Vault: She Wants A Re-Do Proposal

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – She Wants A Re-Do Proposal

Date: December 9, 2025
Host: Bert Show Cast (including Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and various co-hosts)
Main Guest: Jamie (pseudonym)
Key Problem: Jamie discovers her fiancé, "John," proposed to her with the exact same elaborate plan used for his ex—and she’s not okay with it.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a listener dilemma: Jamie is torn after realizing her fiancé’s heartfelt marriage proposal was a recycled act—identically performed with his ex years earlier. The cast and callers debate: Is Jamie justified in wanting a "re-do" proposal, or is it time to let go and move forward? The discussion uncovers layers of expectations, traditions, creative effort, and the emotional stakes of proposals.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Proposal Story & Initial Reactions

[01:34–04:17]

• Jamie explains how her boyfriend of two years, John, took her on a nostalgic hometown journey ending in a heartfelt proposal on childhood playground swings, complete with a poem.
• Shock twist: Jamie later learns John proposed in exactly the same way—same activities, same location concept, same poem—to his ex.
• Immediate Panel Reaction:
  • Host: “A recyclable proposal is probably the great way to put it.” (03:37)
  • Co-host 1: “Cardinal Rule—make a woman feel special... he defied that number one rule.” (01:49)

2. Jamie’s Mixed Feelings

[02:07–04:17]

• Jamie is conflicted: she wants to defend John but also feels betrayed and less “special.”
• Panel notes she’s “trying to defend him the entire time... we know he’s a great guy, you got engaged, whatever, move on.” (02:07)
• Jamie: “I know it’s not everything, and maybe you don’t understand, but, like—oh we totally understand.” (04:27)

3. Is Recycling Proposals Acceptable?

[04:39–06:11]

• Co-hosts/light-hearted argument:
  • Host: “You can’t re-gift your engagement... you can’t re-do proposals.” (06:09)
  • Co-host 1: “It’s the most important day for a woman... you want to feel special by this guy.” (04:39)
• Callers are split:
  • Some urge Jamie to “get over it” and be grateful for a loving partner.
  • Others see the recycled proposal as a severe lack of creativity, even disrespectful.

4. Listener Call-Ins: Diverging Views

[05:10–08:32]

• Caller 1: “Get over it. This guy came up with one wonderful idea in his life... stop being so self-absorbed.” (04:52)
• Melissa (Co-host) retorts:
  • “But if someone did the same thing to you, you wouldn’t be mad? It’s the definition of self absorption—but it’s an important day for a woman!” (05:11)
• Other caller perspectives:
  • “If he’s not creative enough to think of a new engagement, he’s not creative enough to get you through the marriage.” (07:25)
  • “If every woman who says she can get over it had the same thing done to her, she’d be mad, too.” (06:47)
• Host brings up the “second best” issue:
  • “If you’re the second engagement, that means he loves you second best.” (07:10)

5. The Bar Set for Relationships

[08:03–08:32]

• Candy (caller):
  • “What is wrong with women today? Are they so desperate... that they’re just gonna overlook [the lack of effort]?” (08:09)
• Host agrees:
  • “Have we just set the bar so low for women…? I’ll take what I can, even though he’s not making me feel special...”

6. What Should Jamie Do?

[08:45–09:47]

• Summer (caller):
  • “You have a right to be pissed... but you can’t not marry him because you don’t like the proposal.” (08:47)
  • Emphasizes: problems in marriage require honest dialogue—Jamie should discuss her feelings with John.
• Jamie considers a solution:
  • “Maybe I’ll have him ask me again.” (09:51)
  • Host: “Now, I think that’s kind of romantic… could we do it again a different way?” (09:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On feeling special:
  • “Cardinal Rule—make a woman feel special. I’m telling you, everything will fall into place if you just make a woman feel special every now and again.” – Co-host 1 [01:49]
• On proposal recycling:
  • “You can’t re-gift your engagement… you can’t re-do proposals.” – Host [06:09]
• The creative effort debate:
  • “If he’s not creative enough to think of a new engagement, he’s not creative enough to get you through the marriage.” – Caller [07:25]
• Bar set for men in relationships:
  • “Have we just set the bar so low for women now that you guys are like… I’ll take what I can…” – Host [08:22]
• Jamie’s idea for a re-do:
  • “Maybe I’ll have him ask me again.” – Jamie [09:51]

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Key Timestamps

• 01:34–02:31: Introduction—Jamie’s story and her fiancé’s recycled proposal
• 03:37–04:17: Details of the original and “copy” proposal
• 04:39–06:11: Panel’s strong disapproval of “re-gifting” proposals
• 05:10–07:25: Callers chime in: “get over it” vs. “this is a big deal”
• 08:03–08:32: Debating standards and expectations for proposals
• 08:45–09:47: Constructive caller advice; Jamie considers asking for a re-do

---

Conclusion

This episode reflects a lively, spirited debate about the meaning and weight of tradition, personalization, and effort in milestone moments. While some see Jamie’s fiancé as uncreative or insensitive, others argue it’s the relationship, not the proposal, that truly matters. Ultimately, the cast suggests open communication: Jamie deserves to voice her feelings and request a re-do if it helps her feel special. The tone is teasing yet genuine, with humor and passionate opinions throughout—a classic Bert Show blend.

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Ideal for listeners who:

• Value candid, real-life relationship talk
• Enjoy debates about social customs and expectations
• Want examples of both empathy and tough love from hosts and callers

Transcript

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[Host]

You're on the Birch Show. Yesterday, even before we got this woman on, Jen and Melissa were already upset.

[Co-host 1]

Oh no. I mean again, I don't mean to be repetitive, but it's simple. Life is simple. And when men talk about women being so complicated.

Cardinal Rule Make a woman feel special. I'm telling you, everything will fall into place if you just make a woman feel special every now and again. And this he defied that number one rule.

[Host]

Now we've edited this up quite a bit. It took her about I don't know, 36 hours to actually get the story out of the proposed. Why?

[Co-host 1]

Because what was interesting about this woman, and I think, you know, if it's in there, we point this out when we're discussing it with her, is that she is defending her fiance. She's coming on to talk to us about being upset about this double proposal, you know, this repeat recycled proposal. But the entire time she's trying to defend him and she's trying to, like, make him out to be this amazingly great guy. The whole time we're like, you're coming on to complain, it's okay, we know he's a great guy, you got engaged to him, whatever, move on.

[Host]

We might have taken that out because really we were trying to get this edited down to 2 and a half hours.

Here it was yesterday, the phone call that we took. A recyclable proposal is probably the great way to put it. She was all excited that she was finally engaged, and then she found out that her boyfriend had proposed the exact same way to an ex girlfriend.

What's the boyfriend's name? What are we going to call him?

[Co-host 2]

Can I just call him John?

[Host]

John and Jamie?

[Co-host 1]

Johnny. How long have you been with him?

[Co-host 2]

We had a two year anniversary in November and we talked about marriage, but I never really thought we'd get married yet. We were gonna go visit my parents who live in a small town where I'm from in New Jersey. But this time he said, you know, I feel like I don't know anything about, like, just everything you did as a kid. And he was saying, okay, we're driving around, he's like, show me where you grew up. Cause I've lived in two different houses. And we went there first and he's like looking at the house. And we got out of the car, we walked to where I used to go to school. We were just talking and holding hands. And then we went to a place I used to have ice cream. And we went to where I went to high school. I was in a bunch of musicals and stuff. It all ended where he took me to a lovely restaurant. And then afterwards he said, I just want to go back to your elementary school. Oh, no. Where there were some swings in the back. And we just thought we'd sit there and talk. We were both on the swing, actually. And he got down, he said, close your eyes. Said, close my eyes. He said, a beautiful poem, but it ended with like, will you be my bride? And it almost sounded so old fashioned. I was like, oh, okay, so what.

[Host]

We'Re Establishing here is he has taken the time to go back to your hometown. He goes through this whole chronological thing of, like, where you went to school, yada, yada, yada. You end up on your childhood playground and he proposes to you in a beautiful poem.

[Co-host 2]

The problem with that is he had done the exact same engagement. He was engaged a long time ago. Went to her hometown.

[Host]

All right, we heard the distance.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, from everything to where, like, I could see going to hometown. But I mean, every detail to where it was a swing and a poem. And I know it's not everything, and maybe you don't understand, but, like, oh, we totally understand.

[Co-host 1]

Because the thing is, like, you know, it is a most important time, one of the most important times in a woman's life. And you want again, Cardinal roll to just feel special by this guy.

[Host]

Good morning. You're on the. On all the hits. Q100.

[Co-host 2]

Get over it. This guy came up with one wonderful idea in his life and he, you know, probably took him years to figure out and decide how he's gonna propose. Stop being so self absorbed. He loves you. You're l. That you found a wonderful guy and yet owned him.

[Co-host 1]

Hold on.

[Host]

Melissa's gonna argue with you.

[Co-host 1]

Come on, come on now. You can't tell me that if somebody did the same thing to you, you wouldn't be mad. A bride. That is the definition of self absorption. It is an important day for a woman. This is the most important time for a woman and her man. And you can't tell me to tell her to get over it because she's being too sensitive and too selfish about this.

[Co-host 2]

Absolutely.

[Co-host 1]

Absolutely.

[Co-host 2]

You know, this makes you like, I'm embarrassed. I mean, I don't know how many people know. And now I think about, I'm trying to retract my stuff. How many times I've been in a room full of like 10 people and start telling this lovely story, and half of them are thinking, oh, man, he did it all. But you know what? He wasn't the first person that did this. That was so creative. Maybe saw it on the TV show.

[Host]

Now you can't do it twice to this to two different teams.

[Co-host 1]

That is wrong.

[Co-host 2]

Wrong.

[Co-host 1]

That's the same concept as re gifting. Okay? You can't. You can't re gift your engagement engagements.

[Host]

You can't read proposals.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Host]

Good morning, Melissa. Here on all the hits Q100.

[Co-host 2]

You know, I have to disagree with the whole you can't re propose thing. I mean, women think all their life about how they want their wedding to Be. And every single time they get an engagement with someone, they just pick a different guy in that fairy tale. This guy could have practiced it. It could have been something that he had done and it was good. And it sounds like if he listens to her as much as she yaks, he probably truly does care about her and that she could just, you know, she should put that aside and think about the past two years.

[Host]

Oh, I don't know how we can see this so differently from the listeners. Like, everybody calling up is saying, come on, come on.

[Co-host 1]

Are you crazy? You know what? I'm sorry. I don't mean. Hi. You know what? I'm sorry. I don't mean to use the word hypocrite, but I'm going to use it because every single person that's calling, if it's a woman that says that she needs to get over, it would be just as mad if you found out your husband had proposed the same way to another woman. It's the same thing as the same engagement ring. If your husband gave you an engagement ring that he had given to another woman, you mean you're not going to get mad about that?

[Host]

Plus, the bigger problem is if you're getting, you know, if you're the second engagement, then that means you love you second best.

[Co-host 2]

And I think.

[Host]

I think that's the more significant issue. Hey, Marie, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Co-host 2]

Leave him.

[Host]

Leave him. That's a little harsh, don't you?

[Co-host 2]

If he's not creative enough to think of a new engagement, he's not creative enough to get you through the marriage. Oh, I don't think I can leave him. I'm just. I don't know. I'm just torn. You need to bring this up to him.

[Host]

Yeah, I think that's the first thing you got to do.

[Co-host 1]

If men would put as much effort into planning as they do and making excuses for everything they do wrong, then they could be a little more creative and things would work out a little better.

[Host]

We have time for two more calls for you, Jamie. Okay.

[Co-host 2]

I wish I had somebody who was nice to me.

[Host]

Hey, Candy.

Hey, Candy. Welcome to the bird show. Right. Thanks for calling.

[Co-host 1]

Good.

[Host]

What's going on, Candy?

[Co-host 2]

Well, I was. I am on her side. I cannot believe these women are calling her, telling her to get over it. What is wrong with the women today? Are they so desperate to get engaged and get mad that they're just gonna overlook.

[Host]

Yes. Or have we just set the bar so low for women now that you guys are like, you know, What? I'll take what I can. And even though he's not making me feel special, I'll take what I can right now.

[Co-host 2]

Let me tell you, there are plenty of men out there. And I'm not saying he needs. She needs to leave him, but he needs to be in a damn dog house for a very long time.

[Host]

Hey, Summer, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Co-host 2]

Listen, Jamie, you have a right to be pissed off about it, but you can't not marry the guy because you don't like the way he got proposed to. You need to really think about, is this how you're going to handle problems in your marriage? You have to be able to go to him with an open heart. You have to be able to talk about things that bother you. Well, that's part of it, too. Like I know. Like if I tell him something, I don't want him to wreck it for him either. I mean, like let's say 10 years ago. 10 years from now when I start mentioning it, I don't want him to think that's the time I got in the doghouse. You know what I mean? When you've been married 10 years, there's gonna be a lot of times that he's gonna remember being in the doghouse.

This will be way down on the list for things for him to feel sorry about. Getting pre too is. It's just like your wedding. And I don't want to disappoint you before you ever get married. But things never. When you anticipate something poll wise, it's never the way you want it to be.

[Co-host 1]

That's true. Like sex on your wedding night. Right, Bert?

[Host]

That's for sure.

[Co-host 2]

Maybe I'll have him ask me again.

[Host]

See, now I think that's kind of romantic. You go to him, you tell him what the problem is. I mean, he sounds like a sensitive guy, right?

[Co-host 2]

Like, could we do it again? Like a different way?

[Host]

Hey, Jamie, we gotta roll.

[Co-host 2]

Thank you so much.

[Host]

Thanks for calling.

[Co-host 2]

Bye. Bye.

[Host]

Bye. You're on the Burt Show.

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