (Caller Moderator)]

I bet you will. Let's check back with you on Monday and find out what happens. With the friend. Okay, awesome.

[Caller (Aaron's Friend)]

Thank you, guys.

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