Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: She Wants Our Help Proving She's Not A Stripper
Date: January 28, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a listener, Krista, who seeks help from The Bert Show cast to clear her name after her ex-boyfriend accused her of being a stripper or prostitute. Krista describes her experience being wrongly suspected due to her behavior and circumstances, and the cast discusses using a modern voice-based lie detector to decisively confirm the truth. The episode blends humor, empathy, and relatable relationship drama.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the "Lie Detector" (00:00–01:04)

• Cast explains the voice-based lie detector:
  • Not a traditional polygraph—uses voice cues to detect anxiety and lying.
  • Provides a baseline and measures changes in voice, pauses, stutters, and pitch.
• Offer to listeners: Use it to expose lies or clear one's own name.

Notable Quote:

"This one detects... nuances in your voice, like pauses and stutters and quivers... and it provides an analysis based on how much you paused and stuttered and quivered."
— Host (B), [00:07]

2. Krista's Story: Accusation and Fallout (01:11–03:00)

• Krista Introduced:
  • Calls in, greets the hosts, and shares her appreciation for the show.
• The accusation:
  • Her ex believed she was a stripper or prostitute based on her finances and some quirky behaviors.
  • He went behind her back texting Krista's roommate and, later, her mother to dig for "the truth."
• Wigs as a trigger:
  • Krista describes wearing wigs for fun on nights out, which her ex fixated on as "proof."
• Humor throughout:
  • The hosts and Krista riff on the absurdity—with comments about paying with $1 bills and jokes about prepping for the lie detector.

Notable Quote:

“My ex-boyfriend... broke up because he was convinced that I was a stripper or prostitute at night. And that's where all my money was coming from.”
— Krista (D), [01:19]

Memorable Exchange:

“Did you pay for everything with damp $1 bills that smelled like Bud Light?” — Host (B), [02:16]
“No, I didn't. I always used a credit card.” — Krista (D), [02:19]

3. Deeper Dive: The Relationship Dynamic (03:00–05:11)

• Looking for further "evidence":
  • Hosts press for any other signs besides wigs and Krista’s income.
  • Krista asserts she’s been “scratching her head” about the accusations.
• Motivation for the lie detector:
  • Krista wants the "haha factor"—to have the last laugh and set the record straight after the embarrassing ordeal, especially since she missed out on her New Year’s present due to their fight.
  • She clarifies she has no interest in getting back with the ex.

Notable Quote:

“I don’t want him at all. What I want is the ha-ha factor at the end of the day.”
— Krista (D), [04:26]

4. Exploring the Ex's Motives and Ridicule (05:11–07:36)

• Cast questions the ex’s logic:
  • Speculate if the ex was searching for an excuse to break up.
• The ex's intrusive behavior:
  • Krista reveals the ex texted her mother, adding further stress as their mothers are friends.
• Hosts joke about “shifts” and “pimps”:
  • Lighthearted banter around strip club and prostitution stereotypes (pasty, day vs. night shifts).
• Gift exchange gone wrong:
  • Krista describes her thoughtful presents (Tiffany keychain, nice tie) and the disappointment of only receiving a humiliating breakup in return.

Notable Quote:

"If somebody asks you if you're a stripper, then you should say, 'What shift?'"
— Host (B), [06:34]

Memorable Moment:

“I got nothing except a huge freaking fight and humiliation in front of my mother and... my girlfriend being like, you gotta leave him. Just a lot of a waste of time.”
— Krista (D), [07:24]

5. Moving Forward: The Lie Detector Plan (07:36–08:22)

• Cast's Solution:
  • Bert wants to put both Krista and her ex on the lie detector—Krista to prove her innocence, and the ex to discover his true motives.
  • Plan to call Krista and her ex separately, play the results on the show.

Notable Quote:

"I'll call you later on today and I'll put you on the lie detector... and I'll play the results for him for you tomorrow morning around this time. And I also want to get the ex boyfriend's number."
— Host (A), [08:02]

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “No, I didn't. I always used a credit card.” — Krista dismissing the $1 bills stereotype, [02:19]
• "He even went so far as to text message my mother, things like that." — Krista on the ex's invasive actions, [05:58]
• "I think it makes for an interesting story." — Krista on going public with her experience, [05:05]
• "Hell yeah." — Hosts riff on how to answer strip club assumptions, [06:34]
• "You got nothing to lose at this point. You've broken up with the dude, you don't want to get back with him." — Host, [07:51]
• "And the number to your pimp." — Closing banter, [08:19]

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–01:04: Lie detector explanation and show context
• 01:11–03:00: Krista introduces her story, recounts the accusation
• 03:00–05:11: Deeper discussion on breakup, Krista’s perspective, and host banter
• 05:11–07:36: Exploring ex’s motivations, gifts, parental involvement
• 07:36–08:22: The plan to use the voice lie detector, next steps

Tone and Style

The episode blends authentic storytelling with signature morning radio humor—snarky, fast-paced, and irreverent. The cast probes the story with empathy and curiosity but always keeps the tone light and engaging, supporting Krista while making jokes about the absurdity of her ex’s suspicions.

Summary

This episode offers a combination of real-life drama and comedic relief as Krista seeks to vindicate herself from wild accusations using a modern lie detector test. The Bert Show cast balances light-hearted banter with genuine support, promising to follow up with lie detector results and possibly confront the ex—ensuring a follow-up full of laughs and closure for Krista.