Vault: She Want An Update On Her Ex?!

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: She Want An Update On Her Ex?!"

Release Date: November 14, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Primary Hosts & Guests: Mila Birch (Host), Sandra Hope (Private Investigator from MateCheck PI), Ellen (Listener/Guest), Ging, Jay, Alexandra, Knox

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show crew revisits a dramatic listener story in their "dating antichrist" series. Ellen, a past guest, wants an update on a notorious ex-boyfriend whose past was filled with red flags and troubling behavior. With the help of private investigator Sandra Hope, the team uncovers new details about his criminal record and current status. Throughout the episode, the hosts offer insight, humor, and empathetic commentary as Ellen bravely revisits her past.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction of Sandra Hope, Private Investigator

• Mila Birch welcomes Sandra Hope from MateCheck PI, highlighting the increasing number of listeners seeking her PI services for family searches, adoption cases, and covert recordings (01:03-02:51).
• Sandra Hope (01:36): "I can do anything. You can go on my website...if for some reason something's not on there, give me a call. I'm sure I can accommodate you."
• Sandra explains the "covert decoy" service and frequent requests she receives, both for infidelity and for tracking down estranged relatives.

2. Ellen's Relationship with the "Dating Antichrist": Recap

• The show recaps Ellen’s previous relationship, marked by alarming events: gun violence, betrayal, and deceit (03:35-05:10).

• Ellen recounts (03:35):

  • On their first date, he confesses to having legal trouble for shooting at a car during road rage.
  • She finds him intimately involved with her best friend.
  • Discovers photos of other women on his camera and learns he misled her about his job—he worked for an escort service.
  • The final straw: an explosive argument over a phone number, where he accuses her of cheating and threatens violence.

• Ellen (03:55): "Woke up to him and my best friend on the couch right next to me having, you know, their little fun."

• Mila Birch (05:10): "That’s what makes a dating antichrist a dating antichrist..."

3. Listener Vulnerability & Reflection

• The discussion touches on the shame and confusion people feel after toxic relationships (05:28-05:43).
• Mila Birch (05:30): "It still hurts to acknowledge that you were that person."

4. Sandra Hope’s Findings: Unpacking the Ex’s Criminal Past

• Sandra reviews public records and shares a detailed breakdown of the ex’s criminal history (06:17-13:13).

• Sandra Hope on Ex's Charges (06:33):

  • Multiple arrests for drug-related offenses (possession of marijuana, paraphernalia).
  • Carrying concealed weapons.
  • First arrest in 1998 for possession of tobacco while underage.
  • Repeated drug-related charges between 1998 and early 2000s, all in Florida.
  • Never had any criminal offenses in Georgia, where he lives now.

• Memorable Exchange:

  • Jay (09:07): "Ellen, obviously you knew about [the gun] because you've seen his gun on more than one occasion. Once at the gas station, and once when he put a hole in a Ford Mustang."
  • Sandra Hope (10:25): "He has no vehicles in his name...that blue Chevy truck he was driving, whoever it was, it wasn't his."
  • Ellen (11:04): "[I] did [know his sister]."

• The ex now lives with his mother in Georgia, has no job, and owns no car (11:15-12:07).

• Sandra Hope (11:15): "Right now. He’s absolutely doing nothing. He’s living in Georgia and he’s living at his mother’s house with his mother. And he doesn’t have a vehicle and he doesn’t have a job."

• Jay (11:26): "It sounds to me like...his mama pulled him out of Florida, got him in Georgia and now she is watching him like a hawk."

5. Reflecting on Red Flags & Hindsight

• The hosts and Ellen discuss how easy it is to ignore warning signs in an unhealthy relationship and how her mother’s instincts proved correct (12:12-12:32).
• Ellen (12:24): "We’re good now. We got through a rough time there, but we’re good now."
• Jay (12:30): "You trust her judgment just a little more nowadays, right?"
• Ellen (12:32): "Yeah, a little bit."

6. Lingering Questions & the Power of Letting Go

• The crew presses Ellen on whether she suspected his past, and discuss how people with troubled histories can sometimes hide their worst behavior (11:55-12:04).
• Jay and Sandra point out that, just because charges stopped, doesn’t mean he stopped bad behavior; he might just have gotten better at hiding it.

7. Ellen’s Current Perspective and Moving On

• Listeners call in with questions:

  • Alexandra (15:03): "What did she do to her best friend?"
  • Ellen (15:08): "I didn't do anything."
  • Ellen is no longer friends with her former best friend after multiple betrayals (15:12).

• The segment wraps up with hosts reassuring Ellen that her dodgy ex’s life has not improved and that she is better off (15:32-15:55).

• Mila Birch (15:47): "So consider yourself semi lucky, okay?"

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sandra Hope (06:20): "When he told you that you had potential, he probably meant you had a good potential of maybe being a good drop house."
• Ginger (09:40): "Oh, see, so he really cleaned up his act when you two were together, with the exception of having sex with the girl four feet from you while you were sleeping. I mean, he was really a stand up guy."
• Alexandra (15:03): "What did she do to her best friend?"
• Ellen (15:08): "I didn't do anything."
• Mila Birch (15:47): "So consider yourself semi lucky, okay?"

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Important Timestamps

• 01:03-02:51: Sandra Hope introduces her PI services and mentions the types of cases she handles.
• 03:35-05:10: Ellen recounts “dating antichrist” behavior and betrayal.
• 06:17-13:13: Sandra Hope details the ex’s criminal history, addresses Ellen’s questions, and discusses his current status.
• 11:15-12:07: Confirmation that ex now lives with his mother in Georgia, with no job or car.
• 12:12-12:32: Ellen discusses her improved relationship with her mother.
• 15:03-15:12: Discussion of Ellen’s fallout with ex-best friend.
• 15:32-15:55: Hosts offer final advice and reassurance to Ellen.

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Episode Takeaways

• Escaping Toxicity: Ellen’s story is a cautionary tale about ignoring red flags and the difficulty of walking away from toxic relationships.
• Self-Reflection & Recovery: Both Ellen and the hosts share the long-term effects of such relationships and the relief that comes with finally seeing the truth.
• Community & Support: The segment closes with support from both the hosts and callers, reinforcing that Ellen—and anyone in similar circumstances—is not alone.

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Overall:
A classic Bert Show blend of humor, empathy, and real talk, balancing entertainment with an honest look at toxic relationships and personal growth. Ellen’s willingness to revisit her painful past offers listeners validation and encouragement to trust their instincts, lean on loved ones, and move forward.

Transcript

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[Ellen]

Can I make my site softer?

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[Mila Birch]

The Birch Show. All right, before we get Ellen back on here, I want to get Sandra on from Matecheck PI, who we are using quite a bit now for our dating antichrist. But hey, Sandra, how are you this morning?

[Sandra Hope]

I'm doing just fine. How are you doing?

[Mila Birch]

Good. You know, the last time that we had you on, I got a bunch of emails from people that thought maybe the only thing that you did was that whole covert dating thingy, thing, right? And I got a lot of emails from people asking if you find like, relatives that they haven't seen in a while. Do you do, like, adoption cases, stuff like that?

[Sandra Hope]

I can do anything. You can go on my [e-mail] say all the services that I offer, for some reason something's not on there, give me a call. I'm sure I can accommodate you.

[Knox]

Okay.

[Mila Birch]

And once again, explain to people the last time we had John what that whole covert recording thing is that you do.

[Sandra Hope]

A covert decoy?

[Mila Birch]

That's the one.

[Sandra Hope]

Yeah. Well, that's just the one where, you know, you get wired up and you would maybe go to a radio station where maybe a guy was pretending he was on on the morning show and maybe you'd meet him out in the parking lot and drop my purse and have everything fall out of it. And maybe that nice guy would help me pick it up, start a conversation, see if he'd take me out, and everything would be on a button cam, video and audio. And I take that radio announcer's tape and video right back to his little wife sitting at home, probably still sleeping early in the morning, and give it to her.

[Mila Birch]

So, I mean, and every time we have you on, we get emails from people going, how do I get in touch with Sandra? I really want to do this.

[Ginger]

And just so you know, if you're in the parking lot and you drop your purse and Bert and I both ignore you like you've got the Ebola.

[Sandra Hope]

Virus, now you know why that's just so rude.

[Mila Birch]

I. Alexandra, hold on one sec. We'll come back to you in just a minute, okay?

[Sandra Hope]

All righty.

[Mila Birch]

And once again, all of her information is up [e-mail] anything that you would hire a private investigator for. But I'm getting like this. This groundswell of emails from people going, look, I have a relative that I want to find. Or I was adopted, and I have hired agencies and they've never been able to help me out. Sandra over at Maycheck might be able to help you out. For those that weren't listening, this morning at around 7:30, we had Ellen on, and she detailed for us this relationship that she's had with this dating Antichrist. Now, it was three years ago, but she still has this burning desire to know exactly what he's up to. And this is about 90 seconds of the conversation we had with her detailing exactly why she consider considers him the dating Antichrist.

[Ellen]

I met him through a friend from work, and she came in the next day asking me questions because he said that I had potential. During the first date, he tells me that he had been in trouble with the law because he had an issue with road ra and shot a Mustang driving down the interstate.

[Ginger]

So he's got potential too.

[Ellen]

On Halloween, because I hadn't seen my friends in a while, we invited my best friend over to the house. We were going to just hang out at his house, you know, have some drinks. And that way I'd just be able to see my friend and woke up to him and my best friend on the couch right next to me having, you know, their little fun.

[Jay]

God.

[Ellen]

I looked through his digital camera one day while he was gone, and he had pictures, number one of my best friend at her house.

[Jay]

Oh, no.

[Ellen]

And of some girl in a little skimpy outfit laying on a couch that I'd never seen before. His job was not exactly what he had said it was. He actually worked for an escort Service final straw was I had a number of a guy written down on a piece of paper on the dresser. It was a guy that I was supposed to have a job interview with. And he saw the number and went completely, absolutely berserk, accusing me of cheating and calling me a horrible person for trying to cheat on him and actually acted like he was going to hit me. And that was the final point when I left and never went back.

[Mila Birch]

And that's what makes a dating antichrist a dating antichrist. Like in most relationships when you get a little bit older, any one of those offenses, you'd have pulled out, right? That's it. But here she is. And I mean, there are three or four different things here where you're looking back at the relationship and you're like, I can't believe I stayed in it.

[Alexandra]

You know, it's embarrassing to even admit.

[Mila Birch]

Those stories, even years later. I mean, when you're past it just to think that you were that person that stayed in that relationship or put yourself in that position, it still hurts to acknowledge that you were that person. Hey, Ellen.

[Jay]

Hey.

[Mila Birch]

Boy, do you sound fired up. We said earlier this morning, a guy like this, we don't think has completely turned himself around. I mean, if he's pulling out guns at gas stations and randomly shooting Ford Mustangs.

[Jay]

Yeah. Like he's hunting on the interstate.

[Mila Birch]

Now you have not heard from him and you have no idea what this guy has been up to the last three years? Ellen?

[Jay]

No.

[Mila Birch]

Okay. Well, let me introduce you to Sandra from Mate Check Private Investigators, and she's been doing a little research, and we can all find out here exactly what he's been going through. Okay.

[Sandra Hope]

Okay. Hi, Ellen.

[Ellen]

Hi.

[Sandra Hope]

Well, probably when he told you that you had potentials, he probably meant you had a good potential of maybe in a good dropout. That's what he could have meant.

[Mila Birch]

What is a dropout for those that don't know, like, what's a dropout?

[Sandra Hope]

Well, a lot of his charges, or most of them, have to do with drugs and drugs. Possession of tobacco drugs, possession of paraphernalia, carrying concealed weapons, possessions of marijuana, possession of paraphernalia. Again, so he probably needed somewhere to. Obviously he was selling drugs, so he probably was thinking she might be a good drop house, which would be a good place to drop the drugs to sell them.

[Mila Birch]

How many arrests are we talking about? You just rattled off a whole bunch of them right there.

[Sandra Hope]

What are you talking about? Five.

[Mila Birch]

Five arrests.

[Sandra Hope]

We're talking from 1998 on.

[Jay]

Well, the difference is she moved in with him like she left home to go with him.

[Mila Birch]

It was a drop house, but it was his drop house.

[Jay]

His mom's. That's right now.

[Sandra Hope]

Right. Which. He owns a house with his mother.

[Mila Birch]

He does, yes.

[Jay]

Okay, now I'm. You said from 98 on. So, Ellen, when did y' all break up? What year did you break up?

[Ellen]

We broke up in 2003.

[Jay]

Okay, so he'd already been charged on some of these things by the time you met him?

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Ginger]

Did you know any of that, Ellen?

[Ellen]

No.

[Mila Birch]

Let's go through these one by one, Sandra.

[Sandra Hope]

Okay.

[Mila Birch]

The first one in 98 was for.

[Sandra Hope]

Possession of tobacco products.

[Mila Birch]

What does that mean?

[Jay]

What is wrong with that?

[Sandra Hope]

They've got them on something, you know, pulled him over, he's doing something shady. Probably couldn't catch him on what they really wanted to. So they write up something ridiculous. Because that was his first one.

[Ginger]

What is like tobacco products? Is that like.

[Sandra Hope]

You know, even if he had cigarettes or any tobacco, you know, and they caught him at the time, it doesn't mean at trial that's what happened.

[Ginger]

Oh, and he's underage, because if this is his first charge.

[Sandra Hope]

Right.

[Ginger]

He's underage.

[Mila Birch]

Oh, I got you. I got you.

[Jay]

All right, cool.

[Ginger]

Forgetting that he was only 23 when.

[Mila Birch]

All right, so the first one's kind of superficial. They probably thought that when they pulled him over, they were going to get something else in the car, so they had to write him for something. Okay.

[Sandra Hope]

Or they knew more, but could only prove, which is a lot of times what happened.

[Ginger]

Okay.

[Mila Birch]

All right, how about the next one?

[Sandra Hope]

And then he had a possession of paraphernalia, and he had that in 2000.

[Mila Birch]

And what's that like?

[Sandra Hope]

Probably a crack pipe, a marijuana pipe, some kind of paraphernalia to smoke something out of or do a line or whatever.

[Mila Birch]

Gotcha.

[Sandra Hope]

Some drug usage material, evidence kit. I don't know. The next one, he was carrying a concealed weapon, of course, without a permit.

[Mila Birch]

All right, that one, Ellen, obviously you knew about because you've seen his gun on more than one occasion. Once at the gas station, and once when he put a hole in a Ford Mustang.

[Sandra Hope]

And then he had possession of marijuana.

[Alexandra]

Was that when Ellen was dating him? What year was that?

[Sandra Hope]

2,000.

[Mila Birch]

So now we're getting close to when you were dating him.

[Sandra Hope]

Yeah, nothing shows up when he was dating her because the last time is later in the 2000 year. Possession of paraphernalia again.

[Ginger]

Oh, see, so he really cleaned up his act when you two were together, with the exception of having sex. With the girl four feet from you while you were sleeping. I mean, he was really a stand up guy.

[Alexandra]

Can you really count that?

[Sandra Hope]

Well, no.

[Ginger]

Cause he didn't get charged with anything.

[Sandra Hope]

You know, what I can tell you is just because he hasn't been caught, he has a pattern. And just within that short period of time, five of those. And that was in Florida, what it looks like to me he only has lived in Florida and Georgia and he had all those arrests in Florida. It looks like something happened in Florida where he was not being the best person that he could be. He moved to Georgia, his mother put him on the house. He has a house with his mother. And he either A, has straightened up, B, has not been caught.

[Mila Birch]

Is there any way that you can tell us like what he does for a living or the kind of income he has or anything like that?

[Sandra Hope]

No, I didn't get this case in time for any more than this. It was kind of late when I received this case. I guess somebody over there is out of town. But I didn't have time to motor vehicle search because that takes about a week to get back. I can tell you that he has a sister and that he has no vehicles in his name. So I can tell you that this. She put a blue Chevy truck he was driving. Whoever it was, it wasn't his. Wasn't Adams.

[Mila Birch]

Did you know her? His sister?

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[Mila Birch]

And I'm trying to think what. What else to ask you that you might. That might give her some kind of sense of what's going on in his life now.

[Sandra Hope]

Nothing. Right now. He's absolutely doing nothing. He's living in Georgia and he's living at his mother's house with his mother. And he doesn't have a vehicle and he doesn't have a job.

[Jay]

See, it sounds. Yeah, it sounds to me like he got in a lot of trouble in Florida. It wasn't him moving up here to try to clean up his life. His mama pulled him out of Florida, got him in Georgia and now she is watching him like a hog.

[Ginger]

Maybe his mom is cut from the same cloth as that Jeremy guy's wife. And she's got an allowance. He's not allowed to have an ABA card. He's got any chores around the house.

[Mila Birch]

Did you have something, Jay?

[Alexandra]

I was gonna ask Ellen if she's surprised that all these arrests had happened before they ever dated.

[Ellen]

No, not really.

[Alexandra]

Did you know about him though?

[Ellen]

I didn't know about him, no. But I kind of, from the way things were, suspected that he had probably been in a Lot more trouble.

[Mila Birch]

Yeah, I mean, the dude's driving around escorts for a living.

[Sandra Hope]

Did you ever notice him doing drugs?

[Ellen]

No.

[Jay]

Let me ask about. Because you said you left your mom's house to move in with him because your mom didn't want you to be with him. Now, how do you. What's your mom's. You're in your mom's relationship, like, now?

[Ellen]

We're good now. We got through a rough time there, but we're good now.

[Jay]

You trust her judgment just a little more nowadays, right?

[Ellen]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Mila Birch]

Do you ever ask her, like, you know, what is it about this guy that you see that I can't. He seems, like, so great to me.

[Sandra Hope]

You know, somebody sleeping right in front of you with your girlfriend on the couch. Probably it's just about time to pack up and go, right?

[Mila Birch]

And that's the thing about a dating Antichrist, is that you can see it just for whatever reason, they have this gravitational pull, and you can't pull yourself away. All right, so, Ellen, we don't have much more for you, except just knowing that the dude has already started to build a ninth length, lengthy list of a criminal record. And he was definitely doing drugs, and he was into some pretty nasty stuff while you guys were going out.

[Alexandra]

And now he's living with mom. No car, no job that's got.

[Sandra Hope]

If you were to stay with him, that's what you would have had, is you would have been going over and seen him at his mother's house, and you'd probably have to drive, and you'd probably be driving around to pick up the next score.

[Jay]

Is that. Is that how it was when you dated him, though? Because he was living with your mom, his mom when you dated him?

[Sandra Hope]

Yeah.

[Ellen]

Well, yeah, he was living there, but he had, you know, he was one that always drove because he had some car.

[Sandra Hope]

Well, that wasn't him. So anyways, maybe, you know, he was doing drugs for somebody, they let him borrow the car. But he does not have a car in his name or hasn't in the past, because I pull up all the way back, had a car actually in his name. Okay, so you were driving around in some. Some other guy's car, but he had.

[Mila Birch]

A solid job, you know, driving around the escorts. He had that going for him.

[Alexandra]

Maybe he's still doing that.

[Jay]

Yeah, and maybe he was shooting that Mustang to get it to wreck so that he could jump in and take it for himself.

[Sandra Hope]

Or maybe that Mustang was some kind of an escort car they let him use to go pick up, you know, Some girls or do something.

[Mila Birch]

It could be one of them. A whole bunch of things.

[Sandra Hope]

Yeah.

[Mila Birch]

All right.

[Ginger]

Or maybe he's just a stand up guy and just hasn't properly filed the paperwork so he could be taxed.

[Mila Birch]

And.

[Ginger]

And I'm sure he's gonna get square with the irs.

[Mila Birch]

I'm sure.

[Sandra Hope]

Oh, well, that is perfect. I forgot to tell you that he is right on key. I'm just kidding.

[Mila Birch]

All right, Sandra, thanks a lot.

[Sandra Hope]

No problem. Have a nice day.

[Mila Birch]

Appreciate all your help. Again, that's Sandra Hope from Mate Check. We probably didn't give her the case in enough time to get more stuff because I want to know what's going on now. Like finding this stuff on what happened to him while they were going out is one thing. I want to know that he's just a big ass loser right now.

[Jay]

But didn't she say that now he's still living with his mom and he doesn't have a. So to me it's status quo. Like he's doing the same thing he did then and her future with him would just be sitting in mama's basement.

[Mila Birch]

Hey, Ginger. Good morning.

[Ellen]

Good morning.

[Mila Birch]

Hey, you have a question for Ellen?

[Alexandra]

Yeah.

[Ellen]

What did she do to her best friend?

[Alexandra]

Good question, Ellen.

[Ellen]

I didn't do anything.

[Ginger]

Are you still friends with her?

[Ellen]

No, we were at first. And then after I started dating the guy that I'm with now, she wanted to meet him and I realized that I definitely couldn't do it.

[Mila Birch]

I have a feeling that we should be doing some kind of background check on the guy that you're dating now. I don't know why. I just have this feeling that something's going on there also. All right, Ginger, thank you for calling.

[Knox]

Thank you.

[Mila Birch]

And Ellen, I'm sorry we didn't get more stuff about what is going on in his life now. What you do know is while you were going out with him, he had his hands into a whole bunch of nasty stuff. And you just know that he's still not working, still just sitting on the couch over at his mom's house.

[Ellen]

All right, all right.

[Mila Birch]

So consider yourself semi lucky, okay?

[Alexandra]

It's like Will Ferrell and Wedding Crashers.

[Sandra Hope]

Mom.

[Mila Birch]

Mila the Birch Show.

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[Ellen]

Can I make my site softer?

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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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