Vault: She Wants To Know If Her Fiancé Has ben Engaged Before

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Wants To Know If Her Fiancé Has Been Engaged Before

Date: December 10, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around a classic segment called “Cosmo Call” and a listener’s pressing relationship concern: she suspects her boyfriend of a year may have been engaged before and hasn’t told her. Fueled by Internet sleuthing, anxiety, and a need for answers, the show crew helps the listener indirectly confront her suspicions. The episode explores themes of trust, communication, and privacy in relationships—with the Bert Show’s trademark empathy and lighthearted banter.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Introduction to Cosmo Call & Listener’s Dilemma

[01:19 – 04:12]

• The hosts reintroduce the “Cosmo Call,” a quirky segment where they help listeners uncover information indirectly, often with Jen posing as someone from a women’s magazine conducting a survey.
• Jen recaps the current case: a listener suspects her boyfriend Tony of hiding a previous engagement after discovering an announcement online.
  • “She came across one that has his name in it…from this other bride's town, announcing the engagement.” — Jen [03:37]
• The listener expresses concern: after a year of dating, Tony has confided about past girlfriends but never about an engagement.
  • “I just feel like he might be keeping something from me. So.” — Caller [06:12]

2. The Cosmo Call Prank & Tony’s Response

[08:06 – 09:14]

• Jen (“from Cosmo Magazine”) phones Tony under the guise of a short survey, asking subtly whether he has ever been engaged.
• Tony confidently denies ever being engaged or currently engaged.
  • “Have you ever broken off an engagement?”
  • “No.” — Tony [08:51]
  • “So are you or have you ever been engaged?”
  • “No, I’ve not been engaged.” — Tony [08:57]
• The crew and listener initially accept his answers, and the listener feels reassured.
  • “I believe him…now I feel good about it. Oh, I’m so happy.” — Caller [09:29]

3. The Shocking Update: The Truth About Tony

[10:09 – 11:55]

• The listener calls back soon after with new information: she finds photographic proof—an engagement photo—confirming Tony was, in fact, engaged to the woman in the announcement.
  • “I found a picture of them, their engagement picture. It is Tony Shaw that I am dating. And I’m very, very upset.” — Caller [10:27]
  • She describes hearing hesitation in Tony’s voice during the call, now convinced he lied.
  • She considers calling Tony’s ex or even Tony’s family but is talked down by the hosts.
    • “She’s an innocent woman.” — Shannon [11:06]
• Discussion shifts to the betrayal of trust, and Jen points out the issue is not the past engagement, but Tony’s dishonesty.
  • “It’s the fact that he’s lying to me. What else is he lying about?” — Caller [11:22]

4. Listener and Host Reactions: Advice & Empathy

[12:12 – 16:24]

• The hosts offer empathy and practical advice; Phil Turano urges calm:
  • “First of all, you need to breathe. I think you need to sleep...then this is something you need to talk with him about.” — Phil Turano [12:12]
• The panel discusses possible innocent reasons Tony might not have told her (embarrassment, desire to close a chapter) vs. reasons for concern.
• Call-ins from listeners offer varied perspectives:
  • Some say to let it go as it’s the past:
    • “I think she needs to chill out. I mean, it was in the past. He’s with you now.” — Angela [13:17]
  • Others emphasize the concern is broken trust, not the secret itself:
    • “I think that I would have a pretty big problem with it…you’re like, wait a minute. Do I not know him at all?” — Jen [13:34]
  • Real-life analogies are shared; one caller learned her boyfriend had been married and had a child—she chose to discuss it openly.
• Hosts advise against confrontation and recommend an honest, calm conversation.
  • “If you approach him and put him on the defensive, right off the bat, you’re gonna do some real big damage.” — Shannon [14:54]
  • “Cause you realize you’re gonna have to explain him why you googled him…he’s gonna…be a little leery.” — Phil Turano [15:12]
• The listener expresses gratitude for the advice and admits to feeling better.
  • “I feel so much better after this advice, and I think you’re all right.” — Caller [16:04]

5. Meta-Reflection and Show Philosophy

[16:29 – 17:28]

• The show reflects on their “role” in people’s private lives. Phil explains the difference between helping at the last resort vs. immediately intervening in raw situations.
  • “We are sometimes the last resort for them…in her situation, she hadn’t done anything at all…” — Phil Turano [17:13]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Trust and Past Relationships:
  “If somebody was engaged and they're for some reason keeping it secret or hasn't told you about it and you're in a serious relationship. Yeah, it is a big deal.” — Shannon [11:26]

• On Privacy and Googling Dates:
  “I think I read this in a statistic a couple of weeks ago, like, 75% of women will Google the guy that they are going out with.” — Shannon [15:26]

• On Handling Emotional Turmoil:
  “You need to breathe. I think you need to sleep. I think you need to take some time. …this is between you and your man.” — Phil Turano [12:12]

• Reality Check from Listeners:
  “You either take it, accept it, or you move on. She’s way dramatizing the whole thing.” — Kelly [14:54]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:19] – Cosmo Call explanation and dilemma setup
• [04:12] – Shannon/the listener describes discovering the engagement
• [08:06] – The “Cosmo Call” to Tony
• [09:23] – Initial relief; listener believes Tony
• [10:09] – Listener calls back: new proof, emotional turn
• [12:12] – Advice from the hosts; calming down & planning next steps
• [13:14] – Caller feedback: perspectives from other listeners
• [15:26] – Discussion of online sleuthing in dating
• [16:29] – Show philosophy about getting involved in listeners’ lives

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Episode Tone

• Empathetic, conversational, and candid: The hosts balance humor with genuine concern; they validate the listener's emotions while also urging perspective and a calm approach.
• Supportive but real: They don’t sugarcoat the challenges of uncovering trust issues in relationships, and they’re honest about what’s at stake.

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Final Takeaways

• Past secrets, especially involving engagement or marriage, trigger strong emotions around trust.
• The Bert Show serves as a relatable, non-judgmental sounding board, but ultimately, the solution lies in honest, direct communication between partners.
• Listeners are reminded that privacy, trust, and confrontation all require care, context, and a level head.

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For anyone who’s ever had doubts about a partner’s past—or Googled a date—this episode is a reminder that you’re not alone, and that the answers (and even the anxiety) are best faced together, not in isolation.

Transcript

[Shannon]

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[Melissa]

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[Jen]

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[Jeff]

The Birch show all right.

[Shannon]

Cosmo Call. Melissa, try to explain what Cosmo Call is all about because I don't know that we've done it this early before.

[Jen]

Exactly.

[Phil Turano]

Well, it's. It's a way. And the best way to explain is the first one we ever did. It's just a way to find out information indirectly. There was a woman that had called before who wanted to date someone within her office, but she was afraid to approach this guy because she wasn't sure whether he felt the same way about her. And of course, in an office environment, if you make the move and it's not reciprocated, it's gonna be awkward from then on out. So the easiest way to do it is to call us. And then Jen pretends to be someone from a major woman's magazine calling to do research for a quiz. And so Jen called the guy and Asked him how he felt. But inter office relationships and through the course of Jen's questioning to him, we were able to find out why while the woman was on the phone listening, that he, you know, was interested in her too. So we started a romance. So it's kind of a way to, you know, again, find out information without damaging, you know, something. Yeah, yeah. The last, forget the lesson.

[Shannon]

We're all on a roll today. So what we do is we generally record these and then we wait a week to play it because the person has the information. And we give them a week to kind of figure out what they want to do with the information. Then we go ahead, we play the Cosmo Call, and we get an update from the person on the air. But we got a frantic virtual listener calling up this morning saying, you know that Cosmo call that we did last week, I got to talk to you guys about it. Now, I wasn't here and Jen and Jeff apparently recorded it. So what we're going to play, I haven't heard yet.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I think. And Jen, could I be mistaken, but I think this is the best Cosmo Call ever recorded. I mean, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you not being there, but I think that the setup and the delivery of the person putting the whole thing together and kind of wrapping it up in a bow was fantastic. Would you agree?

[Shannon]

Well, my guess is if you let it, it's 45 minutes long. So we're not gonna get out of it until 8 o' clock this morning.

[Phil Turano]

This is the last thing we'll do this morning. We'll see you tomorrow.

[Jen]

Bye.

[Phil Turano]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Hopefully Tracy edited it.

[Jen]

Well, it was actually uneventful, which you'll get to hear here. But the woman who called us up was concerned about her current boyfriend having a previous engagement. Not an appointment, actually an engagement where he gave a woman a ring in the past because she had stumbled upon his name in an article on the Internet.

Which was from this other bride's town, announcing the engagement. You know how people put engagement announcements in the paper? Well, she came across one that has his name in it. And it was around kind of the same town where he grew, like where he grew up. So she's thinking, wait a minute, was he engaged before? And you know, and didn't ever tell me about it. So we kind of tried to do some investigation, but didn't turn up with much. So I'm interested to find out why she's calling us and wants to talk.

[Shannon]

To us and she's already on the phone. She's on hold, ready to talk. So let's play Cosmo call, and then in a couple of minutes, we'll talk to Shannon.

[Jen]

Sounds good.

[Jeff]

Hi, Shannon. It's Jeff and Jen from the Burt show at all the hits Q100. How are you?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Hello. I'm good, thanks.

[Jeff]

Good. Tracy kind of told us about your story.

[Jen]

Give us a scoop. What's going on?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Well, I've been dating Tony about a year, and things are going really great. I still feel like he keeps a few things from me. He's got a bit of a secretive side, and so I googled him, and a few Tony schmolln came up, But I think I found the one that was him. And I read some interesting things. There was one thing that sort of troubled me, though.

Said that he was engaged to a woman in Manchester, Connecticut. Now, he's from Waterbury, Connecticut. He's been at Lynn about three years. He's never told me he was engaged. He said he did have a couple of serious girlfriends, but he never told me he was engaged before. And I feel like I want to get to the bottom of it, but yet I don't want to tell him that I googled him. So basically, I just want to find out if he's being honest with me and find out a little bit about his past.

[Jen]

Okay. Now, how long have you guys been dating again?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

About a year.

[Jen]

About a year. And do you think he would be, like, currently engaged now or, like. No. Like, that's not what you're worried about?

[Jeff]

How long ago. How long ago was the engagement announcement thing that you found?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

It was from five years ago, which was when he was living in Connecticut.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Which he has told me he's from Connecticut. It's a different town. So that's the only thing. I'm not certain it would be him, but.

[Jeff]

And I can understand why you're nervous because they would run the engagement announcement probably in the town where the bride is from, Right?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

That's true. That's what I thought. And how far is he? Just got a little bit of a secretive side. And I can see him not wanting to tell me that he's ever been engaged. And I just think that's a big thing to keep from someone that you're, you know, getting pretty serious with.

[Jen]

Had you ever heard this woman's name before? Like, did he say this. This particular name was an ex girlfriend?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

It didn't ring a bell. Her name did not ring a bell. But, you know, he has told me he's alluded to having a Couple of serious girlfriends, and I don't know all their names. There's one. I know her name, and it was not her. But something in me just wants to get to the bottom of it. I just feel like he might be keeping something from me. So.

[Jen]

And if. If he is. Like, if we. If we call him and do a little Cosmo survey, if. If we do this, then what's. I mean, what's going to happen if. If we find out that he was engaged?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Well, I'm gonna. I would be happy to address it with him. I definitely would say, look, you know, you can't keep something this big for me. And if you're keeping this for me. What else have you kept for me? I would definitely address it, but it wouldn't be.

[Jen]

It wouldn't be a deal breaker.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

No, no, I wouldn't leave him over it. But, you know, if he denied it and then I found out it was in fact true, that might be a serious situation.

[Jeff]

That's a bigger problem. All right, well, so the way this works is Jen will call him up and she will ask, and you will be quiet. You have to sit there. It's not that big of a deal. Jen's doing most of the work, so you just got to sit there and be quiet. And if you don't have a mute button on your phone, you can use that and just nice and silent. And then Jen will ask him a bunch of questions, and hopefully they will lead to whether or not he's been engaged in the past. And then we'll let him go. We'll come back and talk to you. Okay?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Okay.

[Jen]

Yeah. Don't say anything while he's on the phone. We'll only talk to you once we made sure he's hung up.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Be very, very quiet. Jen is hunting wascals.

[Jen]

Tony.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Right, Tony.

[Jen]

Yes, Tony. Okay.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

All right, here's the second part of Cosmo. Call now.

[Jen]

Hello? Hi, can I please speak to Tony?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Speaking.

[Jen]

Hey, Tony, my name is Jen. I'm calling from Cosmo Magazine, and I'm actually, I'm not calling with subscriptions, so I'm not trying to sell you anything. I just wanted to see if you had a couple of minutes to do one of our Cosmo surveys for our upcoming April issue. It'll just take two minutes. Toni, I'm really not going to bug you for very long. We're just pulling men between the ages of 25 and 34.

[Phil Turano]

Okay, sure.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

If it doesn't take long.

[Jen]

Sure. Yeah. Do you fall in that category?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Oh, Yes, I do.

[Jen]

Okay. Now, this will just take a second here. Tony, we have found that 25% of men between the ages of 18 and 34 have broken off an engagement. Would you agree that this statistic is accurate?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Sure. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

And have you ever broken off an engagement?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Me?

[Jen]

Yes.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

No.

[Jen]

No, you have not. So are you or have you ever been engaged?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

No, I've not been engaged.

[Jen]

You've never been engaged and you're not engaged now?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

No.

[Jen]

Okay. All right, Tony, I told you it would just take a minute. That's all we wanted to find out from you. Thank you so much.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

That's it?

[Jen]

That's it. You can check out the little survey. It's going to be in this April issue.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Alrighty.

[Jen]

Okay. Thanks, Tony.

[Jeff]

You're very welcome.

[Jen]

You have a great day.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

You, too.

[Jen]

Bye. Bye. I should be in sales.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

He's not lying.

[Jen]

Are we sure? Are we sure he wasn't lying to the statistician?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I believe him. I believe him. And there are just a couple things off, you know, so now I feel good about it. Oh, I'm so happy.

[Jeff]

So you're okay with this?

[Jen]

You good?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Yeah, I'm okay with it.

[Shannon]

All right. So she goes her way, you guys go your way. And that's it?

[Jen]

That's it. We never planned to even play that.

[Phil Turano]

Jen went her own way after that.

[Jeff]

Me and.

[Jen]

I think I was tired and a little loopy when we did that.

[Jeff]

We recorded that. Then me and the statistician.

Went down the hall and had a little something something.

[Shannon]

Well, Shannon calls this morning, frantic, talking to Phil Turano, who's been answering phone calls going, I gotta talk to you guys about the Cosmo call. And that's really the only reason why we played it, or it probably would have gone nowhere. Hey, Shannon.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Hello.

[Jeff]

Hello.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Yeah, I did a little further research and I investigated the girl that was an engagement announcement, and I found a picture of them, their engagement picture. It is Tony Shaw that I am dating. And I'm very, very upset.

I mean, after listening to that the second time, I can hear his voice. A little hesitation when they. When you asked if he had been engaged, I could hear. And he's lying. And I. I haven't slept all night. I'm shaking. I am. I almost called the girl. I'm just. I really don't know what to do.

[Jeff]

What are you gonna call her for?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I don't know. I just need to let my anger out somewhere. I'm not calling him back.

[Phil Turano]

Wait a second.

[Shannon]

I mean, she didn't do anything.

[Phil Turano]

They're not having an affair right now. They used to be be engaged, and it's him that you need to talk to. She's not doing anything.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Yeah, but you don't just not tell someone you've been dating a year that you engaged and had an engagement party. His family probably knows.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I think we all agree with that, but you don't take it out on the wolves.

[Phil Turano]

Yeah, there's an issue with him.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Not her.

[Shannon]

She's an innocent woman.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I'm sorry. I haven't talked to anyone, but I'm really upset.

[Jeff]

Well, now, tell me, when did you find this?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Yesterday afternoon at work.

[Jen]

Okay, so this relationship happened before you even met your guy, right?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Absolutely.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

It's the fact that he's lying to me.

[Jen]

Have you guys.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

What else is he lying about? It's a big thing.

[Shannon]

Well, yeah, it is a big thing. If somebody was engaged and they're for some reason keeping it secret or hasn't told you about it and you're in a serious relationship. Yeah, it is a big deal.

[Jen]

Well, have you guys talked about it? Is it something that he's just, like, not told you? Because maybe he hasn't thought of it, maybe it wasn't.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

We have definitely talked about prior relationships and how serious we were. And I've never been engaged, and he told me he's never been engaged and what we talked about. He and I lives together, so it's like.

I'm just. I'm just at my wits end. I feel I'm too old to be going through something like this, and I'm just ready to.

[Jeff]

You called us up because.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Well, I. I think I want some advice. I mean, I really want either to call him and have a plan. Right now. I just can't even think straight.

[Phil Turano]

First of all, you need to calm down. First of all, I think that you are. I think you need to breathe. I think you need to sleep. I think you need to take some time. And then I think this is a situ. This is a. This is between you and your man. This is something that you need to talk with him about. I don't think that it's appropriate for us to be involved in calling him up with a plan. And I mean, this is your relationship.

[Shannon]

And also, you know, I don't think that. I mean, if this happens to me, I don't look at it as though, oh, my God, what else is he or she lying about in the relationship? I start to get a little suspicious of why he's covering up this one relationship.

[Phil Turano]

It could be as innocent as that he's embarrassed that he was. Got to that extent with her and he. And. And he's with you, and he wants you to realize that he really, you know, it could be very innocent is the reason he hasn't brought it up.

[Shannon]

Take a couple of calls for you here, though, Shannon. Okay.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Oh, you're so great. You really give great advice. I feel so much better.

[Shannon]

Do you really?

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I really do.

[Phil Turano]

I mean, sleep.

[Shannon]

All right, well, let's try to get you a couple of calls that'll make you feel just as bad. Hey, Angela.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

You're on all the hits Q100 with Shannon.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I think she needs to chill out. I mean, it was in the past. He's with you now. He's moved on. Just let it go.

[Shannon]

But this is no big deal at all if it's in the past and he says something about it. But he's obviously has some reason to not bring it up.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I think maybe he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He's put it behind him.

[Jen]

That could definitely be, but I think that I would have a pretty big problem with it, because then you'd feel like, wait a minute. I felt like I knew this person so well, and something like that comes up and you're like, wait a minute. Do I not know him at all? Like. And I think it's also not questioning, like, that he's lied about his whole life, but just questioning yourself. Like, questioning the trust that you put in yourself when you get to know somebody going, wait a minute. I thought I knew this person completely.

[Phil Turano]

And I think it's also important to understand. To understand him better is to understand why that didn't work out. He got engaged with someone. Is it, you know, it may. Was it her fault or her breaking up the engagement? Was it him breaking up the engagement? I mean, yeah, I would want to know because that may be a way to get to know him better and to understand how he treats relationships better.

[Shannon]

Hey, Kelly, you're on all the hits Q100 with Shannon.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Hey. I just wanted to tell Shannon to just kind of relax. I went through the same thing, except for my boyfriend actually was married and has a child. And I didn't know for almost eight months into our relationship. And, I mean, I asked him, we talked about it and never came up. And then just one night, Bam told me the whole story. And it turned out it was a horrible thing. And it happened when he was really young, and he just kind of wanted to almost forget about it, as horrible as that sounds. But you learn, you grow in your relationship. You either take it, accept it, or you move on. She's way dramatizing the whole thing.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I think they're right there. I think if you approach him and put him on the defensive, right off the bat, you're gonna do some real big damage.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Yeah. If you go into it going, why are you lying to me? What's going on? What else are you lying about? Then, yeah, you're gonna have problems if you just sit him down and talk to him. It's either gonna work or it.

[Phil Turano]

Cause you realize you're gonna have to explain him why you googled him. I mean, you know, like, you. You can't. I mean, even if you bring that up, it's. I mean, like, you can't put him on the defensive because you've been doing this. He's gonna. He's gonna probably be a little leery of you doing this investigation if anything's bad.

[Shannon]

I don't think. You know what? I don't know that there are a lot of people that would admit it, but I bet that happens more often in relationships than not when you first start going out with somebody. I would say, and I think I read this in a statistic a couple of weeks ago, like, 75% of women will Google the guy that they are going out with.

[Phil Turano]

I have never done. I've never done that.

[Shannon]

Oh, really?

[Phil Turano]

Never?

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

I do feel. I do feel that it's a little invasive of me to have googled him, especially twice, and perhaps, you know, talking about it and it was on my mind, and I just thought, let me just get to the bottom of this. But I do. I feel so much better after this advice, and I think you're all right. I mean, maybe she dumped him and he still heard about it, and at.

[Shannon]

Least we turned you around.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Phil Turano]

Just, you know, promise me that you'll sleep before you talk to him a little.

[Jeff]

If you're on any, you know, pills or anything, you go ahead, take them. Yeah, take them.

[Jen]

Stop drinking Red Bull.

Chill out a little bit.

[Shannon]

All right, Shannon, we're gonna let you go.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Let us know how it goes.

[Phil Turano]

Okay?

[Jen]

Good luck.

[Shannon]

Bit of a.

[Jeff]

She's a prize.

[Shannon]

Highs and lows there.

[Jeff]

Wow, he's a lucky guy.

[Jen]

I mean, sweet. I mean, she's a sweetheart, and I hope everything works out, but does she have a weird voice or what?

[Shannon]

Hey, Ben, you're on all the hits q100.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Hey, guys. I'm just a little curious about something. Melissa, what the heck were you thinking when you said, oh, gee, this really isn't our business to get into? You guys have busted up dozens of relationships.

[Jen]

Well, I mean, we, well, we've already.

[Phil Turano]

Done something in it and I just felt like she was calling us frantic. And again, I enjoy being a part of the show and doing what we do, but I thought in this situation, I thought this was something, you know, I don't think that like with War of the Roses and those things, these are people that have done everything they possibly could to find out about something and we are sometimes the last resort for them. In her situation, she hadn't done anything at all and she was gonna come to us and she was gonna alleviate her self of responsibility in trying to fix her relationship or find out something in her relationship. So I don't necessarily wanna be the first, you know, tool used, but I'm certainly happy to be the last.

[Caller (Shannon's listener)]

Well, granted, somebody needs to tell this chick that the Academy Award nominations have already gone out.

[Jeff]

The Birch Show.

[Jen]

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[Jen]

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[Melissa]

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[Jen]

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[Shannon]

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[Jen]

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[Melissa]

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