Vault: She took an online test for eating disorders

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: She took an online test for eating disorders
Date: June 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show takes on a more serious tone as the cast discusses issues surrounding body image, eating habits, and the potential for eating disorders. The focal point is intern Lauren, who candidly opens up about her history of obsessing over food, weight, and exercise. With input from the hosts, Lauren takes an online eating disorder quiz live on air to explore whether her behaviors and thoughts may indicate an underlying issue. The discussion is honest, sometimes humorous in classic Bert Show fashion, but also deeply personal, providing insight into the complexities of eating disorders and self-perception.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Lauren’s Backstory & Concerns

• Introduction to Lauren’s History:
  • Lauren discusses her past relationship with food – eating fewer than 600 calories a day in high school while running cross country.
  • She admits to ongoing obsession with food, weight, and workout routines.
    (00:30 - 01:17)

"She's told us at one point in her life back in high school that she was eating less than 600 calories a day but she was running cross country also." — D (00:30)

• Family Photo Trigger:
  • Lauren reveals she considered not eating through the holidays to look better in a family Christmas picture. (01:39)

Body Image and Self-Perception

• Insecurity Despite Praise:
  • Lauren acknowledges that while she sometimes likes how she looks in pictures, she often un-tags herself from friends’ photos out of discomfort. (01:51 – 02:03)

"If my friends tag me in pictures, I'll just untag it. Cause I'm like, ew, nobody needs to look at that." — Lauren/C (01:51)

• External vs. Internal Views:
  • The hosts note Lauren’s beauty and thinness, highlighting the disconnect between self-perception and how others see her. (02:03)

The Online Eating Disorder Quiz

Personality Traits & Emotional Patterns

• Perfectionism & Need for Control:

  • Debate on whether Lauren is a perfectionist and overachiever. (02:10 – 02:47)
  • Lauren’s desire for acceptance and difficulty saying no is agreed upon by both herself and her coordinator, Jen/B.

• Self-Judgment and Need for Approval:

  • Lauren is self-critical, sometimes questions her worth, and compares herself to others, particularly regarding appearance. (02:23 – 04:00)

Eating Behaviors & Habits

• Influence of Emotions on Eating/Exercising:
  • Lauren admits to restricting intake or excessive exercise when feeling down, but denies binging/purging. (07:16 – 07:59)

"When you exercise I feel like self accomplishment. Yes." — Lauren/C (07:40)

• Feelings of Guilt and Control:
  • She experiences guilt after eating, especially when joking with her mom about food. (08:31 – 09:06)

"Every time you eat something you joke about it with your mom that you feel guilty for eating." — Jen/B (08:34)

• Dieting, Food Tracking, and Self-Regulation:

  • She once counted calories in high school but doesn’t currently track or follow fad diets, instead tries to “eat healthy.” (09:44 – 10:29)

• Secrecy and Social Behaviors:

  • Lauren is open about her food choices and does not hide her eating habits from others, but hesitates when asked if she’d be concerned if a friend did the same. (11:06 – 11:52)

"If somebody was sitting where you are right now and the exact same words were coming out... Okay. I would say yes." — Lauren/C (11:51)

Physical and Psychological Symptoms

• Physical Health:

  • Denies physical symptoms often associated with disordered eating (fatigue, bruising, menstrual irregularities, etc.). (12:57 – 14:06)

• Psychological Health:

  • Denies feeling numb, empty, hopeless, or experiencing mood swings/depression. Acknowledges occasional anxiety but nothing severe. (05:22 – 06:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Self-Image and Social Media:

  “If my friends tag me in pictures, I'll just untag it. Cause I'm like, ew, nobody needs to look at that.” — Lauren/C (01:51)

• On Eating Guilt and Family Dynamics:

  “Every time you eat something you joke about it with your mom that you feel guilty for eating.” — Jen/B (08:34)

• Hosts Lightening the Mood:

  • Making jokes about quiz questions mixing fatigue and suicidal ideation.

  "You can't put fatigued and suicidal in this one." — Jen/B (06:29)

• Reflection & Honesty Checks:

  • Hosts calling out Lauren for hesitancy or denial, encouraging honest self-reflection.

  "You are so lying on that one." — Jen/B (11:38) "Are we talking you into an answer or you really believe. Yes." — Host/D (11:43)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Lauren’s Story & Concerns: 00:30 – 01:39
• Intro to Eating Disorder Quiz: 01:39 – 02:10
• Personality & Emotional Traits Questions: 02:10 – 05:22
• Eating Behaviors & Habits Questions: 07:16 – 11:52
• Physical & Psychological Symptoms Questions: 12:57 – 14:06

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Tone and Atmosphere

The tone is conversational with a mix of lighthearted teasing and serious reflection. The hosts balance support with humor while probing deeper into Lauren’s answers to the quiz, facilitating a candid look at disordered eating traits and the ambiguities of self-perception.

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Conclusion

The episode shines a light on the complex interplay between body image, eating habits, and mental health, through a real-time exploration of an online eating disorder quiz. Lauren’s openness, matched with gentle (and sometimes humorous) probing by the hosts, underscores how common and complicated food and body image issues can be, especially among young women. The segment fosters empathy, awareness, and encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationships with food and self-image.

Transcript

[A]

Okay, I have a business question for you. Where did you get your domain on wix?

[B]

It was really easy.

[A]

Was it actually easy or are you exaggerating? No, really, it took like 90 seconds. I even built a full website.

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

I just used wix. Harmony just told it what I wanted, and it built a fully functional website for me in minutes. It also comes with hosting security, privacy protection, everything.

[B]

Oh, cool.

[A]

Yeah. Check it [e-mail] domains.

[D]

Nobody does it better than Regent Seven Seas Cruises. Enjoy all inclusive, unrivaled luxury with unlimited shore excursions, indulgent cuisine, personalized service, and more aboard spacious all suite ships. Visit rssc.com to experience the unrivaled. Hey, the bird show. So things kind of get a little heavy here. We've got intern Lauren on with us, who has confessed to us, like, she obsesses with about food and weight and working out all the time. She's told us at one point in her life back in high school that she was eating less than 600 calories a day, but she was running cross country also. So I don't even know how you did. You couldn't have been good at it.

[C]

Well, no, I did cross country my sophomore year, and then I stopped doing cross country. I just worked out on my own the rest of my high school.

[D]

So a whole bunch of people are calling, saying there's a lot of red flags. She's saying when she's sort of describing her life, that she might have an eating disorder. So what I found online here real quick is a brief survey that we'll have you take right now. And then by the end of it, it may just give you an indication that, look, you're fine. Maybe you're not so different than a whole bunch of other women. Or maybe something you want to look into a little bit more.

[B]

And this all started because Lauren was going to take a Christmas picture with her family and was not going to eat through the holidays because she wanted to look at in the picture. And my question is, have you ever seen a picture of yourself and thought, I look really good in that picture?

[C]

Yeah, I have, like, a few pictures that I see, but a lot of them, like, if my friends tag me in pictures, I'll just untag it. Cause I'm like, ew, nobody needs to look at that. And are those current pictures? Yeah, definitely current right now.

[B]

And for everybody who doesn't know what you look like, Lauren is beautiful and very thin. So, yes, you're thinking about it. It's the way she's looking at herself.

[D]

Okay. Are you a perfectionist? A person who always wants to be in control? An overachiever and or do you think no matter what you do it is never enough? Yes, no or maybe no?

[C]

Because I would not consider myself an overachiever at all.

[B]

I would consider you a perfectionist.

[D]

That's the problem with some of these questions. Is there like three things in there you could answer yes to some and no to others. Are you a perfectionist or person who always wants to be in control? An overachiever?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Or how do you know she's an overachiever?

[B]

Because she's been interning for us and I'm her intern coordinator.

[D]

So you see how great she does everything? Yes.

[B]

She does a really, really great job and she's like very detail orient and a total perfectionist. So I'm answering for her.

[C]

Sorry,

[B]

I'm like your big sister over here.

[D]

Jen, let me ask this question of you for Lauren. Do you find that you seek or desire acceptance and or approval from people and or that you have a hard time saying no? Yes. No. Maybe.

[C]

Yes. I hate when people say no.

[D]

Jen, do you agree with that?

[B]

I would agree.

[D]

Do you find that you are always questioning your own judgments and or actions and or do you scrutinize yourself over small faults?

[C]

I would say maybe.

[D]

Maybe.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Again, this is a survey I found online that basically says do I have an eating disorder? It's a quiz you can take. Do you think you are not good enough, stupid and or worthless or that people are always judging you in a negative way? Honest?

[C]

I'd say maybe.

[D]

Okay. Do you hide your feelings and or opinions from people for fear of being judged negatively and or do you feel like a burden to others with your problems? Yes. No. Maybe?

[C]

No. I talk about my problems all the time.

[D]

Okay. Within your family and or circle of friends, are you considered the strong one who everyone will come to with problems?

[C]

I'd say maybe. I have a certain group of friends that would come to me. But others, I don't really think they would care to say anything sort in

[D]

the middle of the road?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you think life would be better and or people would like you more if you were thin or thinner?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Do you find yourself often comparing your appearance and weight to other strangers and or models and actors?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You got to stay away from that bachelor show. Do you continuously feel that you are overweight even though others have told you that you are not?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Do family members and or friends often express concern for your weight loss or gain your appearance and or your eating habits?

[C]

Um, my mom does jokingly, because I joke to her, like, oh, my God, I feel so guilty about eating that. But nobody.

[D]

But didn't in high school you say that people were saying.

[C]

It was just my boyfriend at the time. He was saying something, but nobody else really said anything at the time.

[D]

Where we going with that? Yes. No. Or maybe.

[C]

Maybe.

[D]

Do you think everyone's problems are more important than your own? Or do you belittle your own emotions and pain?

[C]

No.

[D]

Do you often feel numb or empty inside, like your life lacks fulfillment and happiness, like something is missing or there's a void inside?

[C]

No.

[D]

Oh, my God. I've got an eating disorder.

[C]

I do.

[D]

Do you feel as though you have a conscience or voice that tells you negative things about yourself, convinces you that you do not deserve to eat and. Or be happy?

[C]

No.

[D]

Examining yourself and how you feel, do you believe that you may suffer from anorexia, bulima, or compulsive overeating or any combination of the three?

[C]

No.

[D]

Do you suffer from bouts of depression, hopelessness and. Or lack of motivation? And do you find your own problems overwhelming and hard to handle?

[C]

Not really.

[D]

Are you depressed, suicidal, stressed out and. Or fatigued and do you.

[B]

Jeez, fatigued and suicidal.

[D]

I know, right?

[B]

Different things. That question is crap.

[D]

And there's more. You suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, mood swings, rage and. Or insomnia.

[C]

I'd say I get anxiety, but none of the other things.

[D]

Should I just put maybe on that one?

[C]

Well, no, because I'm not suicidal. Okay.

[D]

That's a tough one to answer because there's so many in there.

[B]

Yeah, you can't put fatigued and suicidal in this one.

[D]

All right, we're almost done with the cause.

[C]

We're fatigued. Right. Me and Jen. Are we having eating disorders too?

[D]

Are you tired and. Or have ever felt like killing somebody? What it's like. Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression, attentive, Attentive deficit disorder, manic depression, bipolar 2 disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or any other psychological, neurological illness or just had a cold?

[C]

No.

[D]

Okay, that's the first part. Now we're into section B. There are three sections, and it goes faster from here.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Do you eat, self starve or restrict, binge or purge and. Or compulsively exercise when you are feeling lonely, badly about yourself or about a situation?

[C]

Yes, to some.

[D]

While eating self, starving or binging and. Or purging, do you feel comforted, relieved, like emotional pressures have been lifted, or like you are in more control.

[C]

Well, I don't binge and purge so self starving. But when you exercise I feel like self accomplishment. Yes.

[D]

You feel like you have more control?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Do you feel guilty following a binge and or purge episode? You don't do any of those?

[C]

No.

[D]

When eating I've always that the thought of purging or throwing up like that hurts so much.

[B]

It's not about food, it's about control.

[D]

Yeah, right. When eating, do you ever feel out of control or like you will lose control and not be able to stop? And do you try to avoid eating because of this fear?

[C]

No.

[D]

Do you typically feel guilty after a binge or any or after any snack or meal and like you have almost instantly gained weight like you're a failure and or like you have sabotaged yourself?

[C]

I do, but I don't think I binge on meals so.

[B]

But you just said you every time you eat something you joke about it with your mom that you feel guilty for eating. So that's a yes. I'm sorry, I'm answering for you again. I shut up for a little while.

[D]

Do you use self starvation purging diet pills, laxative, diuretics and or obsessive exercise as a way to attempt to lose weight Exercise? Yes. Do you drink a lot of water to your coffee, Eat a lot of candy or junk food and or gum, smoke and or take caffeine pills?

[C]

I drink water and coffee, none of the other things.

[D]

And is the coffee to control appetite and feel more energetic?

[C]

No.

[D]

Okay. Do you abuse alcohol, drugs or prescription medication and or practice in self hurting behavior such as cutting?

[C]

I drink occasionally but that's about it.

[D]

So I put maybe on that deal.

[C]

Well, I don't cut myself.

[D]

You don't say you abuse alcohol?

[C]

No, I don't.

[D]

Okay. Do you weigh yourself often and does the number on the scale dictate your mood and or self worth for the day? No. Are you constantly on a diet and are counting calories and fat grams and or do you feel like you've tried every fad diet or lose weight quick scheme?

[C]

No.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

I'm. No, because I say that I'm not on a diet. I eat healthy. I've never been on like any crazy diet though. I've never tried any.

[B]

You just told us that you eat.

[C]

I mean I eat more than six. No, I mean like I said calories a day in high school but that was like I was eating fruit. I wasn't like eating like a specific meal.

[D]

Yeah, that was 600 calories of fruit. That's healthy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just saying, Jen, every day

[E]

I

[B]

feel like I just inhaled 600 calories by breathing.

[D]

Do you set weight goals for yourself only to find that when you reach it that you want to lose more weight?

[C]

Generally I don't really don't weigh myself. I heard Wendy say that she was like fit. Well, she put on her clothes and they fit better. When I think of like weight loss, I think of it like that. I don't weigh myself.

[D]

So no to that.

[C]

Right.

[D]

Do you do any of the following hide and or steal food?

[C]

No.

[D]

Laxatives and. Or diet pills?

[C]

No.

[D]

Eat and. Or exercise secretively?

[C]

No.

[D]

Avoid eating in public around others?

[C]

No.

[D]

Wear clothes that hide your weight?

[C]

Maybe Sometimes.

[D]

Okay. And. Or make excuses like I don't feel well to avoid meals?

[C]

No.

[D]

So the. Wear the clothes to hide your weight. 1. Yes. So I'll just put maybe to it.

[B]

That's a lot.

[C]

Yeah. I'd say no.

[D]

You'd say no to that?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you secretive about your eating practices? Do you think they are abnormal and. Or would you avoid recommending your methods to a family member or friend?

[C]

But like I tell everybody what I eat.

[D]

Are you secretive about your eating practices?

[C]

I'm not secretive. I tell everybody.

[D]

And do you avoid recommending your methods to a family member or friend?

[C]

No.

[D]

Would you worry about a friend or family member that came to you with similar weight loss coping methods?

[C]

Um. No.

[B]

You are lying.

[D]

You are lying.

[B]

You are so lying on that one.

[D]

If you have to hesitate there.

[C]

Okay. Yes.

[D]

Are we talking you into an answer or you really believe. Yes.

[C]

I'd say no. I mean, I don't know.

[D]

So if somebody was sitting where you are right now and the exact same words were coming out.

[C]

Okay. I would say yes.

[D]

Say yes. Do you lie about your eating behaviors, hide them from others at all costs and. Or would you lie or steal to. To see or would you lie or steal to see? They could continue.

[C]

No.

[D]

Poorly written. Do you lie about your eating behaviors, hide them from others at all costs?

[C]

No.

[D]

No. Do you use self injury as a way to cope with things?

[C]

No.

[D]

Like burning yourself or pulling out your own hair?

[C]

No.

[B]

Ow.

[D]

Do you spend a lot of time obsessively cooking for others or reading recipes?

[C]

Well, I like to cook, but that's not.

[D]

Do you spend a lot of time obsessively cooking for others or reading recipes and. Or studying the nutritional information on food?

[C]

I would say the last part, yes. But everything else, no.

[D]

Okay. There are just a few left here, like five left. But I still think it's pretty important. Are you temperature sensitive, always feel cold or hot

[C]

in a specific degree? Like.

[D]

What do you mean temperature sensitive? Always feel cold or hot and. Or do you get a tingling in your extremes?

[C]

No.

[D]

Or extremities? I'm sorry. Do you find that you bruise easily?

[C]

No.

[D]

What?

[B]

I was laughing. It's tingling in your extremes. I'm sorry. My teenage boy over here, laughing.

[D]

That's your goal. Every day, different test. Shan.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

Wait, what are we taking photos about?

[D]

Do you find that you bruise easily and have a very high tolerance for pain?

[C]

No.

[D]

Are you unrealistically tired relative to the amount of energy expended?

[C]

No.

[D]

Do you suffer.

[B]

Geez.

[D]

Any of the following heart palpitations or chest pains, fainting spells, blackouts or dizziness, chronic lower back pain, headaches or light headiness?

[C]

No.

[D]

And do you suffer any of the following disruption of menstrual cycle and or irregularity, infertility, decreased sex drive, irritability?

[C]

No.

[D]

Lack of ability to concentrate, blurred vision?

[C]

No.

[D]

Dental problems?

[C]

No.

[D]

Insomnia?

[C]

No.

[D]

Fatigue?

[C]

No.

[D]

Anxiety or depression?

[C]

No.

[D]

Okay, that's it. All right. Let me play a couple of commercials because we're way behind, and then we'll have your results after commercials. Okay. All right, the third show.

[E]

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